Chapter 17--Cutie Marks
“How do I let myself get roped into this shit?” I asked myself as I was once again at the mercy of Applebloom and her “Cutie Mark Crusader” friends. In this particular attempt at trying to earn their cutie marks, they were trying to be human rescuers. Of course, in order to rescue a human, a human had to be in danger. And unfortunately for me, I’m the only human they know.
So that’s how I found myself in the Everfree without my crossbow, arms and legs tied and some of my own hard earned meat strapped around me. Inevitably, this attracted a pack of timber wolves--wolves made of magical living wood. Luckily, Applejack showed up before any humans got ripped to pieces because a certain three fillies weren’t paying attention like they were supposed to be.
“Applebloom,” she scolded, “you an’ your Crusader friends oughta know better ‘n ta put ponies in danger.”
“Not a pony,” I said.
“Sorry, Applejack,” Applebloom and her friends--an orange pegasus filly with purple-pink hair named Scootaloo and a white unicorn with pink and purple hair named Sweetie Belle--apologized.
She then turned to me. “How’d you even get tied up? Aren’t you stronger ‘n them?”
“Shut up, I was taking a nap,” I said. “Plus, there’s three of ‘em.” I’ve come to accept my natural dialect again. none of the ponies really care and it’s not like I’ll ever see another human again so my societal standing doesn’t really make a difference. Besides, if I find myself in a situation where I need to be more formal, I can pick up cityspeak easily enough.
On the way out of the forest, the Crusaders were saying something about asking others how they got their cutie marks. This, of course, led to Applebloom calling back to AJ about how she got her cutie mark. “I never told you that story?” she said. “Well shoot. I was just a little filly, even littler than y’all. You were just a foal at the time but life here was mostly the same. We’d work on the farm one day, then wake up the next day an’ work some more. But I didn’t much like that. I wanted to live the sophisticated life like Auntie an’ Uncle Orange. So, I packed my stuff an’ headed to Manehatten where Aunt an’ Uncle Orange lived. I lived with them for about a week but it didn’t take long for me to start missin’ home. Then one morning ‘round sunrise, I was lookin’ out my window an’ I saw a rainbow pointin’ towards home. I knew at that point that I was meant to be at Sweet Apple Acres. I ran home as quickly as I could and that’s when this baby appeared.” She motioned at her cutie mark. “And I’ve been happily workin’ the farms ever since.”
“I didn’t know you ever went to Manehatten,” I said. If you hadn’t guessed already, Manehatten is this world’s equivalent of Manhattan. “So, tell me, is it more or less stuck up than Canterlot?”
“I think it’s about the same but it’s a different kind of stuck up.”
“Hmm, interesting.” By now we had left the forest and the fillies were starting to run off somewhere.
“Síor, would you mind keepin’ an eye on those three, I gotta get ready for the harvest.”
“Harvest? Didn’t we just harvest, like, a month ago?”
“Yes, but this here’s the zap apple harvest. The zap apple grows at random times because it’s magic. The first signs have appeared so we gotta get ready to harvest.”
“Fine. But you owe me.” I started to follow the girls into town when I saw them crash into Fluttershy. Scootaloo was pulling the other two on her scooter and they had been going pretty fast so I ran to catch up to make sure they were all ok.
By the time I had caught up, they were all getting back up because ponies are fucking indestructable. “Sorry about that, Fluttershy,” Scootaloo said.
“That’s fine, Scootaloo. Just, next time try watching where you’re going,” she replied.
“Hey Flutters,” I said.
“Oh, hi Síor. Where are you four off to in such a hurry?”
“We’re on our way into town to find Rainbow Dash and ask her how she got her cutie mark,” Scootaloo said.
“Oh, I bet that’s quite a story. You know, I wouldn’t have gotten my cutie mark if it weren’t for her.”
“Really?” the fillies asked.
“You see, when I was a filly, I was a very weak flier. There were some bullies at flight school that teased me for it. But then, Rainbow Dash stepped in to defend me. She challenged the bullies to a race to defend my honor. I was the flag filly for the race and I waved the flag for them to begin. They all flew so fast past the cloud I was on that I lost my balance and fell. I tried flapping my wings to stop myself from falling but it didn’t do a thing.”
