“I wonder sometimes about what would have happened if I had never found you. Would I have stayed the same bratty little girl I was? Maybe I would have grown to forget you, and you’d be nothing but a faded memory rather than a bad dream. But you are a nightmare I never want to forget…
No pony would have been able to tell her how hard it would be to apologize, but then again, finding said draconequus to say sorry too seemed to be a task on its own. She had no idea how fast that thing could travel, as it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes since their unruly spat, and yet he had vanished into the night air.
“Discord!” Celestia called out, looking around outside the castle gates in hopes that Discord was lurking nearby. But she would have no such luck. “Blast it,” she muttered to herself. “Where in mother’s ungodly green earth are you?”
Past the gates of the castle and into the town she ventured. Maybe he was diddling about the small village, even though it was now into the late hours of the night, some ponies were still out and about, although to be fair they were mostly foul smelling drunkards and courtesans. Another mystery of her mother was to allow these vile ingrates to roam, but at least they did their sins in the shade of night. The young princess quickly shook herself from these thoughts though, as they were distracting and diverting her from the task at hand.
A thought occurred; perhaps Discord was back in his alley and in his box. “Yes, of course!” She said aloud. It was so obvious she felt moronic for not thinking of it sooner, she knew if her feelings were to ever be hurt she would go running home, as childish as it was. And if it was acceptable for her, then why not somepony like Discord? Now all she needed to do remember where said box was. It would prove to be more difficult than she would think. Even with the course lighting of fireflies and street lanterns, the streets and roads were illumed in shadows, and all the alleys looked like one another.
It was becoming clearer by the minute that she was going to have to start taking drastic measures, something she wanted to avoid all together… She was going to have to ask a pony for directions. The young princess gagged at the commoners that she had to ask. The stallion that smelled like a brewery, the young colt that smelled of blood, or the mare that smelled like shame and something else she’d rather leave a mystery.
The drunkard probably didn’t know where he was right now, and the other guy was creepy… which just left her with the street-walker. Celestia took a deep breath and mustered up her best fake smile as she approached the mare. “Excuse me ma’am, I was wondering if you could help me this evening.”
The mare gave her a strange look, rolling her eyes and spitting on the ground. “Can’t help you kid, even I don’t venture in that vice.”
“How very noble of you,” Celestia said sarcastically. “But that’s not what I meant. All I was wondering was if you’ve seen a friend of mine. Big, lanky looking guy, about nine feet long, looks like a snake with a jackelope for a head?”
“I don’t know… did I, toots?” The courtesan grinned, holding her hoof out. “Maybe you could help refresh my memory.”
“Oh, how wonderful, you’re bribing me!” Celestia beamed, her horn glowing with a yellow aura. Within a moment, the mare of sin was whipped up from the ground by her ankle, panicking and squirming as the now scorning Celestia pressed up against her head, glaring her in her upside down eyes. “Listen… ‘toots’, I’m in a crappy mood tonight and I really just want to crawl into my bed and think of how not to end up like you and if you don’t want to end up in three feet under the ground then tell me where my friend is.”
“He-hey! What’s going on?! Let me go you crazy bi—”
“Ah, ah, ah,” smiled Celestia. “I wouldn’t call me that if I were you… unless you want me to break every bone in your body. Now tell me where my friend is!”
“He crawled into that alley over there; he hasn’t come out since then! Now let me go, psycho!”
“Thank you, was that so hard? Now you get to take a nap.” Her eyes started to glow with a hazy golden light. “Sleep…” The mare’s eyes started to flutter close, and the sleeping spell overtook her. It pained Celestia emotionally that she had to use a spell she learnt from her sister, but she needed information and to keep Miss bad life choices out of her hair. Celestia placed her safely in a trash bin and closed the lid before heading down the alley she pointed at. True to the harlot’s word, there was Discord’s box, sitting in a small puddle of garbage water and covered in popcorn.
Now that she found the box, she needed to think of what to say. A quick ‘I’m sorry’ probably wouldn’t cut it… “Blast it all,” she muttered. This was going to harder than she thought. The young princess gave a heavy sigh as she approached the box. She didn’t see a doorbell or anything to alert him, so she just nudged the box a bit with her hoof. “Hey Discord? Are you there?” She asked. Maybe he wasn’t home… or maybe this was just a normal box. Now she felt like an idiot, and she couldn’t press that mare since she was asleep, and the only thing that could undo the sleeping spell was sunlight, and it was far from the proper morning time. It looked like she was back to square one.
