//------------------------------//
// Well, this is awkward... 
// Story: Happy Birthday Sabre 
// by Slendermare 
//------------------------------//

Sabre needed a plan. A big plan. A CNN would be all over this plan. He decided he would skydive in from above. But, it'd probably be easier if he could just trick her into talking about it. But what if she would do something again soon? He ran to the closet, and pulled out his smallest, but sharpest sword. Only about one foot long, it easy to conceal. He put it in his saddlebag, along with a bottle of poison and a muffin. Then he took out the poison, and looked at it. He put it in the closets top shelf, and walked out of his room. He then walked outdoors, and galloped at a moderate pace. As he neared the place of suspicion, he slowed down. He didn't want to draw too much attention to himself. How would he handle a situation gone bad? hopefully it wouldn't end like Rainbow Factory. He nudged the front store doors open. As he walked in, he heard laughter.
From the basement.
"Why would she tell jokes in the base..." He never finished his thought.
He ran to the door and opened it slowly. Slowly, Sabre descended the stairs downwards, and as he reached the third step from the top, he heard an electrical sounding zap come from below. He ran downstairs, wanting to save whoever was being tortured. As he rounded the corner, he saw Pinkie turn off the machine, which was attached to a young filly, who was strapped to a table. He was awaiting screams of torture. In return, he heard instead;
"So, you didn't feel that?"
"Not at all, miss Pinkie."
Sabre waited there, watching in disgust as Pinkie cut open the filly's abdomen and started by removing the stomach. Then, he was somewhat shocked when Pinkie started making jokes.
"You have to have a 'Stomach', for this job"
"Hahaha! That's hilarious, Pinkie Pie!"
Sabre walked in as Pinkie was about to remove the kidneys.
"What are you doing, Pinkie!?" he yelled.
"Oh, me and Crim here were having some fun." said Pinkie.
"You have to end all of this NOW. And, that doesn't look fun. That looks downright painful. Speaking of which, why isn't Crim here crying and screaming in pain and agony?" asked Sabre.
"Rare disease, I'll explain more later." Said Pinkie, who turned on the electric machine once more, jiggling Crim as electricity pulsed through her small body. Pinkie turned it off when Sabre glared at her, and said,
"You don't have time for later, I'm ending this." As Sabre finished saying this, he lunged at her, his glowing sword emanating from his horn. Pinkie looked to Crim and said,
"Sorry this happened..." As Pinkie Pie said this, her mane and tail deflated, and her cheery pink coat turned slightly dull. 
She turned to her cart, and looked at each piece of equipment quickly, yet carefully, thinking of each tools advantages, and their disadvantages.  Her eyes settled on a familiar cleaver. She grabbed it and blocked Sabre's first blow. She was surprisingly strong, and this was proved quickly when she grabbed Sabre by the throat. She shoved him headfirst to the floor, and raised her cleaver. As she sent her knife sailing down towards his chest, he punched her face. Catching her off guard, she takes this opportunity to roll out from under her, and slashing at her forehooves, making a gash across the left. She lunged at him.
"I was just trying to make some cupcakes!" She then made a gash on his side.
"You turn the ponies into cupcakes!?"
"What else would I use?" She made a jab at his head, but Sabre dodged, cutting he cheek.
"How about, I don't know, flour, eggs, milk, sugar. Normal things!"
"I use those too, silly, but the ponies make them special. I mean, I'm not sure this is even canon. Blame Sergeant Sprinkles." She then slashed at his cutie mark, leaving a gash across it.
"Wait, who?" Sabre bucked her across the room, Pinkie hitting her head on the wall.
Sabre ran over, and using his magicked up battle axe, delivered a final blow to her neck, decapitating the party planner. The filly walked over and poked the head, causing it to fall off the body and roll across the floor.  He then looked over to the filly.
"Umm... Your hooves..."
"Yeah, I know."
"Your organs are kinda..."
"Mmhmm... Im aware."
"Umm... I should probably get some help..." He trailed off.
"Yeah..."
They sat in silence for a moment. Sabre then cleared his throat.
"Well, this is awkward..."