//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: Evil Aspirations // by airbournesquid //------------------------------// *Tap tap tap* "mrrphmurr..." Ahuizotl groaned as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Winston stirred on Ahuizotl's chest- a makeshift bed for the feline. With a gentle hand he peeled the sleeping cat off of him and placed him upon the head of the sofa. His head throbbed with pain, and his mouth, felt as if it were full of sand. There were a multitude of reasons why he tended to stay away from alcohol, and this was one of them. He felt like crap, no doubt looked terrible and reeked of cat piss. Wait a second... "WINSTON," he shrieked, grabbing the small cat by the neck and holding him up to his face. If he wasn't awake before, he sure as hell was now. "What did I tell you about not using the litter box!" "M-meow meow!" said Winston defensively, holding his paws up in surrender. "Meow meow meow meow meow!" Ahuizotl narrowed his eyes. "You used that excuse last time..." As Winston began to choke out an apology, a queer tapping emanated from the door. Both Ahuizotl and Winston turned their heads to it. One of the downsides (Or upsides, in Ahuizotl's opinion) of living in a jungle populated with creatures ravenous for pony flesh, was that one rarely got visitors. "Hello?" called Ahuizotl uncertainly. *Tap tap tap* "Meow meow." said Winston, picking himself up off of the floor. "You answer it!" snapped Ahuizotl, staring at his stone door with a feeling somewhere between fear and curiosity. Visitors? Now? He hadn't even had the chance to clear things up! Shed cat fur littered the floor, and motes of dust clung to the furniture. A musty, unpleasant smell lingered through the air, and the empty bottles of beer leftover from last night still dotted his home. Heck, he hadn't even emptied the litter boxes yet! Moreover, who'd be crazy enough to wade through miles of predator-infested jungle just to meet him? He never invited business associates over and as for friends, well, to be brutally honest, he didn't have any. The closest things he ever had to visitors were the jungle cats who chose to lounge around outside every now and then, and the last time he checked, tigers and leopards weren't all that familiar with the courtesy of knocking. So who in Celestia's name was knocking at his door? *Tap tap tap* Ahuizotl's curiosity finally got the better of him, and he slowly opened the door. A figure wreathed in an ethereal black mist stood before him, its eyes two burning embers of spite and hate studded upon a face so malevolent that it could bring foals to tears. Its teeth were like a cluster of jagged shards of glass, strewn into a cruel mockery of a smile. Atop of the figure's head was a horn, blood red and as sharp as a blade. "SNRRRK CRYSTALSSS!" "Sombra?" said Ahuizotl, recognising the foreboding stallion immediately. Memories of the night before came flooding back to him. He could remember swaying uneasily towards his telephone, flipping through his phonebook and drunkenly dialling in numbers, letting the slurred words tumble out of his mouth and into the receiver... Sombra's smile faded from his face as he smelt the retch-worthy stench of stale cat piss emanating from Ahuizotl. Scrunching his nose in disgust, he ploughed his way past Ahuizotl into his living room and paled in horror. Many considered Somra a bit of a mystery. He let very few details about his personal life slip and rarely allowed visitors into his new home (a smack shack hidden somewhere in the rural parts of the Crystal Empire). The truth was that Sombra was a strange pony. A very strange pony. In fact, Ahuizotl doubted that he'd ever met a weirder stallion in his life. He was a hermit even by his standards and had little to his vocabulary other than the word 'crystals'. But there was one smaller, more subtle trait to his character that most ponies tended to overlook. King Sombra was a clean freak. The unicorn's horn burst into ichor-black fire, tendrils of blackness sweeping across Ahuizotl's home, latching onto the pieces of trash he'd lazily discarded upon the floor and burning them into oblivion. "Sombra wait," said Ahuizotl. "There's been a mistake, I-" he silenced himself as the stallion who was currently massacring any speck of dirt he could find levelled his horn at him. He held up his hands defensively. "W-wait!" His horn crackled as a single, black bolt of lightning arched out towards Ahuizotl's chest. There was a flash of light, an explosion of pain, and before Ahuizotl knew what was happening, he was led on his back, his coat thick with the scent of lavender. Sombra wiped the sweat from his brow and examined his work. The cleaning spell had decimated every trace of dirt in Ahuizotl's home and rearranged his furniture entirely. His sofa and recliner had been neatly tucked up against a wall, as had his fridge, the litter boxes in the corner had magically emptied themselves and his collection of books had rearranged themselves into alphabetical order. Winston still sat in the middle of the room, marvelling at how his fur