Or at least that what she thought before she heard the rummaging in the trashcan next to her. The tin lid popped off and span in the air, landing and rolling away in a clunk as Discord slumped on the side, chewing on what looked to be day-old bread. The two stared at one another, the distant, deadpanned look the draconequus gave Celestia showed that he was still angry about what happened earlier, and even his chewing seemed to mock her with each slimy crunch of the bread.
She supposed it was up to her to break the ice. “Hello, Discord…” she said, trying her best to smile, but the corners of her cheeks seemed to have gained mountains of weight, and she was either unable or unwilling to make a sincere smile, despite really wanting to. All she could do was try to avoid too much eye contact and get through this. “Look, I know you don’t want to see me right now…”
“Understatement of the year,” Discord droned. “Did you come here to mock me, princess? How did you even find my box?”
“The hooker told me.”
“The hooker?” He asked, looking puzzled before gasping, “Court la Sun… dang, this is the fourth time a hooker has screwed me over.”
Celestia stared at him with ghastly awe, not able to even begin comprehending what he was saying. Personally she would rather not know. “Look, it doesn’t matter,” she shook. “She told me because I needed to find you because I wanted to tell you something…”
“Oh, really?!” Discord laughed, rolling his eyes and resuming back to his judgmental stare. “That’s a laugh, what are you going to say? More insults? Because Celestia, I’ve heard them all. Crackpot, weirdo, quadruple breed, monster, freak,” he took a deep breath. “Fake, accident, freak of nature, side show attraction… and that’s just the tip of the iceberg sweetheart!” He started to get a little angry and his tone grew more hostile. “But please, you’re a princess! I’m sure you could top all of that! You could even hire somepony to do it for you, couldn’t you? So please princess, I’m sitting on pins and needles on what you’re about to say. Who knows? Maybe it’ll catch on and—“
“I’m sorry!” Celestia screamed with a shrilled yell. “Okay? That’s what I wanted to say!”
There was dead silence in the alleyway; even the leaking drainpipes seemed to stop dripping at that moment. Discord once again found himself at a loss for words as he stared at the panting princess. It looked like saying those two words had really taken her out of it, and she looked like she would pass out, but still she continued.
“Look,” she said, taking another big breath. “I messed up… and normally when I do that, I just blow it off and just forget about it, because you know, who the heck cares, right? But with you… I…” She bit her lips, she didn’t want to tell him about her pain and mourning over this situation, he’d probably get the wrong idea. She instead just spat the first thing that came to her mind. “I just didn’t feel right leaving it off like that. You did something nice for me, and in return I treated you like horse droppings, so… I’m just really, really, really sorry for calling you those things.” She gave him starry doe eyes, hoping that it would be enough for him to accept her apology because she couldn’t mentally take much more of this.
Discord looked quizzically at the young mare. Tilting his head as he lost himself to a deep thought, she really looked like she was sorry and he was grateful; and quite surprised, that it seemed meaningful and sincere. “Hmm… I don’t know,” he pondered. “I mean, you seem like you’re sorry but like you said, you’re the kind of girl that just sort of blows this kind of stuff off.”
“Yeah, and here I am standing in the middle of a dark alley, in the middle of the night, having broken goddess knows how many of my mother’s rules and even incapacitated a courtesan all to just tell you that I’m sorry. And guess what Discord, I don’t do that. Ever.” Celestia really tried to stress that last part. “So will you please just accept my apology, I want to go home!”
“Oh, I already accepted your apology,” beamed Discord. “I just wanted to make you squirm a little more. You’re adorable when you’re frustrated; your cheeks turn the cutest shade of red.”
Her face turning said colour of red, she flicked her mane in front of her face to cover her blush. “Ye-yeah, well, you’re still a bit of a jerk you know… but I guess we could still… I don’t know… hang out sometime?”
“Like a date?”
“Not like a date!” She snapped. “I can’t stress that part enough! This is just you and me, maybe walking around town or the castle doing… whatever it is ponies my age are supposed to do and nothing else. So get any sort of romantic thoughts out of your head, okay buddy.”
Discord snickered. “Ha, you called me your buddy.”
“Are you four?!” Celestia twitched. “You’re so—do not go there, Tia… Do not let him get under your fur… he sort of is your friend. Your moronic friend that drives you to the brink of insanity, but maybe he’ll… grow on you.”
