When Rainbow Dash regained consciousness, she was aware of a steady beeping sound ringing insistently against her eardrums. Her eyelids parted slowly, and as her vision came back into focus she noted that a familiar caramel-colored unicorn was standing nearby examining a clipboard. The scents of cleaners and fresh linen sheets stung her nose, and suddenly it became glaringly obvious where she was.
“Aw, not this again,” she groaned.
“Welcome back, Rainbow Dash,” the doctor said wryly. “How are you feeling?”
She cautiously poked the top of her head, which seemed to be swathed in light bandages. She could feel an itch starting to come on, but he would probably get annoyed if she tried to adjust it in any way. “I feel fine, I guess,” she said after a moment’s thought. “Well, maybe a little dizzy, but it’s not too bad. Did my friends come by?”
“They should be waiting just outsi—”
A pink blur smashed through the door, barreling into him and sending him spinning wildly. “Dashiiiieeee!”
Rainbow’s eyes widened just before her favorite party pony tackled her with a hug forceful enough to smash her into the thin mattress and disorient her completely. “Pinkie Pie—”
“Omigosh, Rainbow Dash I heard you got hurt again and so of course I came, well actually everypony came, and I even left Gummy in the bathtub and everything, I mean he’ll be fine as long as he doesn’t drink too much of the shampoo, I remember last time that happened when we all ended up in that balloon and flew all over Ponyville! I mean strawberry flavor really isn’t his favorite, even though it’s one of my favorites but we can all have different favorite flavors right? I mean I have eighty favorite flavors and only seventy-five of them are fully compatible with desserts and—”
“Pinkie Pie, I don’t think Rainbow Dash appreciates being harassed right now,” Rarity’s voice cut in, and the bright pink pony was telekinetically tugged off of Rainbow.
“Sure she does!” Pinkie chirped, bouncing in place beside the bed as if nothing had happened. “I mean I don’t know a whole lot about what ‘harassed’ is, but I bet she just loves it!”
The pegasus blinked and sat up, rubbing her head as she watched her other friends swarm in around her. “Uh, hey guys. This hospital stuff is starting to happen way too often, huh?”
“Eh, let’s be fair,” Applejack said, shaking her head with a smile. “It was only your fault that one time. ‘Sides, a pony’s gotta live dangerously every now and then, am I right?”
“Heh, for sure!” Rainbow grinned proudly, but that grin faded as she glanced from pony to pony. “Wait a minute … where’s Twilight?”
The other mares exchanged knowing looks. Behind them, the doctor continued to spin out of control.
“Well, Twilight is … She’s in the library,” Rarity said at length. “Since yesterday I’m afraid. The poor girl’s been rather shaken up from that little incident—”
“I thought it was me who got all shaken up,” Rainbow remarked. “Ha, don’t tell me she’s smacked her head against something too! But seriously, I thought she was the one who caused all of this with her wacko machine and everything. I mean, otherwise why would you guys even bother to—”
“Rainbow Dash, that’s certainly not what I meant. Do you honestly think you’re the only one affected by all this? She’s blaming herself for all of this, she won’t even come out of her room and she seems certain that you won’t forgive her for this!”
“I … oh.” Rainbow bit her lip. She knew that Twilight could be awkward sometimes, but she also knew that she hadn’t been a completely introverted nerd since she’d first arrived in Ponyville. Could that side of the lavender unicorn be catching up to her again? That would sure explain why she was suddenly even more shut-in than during her usual research binges. Nerds didn’t have a whole lot of ways to deal with their feelings, especially when they were unicorn nerds. That was one of the obvious things in life, Rainbow knew, and she wondered how she could have forgotten it. Aw hay, now she felt like a silly pony.
Stewing in her thoughts, she looked off to the side awkwardly. There she caught sight of her mint-green roommate, a unicorn who seemed to be only vaguely familiar. The roommate was currently staring down at her own awkwardly bandaged hooves with a rather disturbing expression of glee. With an automatic gulp the pegasus redirected her attention to her friends, suddenly feeling even more uncomfortable.
“We’re not sayin’ that we ain’t feelin’ for you,” Applejack added, as Fluttershy tentatively placed a yellow hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder. “But Twilight worked hard on her mechanical doohickey, and the last thing she wanted was for you to get hurt while helpin’ her out. I’d reckon she’s feelin’ like she smashed you against the wall with her own magic an’—”
“Yeah, she’s all broken up with guilt, I know.” Rainbow inhaled deeply before releasing an impressive sigh. “I’m gonna have to tell her it was just an accident, aren’t I? Even though I could’ve crashed way harder than this?”
The others nodded.
“And even though she technically didn’t need to do that at all?”
The others nodded again.
“And even though she had about a thousand knives in there to cut up that diamond?”
This time their automatic nodding was abruptly paused as they realized what she had just said. Their reactions were instantaneous: Rarity’s irises seemed to shrink even as her eyes bugged out, Applejack gaped wider than had been thought possible, Fluttershy bleated and toppled over stiffly, and even Pinkie Pie seemed lost for words.
