All That Shimmers

by Justice3442

Chapter 3: Misfortune

Pinkie drags me through the mall towards the food court as Applejack and Fluttershy walk briskly behind us to keep up. Spending time at the mall with these three was not on the agenda, but I could use something to take my mind of transforming into a demon and potentially being possessed by said demon.

She drags me past the clothing shop Rarity was in and I glance in and whimper quietly.

Pinkie stops to look at me then towards where I’m staring, “What’s wrong?”

I shake my head, “Nothing…” Of course that was a lie. Looks like someone beat me to that nice jacket. I really could have used a win today. Also, it’s really frickin’ cold out.

“Something the matter?” Applejack asks as she catches up with us.

I shoot her a glare. “It’s fine!” I snap out. Geez, can’t anyone just mind their own business, here?

“I was only askin’,” Applejack replies.

I break eye contact and stare at the floor, “Sorry…” I say sheepishly. Uh… excuse, excuse… “…I’m don’t do a lot of hanging out…” Well, it’s not much of an excuse, but at least it’s true.

To my surprise, Applejack puts her hand on my shoulder and smiles at me, “It’s alright Sunset Shimmer, that’s what we’re here to fix.”

Fluttershy gives me a small smile and a tiny nod.

Everyone must have made one heck of a promise to Twilight, the amount of slack I’m getting cut here is almost embarrassing.

“I think it’s time for a group hug~!” Pinkie sings out.

I was afraid she’d say that.

Pinkie steps up and wraps her arms around me. Applejack and Fluttershy do the same, with substantially less hesitation than last night.

“Alright, I’m hugged… thanks…” I utter. “You can all stop now… no seriously! STOP!” As nice as these girls are to me, I really wish they’d pace themselves better…

Cards fly between Pinkie’s hands as she shuffles with incredible dexterity. These aren’t just regular playing cards either, they’re about an inch longer and a bit wider, yet she’s practically juggling the whole, massive set in and out of sleeves, her collar, and even her hair like she does this for a living.

As interesting as that is, I can’t help but stare at the purple wrap around Pinkie’s head that’s pinned with a red broach and a giant purple feather.

I nod to her headwear, “So, you just carry that around with you wherever you go?”

Pinkie giggles as she curls the fingers on her left hand and rapidly fires off cards into her right, “Of course not, silly!” She glances at the ceiling and flicks her free hand upwards, “Only on days where I’m going to be telling someone’s fortune.”

I cock a suspicious eye across the large, round, food court table, “You knew you’d be telling someone’s fortune today?”

Pinkie grins as cards begin to disappear down her right sleeve, “Well, I wouldn’t be much of a fortune teller if I didn’t at least know that!”

Walked…no…sprinted headlong into that one.

Applejack and Fluttershy giggle as they sit with us at the table. Applejack is sitting next to me, no doubt as a bit a buffer for the meek little Flutters. I fight the urge to tell them to shut their yaps and force a probably not all that sincere sounding chuckle.

Pinkie reaches under her headdress and pulls out the full deck of cards.

Fluttershy begins softly clapping. Obviously, she’s impressed with Pinkie’s show. Honestly, the sheer dexterity and sleight of hand expertise here is really something else. I guess it’s no surprise she can play an obscene amount of instruments all at once. Pinkie is the reason I’ve avoiding competing in the schools talent shows like the plague, she always runs away with the whole thing. Trixie has something of a grudge because of this, though I never had need to sort out how to use that…

Pinkie sets the deck neatly in front of me. “Alright, now split the deck into three piles,” she says.

I comply, picking up about a third of the deck and setting it to the left of the pile; then I repeat the process, setting the new set to the right.

“Now, pick up the top card from the first pile and lay it face up in front of you,” Pinkie directs.

I do. A card labeled ‘THE TOWER.’ Is my reward. A large, white tower sits in the middle of the card. It’s on fire as a bolt of lightning knocks a crown off of it and a man and a woman appear to be falling from the burning structure.

“Guessing this isn’t a very cheery card…” I utter.

Still smiling, Pinkie nods. “Yeah, it pretty much stands for misery, destruction, and all around unhappiness.” she informs. “That and also possibly a collapse of an important view or belief.”

“Lucky me…”

Applejack chuckles.

Pinkie gives me a closed eye smile, “You are lucky, the first card is your immediate past.”

