"We were decided as the opening act months ago! You can't just do this to us. We're the Wonderbolts!" shouted Spitfire.
"You can't compete in the games and be part of the opening ceremony! The rulebook says that no member of the staff may compete in the Equestria Games proper. And do not presume to tell me what I can and can't do! I am the assigned Games Inspector and I will decide who has the right to be in the opening ceremony!" snapped Ms. Harshwhinny, equal parts bitterness and self-righteousness.
"Be silent."
"We had to cancel our other gigs in order to be there to do the ceremony! This is how we make our living! You can't tell us we need to come and do a show and then have us cancel at the last minute!" Spitfire stamped her hoof on the Throne Room floor.
"It's not at the last minute! The Games are not for another few months! And rules are rules. No member of the staff may participate in the games themselves!" Harshwhinney was not giving an inch. She puffed out her chest and stepped forward to face the Wonderbolts captain.
"Be silent."
"We're not a member of the staff! We're part of the opening ceremony! That rule is to protect against objectivity being compromised: like if the adjudicator decides that he wants to compete and then adjudicates in favour of himself or something like that! We're not gonna cheat by being competitors and being in the opening ceremony! If anything we'll be at a disadvantage 'cos we'll be tired after the ceremony!" Spitfire growled.
"Miss Spitfire you have been utterly unco-operative about this since day one. One minor change to the schedule and you fly completely off the handle. And no, the rule does not specifically have to do with objectivity! It also has to do with cases where-"
"BE SILENT! I AM TRYING TO THINK!"
My voice shut them both up. The echoes resounded throughout the castle. I rose from my throne. Shooting a stabbing glare at both of them as I stepped menacingly down the stairs that lead up to the raised platform on which my throne sat.
Raven was cringing behind a nearby pillar. She had warned the two of them that I was in a bad mood. They had ignored her at their own peril.
The gears of my mind turned as I glared stormily down at them.
The solution was obvious, wasn't it?
Ditzy was a forgiving and understanding mare. All I need do is write her a letter, to show I respect her desire not to speak to me, and say that I only did what I did because Dinky sent me hate-mail and I felt that the best way to patch things up with her was to get to know her a little better.
No.
I need to admit that what I did was dishonest. I need to promise that I won't expose her to any more of my crazy schemes.
No.
I need to swear that I will never do anything like that again. She will come back to me. I can tell when somepony cares deeply about another and I know she cares about me.
No.
I need to apologize. That's all. Apologize.
"NO! I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE! I HATE APOLOGIZING! I HATE BEING APOLOGIZED TO! I HATE EVERY STUPID, SELF-DEPRICATING SECOND OF IT!" I roared as spider web cracks spread across the stained glass windows of the throne room from the sheer force of my magical potential resonating throughout the castle.
"Oh! Was it an inconvenience for her to journey out of her way to see me at the palace every day? Was that too much to ask? Too much trouble?" I snarled as I stalked my way around the trembling duo.
"I FOUNDED THE DAMN EQUESTRIAN POSTAL SERVICE! SHE WOULDN'T HAVE A JOB IF IT WASN'T FOR ME! IN FACT, THERE WOULDN'T BE AN EQUESTRIA AT ALL IF IT WASN'T FOR ME!" Guards burst into the throne room, weapons drawn, ready for battle.
"Your Majesty? Is something wrong? We heard shouting! Is the castle under attack?" cried the Captain of the second battalion.
"SHUT UP! THERE WOULDN'T BE A CASTLE IF IT WASN'T FOR ME!" I bellowed, "Do you have any idea? Do any of you have even the smallest inkling of how much I sacrificed for this nation?"
Every pony in the throne room stared blankly back at me.
"I bled for you. I bled for each and every one of you. And I forced others to bleed for you too. A million rough stallions marched their way through a thousand bloody battles into muddy and shallow graves for us to have gotten this far. And I lead them every step of the way. I brought every tribespony from the Frozen North to the Blistering South to found this land under the banner of unity. My banner! And when each greedy politician, warmongering general or fearful aristocrat refused to accept peace then I brought them war unimaginable. I waded knee deep through gore and carnage the likes of which you cannot imagine. And for what? To be snubbed by some mailmare and her cub? NO! I did it so that each and every citizen could live in a wondrous utopia. Free from war, from bloodshed, from chaos," I ascended the steps to the throne and turned to face the gawping mass that now crowded the throne room.
"I threw my own dear sister to the wolves so that you could all bask in the sun! And what do I get in return? Snivelling, whining, begging at every misstep. Not a single friendly word, or a hoof on my shoulder when I'm feeling down. Not a single 'Celestia, you're looking beautiful today' or 'Have you been feeling okay?'. And I decide that just this once, heaven forbid, maybe I'd like to take some time off with a nice young mare. Enjoy a bit of R&R, be a little selfish just this once. A kiss on the cheek, a gentle cuddle, that's all I wanted! Some small affection," I drew a sharp and bitter tasting breath, "And she has the audacity to turn me down. Me! I deserve to have whichever mare I so please!"
Silence fell over the small crowd as my voice resounded through the hall. My face felt unbelievably hot. I was on the brink of crying but I forced back the tears through strength of will.
"She doesn't like the scheming? My strategies for romance? She thinks I'm too calculating for her tastes? Well, her tastes be damned! I raise the sun! I clung to this throne for a thousand years by out scheming even the sneakiest of adversaries. Deception is a part of who I am. It would be a waste of time for me to lie to her and say that I was going to be more honest, more straightforward and less under-hooved. Because I have no intention of changing who I am! She will love me for me!"
The time had come for my verdict. Time to throw off the suffocating bonds of Princesshood and pursue that breath of fresh air that I needed so badly. Time to take what I rightfully deserve.
To outdo an adversary this perceptive and alert to deception I would have to come up with a plan so diabolical, so cunning, so devious that even Dastardly Doo himself would splutter and gasp. I am an ends-justify-the-means kind of Princess. Always have been. I did terrible things to craft this nation but now that it has risen it is a place of harmony and joy. When Ditzy understands that my coldest and darkest plans always bring forth light and warmth then and only then she will be mine.
"Raven?"
"Yes!" squeaked the timid unicorn as she stepped forward.
"I name you acting Princess in my stead. Do as you see fit but know that you will endure my wrath upon my return if you abuse your new position," I unceremoniously removed my own crown and plonked it on Raven's trembling head, "I bid the rest of you farewell. I will be gone for some time. I have a mare to conquer."