“Ahem.” The doctor, who had finally managed to right himself, stumbled dizzily as he approached them. “Well, to put some, ah, sanity back into this conversation, it doesn’t seem like you have a concussion. We may need to take a couple more minutes just to make sure you’re entirely fine, though.”
“As long as it doesn’t take a couple of weeks,” Rainbow said offhandedly, beginning to snicker at her friends’ reactions. “Pfft … Hey! Hey AJ, catching many flies over there?”
Applejack blinked, shaking herself back to reality. “Real funny, Rainbow.”
“Funny? It’s hardly funny at all!” Rarity exclaimed. “Why, if I’d known there would be knives involved I’d have simply turned around and made the long and dismal trek to Tartarus anyway. My goodness, I … I’m sorry for having put you through all this, Rainbow Dash. This is simply a terrible thing for me to have done. I’m just ashamed of myself.”
The blue pegasus raised an eyebrow. “Well, uh, thanks. But I thought it was a terrible thing for Twilight to have done.”
Rarity blinked, quickly snapping out of her self-blame. “Oh yes. She did build that machine, didn’t she … Well then.” She swept her elegant mane to the side and narrowed her eyes, suddenly all business. “Once we are finished here, we shall storm the library with our combined ladylike forces. And we shall proceed to confront Twilight for her gross misconduct and miscalculations. And she. Will. Apologize.”
Noticing the look on her face, Applejack scuttled backwards as fast as she could, nearly tripping over Fluttershy in the process. “We, uh, we probably should do that, yep …”
“Yeah,” Rainbow agreed absently. She had suddenly found herself mesmerized at the way Rarity’s violet mane was still bouncing slightly, maintaining its perfectly curled shape. It caught the light streaming through the window, seeming to glow almost supernaturally … unless that had something to do with her white coat. White and violet complemented each other just perfectly; now it looked fine enough on its own, but if there was an accessory or two to—
Wait. What?
“Rainbow?” Rarity’s terrifying expression had thawed into one of confusion. “Are you feeling all right? You look just a bit … er, cross-eyed. I seem to have lost you upon mentioning ladies … I understand how little you enjoy such things, but if—”
“Nah, I’m good,” Rainbow said, hastily shaking herself back to reality. She really, really hoped she hadn’t been staring. “Just spaced out for a sec, that’s all.”
The white unicorn nodded uncertainly, stepping back to finally allow the doctor through.
Fiddling with her thin blanket, Rainbow’s brow furrowed as she waited for him to begin his checkup. Where the hay had that mane thought come from? It was way too girly for a pony of her coolness caliber to whip up. Besides, it was the same hairstyle Rarity always wore, so why would she suddenly get all excited about it? None of it added up. Now, if the unicorn would just change it around slightly, trying something different and maybe even a little more delicate—
Shut up, she told herself, quickly cutting off that train of thought. Don’t you dare think about that anymore, it doesn’t even make sense. Next thing you know I’ll be calling everypony by stupid pet names and whatever …
Half an hour later, the five mares made their way through the streets of Ponyville. The sun shone cheerfully overhead, the way it usually did, and several other ponies were enjoying the weather by strolling along, chattering about their plans for the weekend and the latest school production and what they would do if they were suddenly forced to survive through the parasprite apocalypse.
In short, nothing much seemed to be going on, which made Rainbow Dash feel rather grateful that she hadn’t needed to keep wearing all those bandages. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the idea of all that attention, or of having a cast for everypony to scribble on and gush over; in fact, it probably would have made her almost glad to follow the doctor’s orders of taking it easy for a couple of days. But she had a feeling that when she’d finally give into her sudden flock of wide-eyed fans’ demands to know how she’d gotten such an impressive souvenir, “I flew in circles through Twilight’s giant doohickey and kinda broke it” wouldn’t be an epic enough reason to give.
Besides, she didn’t want to randomly have an unwelcome thought about how unstylish she’d be looking with strips of white concealing her colorful mane. And no, she was not going to let herself go on a mental tangent about what color ink would look best on it or how it would have best looked if she’d been able to wrap it on herself and …
“Heavens, Rainbow Dash! You look like you’re about to rip something to pieces!”
The pegasus blinked, wondering where that weird mad growling sound was coming from. Then she turned bright red upon realizing that she had been making it, and quickly morphed it into a coughing laugh. “What? No way, Rarity. I’m not even wearing bandages or anything! I’m feeling great, seriously.”
Rarity still looked somewhat concerned. “Well, if you say so …”
They walked on for several moments without saying anything, watching the other three ponies trot on up ahead. Fluttershy shifted her wings awkwardly and murmured something that was just inaudible at that distance, but it seemed to set Pinkie Pie into a sudden fit of giggles; the pink pony’s bouncing began to form a zigzag pattern, apparently from not paying much attention to where she was going from laughing so hard. Applejack just stared after them and shook her head with a smile.
“Say, Rainbow—”
“I know, I know,” Rainbow said lazily. “You want to thank me for the Diamond thing again. Well, here you go: you’re welcome. Again.”
