//------------------------------// // Time to go to Ponyville! // Story: Screw the rules we're on a road trip. // by Ssendam the Masked //------------------------------// Yoshimitsu's P.O.V, present day. I grabbed the map that the unicorns had left, examining it. "Right, sempai, where do we go first?" I hmmed, tapping the map. A thousand and fifty years ago, Ponykind had only inhabited or lived right next to the forest. Then Tobi and I came and fucked shit up. Well, made it so that they had to finally spread out amongst the plains of Equestria. Maybe we made the castle of the Pony Sisters harder to reach, and maybe we accidentally caused the Everfree Forest to grow gigantic, but that was in self defence. But enough about the past, road trip! I snagged a donut and chewed it, savouring the flavour. "Shit, that guy makes good donuts." Tobi nodded, cheeks filled with delectable pastry. "You're probably going to choke yourself, you know that?" Tobi shook his head. I sighed. Leave it to me to be the more rational of our little pair. Someone had to be- even though I was enjoying the pretty colours that occasionally flashed through my mouth, I was supposedly the saner one. I pondered over everything, and pointed at a destination. "How about this 'Ponyville,' then?" Tobi looked at it. "Think it's like Ponyham?" "God I hope not." Couldn't find Ponyham on the map, but I had a sneaking suspicion that this 'Ponyville Lake' was one of my creations. Ah well, sometimes you have to own up to mistakes. "Sempai, I'm bored." "So am I." "Sempai." "Yes?" "Want to sing a song?" "Sure, why not?" With that, we started to sing: Tobi's P.O.v, 1,050 years ago. We rounded a corner and sprinted on, a blast of yellow magic tearing through a wall. "STAND THY GROUND, KNAVES!" Wow, Mighty Whitey was pissed. Beside me, I got the feeling that Josh was glaring at me. "What? This isn't my fault." "Right, clapping your hands together, which previously PRACTICALLY DESTROYED A VILLAGE, in the presence of Inspector Lestrade himself, wasn't your fault." I started sobbing in fear as I heard the beating of mighty wings get closer. "I'm SOR-REE-HEE-HEE!" Behind us, we heard another zap sound, and I blinked as a blast just phased through me harmlessly. "You'd think they'd learn to stop doing that." I heard Josh mutter. I was busy running like all hell. I spotted a staircase and, not caring for breaking my legs, quickly jumped down without a thought. I screamed, before remembering that I could just phase through objects. With that, I quickly sank through the floor, disappearing without a trace. Yoshimitsu's P.O.V, 1,050 years ago. I facepalmed as Toby just jumped off a stairwell. Honestly, they weren't that scary- I looked behind me and recalculated that. The white one was the very picture of rage, sizzling yellow energy gathering in a corona around her horn. "At last, knave, thou hast reached the end of the line. Now, stand right there, and thy death shall be quick and without pain." In response, I flipped her the bird and jumped. God I hope this works. I gripped my sword in my left hand, and spun it like a little helicopter. It seemed to be working- at least I was slowing down a bit. I spun it harder. I was pretty terrified. If I broke my legs, then I was a sitting duck for them. Success. I was flying under my own power, robotic arm supporting my full body weight. The Princesses were just looking at me. I thumbed my nose at them and fell the last couple of feet, rolling away from a stray blast. I gripped my sword. "Hate to do this, but I need to counterattack now." With that, my sword glowed green in agreement. I swung it in their general direction, watching them teleport out of the way. The blast- a comparatively minor one- scythed through the wall of the castle, leaving a nice little window for them. It was enough. With that, I scrambled away, running as fast as I could in the opposite direction. Then, the ground beneath me collapsed. I screamed as I plummeted through the darkness, about to spin my sword again before I felt something cushion me. It felt like... a tree? I checked my mysterious rescuer. Yep, definitely a tree. "I got you, man!" Oh, it was just Toby. Sticking myself to the tree, I ran down it. "Man, you gotta check this out." I followed his pointing finger. In the chamber with us was a gigantic tree, seemingly made of one piece of flawless amethyst. I gazed at it, spellbound. Toby chuckled. "Beautiful, isn't it?" I nodded dumbly. Something about this tree seemed a bit... off. I mean, really, this tree was giving me a bad vibe. Beautiful, but dangerous, and exceedingly powerful. This was NOT something we should mess with. I shook myself. Knowing our luck... Speaking of our luck, I was reminded that I really, really needed to piss. "Tobi, I need to go to the toilet." "Aw! Dude, really?" I nodded, already looking for a suitable place to piss. The wall? No, too much like a hobo. That only left... I stared at the giant gemstone and gulped. "Well, call of nature and all that." I nervously approached the tree, emboldened by my full bladder. I saw that there were marks on the tree- odd. Still, the Call of Nature waits for no man, and I felt the pressure mounting. With that, I unzipped my fly. You know, there is no feeling quite like having a long-awaited piss. I sighed in blissful release, sprinkling the crystalline surface with my bodily fluids. "Oh man, feels good..." "Uh, dude? Dude?" "What is it?" I turned around, finished sprinkling the crystalline onion. Then, I froze. Standing there, frozen with shock, were Mighty Whitey and Big Blue. I gulped. "It's not what it looks like. Trust me." Still frozen. Then, their eyes glowed white. Five minutes