//------------------------------// // Part Three, Chapter Six: All Comes Crashing Down // Story: I just don't know what went right... // by DerpyDitzyDerpyDo //------------------------------// "Celestia?" I kicked free of her grasp and landed on the kitchen floor, stumbling backwards. "Celestia." I stared around wildly, "N-n-no? Y-y-you mean the Princess? W-w-where? What?" all the moisture seemed to have left my mouth. "It is you, isn't it?" Ditzy stepped pointedly forward. Her gaze unfaltering, "Why do you look like that?" "It's not... I have no idea what you mean..." I could taste the milkshake I drank earlier fighting its way up my throat. I swallowed the nausea. Still another hour of youth left. Just make some excuse and leave. It was a mistake to have come here. "Don't lie to me!" Ditzy snapped. I'd never heard her angry before. I'd never even imagined it. It felt so... wrong, "Tell me the truth. That is you, isn't it?" I couldn't shake my head. Neither could I nod. I was paralysed. Caught red-hooved. I should have known. Like mother like daughter. Dinky must have gotten her masterful skill at detecting deceptiveness from somewhere. Had Ditzy seen through me from the start? "There isn't a pony in all of Equestria who smells the way that you do. I'd recognise that smell anywhere. It's not like anything else. What are you doing here?" Ditzy didn't raise her voice but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread, "Why are you disguised as a filly? Why were you hanging around my child? Why have you come into my house disguised as somepony else?" "I..." I glanced at Dinky. She had a stunned kind of 'I-knew-there-was-something-suspicious-going-on-but-this!' look on her face. There were no words. No excuses I could offer. I was hanging around your kid in hopes that I could use her to leverage my way into a relationship with you? Would I be better off not saying a word? Does she think I'm some kind of pervert? Oh please... oh please, no. Anything but that. I have to lie. I have to think of something convincing to weasel my way out of this. "I know that it's you. I was just at the castle in Canterlot. I got back a few minutes ago. You weren't there, Did you use magic to make yourself look like that? Why?" Ditzy's voice was usually a little husky but this was a threatening tone I had not heard before. Never get between an Ursa Major and her cub. Never mess with an Ursa Minor at all because if the mother discovers you near her baby... not even the gates of Tartarus could protect you from her wrath. Say something. Say something! Anything! Think of an excuse! Something she'd believe. You're on a secret mission to protect Dinky from an evil spell. You're scouting for young unicorns with potential to join your magical academy for gifted young unicorns. You wanted to surprise her! You wanted to get an insider's perspective on the Equestrian School System to see if the teachers were up to snuff. Any excuse. Lie to her! Lie to her! Say something to salvage it! I opened my mouth but the words refused to come. I'd lied in front of crowds of thousands. I'd lied to torturers, inquisitors, generals, ambassadors and scores of lovers over the course of two millennia. Why couldn't I lie now? Why can't I find the words to diffuse this? To fix it? "I think you'd better leave. Now," I felt a wave of relief wash over me. Anything to get out of here. Just leave. Just let me leave. But... what about... us? I didn't have long to contemplate this. Ditzy picked me up by the scruff of my neck and carried me briskly out the kitchen, through the living room and out the front door. Dropping me on the doorstep. I peered fearfully over my shoulder at her. A scared little filly both inside and out. "Tell me," said Ditzy, glaring down at me, "I've been delivering pamphlets and newspapers from Ponyville to you for the past two days. Did you order all that stuff to be delivered to the castle just because you wanted to lure me over to Canterlot?" I paused for a long moment. Unable to raise my eyes to look at her. Eventually I nodded. "So you would have had me fly all the way over there every day, interrupting my work and my delivery schedule, wasting hours of my time, making me get home late, even though you knew how easy it is for me to get lost in big cities, just because you felt like you wanted to see me?" she hissed. I felt guilt pierce me like a hundred arrows. "I...I never meant to..." I am pathetic. I hate myself. So... so much. "I'll cancel your subscriptions to the local paper and your requests for Mr Breezy's pamphlets then... since you didn't actually care about them to begin with," Ditzy turned and walked back inside, "I think it's better if we don't talk to each other again." The door slammed in my face. She didn't even... look back. I dragged myself to my hooves. I felt... gutted. I don't think I've ever been so ashamed. All my schemes unravelled around me. The door creaked open again. I snapped rigidly upright as Dinky walked out. "Hey, Princess? I forgot something important," she said, "I did promise that I would do this in my letter to you and I usually keep my promises." She turned around and bucked me in the shin as hard as she could. Pain coursed through me. I'd forgotten that it was possible for me to feel pain in my youthful state. It was a welcome relief from the agony inside me, to be honest. I crumpled into a heap once more. Dinky hopped back up the steps, slipped into the cottage and slammed the door a second time. I heard her say, "I told you she was a bad influence..." as she walked away from the door. The rest was too muffled to make out. Was Ditzy crying? I didn't wait around to find out. Nothing else eventful happened to me during the long trudge back to the castle. Nothing. Except that a bird defecated on my head as I walked back through the gates of Canterlot.