“Oh my gosh! What happened next?” Applebloom asked.
“Did you hit the ground?” Sweetie Belle added.
“Did you die?!” Scootaloo said.
“Just when I thought it was all over for me, a huge kaleidoscope of butterflies fly under me and caught me. They brought me gently down to a meadow full of woodland creatures.” At this point she sung a song about how she loved everything in nature. “Then a very loud sound came from somewhere nearby and scared all the critters away. It was then that I realised that I had a special connection with the animals. I was able to understand them on a deeper level and was able to get them to come back out. And that’s when I noticed my cutie mark had appeared.”
“Aw, that’s such a sweet story,” Sweetie Belle said.
“What about Rainbow Dash? What about the race?” Scootaloo asked.
“Well, I wasn’t there so I don’t know,” Fluttershy answered.
“Well, we’ll have to find Rainbow Dash then,” Scootaloo said.
The fillies ran off and I got ready to follow them. “Bye Fluttershy,” I said.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“I have to follow those three to make sure they don’t kill themselves. But at the rate they're going, they’ll kill me before they even get the chance to cause any damage.”
“Why are you following them?”
“‘Cause I promise Applejack that I would. Remind me to get my revenge on her when the day’s over.”
“Well, I think it’s awfully nice of you to do this for a friend.” She nestled her head under my chin.
“Yeah, yeah. Don’t tell anyone I’ve gone soft, though--I got a reputation to keep.” I kissed her forehead. “Now if you don’t mind, I got some responsible caretakering to do.”
“You mean caretaking?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever.” I ran to catch up with the troublemakers.
Thankfully, they had stopped at a nearby restaurant for some lunch. Not so thankfully, I still didn’t have any money. Fortunately, Twilight was there so she bought me food. Unfortunately, the fillies also saw her and asked her about her cutie mark story.
I already knew this story from that time when I asked about Spike’s childhood. As it turns out, Twilight hatched him with magic. Basically, her parents had enrolled her in a magic school but she had to pass an entrance exam. The exam was hatching a dragon egg which just so happened to contain Spike. She wasn’t able to do it until a huge blast made her surge with magical energy. She hatched Spike and did a shitload of other magic accidentally before Celestia came and fixed everything and got Twilight to calm the fuck down. Celestia then took on Twilight as her personal prodige saying that she had an enormous amount of raw ability. Spike ended up being Twilight’s life-long friend, little brother, and assistant.
Of course Twilight’s story took a while to tell so I had some time to space off. I don’t really remember what I was thinking about but we eventually left leaving Twilight to bounce around like a fucking idiot saying, “Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes” over and over again.
We ran into Rarity next. Not literally this time because Scootaloo was actually watching where she was going and stopped before hitting her. “Oh perfect timing, you three!” She said before grabbing them all and rushing off to her boutique. Of course, I followed to see what kind of torture she had planned for them.
As she used them as models for her new line of filly sized clothing, she told them of her own cutie mark story. “I had been set in charge of making the costumes for a school musical one year. The teacher told me they were nice but I didn’t want them to be nice, I wanted them to be perfect. I tried everything I could think of to perfect my designs but nothing worked. I had begun to question my skills of being a designer when my horn started to glow. I knew unicorn magic didn’t happen without a reason so I was certain this was my destiny. I was dragged along by my horn for hours when suddenly, it stopped in front of a huge rock. I was outraged that my destiny was a mere rock Then a huge explosion rang through the air and the rock split open revealing hundreds of gems and I realised that was what my costumes were missing. I quickly gathered the gems and brought them back home to add them to the costumes. When the musical opened that night, my costumes were on full view to the audience and when I saw how much they admired them, I noticed that my cutie mark had appeared.”
Scootaloo groaned. “These namby-pamby stories are getting us nowhere. They’re all about finding who you are and boring stuff like that.”
“Yes Scootaloo,” Rarity said. “That’s exactly--”
“Come on girls. We need action! We need Rainbow Dash!”