“Hey, Tia,” Discord whispered, intervening her conversation with herself. “I can’t remember if I told you this yet but talking to yourself makes you seem crazy. And you’re starting to make me a little uncomfortable.” He leaned deep into his face, staring crossed eyed into hers. They’re lips mere inches apart. “Maybe we should kiss to break the tension.”
“Don’t push it, Discord,” the princess droned, pushing his face off of his. “So, we’re cool?”
“Like an ice cream cone dipped in the backside of the pillow,” the draconequus laughed. “Shoved up a yeti’s backside and glazed with snow. Yeah, we’re cool.” He soon slithered off back into his box, peaking up for one moment and grinning back at her. “You know, I was really wrong with you, this is going to be fun! I’ll be seeing you soon, sunny butt!” With that, he leapt into his box, diving head first into it as if it was a swimming pool and disappeared.
Celestia let out a groan as she turned around and started heading home. Tonight had been absolutely exhausting, and she just wanted to fall asleep for the rest of her life. Thankfully, the walk home was quite uneventful, and she soon found her self ascending to her room and carefully crawling through her open window. When she leapt into bed, she fell asleep almost immediately.
It was off to dreamland for her.
*****
In her dreams, Celestia found herself walking down a strange dark path, not particularly sure what they were or how she got here. However, at the end of the passage way there was a lone, wooden door. There wasn’t anything remarkable about it, it was the same type of door that you would find as a front door for a cottage, but the need for it seemed unnecessary. After all, there were no walls, or separate room it could possibly lead to, but there it still stood, almost begging to be opened, and the princess did just that, lightly pushing it open and a bright orange light peeking through the crack. It was almost as blinding as the sun, and she couldn’t bear to look at it, so she closed her eyes and opened the rest of the door, with the light burning through her eyelids till all she could see what red, a brilliant bright shade of crimson that stained the inside of her eyes, she didn’t dare open them for fear of going blind as she stepped through the door and fell…
Right out of her bed.
Her saggy bagged eyes flickered open, barely able to lift themselves to see that she just had a strange dream. The light had probably just been from the open window and the sun shining in her eyes while she slept, and she must have rolled to get away from it. Part of her wanted to roll back into bed and go back to sleep, but she knew her mother would turn up the sun a bit if she was tardy, so she got herself ready for the daily grind, applying makeup where appropriate, getting her hair readied and presentable, and of course making sure her coat was free of any up-pushed fur before heading out of her room and into the kitchen, where her mother and Luna were already eating some toast.
“Good morning, my daughter,” Faust said, simultaneously levitating some toast, a scroll, and a quill all at once. “How are you this morning? I trust that you managed to get some sleep.”
“Hardly,” she grumbled, taking a seat next to Luna. “Morning nerd, you got some toast stuck in your braces.”
“Bite me,” yawned her little blue sister. She tried to not let Celestia get to her, but she couldn’t help looking at her teeth with the help of silver spoon. To her surprise, there was a large hunk of brown crust stuck in her wiring, and she immediately shut her mouth, flushing a little red with embarrassment. “Oh… I was going to clean them out anyways.” She got up from the table and almost galloped out of the kitchen.
Her mother barely seemed to noticed, and turned her attention to Celestia. “Eat quickly; you have a lesson in a few minutes, and I have a busy schedule today. So there’s no time for your usually heavy hoofness.”
“Like there’s ever any time,” Celestia muttered under her breath. She quickly picked up an orange and started to peel it, eating the sweet fruit before getting walking away from the table. “Let’s just get this over with. I want to take a nap anyways.”
A normal mother would have growled at her comment, but Faust simply ignored her daughter’s snarky attitude and followed her out of the room and into the courtyard where they did most of her lessons. Celestia took a seat on her cushion and slumped into herself. It would be a long battle to keep herself awake for the next couple of hours as she learned all the fascinating things about the sun, the moon and all the other things she couldn’t care about. Her minds were in the daisies.
He came back into her mind, that rather annoying draconequus Discord. Why was it that she kept thinking about him whenever she was numbed with the bores? Was it because he was like a jigsaw puzzle, and she wanted to put his mystery together? No, it couldn’t be that, because puzzles were stupid. Luna and other nerds like puzzles. Maybe it was because he was different, and then there was that sense of freedom, no chains or prewritten fate to guide him, an unspoken destiny that deep in her conscious she craved, not having to do what her cutie mark told her to do, put to do whatever it was she wanted to do.