later, and we were running even more frantically. Beside me, Tobi looked at me smugly. "I'm not the only one now, am I?" "Shut up and keep running!" "Thou villains! Thou hast desecrated the Tree of Harmony with thine urine! STAND STILL FOR OUR JUDGEMENT!" Crap, Big Blue was pissed off even more than her sister. "RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Oh, wait, no. At least Big Blue was still articulate, not a screaming ball of white hot wrath. Eventually, we found a wall. Not even hesitating, I blasted it, cutting a freedom hole through to the outside forest. We jumped through, running off into the forest. Celestia's P.O.V, present Day. "...and that's when we were wholly convinced that they meant ill." Twilight looked a little ill, and honestly, looking at myself I couldn't blame her. Still, it needed to be said. I laughed bitterly. "I tried to free them later, about five hundred years ago. No luck; it was only then that I truly realised that my bond with the Elements of Harmony had shattered when I turned on my own sister. Before then, I was convoked that their not responding to me was just their way, but I do not know why they did not respond to me. Maybe they took personal offence to their progenitor being urinated on, I do not know. All I know is that I have done them an immense disservice." I bowed my head in shame. Twilight looked at me, then hugged. How ironic, I mused, that it is Twilight comforting me, not the other way around. I just hugged her for a few more seconds, then broke. "This is my mistake, and I intend to find them and apologise for my actions." With that, I soared off. I closed my eyes, trying to find them. "Sister." I turned to Luna. She looked guilty as well. "Thou needst not take this burden alone. We- we mean, I- am just as guilty as you." "Luna-" She held up a hoof. "Save your breath, Tia. I can help you find them." She closed her eyes, and dropped onto a cloud. She focused, the glow of her horn growing brighter and brighter. Then, she opened her eyes. "What is this?" Tobi's P.O.V, Present Day. I started up as I felt somebody scrying on us. That's the great thing about the Sharingan- somehow, you can see magic with it. Scrying spells were easier then pie to spot with my special eyes. I nudged Yoshimitsu. "Yoshimitsu, we're being scried on." Yoshimitsu nodded. "Shall we?" "Yes." With that, we stopped our car and stared at our target creepily. Once you know how to look at it, you realise that a basic scrying spell is a two-sided mirror; anybody with a Sharingan could just look in. Luna's P.O.V, Present Day. I rubbed my eyes to make sure that I wasn't seeing this. No, I was. Tobi and Yoshimitsu were... looking at me, somehow. Not just looking at the scrying spell, but at the cloud that I was using to spy on them. How could they even detect it? "Hey, Princess, want to see a real show?" Before I could stop the scrying spell, he flashed through a couple of signs, and then... A most bizarre image appeared in the screen. I just stared. "What is this?" Beside me, Tia looked just as confused. Then, she face hoofed. "Did you forget about their strange tendency to be able to detect scrying?" I nodded mutely. A thousand years means that you can forget a lot as well. "It matters not. We must find those ruffians!" Tia nodded, distractedly. "Yes..." I turned. "Not to capture, but to talk." "I know that." Nodding, we sped off, intent on at least trying to talk with these humans. Yoshimitsu's P.O.V, Present Day. I laughed myself heartily sick as the scrying portal closed shut with a snap. "That's what you get," I said in a Southern drawl. Beside me, Tobi giggled like a schoolgirl. "We got them good, didn't we Sempai?" "Yes. You did well, my kohai." Tobi basked in praise. I restarted the engine with a hand-slam of magic, feeling the power flow through me. "Let's go clubbing." Tobi's P.O.V, 1,050 years ago. We'd been running for about half an hour now, and our bodies were complaining. Eventually, we arrived in a clearing. I leant against a tree, panting like a dog, while Josh just collapsed inelegantly. "That was terrifying." I glared at Josh. "Dude, why did you have to go and do that, man?" He waved his hands defensively. "Hey, don't go pinning this on me mate-" I interrupted him, my eyes spinning around. "We MIGHT have been able to talk to them, had you not FUCKING PISSED ON THAT TREE THING!" Josh balked, then glared back. "Oh yeah? Need I remind you that the only reason we are in this situation at all is because of your habit of CLAPPING YOUR HANDS TOGETHER?!" "WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE CHASM YOU CARVED, EH?! WHAT ABOUT THAT?!" By now, we were at each others' throats. I pulled out one of my prop kunai, now a lethally sharp instrument, while he held out his bigger sword. Tempers were running high at that moment, and we were prepared to kill each other if that meant peace. Just then, a gigantic bear made of stars appeared, glaring at us. We froze in position, like a poorly trained actor with stage fright. It looked pretty surreal- me with a knife in my hand, Josh with his sword, and the bear just looking SUPER pissed off. Anxious to not die, I tried talking to it. "We didn't mean to disturb you, good sir!" I waved nervously at the giant bear. It regarded me with a curious air, then snorted and tromped off. I stared at him. "Were we not important enough for it to bother killing? I'm almost offended by that." Josh snorted, lowering his sword. "Okay, we're both responsible, how about that?" I nodded. "Yeah, we're both responsible, Sempai." I said it as a joke, but he laughed. Now that we were friends again, we shook hands, sealing our friendship forever more.