now smelt of lemon. "*Sigh* CRYSTAAAAAALSSSSSS." said Sombra in satisfaction before taking a seat at Ahuizotl's sofa. Ahuizotl cleared his throat as he got back to his feet. Part of him wanted to scream at Sombra, but the more logical side of his brain surmised that yelling in the face of a guy who'd once enslaved an entire empire probably wasn't the best of ideas. Instead he decided to leave the semi-immortal demigod alone for now and concentrate on the one true source of all his misery: Winston. "I hope you know that this is all your fault!" said Ahuizotl in a hushed tone, dragging Winston towards him. "Meow meow meow!" "So what if I was the one who made the calls, you were the one who'd convinced me in the first place you overgrown dust bunny! Do you have any idea what's going to happen when I tell him-" he jabbed a thumb towards Sombra- "That this was all a mistake?" "Meow meow?" "That's not fair, I was drunk! Besides, I didn't promise you anything." *Tap tap tap tap tap* "Oh for the love of- who is it this time?" Ahuizotl rushed to the door, opening it to reveal- "AZZIE!" The Changeling Queen leapt through the door and bowled into Ahuizotl's chest, enveloping him in a painfully tight hug. "Azzie, dear, it's been so long! How's my favourite villain doing?" She placed a motherly kiss on both of his cheeks. "You look thin, have you been eating?" She turned to the changeling behind her. "You, snack foods, now." she snapped. The changeling presented a thatch basket, the alluring aroma of its contents wafting through the room. "I brought pizza rolls!" stated Chrysalis proudly. "PIZZA ROLLSSSSSSSSSS..." hissed Sombra, slavering at the mouth. "Sombra, dearest!" exclaimed Chrysalis, rushing over to the stallion. "How's life been treating you?" Already Chrysalis' changelings were filing into the room, some carrying trays of tortillas and other snacks. There were twelve in total. All of a sudden, Ahuizotl's house began to feel awfully cramped. *Pop* "Hola, kon'nichiwa, privet to all!" exclaimed the Draconequus as he popped into existence. "D-Discord!" exclaimed Ahuizotl, Staring at the floating hybrid in horror. First Sombra, then Chrysalis, and now Discord? This was bad. Who else did he call last night? "Ahuizotl, what's it been? A year? Ten months? Five minutes? Bah, who cares, c'mere and give Uncle Dissy a hug!" he said ecstatically as he pulled Ahuizotl to his chest. "And what's this? Chrysalis? Sombra? *Gasp* we're having a party!" his mismatched eyes hunted down the trays of snack-foods, and his face moulded into a ravenous grin. "I spy tortilla chips!" He said as he rocketed towards the snacks. *Tap tap tap* "Oh God..." Reluctantly, Ahuizotl rushed over to and opened the door again. Three diamond dogs stood in the doorway, nervously rubbing their paws together. The smallest one awkwardly cleared his throat. "Monkey-Blue-Dog called, yes?" This was chaos. His house was alive with the obnoxious yapping of diamond dogs, changelings, a draconequus, and a flying smoke-pony to boot. Something smashed in the kitchen, but Ahuizotl ignored it, his house had been desecrated so much already that he scarcely cared any more. Diamond dogs were raiding his pantry, a pair of timber wolves were harassing Winston (The diamond dogs liked to keep them as pets, apparently) and the floor was littered with leftovers. Needless to say, Sombra looked close to having a fit. He scooped Winston off of the floor whilst shooing away the timber wolves with his tail (they resolved to gnaw on his furniture instead. Joy). The platters of snacks that Chrysalis had been kind enough to bring were long since emptied, and many of his visitors had begun to mimic the diamond dogs in the merciless pillage of his pantry. "Meow!" whined Winston. "You do something" snapped Ahuizotl in reply. "This was your ide-" he ducked, narrowly avoiding a recklessly thrown pineapple. "Enough!" The hard, ruthless anger in Chrysalis' voice silenced the commotion instantly. The imposing changeling Queen hovered in the air, glaring down upon the gaggle of changelings, diamond dogs, and various other creatures with a look that could make a cockatrice curl up into a ball and cry. "Does your insolence know no boundaries? We are all guests here, yet you treat this abode as if it were a waste bin! Well, I shall not have it, not from my minions and not from any of you." She landed on a nearby coffee table and pointed directly at Ahuizotl. "This fine man... Monkey... Horse... Thing has offered you the contents of his fridge and the warmth of his hearth! Should you not give him the proper respect that he deserves, then I shall make you," her eyes glowed a savage green, and her horn crackled threateningly with energy. "Understood?" Ahuizotl had to admit, Chrysalis could be downright scary when she wanted to. Slowly, one of the diamond dogs raised a paw. Chrysalis locked her glowing eyes on him immediately. "What?" "Money-Blue-Dog has hearth?" "For the sake of the gods it's a figure of speech you mongrel!" Chrysalis was just about to blast the diamond dog's face off when Ahuizotl grabbed hold of her