I rest my elbow on the table and bring my hand up to my chin, this whole exercise suddenly becoming more interesting. That might have been coincidental, but with the meaning and a crown right on the card, it’s a pretty interesting coincidence.

“Next card, please!” Pinkie says as she grins a wide toothy smile. “This one’s your present, or possibly even you!”

I repeat the process, cringing as I lay the next card in front of me. The card is labeled ‘THE DEVIL.’ A red half-man, half beast with batwings and big goat horns takes up the majority of the card, with a naked couple of horned humans or demons of some sort chained to a pillar the beast is standing atop of.

Applejack’s chuckling increases.

I, on the other hand, am probably starting to lose a little bit of color in my face. My pensiveness doesn’t seem to go unnoticed.

Fluttershy whispers a quiet, “Applejack…” and gently nudges the blond haired girl with her elbow. She also throws in a nod towards me. All of which stops Applejack’s sniggering.

Pinkie, likewise, looks across the table at me with concern. “You know… maybe this was a bad idea…” she reaches for her cards.

I reach a hand out and gently grasp her wrist. “Tell me what the card means…” I say monotone.

“Oh, uh…erm… violence, rage…the er…evil side of people that eats them from within…”

I cringe, and retract my hand. That was a little too on the money.

Pinkie forces a smile on her face, but the look in her eyes is telling me it’s not totally genuine. “It could also mean great financial success!” she offers.

Well, that’s also rather on the money… no pun intended.

I reach for the third and final pile. “I guess this is my future, right?” I ask as I glance up at Pinkie.

“Umm-hmm!” Pinkie replies cheerfully.

I grab the top card and place it in front of me.

… The card reads ‘DEATH.’ At the bottom.

Hello.

My name is Sunset Shimmer and welcome to my cruddy life.

You can actually see it get worse by the minute at this point.

Anyhow, the ‘DEATH.’ card doesn’t disappoint, a skeleton in black armor rides a white horse past what I’m guessing is a dead man as others plead and fall in front of it.

I just stare at the spread in front of me, either this is the most depressing deck of cards in recorded history, I’m just that lucky today, or this demon inside me is real and I’m not going to like what it has in store for me.

“Oh, goody! The Death card!” Pinkie exclaims as she claps her hands together.

I look up at her like she’s lost her marbles… you know… not that I figured she had many to begin with.

The bizarreness of Pinkie’s reaction is enough to break my fixation on the cards and I glance at Fluttershy and Applejack. Flutters there looks about as shaken up by this whole thing as I feel, and Applejack is giving Pinkie the same look I am.

“Now, I may not be much for this fortune tellin’ stuff,” Applejack begins, “but how the heck is that a good thing?” she demands motioning to the card.

Thanks Hayseed, saved me the trouble.

“Well, death means change!” Pinkie explains. “You know… something is going to end…” Pinkie examines the spread in front of me, “Something big by the looks of things…”

“How can you tell?” I ask.

“Oh, well you see, you drew only Major Arcana, so that means your fortune is extra, super, special important!” Pinkie suddenly gasps, “Maybe it’s the evil inside you that dies!”

“Yeah, or just me…” I mutter out.

No one laughs… actually, that might be for the best. It wasn’t very funny to me, either…

Pinkie whimpers from across the table then suddenly snaps her fingers as a smile returns to her face, “Hunger!”

“Come again?” I reply.

“How hungry are you?” Pinkie asks.

My stomach answers for me. Treacherous organ, stomach growls are not something cool, aloof girls are supposed to do… Though, I guess I’m supposed to be dropping that whole side of me since it didn’t really bring me anything but a damaged outfit, even more disdain from my classmates, and self-loathing.

Pinkie beams at me, and in what appears to be one smooth motion, both cards and head wrap disappear from view. And before you could utter ‘hammer space’ she has me by the hand and is dragging me off towards the food stalls.

Pinkie treats me to whatever I feel like eating, which in this case happens to be probably several hour old Chinese food that’s been kept warm by heat lamps. As snarky as that sounds, it’s better than the microwave and instant noodle stuff I usually eat, and leagues better than anything I could cook myself. It’s nice to have someone buy my lunch again, hasn’t happened since I broke up with Flash.

…

Alright, since he broke up with me.

We all return to the table with lunches; Pinkie having zoned in on the unhealthiest food the mall has to offer, in this case a couple corn dogs and French fries, Hayseed opted for a hamburger, and Flutters got herself a salad.

