“Now the first thing you want to avoid doing, is starting your chapter with dialogue. It’s overly cliche and many people dislike it.”
John Doe heard this and many other tidbits of information floating through the grapevine as he meandered through the streets. It had been several days since his arrival in Ponyville and everyone was beginning to get used to his presence. Well, not really, but I don’t want to write about that. Who reads a Human in Equestria story for watching an alien deal with life in a strange world? That would be silly.
He entered Berry’s building belligerently, building his bravery for the budding battle that Berry would bring. Yet, when she neglected to begin the fight, he figured she foolishly fumbled her mind, forgetting his foreword arrival for a few figurative moments. He considered, shortly, talking to her with alliteration, but that artillery would affect his affluence without a doubt, so he decided against it.
Instead, he slunk slowly and stealthily, no sorry we’re done with that. He ended up at the front quickly and without her knowing. He tapped the counter a little here and a little there in boredom, while watching her go from customer to customer, her mind elsewhere. In response, John, his name more of a denomination than an actual name at this point as if the great cosmic author in the skies had simply grown tired of thinking up a correct name.
He busied himself with preparing the haberdashed smoothie maker that had been provided to him by Berry, his old one being rather… non exemplary in this new work of his. A word which here means the author wanted to sound smart. Berries in hand, not the pony, he put them and some ice chips into the hand crank machine and began his tedious work, keeping an eye on the population of the bar.
And in walked [Pony]. [Pony] was an old friend of John’s, they’d met shortly after the incidents of [Day] and had become quick friends. [Pony] was [Archetype] and while they didn’t get along all the time, John would have no other pony by his side in times of approaching plot climaxes. Indeed [Pony] was absolutely irreplaceable.
They started a discussion and [Pony] eventually revealed [idea]. It seemed risky to John, but he knew that [Pony] wouldn’t be pushing it so hard unless [Pony] knew that [Idea] was worth the risk. So, clearly walking into an approaching story arc, John decided to take it up. Risking it all, putting everything on the line, knowing it’s importance to [Pony] he simply couldn’t let it pass. What kind of friend would he be then?
After [idea] was over John found it odd that it didn’t affect his day to day life and he began to question why [Pony] now only showed up at convenient times, as if part of some cosmic plan. But, luckily, everything went on as normal and noone questioned why everything seemed like a half assed novella stuck together at the corners with horse glue.
Because that would be stupid.
Everyone wants a story.
You know what else everyone wants? A romance story.
So it was quite convenient for the author when John began to have feelings for Berry, despite hating her guts only moments before. he worked harder at work, he brought in more money, and he determined he would help her out of whatever financial rut she had wound herself into.
This is what we in the business call ‘Character redemption’ and is used on either the hero or the villain. In this case John is an anti hero you see, so it’s needed to make him more lovable with the audience. If he weren’t the main character you would also need to watch out for him to die. However, as he is the main character, chances are, he won’t die. Ever.
Even when he does, he doesn’t.
So him and Berry lived happily, and they gave Pinchy the best life she could hope for, and they loved forever and forever and the story got a teen rating and a sex tag and began to describe the ins and outs of all their sexual intercourse and no one batted an eye.
OH SORRY, I THOUGHT THIS WAS EVERY OTHER STORY ON THE FRONT PAGE FOR A MINUTE LET ME RESTART.
We’ll go back to right after he put the ingredients in the blender shall we? Next chapter. I grow tired of this tedious tedium that teeters tantalizingly over my - DANGIT!
Fine, we'll do it now.
So he took out the blender and made a smoothie. Right.
Now the issue here is how to take the story in an unexpected direction right? Esspecially since I just made fun of literally every single direction I could go from here. See though, you don't need to be 100% original, you can just take an established course and add a twist to it. For instance...
In walked a pony, strange and wicked, his horn curved to a red end, malicious and deadly. His face though, his face was tired and thirsty. He sat down at the bar, the rest of the building going completely silent. "Give me something." He said idly.
John, not knowing this new patron, poured some of the new smoothie concoction he had put together into a glass and handed it across the bar. "Something the matter?" He asked as he did so, his time suddenly free'd up as each of the customers left the nearby area.
The thing eyed him, purple swaths of air drifting to the sides of his face and dissipating into the air. "I could kill everyone in this bar right now." He said. John nodded. He knew that whoever this was could certainly kill him anyway, maybe not everyone in the bar, but certainly the frail human behind the bar, especially with that wicked horn. "And none of it matters."
And then I could let the chapter fade into the next one, leaving a cliff hangar, grabbing attention, and artificial boosting the likes and views simply because people only remember the last few sentences and that last part made them like it. Comments of 'Moar' and "Plz continue" fill the page whilst I have absolutely no idea where I intend to take my line of plot.
Then, on the other hand, I could play everything right as rain, close to the chest, slice of life chapter. Which is usually enjoyed simply because of how uncommon they've become. It catches the mind because it's simple and different and so people enjoy it.
Ah, but I'm getting a bit meta aren't I? Better call it quits and hope that [Mod] doesn't ban me.