leg. There'd be no magical fireworks in his house! The last time he'd experimented with that, he'd lost half of his fur, his kitchen and most of the surrounding jungle. The repairs had been... Expensive. "Aha, Ahuizotl," said Chrysalis, beaming down at him and engulfing him in the green aura of her magic. "You wish to address the rabble, I see. Well, I shan't keep you waiting." and with that she levitated him into the air, plopped him onto the table and left him with three dozen pairs of expectant eyes staring at him. Ahuizotl nearly fainted on the spot. "I, uh, *ahem* I-I would like to thank all of you for coming today, diamond dogs, changelings, dark entities..." "And ponies!" exclaimed a blue pony from within the crowd, dressed in a blue, star-spangled cloak and hat. "You too, I guess... I uh, I-" They were looking at him. They were all looking at him. He couldn't do this, he just couldn't. There were too many eyes, all staring at him expectantly. What did they want from him, a speech worthy of Celestia? He wasn't a good public speaker. Heck, he struggled when he spoke to his jungle-cats in private! Besides, how was he going to follow up on that awesome, angry rant that Chrysalis just delivered? No. He had to get down from here, away from all the eyes... Just as he was about to step down from the table his eyes caught on Winston. He was a white speck in the mass of his visitors; it was a wonder that he even spotted him in the first place. The cat smiled, and winked at him with his feline eyes. Winston thought he could do this. No, Winston knew that he could do this. There was a swelling confidence in his chest. Winston was right. He'd developed death traps so ingenious that the world's greatest explorer had never saw them coming, yet she thwarted them every time out of either sheer luck or chance. He'd made deals with bandits and tribesponies and led them into battle, but they had always failed him. He'd turned himself into a villain so terrifying that Mom would have shed a tear of pride, but that damned Daring Doo had convinced half of the population that he was just some antagonist in a book. Life had been stabbing him in the back forever, and now that it finally offered him a chance at true greatness, he was going to run and hide because he was afraid of an itty, bitty crowd? "Evildoers!" he exclaimed, his voice booming with confidence. "For too long have we lingered beneath the oppressive hoof of good, overwhelmed and belittled! For too long have our plans been thwarted, our loyal minions hurt and our prides shredded by these so called 'heroes'!" He pointed a finger towards Chrysalis. "Queen Chrysalis, defeated through no fault of your own, your soldiers scattered throughout Equestria by the 'power of love'." His finger moved to Sombra. "King Sombra, struck down by a dragon youngling armed with the same weapon that you hid so carefully. "The noble diamond dogs, your very way of life threatened by the expansion of Equestria, yet your pleas go unheeded simply because 'you're evil'. "Discord, imprisoned for a thousand years for the crime of wishing to have fun, and imprisoned yet again for claiming your well-earned revenge." "Don't forget Trixie!" "Yeah, sure, you too." Ahuizotl threw his arms wide. "villains, wrongdoers, nightmares of unspeakable evil, we have been wronged! Why is it that good always achieves its goals so easily, but we must struggle for the slightest success? Why are our kind forced to hide among the shadows whilst the 'good and proper' flourish in the light? "Why does good always triumph over evil?" He thought of Daring Doo's smug, smiling face and roared "Well I say enough! No more shall we suffer the oppression of friendship, for we shall turn it upon those who use it destroy us! Individually we may fall, but together, bonded in friendship, the very weapon our enemies cling to so desperately, we shall become unstoppable!" The room exploded in cheering and applause loud enough to shake the stars themselves. His loyal jungle cats roared in approval, the changelings were stomping their hooves upon the ground, and the diamond dogs had begun to chant. "Monkey-Blue! Monkey-Blue! Monkey-Blue!" It was a horrendous nickname, but Ahuizotl was simply too overjoyed to stop them. Discord quickly joined in with the dogs, smiling devilishly all the while. Chrysalis hopped onto the coffee table with him and threw a foreleg around his neck, chanting his name proudly along with all of the others. Sombra sat and watched from the edge of the crowd, his malevolent face lit up in a smile. Winston, he realised, had been right in his suggestion. A pact between this many villains was bound to be unstoppable. A pact like this, could finally mean success. Daring Doo was, in a word, bored. Something should have happened by now. Something always happened by now. She zipped to her window, staring accusingly out at the surrounding forest. Seriously, where was he? It'd been two days since her last heroic victory over Ahuizotl, so why hadn't anything happened? No bombs, no hungry jungle cats bursting through the windows, no deadly assassins (he