The Spears of Chaos: Wrath of Screwball

by Discorded SheepcityUSA


Spike the motivational speaker

Discord just sat at the foot of Spike’s bed sniffling, with both the dragon and Fluttershy trying to comfort him.

“It’s okay, Twilight didn’t really mean any of that. She can just get a little stressed out in bad situations.” Fluttershy said, rubbing Discord’s back.

Discord wiped a tear from his eye, which turned into a duck and flew out of the open window.

“I’m perfectly aware that none of this was my fault. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less Fluttershy.” Discord mumbled.

Spike decided to try a different approach, something that would actually appeal to Discord.

“She’s right Discord. Twilight can tend to think very irrationally when she’s stressed. There was this one time where she hadn’t met the deadline for one of Princess Celestia’s friendship reports, and she went full-on psychopath. Seriously, she even made everypony in town fall in love with her stuffed animal.” Spike said.

Discord’s face changed from one of sadness, to utter confusion,

“Twilight did that?” he asked.

“Yup.”

“THIS Twilight?”

“Uh-huh”

“Twilight SPARKLE?”

“Affirmative”

A big grin grew across Discord’s face, and he tried to hold in a laugh.

He failed.

“Bwahahahahahaha! Unbelieveable! Twilight actually did something chaotic?! Did I somehow get sucked into another dimension or without realizing it? Do you see a Tardis anywhere?!” Discord laughed

Spike soon found that his laughter was contagious.

“Hahahahaha! Also, Fluttershy went crazy at the Grand Galloping Gala and let a whole bunch of animals in the castle, and they tore up the entire place!” Spike said.

Discord was now pounding the floor, obviously in a lot of pain from his laughing. Fluttershy’s face turned a bright red out of embarrassment.

“Hahahaha! Phew…alright. What about you Spike? Have you ever done anything particularly crazy?” Discord asked.

“I tried to frame an owl once.” Spike said.

Discord's laughing ceased, and he just gave him an unimpressed stare.

“Hey, I thought he was trying to steal my job!” Spike shouted.

Discord slapped his forehead.

“Because that makes SO much sense…ugh what am I saying?” Discord said sarcastically.

At that moment, Twilight came into the room, looking quite upset.

“Discord, I’m sorry about what I said. None of this mess is your fault, and it was really dumb of me to say something so mean-
spirited.” Twilight said, looking at the floor.

Discord appeared behind her and his tail coiled around her shoulder.

“Oh come on now Twilight, there is really no need for apologies. Everypony screws up now and then. Oh by the way, drive the town crazy over a doll lately?” Discord said with his usual bit of sarcasm.

Twilight looked at him with confusion littering her face.

“What are you…Spike! You told him about that?!” Twilight yelled.

Spike gave his adopted sister a sheepish smile.

“Hehe. Whoops.” He said

Twilight facehoofed.

“Um, now that that is out of the way, we should probably focus on taking down Screwball.” Fluttershy said.

“Alright, so let’s think about this for a second. Yes, Screwball knows about the Alicorn Amulet, but she doesn’t know WHERE to find it. WE do. We just have to get to Zecora before she does, and hope to Celestia we can keep the amulet from her.” Twilight said.

Everypony else nodded in agreement, when Pinkie Pie barged into the room.

“Twilight! Twilight! Applejack just saw Screwball and a bunch of those bad unicorns going into the Everfree forest! She’s going after Zecora!” Pinkie screamed.

“WHAT?! How’d she find out where…BUCKING DAMN IT TRIXIE!!!” Twilight yelled at the top of her lungs.

“Well then, let’s get a move on everypony! We’ve got a world to save!” Discord shouted, now wearing a superhero cape as he flew his way out the door and down the stairs, with the other ponies following suit.


The Mane Six, followed by Discord and Spike, were all trekking through the Everfree Forest to get to Zecora’s hut. When they finally came upon it, it was overrun with members of the Spears of Chaos, all of which where outside guarding it, though Screwball was not to be found. The ponies all hid in a nearby bush.


“Crap! Looks like Screwball beat us here!” Spike whispered.

“Alright, there are a ton of evil guards standing outside, and we're horrendously outnumbered. We need a plan of attack.” Twilight said.

“I have a plan…attack.” Rainbow Dash said, immediately flying out from behind the bush and tackling one of the cult members to the ground.

“Uggh. Why’s she got to be such a hothead?” Applejack groaned

“Intruders!” One of the unicorns yelled, using his magic to throw Rainbow off of his partner.

The ponies came out of their hiding place in a fighting stance, all ready for battle, even Spike who had green fire flaring from his nostrils, looked pissed.

“You had better not hurt Zecora, or I swear I’ll tear you apart with my bare hooves!” Dash screamed.

The unicorn that appeared to lead the group gave an insulting smirk.

“Oh don’t you worry about your little zebra friend. Lady Screwball is in there getting the Alicorn Amulet out of her as we speak. It shouldn't be a problem as long as she cooperates” He hissed.

“You heartless monsters! Get out of our way right now!” Rarity demanded.

The evil unicorn just laughed.

“I think it’s hardly appropriate to be calling US the monsters, Miss. After all, you all are the ones trying to get in the way of building our perfect world.” He snickered.

All of a sudden, all the members of the cult were engulfed in light for about half a second, and were now wearing clown suits.

“What in the-“ Before the pony could question what happened, Discord appeared in front of them and laughed himself to death.

“Hahahahaha! Didn’t see that coming did you traitor?” Discord laughed at the unicorn’s misery.

The stallions were very angry upon seeing their former idol laughing at them.

“Traitors?! You’re the traitorous one here you pig! You turn your back on world domination and expect us to be okay with that?! Even when the Elements of Harmony were out of commission, you still chose to sit idly by like a docile fool?! What happened to you Discord?! You were legendary! A force to be reckoned with! And you give it all up for friends that are just trying to manipulate you?!” The stallion yelled.

Discord floated on his back with an uninterested look on his face.

“Can you just get to where you’re going with this? The author has a fight scene to write here.” Discord said.

His response seemed to only make the unicorn angrier.

“These so called friends of yours, are only trying to TAME you! They’re using this whole idea of “friendship” for their own intentions of keeping Equestria from falling into your grasp! I seriously don’t know how you are so oblivious to this!” The pony screamed.

The unicorn then took notice of Fluttershy, who appeared to be cowering in the back of the group.

“And while I’m at it, you really couldn’t do better than the cowardly animal hoarder of Ponyville?! Seriously?!”

That remark, combined with the loud and threatening tone of the stallion’s voice, made Fluttershy even more afraid. She crouched close to the ground and made soft, whimpering noises.

As you would imagine, Discord didn’t like that.

He snapped his talons and a large ring of fire trapped them inside. The glow of the flames illuminated Discord’s yellow eyes, which made him look quite scary. The unicorns all cowered from the monster looming above them.

“You gone and bucked up, son.” Discord growled. He tilted his head toward the ponies, motioning for the Mane Six to make their move. The six ponies and dragon slowly walked toward the evil unicorns, Fluttershy being stopped by Discord for a moment.

“Oh and Fluttershy…” Discord said.

Fluttershy looked at him curiously for a moment.

“…bite their heads off.” Discord said.

Fluttershy smirked, and a look of immense determination entered her teal eyes, and she too joined her friends in preparing for battle.

Rainbow Dash cracked her hooves.

“So, face or legs? Which do I break first?” She asked them.