For the record, I am doing this entire story off the seat of my pants (meaning if it comes to mind, I write it with regret coming to me AFTER I publish the chapter, dood. I am a dumb ass that way, dood.
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"So, you guys are called prinnies, that are here to serve me?" The best pony asked, dood.
"Correct, as I have already given myself a name twice,dood, I'll introduce the other 4 for you benefit, The Brown one is Golden Shower-"
"Thats a odd name for a brown prinny, I assume." Twilight asked in a quizzical way, dood.
Golden Shower simplied sighed. "I got that name under odd circumstances, dood."
"Can't you change your name?" The lavender mare asked, she looked pretty thoughtful for someone that should be laughing at such a silly name, dood.
Golden Shower looked like he's gonna cry, dood. "I've tried, dood, the guys incharge of renaming were usually too busy laughing at me."
"Well, how about I give you a new name, since you all seem dead set on me becoming your new master." Twilight asked.
"Are you serious, dood?" Golden Shower ask, with hope in his eyes.
"How about Chocolate, since your a brown prinny and all," Best Pony suggested.
Golden Shower cried again, dood. He needs to stop, seriously. He turned to face us prinnies and yelled "I will beat you guys with whatever I find if I am addressed as Golden Shower again, my name is Chocolate, dood, CHOCOLATE!"
"I think he likes the name Lady Sparkle." I said, After being surprised by Gold-I mean, Chocolate's remark, she smiled.
"Happy to help, my prinnies." That sentence melted my black heart, dood, and I think it had the same effect on my comrades in pony-arms.
"As I was saying, dood, this blue prinny with the hazard sign stitched to his back, is called Mr. Kamikaze, he is a masochist." I explained, dood.
Twilight frowned at my intro for my blue friend. "Masochist? As in he likes pain?"
I chuckle a little, in hopes no one noticed, "Actually he liked getting killed, but he can't do that now cause if he dies, he'll be sent back to the Netherworld to be reincarnated, dood." As I finish my explanation, doom filled the eyes of Mr. Kamikaze, he can't die, dood? If he does, he'll return to that crap box of forced-servitude again.
"I can't die? No one pick me up, I don't wanna die, please don't throw me, DOOOOOOD!" Mr. Kamikaze cried, panicking, dood.
Twilight backed up a bit, dood. "What does he mean don't throw me and don't pick him up?" I started to sweat, If Twilight finds out that prinnies explode when thrown, she may use that as capital punishment, dood, my mind goes off to imaginationland's evil brother, Bad Possibilities City. "Fusion Fool the Third, you spilled my tea, time to receive punishment" the Imaginary Twilight in my mind said, as she picked me up and threw me into town square where I exploded, and died, dood.
"Prinny Rule Number 2, dood: Prinnies will explode when thrown or mishandled, dood." said Super Pal. This is it, we are now officially one stained floor away from the Netherworld, dood.
"That's awful, why would anyone make their servants explode?" Twilight asked, that killed off whatever thought of her using that against us, but probably spawned a few prinny based sessions of "Experiments of Twilight Sparkle" where she WANTS to find out how we explode. "Well then, I'll make sure all the ponies know not to pick you guys up and toss you." said Lady Sparkle with a smile, dood.
We are infinitely safe here, dood. "You mean, you won't pick us up with your telepathy and throw us in case we spill your tea or scuff a book, dood?" I asked in a worried tone, dood..
"Throwing you is pretty much murder, so I don't see why I should do that for some petty accidents." Her answer made us all breath a sigh of relief, dood.
"Back to the intros, This yellow prinny here is Master Cupcake, dood. He was employed by a real tyrant of a person earlier, she made him make cupcakes forever, dood. But he escaped and joined us in Hades." Master Cupcakes was still in awe of being in Lady Sparkle's presence, dood.
"Wow, that sounds awful, I don't want to sound rude, but if you want to make cupcakes for fun, Master Cupcakes, I'm sure Pinkie Pie will love to have you help her." Twilight said, I now wonder how many tears a prinny has in them, since Master Cupcakes started crying in joy again, dood.
"The final one of us is Super Pal, He is the purple prinny that likes to party hard, dood, the more alcohol, the better." As I finish, Super Pal, puff's his chest out in pride, dood.
Twilight thinks for a second then answers "I am not sure if Pinkie spikes the punch, but Applejack's cider has some alcohol in it if you are interested." I must admit, I didn't think ponies could drink booze, dood, But at least Super Pal seems okay with it.