They took off again and I decided to ‘borrow’ a skateboard that was sitting outside. Unfortunately, I had no idea how to skateboard without falling on my ass so I quickly tied the board to the back of the wagon that Applebloom and Sweetie Belle ride in and sat down while I held on for dear life.
“Why don’t we ever crash into Rainbow Dash?” Scootaloo complained.
“You’re looking for Rainbow Dash?” Pinkie Pie, being her typical self, randomly appeared in the wagon. “If I was her, I’d be at Sugarcube Corner. Actually, if I was anyone, I’d be at Sugarcube Corner. Hey, I have an idea! Wanna go to Sugarcube Corner?”
“Well, we were looking for Rainbow Dash to ask her how she got her cutie mark,” Sweetie Belle explained.
“Cutie mark? Come with me and I’ll tell you how I got mine.”
Scootaloo sighed, “Why not?” She changed course to head for Sugarcube Corner.
On the way, Pinkie told us how she got her cutie mark. “My sisters and I were raised on a rock farm outside of Ponyville. We spent our days working in the fields. There was no talking. There was no smiling. There was only rocks. We were preparing to rotate the rocks from the south field to the east field when all of a sudden the biggest blast of anything ever exploded across the sky and the constant overcast we had was cleared by a beautiful rainbow. I was so happy and I wanted to share that happiness with the whole world. But rainbows don’t come around that often so I thought How can I share this happiness without a rainbow? And just like that an idea hit me. That’s when I threw my very first party for my family. They were so happy and I was happy that they were happy. And that’s how Equestria was made.”
Scootaloo stopped abruptly, whether because of Pinkie’s Pinkieness or because we had arrived at Sugarcube Corner. “Wha- huh?”
“Look, we’re here,” Applebloom said.
“Maybe on the way home I can tell you the story of how I got my cutie mark,” Pinkie said. “It’s a real gem!”
“Oh, come on,” Sweetie Belle said. “She’s just being Pinkie Pie.”
We went inside the shop. Conveniently, it was rounding dinnertime. Also conveniently Twilight was there to buy me food. Another act of convenience was that Rainbow Dash was also there, a fact which was quickly pointed out by Scootaloo.
“I hear you’re looking for my cutie mark story,” Dash said.
“You have no idea what I’ve been through today to hear it,” Scootaloo said.
“It all happened at flight school where I was standing against all odds to defend Fluttershy’s honor. The race began. I knew that I had to win this race. My friend depended on it. I flew faster than I ever had. That freedom was unlike anything I’d ever felt. The speed. The adrenaline. The wind in my mane. I liked it...a lot. Then, as I rounded the third corner, one of the bullies bumped into me and knocked me off course. Turns out, the only thing I liked more than flying fast was winning. The next checkmark was near the ground and I flew like nopony had ever flown before. Everypony thought the Sonic Rainboom was just a myth but that day--the day I discovered racing--I proved that the legends were true! And that, little ones, is how you earn a cutie mark.”
The fillies all wowed.
“Wait a minute,” Fluttershy said. “I heard that explosion. And I saw the rainbow too. Rainbow Dash, if you hadn't scared the animals, I never would have learned I could communicate with them and gotten my cutie mark.”
“I heard that boom!” Pinkie exclaimed. “And right afterwards, there was this amazing rainbow that taught me to smile.”
“When I got my cutie mark, I saw a rainbow that pointed me home,” Applejack said. “I bet it was your sonic rainboom!”
“There was an explosion I could never explain when I got my cutie mark,” Rarity said.
“This is uncanny!” Twilight said. “If that explosion didn't happen when it did, I would have blown my entrance exam. Rainbow Dash, I think you helped me earn my cutie mark too!”
“Yeah, yeah,” I said. “You all got your cutie marks because of Rainbow Dash, big whoop. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to eat my dinner.
“Hey, how about a song?” Fluttershy asked.
“Sure,” I said. “You guys may be annoying but you have oddly amazing singing voices.” The six friends broke into a song about how friendship is always destined or something like that. Eventually, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were able to convince Scootaloo to sing, too. Heck, even I sang a verse. It’s nice to have friends that buy you food--er, I mean that love and care for you? Is that right? Whatever, friendship is good, yadda yadda yadda.