//------------------------------// // Homewarming // Story: Homewarming (And Other Silly Stories) // by BrassHeart //------------------------------// Story the First: Homewarming When Twilight Sparkle woke one bright summer morning, a quick glance out her window told her that, yes, it was going to be one of those days. She blinked to make sure that what she was seeing was actually there, and it wasn't some Pinkie Pie-level trick of the light. Nope. It was still there. "SPIIIKE!" Twilight called out. A minute later, the baby dragon stumbled into the room, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. "Yeah? What?" He said sleepily, hopping up the stairs to Twilight's side. Twilight just pointed a hoof out the window. "Tell me I'm not crazy," Twilight said. "You're not crazy," Spike lied. "You didn't even look." "Look at..." Spike looked out the window. "...That's new." "So, I'm not crazy?" "Let's not get ahead of ourselves." "Spike." "Sorry, Twi." Spike looked out the window again. He was certain that the plot of land next to the library had been empty when he had gone to bed, but it had... changed during the night. As in, there was a new, fully-constructed house there. "I guess Zecora works fast," Spike said. "Spike, she decided she was going to be building her new house there yesterday," Twilight said. "As I said: fast." "Think we should go check it out?" "Without a present for the party?" Pinkie said. "No way!" "Good morning, Pinkie," Twilight said. She'd learned to stop being surprised when the pink pony suddenly popped up out of nowhere. Saved lots of time. "What party?" "Duh! Zecora's 'homewarming-but-not-too-warm-because-her-last-house-burned-down-and-we-don't-want-that-to-happen-but-we-can't-call-it-a-homecooling-party-because-that's-just-silly' party!" Pinkie said in one breath. Twilight looked at her in confusion. "Pinkie, what do you mean by 'her last house burned down'?" She asked. "Her house burned down during that fire in the Everfree two weeks ago! Don't you remember?" Pinkie asked. "What fire in the Everfree?" Twilight asked. An envelope suddenly appeared at Pinkie Pie's hooves, with her name written on it. "I think that's for me!" Pinkie said, picking it up and reading its contents. When she was done, she looked up at the ceiling. "Seriously? 'Not canon'? Why wasn't I told earlier?!" She shouted. "Pinkie, who are you talking to..." "The writer, Twilight. Just a second. DON'T PRETEND YOU CAN'T HEAR ME UP THERE!" Pinkie, can we talk about this later? You're interrupting the flow of the story. "Fine. Then can I get a do-over?" Sure, sure. Just a second. "Good morning, Pinkie," Twilight said. She'd learned to stop being surprised when the pink pony suddenly popped up out of nowhere. Saved lots of time. "What party?" "I just got the strangest feeling of deja vu..." Spike said to himself. "Duh! Zecora's 'homewarming-but-not-too-warm'..." Pinkie. "Sorry, my bad. I meant to say, Zecora's homewarming party!" Pinkie corrected herself. She looked up at the ceiling. "Are we good?" We're good. Now stop breaking the fourth wall. "Pinkie, isn't it a bit... early for a party?" Twilight asked. "I didn't say it was now, silly! It's this evening!" "Okay, I guess," Twilight said. "You said... we'd need a gift?" "Yes indeedy!" Pinkie said, bouncing in place. "Now, if you'll excuse me, my party cannon battalion isn't going to mobilize itself!" Pinkie paused, as an awesome idea came to her mind. "Unless... I had party automatons..." "So, Pinkie, shouldn't you get started on the party cannons?" Twilight asked, trying to steer her random friend away from her current train of thought. "Ooh! Right! Bye-bye, Twi-twi!" Pinkie said, her concentration, and idea of a mechanical party-spreading army, broken. She hopped out of the room in a heartbeat. Twilight let out a sigh of relief. "That was close," She said. "I take it we're going to get Zecora a present?" Spike asked. "That would be the polite thing to do," Twilight said. "Let's go, Spike. I'm pretty sure that there's a new volume of 'Super Naturals' out." With a few taps of her hoof, Zecora drove the signpost into the ground in front of her new home. She stepped back to make sure that the sign was standing straight, and when she saw that it was leaning a bit to one side, made some quick adjustments. "Good morning, neighbor!" Twilight Sparkle called out as she approached the zebra mare. Zecora turned to face her. "Good morrow to you as well, Twilight. I trust that you slept alright?" Zecora asked. "Apparently, I slept like a log," Twilight said, looking past Zecora to the new building. "I can't believe I didn't hear that being built." Zecora's new home was a stark contrast from the buildings of Ponyville. While Ponyville's architecture was constructed of lighter colored materials, this building was made of dark wood, with a roof that looked like it was thatched, but Twilight guessed that it was probably more solid underneath. The main part of the house was circular, and two-stories tall, with a second version, only one story tall, joined to it like the circles in a Venn diagram. One of Zecora's masks hung over the door, and even though she knew it was