We sit and shoot the breeze, or rather, they shoot the breeze. I mostly just listen in. I have almost no experience actually making small talk at a meal. In Equestria, I spent most lunches surrounded by books and scrolls, mostly ignoring my food as I memorized spells and continued my research. Here, most my lunches resembled something more like a mission briefing where I’d give the latest set of orders to Snips and Snails or whomever I’d conned into doing my will. If there was nothing to plan? I’d pretend to be morose and get the two to go on and on about how great I was.

Man… it’s a damn good thing my magic doesn’t work and I can’t go back in time a week. I’d go back with a knife or maybe even a gun and end my past self’s life in an instant. Universe ending paradoxes be damned.

Ugh… I bet little miss Perfect Princess Twilight Sparkle never had to deal with any of this, she probably spent loads of time hanging out with her friends when she was Sun Butt’s student and never had to think about going back in time to see what a complete nimrod she was.

“Uh…Earth to Sunset Shimmer?”

“Hmmm?” Pinkie breaks me out of my depressing trip down memory lane and I realize everyone’s staring at me.

“I asked you what your favorite lemur was!” Pinkie informs.

… How long did I spend in memory lane?

Applejack seems to notice my confusion, “Sorry Sunset Shimmer, when Pinkie’s steering the conversation you kinda have to hold on tight with both hands.”

“I tried to pick a species,” Fluttershy explains, “but they’re all so adorable! I just couldn’t!”

“I know, right?!” Pinkie agreed.

“Oh well…” I wrack my brain, attempting to pull some information out on Lemurs.

…

…I know nothing about Lemurs.

“Er… I like the… red ones?” I offer. Oh, please say there are red furred Lemurs! Please say there are red furred Lemurs!

“You mean the red ruffed lemur?” Fluttershy asks.

YES! Jackpot! I smile and nod my head up and down vigorously, “Yeah! They have such… distinctive fur!”

“Oh! I know, right?!” Pinkie exclaims. “Their little black faced and tails on either end of that red fur!” Pinkie smiles and hugs herself as she rocks from side to side. “I could just cuddle one forever!”

“Oh, yes,” Fluttershy agrees, “and the white on the top of their heads with the fluffy tail? I can see how that would be someone’s favorite.”

“Well, it’s nice Sunset Shimmer knows somethin’ about lemur’s, ‘cause I know about as much about ‘em as I know about space shuttles,” Applejack says.

“How much is that?” Pinkie asks.

Wait, you actually had to ask? Anyhow, I quickly turn, break my smartphone out, and frantically do a search for ‘red ruffed lemurs’ so I can contribute to the conversation without sounding like a moron. Meanwhile, Hayseed has to explain the whole lemur and space shuttle comparison to Pinkie.

About a minute later and suddenly we’re just talking and talking about how awesome red ruffed lemurs are and I’m rattling off scientific names like I have a book on lemurs that I read every night before going to bed. I may not have known almost anything about lemurs until today, but I’m an expert at memorization.

Eventually, the conversation drifts and I keep my head in it this time. Despite Pinkie’s tendency to randomly jump topics I mostly manage to keep us talking about things I actually know something about, movies, wrestling, current events that don’t have anything to do with demons or mysteriously damaged school buildings. I think I’m actually getting the hang of this friendship stuff! It all goes really well until…

Pinkie’s face lights up, “Hiya, Rarity! Hiya, Rainbow!” she says as she waves.

I feel a deep pit in my stomach form and my relaxed expression turns pensive as I turn to face the approaching girls. I think someone just walked over my grave. Pinkie Pie was easy to win over, heck the girl wanted to be my friend. Fluttershy was never going to be difficult so long as I could convince enough of the other girls to like me. I thought Applejack would be difficult, but between her earlier blunder at the bookstore, Pinkie’s insistence, and a few well-placed jokes from me, I think I got her. Rarity and Rainbow Dash are another story entirely.

Rainbow Dash was always going to be difficult… to win over as a friend I mean. If I were to kill her I’d just arrange for some sort of track and field javelin related incident. An athlete cut down before she was even an adult, tragic…

Rarity’s even worse, she has even more reason to hate me than the rest of the group, and that’s saying a lot.

Maybe I should break into uncontrollable sobbing again. That really worked out for me last night.

The rest of the group exchanges greetings as Rainbow Dash and Rarity approach with bags and bags full of clothes. Rarity is giving me a perplexed look as if asking, ‘Why are you here?’ Rainbow Dash’s expression looks more like a demand for an explanation.