That trail of thought that managed to kill a bit of time, but it was back to the ramblings of a goddess.
“And then, your sister will raise the moon as you lower the sun. Of course you must be careful to keep a schedule, and not allow the sun to rise earlier than it should, or heaven forbid later. Then there is the matter of daylight saving, where you’ll have to raise the sun later and set it earlier, which I’d imagine you’ll just adore. Are you getting all of this, Celestia?”
“Hmm?” Celestia wondered, shaking out of her midday daze. “Oh, yeah, it’s all being written down in my head. I’ve heard every wonderful detail about… sun raising, because I’ve only ever been given this same damn lecture once a month!”
There was a magical snap as a slab of metal seemed to form around her mouth, locking her jaw in place and effectively silencing her. Queen Faust looked quite displeased and shook her head in shame. “Watch your language, Celestia. That is not the way a princess should speak.”
Celestia tried to shout out several other nasty things, but the metal over her mouth censored each vulgar comment. It took Celestia a few minutes to finally rip the metal slab off her lips. “What was that for?! I can’t curse; I can’t choose what I want to do in life? Am I a princess or a prisoner?” Her mother remained silent, only speaking again when she returned to her lecture. “That’s what I thought,” she grumbled, staring a deadpanned stare at her mother. “This is so stupid…”
Suddenly, something rather interesting happened. From within the trees, Celestia noticed something slithering in the leaves, like a snake, but far too big to be anything local. The young princess’s gaze fell to the surrounding treeline and followed whatever it was that was moving. It weaved in between the branches until it got directly behind Faust’s back. Discord’s head popped out from the leaves of the trees and he waved childishly at her, mouthing ‘hello’ as quietly as he could as to not disturb Celestia’s mother’s lecture.
The young sun princess looked quizzically at the draconequus. What was he doing here? Certainly nothing good, she imagined. She tried her best to ignore him, but when the alternative was paying attention to the lesson her mother was giving her, it seemed quite obvious which thing was going to dominate her attention. Celestia’s eyes slightly glanced over to Discord, who had gotten himself comfortable in the trees, making a hammock out of their leaves while he wrote on something; she had no idea where he got the paper from.
With a few scribbles, Discord finished what he was writing and held it up high for her to see. It read ‘What’cha doing?’ in big red letters. The princess gave him a deadpan glare, it’s not like she could respond to him without alerting her mother. So she hoped her stare would be enough to convey her point.
Thankfully, Discord seemed better at reading faces then she thought, and was soon writing something else down on his giant notepad. ‘Boring schoolwork, huh?’ was what the next page asked. And she gave him a subtle nod in response. ‘So when are you free? I’m bored and need your help with something.’
She shrugged a little, then getting an idea. “Mom, when is this lesson going to be over?” She asked callously. “I feel my brain turning to mush from the boredom.”
“You know we still have three more subjects to cover before lunch, and then two more after,” her mother said. “Also, can you please tell Discord to stop distracting you? If you two desire to spend time together, you can do it after, and only after your lessons are finished.” The amber-mane queen turned around, staring at the stunned draconequus. “As for you… I will have to ask you to leave until we’re finished. Celestia’s mind wanders enough without your encouragement.”
“S-sorry, your majesty,” Discord gulped, slithering down the tree trunk and bowing down to the pony queen. “Didn’t realize Tia was doing her ABC’s and 123’s, I’ll bug her later.” As he left, he made sure to walk right next to Celestia, leaning into her ear and whispering, “You’re right, she’s a total butt. See you later.” Before heading out of the garden and back into town.”
Celestia found something strange building up in her stomach. It was a strange but familiar sensation, one that would rummage up her throat and infect her lips to curl up with delight, followed by an involuntary hiccup of laughter. For the first time in her life, Discord had said something that made her laugh.
Her mother took notice of this, and slightly raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “What’s so funny?”
“Oh, just a little joke,” Celestia said, beaming at her mother with an overly happy smile. “Butt it’s nothing you need to worry about.”
”In one day, you went from making me frown to making me smile, Discord, and it wouldn’t be the only time either. You would plague my days with wonderful smiles and more laughter, you would make me feel happy and normal, and not like a dog on a leash as I had presumed my mother had tried to mold me too become…
But as you turned my frowns into smiles, I was doomed to turn your smiles into frowns.