usually sent Steve over on Tuesdays), and strangely enough, there wasn't a single snake-pit to be seen. There was almost always a snake-pit somewhere. always. She slumped back into her armchair with a huff. "Gee, I sure hope nothing attacks or kidnaps me while in sitting here, bored, tired and completely vulnerable!" she called out hopefully. Nada. "Uuuugh, come on! I'm right here, isn't somepony gonna do something?" As if on cue, there was a curt knocking at her door. Aha, yes! She knew that Ahuizotl had something up his sleeve. That was probably Steve right now, waiting for her to open the door so he could put a penknife in her gut. She slammed through the door, wings flared and body poised in her well-practised kung-fu stance- "Package for Miss Doo." Aaaand it was the deliverypony. "Oh," she said, embarrassed. "Eheheheh, thanks." The deliverypony remained impassive. "Sign here." he said, handing over a clipboard. He left as soon as she passed it back, leaving a paper-wrapped package at her hooves. Daring was immediately suspicious. Of course! It all made so much sense now. Ahuizotl was merely luring her into a sense of false security, waiting for the right moment to strike. Obviously this "delivery" was some sort of mischievous trap. She analysed the package. A bomb? Nope, no ticking. Snakes, perhaps? Ahuizotl had a way with smuggling snakes into the strangest of places, she recalled as she cautiously peeled open the delivery. Like, this one time, when she went to the bathroom- Her frantic thoughts flickered out when she realised that the package was nothing but a book. Ah. She looked at the cover. Right, that. She'd forgotten that she'd even ordered the damned thing. With an embarrassed groan she plucked the book up in her mouth and went back inside. Maybe she was just being paranoid. She'd spend the entirety of her adventuring career dodging this and that and fighting all kinds of weird creatures that came her way that the very idea of a quiet moment had long since become foreign to her. Maybe that was all that this was: a quiet moment. Daring quickly warmed up to the idea. It'd been too long since she'd last had a break, after all. A holiday was obviously in order here. Yes, she'd relax, sit back and... ... What the hell was she supposed to do? Her main hobby was adventuring (obviously), but she'd already scouted out virtually every place in the jungle! Where was the excitement in a journey if you'd already made it? She briefly considered exploring places a little further from home, but stopped herself when she remembered that Maurice, her pet hamster, would need feeding. She spared a glance at the hamster cage next to her bed. Maurice was happily treading on his exercise wheel. Stupid, cute little hamster. Well, perhaps she could get a friend to take care of him whilst she was gone. She looked back to the book cover. 'Cooking for One' Right. She didn't have any friends. The secluded life of an author/adventurer/hero had its downsides, it would seem. Well, if cooking was all she had to do, then cooking it was. Besides, something was bound to happen sooner or later, and Knowing Ahuizotl, it was probably going to be sooner. 'Any moment now, some thug or tiger or bomb is gonna come right through my window. Any second now... ' One Month Later... Construction was coming along nicely. The temple, although bearing a very evil air to it, had simply been too small for their operations. One could not hope to fit this much evil into one tiny building, after all. Everybody had offered a helping hand with building. The changelings had went to work on cutting down trees and constructing them into a sturdy frame, whilst the diamond dogs provided all the digging that needed to be done, not to mention the rock and stone for the walls. The diamond dogs were actually rather adept builders- at least when it came to stone structures. Sombra had sprouted several black crystals from the earth as both a form of support and decoration. To give him his due credit, the effect was wonderfully terrifying. As for Ahuizotl and Chrysalis, they fancied themselves as project leaders. Apparently Chrysalis had a surprising amount of knowledge when it came to the subject of construction, and Ahuizotl was into model building, which according to Chrysalis meant that he had the general gist of it. Ahuizotl had yet to see any truth to that statement, but he wasn't complaining. He needed something to do after all, and building a proper evil lair instead of just hanging out in a deserted temple had always been on his to-do-list, right behind snowboarding. Ahuizotl stood in what would be their evil plotting section, arms crossed and smiling in satisfaction. The room was wonderful-complete with a round table and a high, sinister-looking window to the front. It was almost complete, except for... Ahuizotl delicately placed the small, thin glass display case on the wall and smiled. his father's rare coin collection shining back at him in the morning light. He caressed the side of the case gently with a finger. Now, the room was complete. Now he could call this place home.