“Maybe I should go…” I offer. I could potentially befriend the whole group here and now, but I was hoping to divide and conquer a bit as far as winning them over. It’s a strategy that seems to work well enough for turning friends against each other, I figured it would work for making friends, too…

“Awww, it’s okay! They won’t bite!” Pinkie says.

“Actually, I dare say this is perfect,” Rarity says as she approaches the table and sits next to me.

Uh-oh… if I where Rarity, how would I plan to kill me? Uh… Probably wait until I was elected Princess of something or another and drop a stage light on me… Guessing I won’t be murdered in the middle of a busy mall food court. Still, I’m woefully outnumbered here.

Applejack grins, “You got enough clothes there, R.D.?” she asks as the rainbow haired girl sits in between Rarity and Pinkie.

Rainbow’s face flushes a bit and she glares at Applejack, “Shut up! These are all Rarity’s! She bumped into me and dragged me from clothing store to clothing store.”

“Just keeping up on the latest fashion,” Rarity says, “and I do so appreciate your help.”

“Ya knew we were gonna meet at the food court, ya coulda just headed up here,” Applejack says.

“Well, I couldn’t just leave her to carry everything herself… even if I sorta wanted to…” Rainbow Dash says. She looks past Rarity and shoots me a glare, “What’s she doing here anyways, I thought we weren’t going to deal with her until Monday?”

I wince, this could get ugly.

“Rainbow Dash…” Pinkie says, “Now be nice, Sunset Shimmer was just at the bookstore to find something to improve herself!” Pinkie turns to me. “Weren’t you, Sunset?”

I turn to Pinkie and nod my head up and down. Pinkie, I think you just shot right to the top of my friends list.

“Wait, seriously?” Rainbow Dash asks in disbelief.

“I nod, yeah… though I couldn’t really find what I wanted,” I say. Still technically not a lie.

Fluttershy smiles, “She really is turning over a new leaf.”

Wait, I have Flutters on my side already? Maybe this will be a heck of a lot easier than I thought.

“Yeah, she’s been downright pleasant for the most part,” Applejack says.

Hayseed, too? Maybe I’m not so bad at this friendship stuff.

Rainbow Dash just glowers at me. She doesn’t buy it, but I’m guessing she’s starting to realize she’s outnumbered.

“Well, this is all fine and good…” Rarity begins.

I tense up and wait for the other shoe to drop.

“… But there’s still something we need to address here,” Rarity says.

I turn and look at her. Why did she have to sit right next to me?!  I shift in my chair pensively. As well as everything is going, Rarity could potentially just remind everyone how horrible I’ve been to them, I’m sure that’d be enough to kill the pleasantries in a hurry.

“Ya…yes?” I stammer out.

Rarity knits her brow, “Oh, I think you know, dearie…”

 And there’s the other shoe… I swallow. Might as well go for broke here. As nice as the other three are being, I’m sure there’s still plenty of bad blood between us all. “Look…I’m really sorry about last Spring Fling, everyone… I shouldn’t have turned you all against each other just so I could win,” I mean it, too. As I said to Celestia, it all seems so petty now. “And… I’m really, really sorry about the video Rarity…” Snips and Snails snuck into Rarity’s boutique while she thought she was alone. Turns out Rarity is rather er… theatrical when she thinks no one is looking. It made for a pretty funny video that killed her chances at the Princess title.

“I had to wear a wig for weeks afterwards, you know,” Rarity says as she continues to attempt to bore a whole through my skull with her eyes.

“I remember… I’m really sorry…” I say.

“And a lot of us didn’t even talk to each other for almost half a year,” Rainbow Dash adds.

I pout slightly, “I said I was sorry…” I glance over everyone’s faces. Despite the progress I’ve made today, this has clearly opened up old wounds and while Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Applejack aren’t giving me the same death glares Rarity and Rainbow Dash are, it looks like the reminder that I sabotage their friendships might have put them back on the fence. I’m in trouble here…

…But maybe…

“Hey look… I’ll help you run for Winter Formal,” I offer.

Pinkie Pie beams at me, Fluttershy is smiling again, Applejack grins and nods, and Rarity and Rainbow Dash just look like they heard me say I was going to donate a kidney to someone.

Bull’s eye.  

“What!? No way!” Rainbow Dash exclaims. “You’re not going to run this year?! But you run every year!”

“And for every dance, I might add,” Rarity says.