"OK, I heard one of you say something about rules, can one of you clarify?" Twilight said. I didn't like this part at all, dood, sort of wanted to make our own rules.
"Prinny Rule Number 1: We must always say 'dood' in our lines." said Super Pal, dood.
"Is that why all of you say dood at random points in your sentences?" Twilight asked, dood.
"Yes sir, dood" proclaimed Master Cupcake, "You already heard of Prinny Rule Number 2, so Prinny Rule Number 3 is we must always be paid at least one sardine for 20 hours of labour, dood."
Twilight looked shocked, "one measly sardine for 20 hours of work? that's cruel, but I don't want to break the rules, is there a rule about you guys getting a cupcake or two for less extent of time?" Our eyes went wide at this, our lady was going to up our pay, dood? We couldn't cry anymore, Super Pal was trying to make himself shed more tears after everything that has happened today, dood.
"It is possible, dood." said Mr. Kamikaze, there was no rule against it, and the sound of being payed anything more than a sardine was awesome in my books, dood.
"But I'll get to that later, so, what are the other rules?" Twilight asked with a lot of curiosity in her tone.
"Prinny Rule Number 4 is that we can never slack off, or else we are punished by doing chores of a lesser leveled prinny, dood." Super Pal, said. "Prinny Rule Number 5 is that we must never question our master in anyway shape or form, and finally Prinny Rule Number 6 is that we must never make our Master wait."
Twilight thought about this for a moment, dood. "Those last 3 rules were rather fair considering it is a job, what pony would want someone slacking off on them? So what are prinnies? Are they just large blue penguins or is there something else I need to know?" inquired Twilight, dood.
"Nope, that's all we are, just blue penguins, dood" I said in a instant, dood.
Twilight frowned at this answer, "are you sure, you guys look like you were stitched together, like a monster of sorts." I had to say something quick, dood.
"That is just for show, dood, nothing weird about that." I think I sated her curiosity, but the whole 'human criminal forced into servitude to pay for their sins' is a bit farfetched for her to figure out by herself, dood.
"Ok, back to that third rule, how about I give you guys a apple and a cupcake for 4 hours of work as well as the sardine?" Twilight bargained, what prinny would refuse this offer, dood?
All of us looked at each other and it was official "We accept, you can have us do anything, dood!" we all said at once. "We'll even continue to follow you to hell for that kind of pay raise, dood." said Mr. Kamikaze, dood.
"Then I pinkie promise to help you guys out, cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my ey-ouch." The Pinkie Promise, dood. It is official, not even Lord Valvatorez can drag us back now if we tell him about the Pinkie Promise.
I thought I was out of Manly tears, I was wrong.
Fusion Fool: Something sinister is happening at Sweet Apple Acres, dood.
Twilight Sparkle: Great, what is it now?
Applejack: Hold up, whats happening at my farm?
Fusion Fool: The Mac Attack has gone berserk. He is now after Rarity, who will save her, dood?
Rarity: Mac Attack? Why would Big Mcintosh attack me?
Fusion Fool: Inter-dimensional Super Hero Twilight Sparkle will swoop in and save Rarity from a cruel fate that visited the Crusaders, dood.
Twilight: Hold up, what happened to the crusaders?
Mr. Kamikaze: We said too much, dood.
Chocolate: By the way Fusion Fool, dood. Pick a ship.
Fusion Fool: Any ship is a good ship as long as Twilight is in the center of it, dood.
Super Pal: He has a point, dood.
Twilight Sparkle: I want an answer to my question.
Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash: So do we.
Master Cupcake: We'll explain when you're older, dood.
Fusion Fool: Next Episode: "Sweet Apple Massacre, dood!" Only the Lavender Dream can stop the Mac Attack, dead in it's tracks.
Twilight Sparkle: FUSION FOOL! ANSWERS! NOW!
Pinkie Pie: Wow, gotta say, neat how Twilight went from space detective to private investigator to dimensional super hero in the course of 3 chapters, but that's probably why we love our Mary-Sue!
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If you do not know Valvatorez or played Disgaea 4, dood, know that Valvatorez is a nut when it comes to 2 things, promises and sardines, so a Pinkie Promise will keep him at bay, dood.
As well, I am so sorry, if you didn't like this. Prinnies get it good for the first few chapters, then shit will eventually hit the fan, I don't like reading about OC ponies and thus i dislike USEING OC ponies, but eventually, I may have to bite the bullet on this, dood. Till, the weekend, dood.