Misery

by ImpendingDoomxXx

Chapter 5: Perfect

So far, today wasn't a very good day. In fact, today was horrible.

It started with my first class. I wasn't paying attention, due to my being so tired, and I missed an entire lesson on Stars and the chemical reactions that form and sustain them. I had a nice chat with my Astronomy teacher because of it. Then, I actually fell asleep; in math class no less. The teacher made me stand up in front of the class and work through the lesson for the day with her, just to make a point. It didn't go very well. I almost passed out while standing up; that wouldn't have been a pretty sight. Due to those two mishaps, I have an appointment with the principal after lunch today.

Which brings me to now. Lunch time. Today's lunch wasn't so bad, compared with the usual complaining about school food, I enjoyed it. They had hay, daisy and daffodil sandwiches, apples, and a number of deserts.

Today has been quite cool, with a smooth westerly breeze, and a clear sky with a bright sun. So I decided to eat my lunch out on a hill, under a tall oak tree. Isolating myself from the other ponies felt calming. After I finished eating, I leaned against the trunk of the tree and stared up into the tree branches. I felt so warm and alive, it was very comforting to be out there by myself. Then out of nowhere my thoughts started haunting me with what happened last night.

My nightmare was bad enough just being what it was, but something caught my attention more than anything else. " come to dinner sweaty!"I had dreamed of my mother yelling that to me last night. I wonder why I couldn't hear my name. I heard the rest of her words. Why not my name? Why can't I remember what she looks like? I've tried really hard ever since last night, but to my dismay, I can't remember her face. Her good face that is. The face she died with is burned into my memory, I wish I could forget that face. But her good face, the face she had before she died, I can't remember it. My own mother's face, and I can't remember it.

I can't remember her ever calling my name anyways. Could that be it? I can't remember how she would say it, so my mind can't imagine her saying it? Does it even work that way? If it did, then why could I imagine her saying all of the other things? Couldn't my mind have just put her voice behind my name?

I've been lost in thought here under this tree for quite some time now. I can't stand the thought of forgetting how my mother would say my name. I can't stand the thought of forgetting my own mother's face. I disgust myself.

Just as I got that last thought in, the bell rang for lunch to end. Also it told me that I had to go to the principal's office. "I really don't need this right now." I say to myself.

***

*Knock, knock, knock* I rap on the door. A very muffled, "Come in." comes from the other side. I open the door and take a step inside, "I was told to come see you after lunch." I say quite plainly. "Yes, come in. Take a seat." He said indicating to a chair in front of his desk.

"Ok, I hear that you have trouble staying awake in class." He said, getting right to the chase. "Yeah, but it's no big deal." I said trying to cut this as short as I could.

"How is life at home going for you?" He asked. "Not too bad, why do you ask?" I know why, I just want to get through this and leave. "Well, your grades aren't faltering too bad, your on the verge of a D in math, but that's not too bad." He said. "Your teachers report that you are having increasingly more difficulty paying attention and staying wake in class. Why is that?" He asked, making it sound as if he cared. "I'm not the best with scheduling. I don't always get to bed at a descent hour, and it's completely my fault."

"What do your parents have to say about this?" He asked. I felt like saying that my parents were dead, just to make this feel awkward, but I decided against it. "Nothing, I choose to stay up and do my own thing; they have nothing to do with this." Of course, that was a lie. I almost never stayed up and did anything, I just had a hard time staying asleep due to the things that haunt my mind. But I wasn't going to let him know that.

"Well, I don't know what to do then. I can't tell you to change the way you live your life, nor do I wish to. But we need to do something about this." Then I got a bit scared of what he might mean. "You mean like a punishment?" I asked, hiding the fear in my voice. "I'd rather not, but if you can stay awake for the rest of this month in every class, then I'll let you off with nothing. But if you fall sleep again, then I will have to give you at least detention." 'Not detention. I can't even imagine what would happen if I got in trouble.'I thought to myself.

"So what are you going to do?" I asked. "I'm going to let you go back to class, and if I get another report that you fell asleep, then I will take disciplinary action. But if I don't her back from you until' this month is over, then I will give you some type of bonus." Bonus? I wonder what that could mean.I thought to myself. "So I can leave now?" I ask, ready to be out of there. "Yes, I'm done with you."

That was awkward.I think to myself. I wonder why he didn't ask more questions. I was only in his office for about fifteen minutes, and I didn't even get in trouble, at least not yet. This makes no sense. I was expecting him to do something about this, not just give me a break.

I'm walking to my third class of the day, wishing that I could just go home for the rest of the day.

I don't know if I'll ever understand why I just got away with a "direct violation of the rules", but I won't question it. Thats the last thing I want to do when I get away with something. But I won't ignore it either, I want to know why good things are happening to me all of a sudden.