I shrug, “Why would I? Everyone at school hates me.”

“Oh, Sunset Shimmer, Not everyone hates you,” Fluttershy insists.

“Uh, they kinda do,” Rainbow Dash retorts.

“Can’t argue you with ya there…” Applejack adds.

“Rainbow Dash! Applejack!” Pinkie says in a chastising tone.

“It’s alright, Pinkie,” I say. “I know it’s true… I mean… How could anyone blame them?” I lay my arms on the table and rest my chin on them as my expression goes morose, “Even if we disregard last night, and let’s be honest, no one at school will… I spent the last couple years manipulating everyone so I could win those dances. Rarity wasn’t even the only one I stepped over to get to the top.” I sigh, “I turned myself into the most feared student at school. Now that everyone’s unified against me, I’m just the most loathed…” I bury my head in my arms. As thick as I’m laying on here, I mean every word.  

There’s a brief pause of silence and then I feel a hand cover one of my own. I look up, Rarity is now smiling at me as she rests a hand on mine. “I forgive you,” she says.

I give a small whimper and a nod as my lip starts to quiver, I might actually start crying here. This is all going way better than expected, but I didn’t realize just how much emotional investment I had in making friends with these five. Although, the cynic in me wonders if it’s just because I got blasted by their friendship beams and somehow subconsciously crave their attention, now.

“GROUP HUG!” Pinkie cries as she raises to her feet.

Okay, I don’t want it that much!

“Sit down, Pinkie,” Rarity commands gently, “there will be time for that later.”

Pinkie pouts and sits on her chair.

I breathe a quiet sigh of relief. I can’t believe Rarity saved me here.

Rarity looks at Rainbow Dash. “Satisfied?” she asks with a smile.

Rainbow Dash shrugs, “Eh, as long as she keeps out of trouble and makes good on her promise, she’s alright with me.”

It’ll do for now, I’m sure she’s not the only one here who will be on their guard. I mean, I would if I were in their shoes… Oh, who am I kidding? I wouldn’t even suffer my own presence in their shoes.

“Well, since we’re all here, anyways” Rarity says, “I propose we bump a few agenda items we planned for Monday to right now.”

Pinkie excitedly pumps her fist into the air. “Here, here!” she says enthusiastically.

The other three nod in agreement.

I really hope I’m not in store for some sort of unpleasant friendship initiation ritual.

Pinkie grins wide at me and stands up, making her way to my side of the table. “Now close your eyes~,” she says.

This is only confirming my fear. “Uh what are you… HEY WAIT!” I cry as the pink haired woman covers my eyes with her hands.

“Fluttershy, can I have your item?” Rarity asks.

???

“Of course,” Fluttershy replies.

I hear rustling, “Uh, Rainbow Dash, be a dear and check the other bags. I’m not finding it.”

Finding what?

“Didja have to buy so many clothes?!” Rainbow Dash whines as the rustling increases.

“Keeping up with fashion is hard work, darling,” Rarity says.

“Pffft… you should try keeping up with sports, sometime!” Rainbow Dash retorts.

“Hmph,” Rarity replies, “well I’m afraid there’s some hobbies I just don’t find that interesting.”

“Hobbies?!” Rainbow Dash says defensively.

“Uh, Rarity?” Applejack says, “I think sports is a bit more than a hobby to Rainbow Dash.”

“Thanks A.J.,” Rainbow Dash says, “but I can handle this myself.”

Applejack sighed, “Jus’ trying to help.”

“I got this!” Rainbow Dash insists. “Sports is more than a hobby to me, Rarity!  That be like saying that Fluttershy taking care of animals is just a ‘hobby’.”

 Uh… what’s going on?

“Well, I dare say that Fluttershy’s love of animals is a tad more significant than your interest in sports…” Rarity says.

“Interest?!” Rainbow Dash cries.

Rarity continues, “…wouldn’t you say, Fluttershy?”

“Uh… erm… I don’t think…” Fluttershy says meekly.

“Now, why you gotta go and drag her into this for?” Applejack asks.

“Oh! Are we arguing?!” Pinkie asks excitedly. “Can I join in?! Argue, argue, argue! Bicker, bicker, bicker…”

Oh God, make it stop!

“Pinkie, that’s not helping right now,” Applejack says.

“I’m pretty sure that’s impossible,” Pinkie replies, “I am a helper.”

“Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash says, “sometimes your help isn’t always that helpful.”