there as a greeting, Twilight still found it... unsettling. "That you did not hear it is quite alright. It was not built overnight," Zecora said, giving her sign another nudge. "But... it wasn't here yesterday..." Spike said. "This building was built on Zebraian soil, then deposited here through an airship's toil," Zecora said casually. "It was dropped off by an airship?" Twilight said in shock. She quickly did some math in her head, trying to figure out the cost of such a project in Zebraian denarii. "The cost would have been... astronomical!" "The total cost, in denarii, was around four thousand, nine hundred and three," Zecora answered. "Woah," Spike said. "Is that a lot?" "Zebraian denarii are made out of solid gold. One denarii is equal to roughly seven bits," Twilight answered. "So, just transporting it here, by airship, from Zebraia, would have cost..." Twilight paused for a second, "Almost thirty four thousand bits." Spike's jaw dropped. "Whoa," was the only thing he could think of saying. "And that's not even considering the cost to build it..." "I told my father many a time that a house in Ponyville I could find. However, much to my annoyance, he chose to do this with a cost flamboyant," Zecora said, motioning to the building. "Geez, is your dad a king or something?" Spike asked sarcastically. "Yes, my young friend, that is true. But I don't recall ever telling you..." Zecora said, stepping back to make sure that her sign was standing up straight. Twilight's and Spike's jaws dropped. "Y-you're... royalty?" Twilight asked. "Second child of the Zebra King, but I do not find it an important..." Zecora turned around to notice that Twilight and Spike were both bowing to her. "...thing." "Your majesty," Twilight said reverently. Zecora rolled her eyes. "And of course, here we go. I do not wish to be treated so," Zecora said. "Please stand up, my good friend. I do not wish to see your head bend." "Yes, your majesty. I mean, ma'am. I mean, Zecora," Twilight said, standing up. "I'm sorry, I just got taken a bit by surprise by this. I mean, why didn't you tell anypony that you were royalty?" "For the same reason I lived in a hovel. I do not like to see others grovel," Zecora said. "I came to Equestria, to the Everfree, to learn. But now I am here by my father's wishes most stern." "Father's wishes? What do you mean?" "Relations between our nations are not as good as they could be. So my father desires that I..." Zecora stepped aside, allowing Twilight and Spike to see the sign she had been adjusting. "...practice diplomacy." The sign had two words on it, written in large text. 'Zebraian Embassy'. "This is... an embassy?" Twilight asked. Zecora nodded. "...In Ponyville? Why not Canterlot? That's the capital..." Twilight asked. Zecora grimaced. "Lemme guess. You visited Canterlot, and they acted like Ponyville used to," Spike said, noting Zecora's look of distaste. "When I came to Ponyville, your doors were barred," Zecora said. "In Canterlot, they summoned the guard." "Ouch," Twilight said. Zecora chuckled. "That is almost exactly what they said. I believe that I was underestimated," She laughed. Twilight and Spike simply stared at her, jaws dropped. A strange thought came to Twilight's mind at that moment. "Wait, so, if this is an embassy, doesn't that mean that the property is technically part of Zebraia?" She asked. Zecora nodded in response. "Oh. I see," Twilight said, giving a casual laugh. "Alright, it looks like I'm going to have to pay Pinkie a visit. Nothing important, just need to stop her from potentially committing an act of war." "I see why you cannot stay. I suppose I shall see you later today," Zecora said. To her distaste, Twilight and Spike gave a quick bow to her before running off. When they were gone, Zecora returned to her work, finally satisfied that the sign was standing up straight. There were a lot of things to move into her new home. A/N: Well, there's the first chapter in this collection. Sure, there were some problems with a certain pony... "I said I was sorry!" Pinkie, get out of the author's notes. Now. "Okay, okay. Sheesh." Thank you. Now, I'd like to make a semi-important announcement about continuity for my MLP:FiM fanfics... I honestly never thought I would write that sentence. "Get used to it." Pinkie, do you want that story with you visiting your family? "Yeah." Then get out of the author's notes. Now, as I was saying, dear readers, I would like to unveil my newest project, an AU in which my past, present, and future fics are held, which I shall call... The Butterflies Continuity. "That's not as dramatic as you think it sounds." Shut up, Pinkie. Anyway, I will put up a blog post soon showing the timeline, which stories are canon in the Continuity and which order they happen in, et cetera. Also, for the three people who read it, 'A Fallen Candle' is not canon. It didn't happen. P.S. I am going to find the member of Studio B who decided that Zecora should speak in rhyme and punch him/her in the face. After thanking them for making such a good show, of course. After punching, I will most likely apologize and offer a bag of ice. P.P.S. Comments make me happy. Give me some.