“It’s not that, it’s …” Rarity glanced off to the side for a moment, watching a gray wall-eyed pony flutter erratically past. “Well, you didn’t seem quite yourself when you got hurt.”
“Yeah, you got that right. Faceplanting right onto the wall? Totally not cool.”
“No, dear. You …” Rarity made a face, chewing on what exactly to say. Apparently the option of truth won out, since after a few seconds she said, “You called me ‘darling,’ in the library. Just before you fainted.”
The airy grin melted off of Rainbow’s face. “What the … oh, for crying out loud. You mean that wasn’t just a hallucination?”
“I’m afraid not.”
“Ponyfeathers.” She wracked her brain hastily, trying to dredge up a convincing explanation. “Well, I, uh. Well. I must’ve hit my head pretty hard then, huh?”
“I suppose so. Though I can’t help but wonder if there isn’t something else to do with it …”
“Aw, come on, Rarity!” She made a wide, disarming gesture with her wings, nearly knocking the unicorn over in the process. “You don’t need to get all uppity about something random that happened for, like, a second. If it helps make you get it, I’ve never actually felt like calling you a darling before.”
Rarity laughed lightly. “Thank you for making that clear, dear.”
“I’ve never wanted to call you a deer, either.”
“That’s quite enough, Rainbow. Anyway, I just want you to know that if you need help in any way, shape, or form, I shall be quite happy to assist you.”
“Hey, I’m not a foal—!”
“We’re here!” Pinkie shouted happily, popping up suddenly from between the two of them. “Twilight’s house! Or should I call it Twilight’s tree? Ooh, maybe we should call it a treehouse! Or maybe it’d be a housetree? Wait, have I already thought about this before?” She peered up at the towering tree with narrowed eyes, tapping her chin thoughtfully. Then she shrugged and shifted right back into bouncing mode. “Oh well, who cares? It’s still fun the second time!”
They all slowed as they approached the library, which stood proudly in its own little section of land at the edge of town. Its leafy branches rustled gently in the breeze, and a random squirrel scurried up its thick trunk. A shadowy pony-shaped figure paced back and forth across a window near the top, but as they watched it froze in place, then scampered out of view. When that was followed by a sudden series of clattering and thumping, everypony exchanged glances.
“I hope she isn’t tryin’ to hide up there …” Applejack muttered.
Rarity cleared her throat. “Perhaps she needs to hear a compassionate voice. Oh Twiiiilight—”
“Look, I’ll just go in there and talk to her,” Rainbow cut in, walking resolutely towards the door. “And that isn’t really a compassionate voice, by the way.”
“Hmph! Well, I never!”
Before Rainbow could open the door, however, it slammed outwards with enough force to smash her against the trunk, flattening her and making her head spin. As the door eased back, she did her best to get back onto her wobbly hooves, but something seized her by the tail and dragged her in unceremoniously into the library, slamming the door afterwards.
“Bluh.” She tried to take a step, but her dizziness made that a difficult task. There was also the inconvenient fact that there was a massive sea of books in her way. “Uh, what is this …?”
“Oh, Rainbow Dash, I’m so sorry about all of this!” Twilight’s slightly panicked voice seemed to dart before her, trailing just behind the familiar lavender blur currently zigzagging from one angular pile of books to the next.
Feeling confusion threatening to overwhelm her, Rainbow smacked her own cheek until the world had righted itself. “What’re you talking about, Twilight? I mean, I know it’s your fault, but it’s kinda mine too for agreeing to it, and—”
“Uh-huh. Listen, there’s something very important I need to tell you and it could affect your entire life, possibly even your unlife if it turns out that zombie ponies do exist (but don’t tell Spike I said that, he still needs rest), and in the meantime if we can’t figure this out soon then the entirety of Ponyville might be put in jeopardy, if not the entirety of Equestria itself—”
“Twilight!”
The panting unicorn skidded to a halt, still levitating five or so books at once. Her pink-striped mane looked frazzled, Rainbow realized, and she noticed that the library definitely wasn’t the only messy thing around here. Compared to her, the pegasus felt positively well groomed—
“Nope,” Rainbow said decisively, and quickly mussed up her own mane until it was nearly standing on end. “I’m not gonna be well groomed.”
Twilight blinked.
“So what’d you want to talk to me about again?” Rainbow asked, looking around the library awkwardly. There was still a small charred crater where she had hit the wall yesterday, and she only barely managed to repress a gleeful grin at remembering how fast she had gone. This was serious, after all. Probably.
“Oh Rainbow Dash, that’s part of it right there.” Noting her friend’s puzzled look, Twilight sighed deeply and collapsed into a sad sitting position. “I’m so, so, so sorry for this, I didn’t think it was even possible, I even readjusted the concentration of the ectoplasm to avoid this and that shouldn’t have been necessary anyway … but … but it just …”
“C’mon, spit it out!”
Twilight swallowed. “Well, there might be a bit of a demon inside you.”