“WHAT?!” Pinkie shrieks.

OW, my poor eardrums!

“Erm… You can be a tad overzealous, sometimes…” Fluttershy admits.

“A ‘tad’?!” Rainbow Dash asks. “More like a ‘ton’!”

“But… but I just want everyone to be happy!” Pinkie protests.

“We know, dearie,” Rarity says, “but you don’t always go about it in the right way.”

“But… but…” Sounds like Pinkie’s a bit shaken up here. Feels like it, too. Her hands are starting to shake slightly as she continues to cover my eyes. It’s…unpleasant to say the least.

“Now, ya’ll don’t need to pick on her like that!” Applejack says.

Rarity sighs, “Oh there you go, rushing to everyone’s defense but mine…” Rarity accuses.

 “Well, you started it!” Applejack shot out.

“I most certainly did not!” Rarity replies. “The first stone was clearly cast by Rainbow Dash.”

“Was not!” Rainbow Dash declares.

“Was too!” Rarity retorts.

Wow… no wonder all it took was a few e-mails and some misinformation to break up this group. Past me would have reveled in this. Present me is now stuck in the eye of the storm, and has someone’s sweaty palms rubbing against her eyelids.

“Wait, I didn’t see Rainbow Dash throw any rocks…” Pinkie says.

“Uh, Pinkie?” Fluttershy says, “It’s an expression.”

“I KNEW THAT!” Pinkie asserts loudly (Ow again, by the way). “I’m not stupid, you know!”

“Erm…I never said you were stupid,” Fluttershy says.

“Well, you did just now!” Pinkie protests.

“But… that’s not what I…”

“Pinkie, are ya picking on Fluttershy?!” Applejack asks.

“Erm… I can speak for myself, you know…” Fluttershy says.

“ME?!” Pinkie cries shrilly (seriously, I think my ears are ringing…) “Why does everyone always assume Fluttershy is the innocent one?!”

“Uh, ‘cause she’s kinda a doormat?” Rainbow Dash says.

“…Seriously, cut it out…” Fluttershy says as irritation creeps into her voice.

“Don’t tell me I there’s actually a nerve to hit in quiet, mousy Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash asks.

“Rainbow Dash, I’m warning you…” Fluttershy says.

“Rainbow Dash, darling,” Rarity begins, “maybe you shouldn’t…”

“Wait, I wanna see if pushover poster child here actually has a spine or not,” Rainbow Dash replies.

Ouch, even I thought that was harsh.

To my surprise, Fluttershy actually growls, “Grrrrrrrrr, Rainbow Dash why, you’re just a… just a big… ol’… meanie!” Fluttershy screams out.

“Yeah, you tell her Fluttershy!” Pinkie says. “Oh wait, I’m still mad at you!”

“Ooooh, Pinkie Pie forgot something, what a surprise!” Fluttershy says.

The quivering in Pinkie’s hands increase.

“Uh, Fluttershy… Don’t you think you’re being a tad venomous here?” Applejack interjects.

“Well, apparently everyone just expects me to be a spineless doormat and pushover! Well, I have plenty of nasty opinions on all of you, too!” Fluttershy exclaims.

“Oh, this oughta be good,” Rainbow Dash says as if she’s going to enjoy Fluttershy’s list. “Let’s hear it.”

“Well, for starters…”

Oh, I do NOT want this to escalate. “SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!”

Thankfully everyone shuts up and stares at me… I mean… I think they’re staring at me. I still can’t see anything.

I take a few deep, calming breaths as my chest puffs in and out, “Sorry, but you guys are giving me a migraine and on top of that Pinkie’s palms are really sweaty.”

There’s another beat of silence and then a chorus of laughter and giggling.

“Hahahaha! I can’t believe Sunset Shimmer is the level headed one here,” Rainbow Dash says.

“Hehehehe, I know, right?!” Pinkie says, “Boy is my face pink.”

“Hehehehe, I think you mean, ‘red’, darling,” Rarity says.

“I know what I said,” Pinkie says cheerfully.

“Hehhehheh, Pinkie, maybe there’s another way to keep her eyes covered,” Applejack suggests.

“Oh! I’ve got just the thing!” Pinkie says. “Why didn’t I think of this sooner? Here Fluttershy, swap with me.”

“Oh, ah… okay…” Fluttershy says.

Finally! There’s a quick exchange of hands and… Holy geez! Fluttershy’s hands are actually worse than Pinkie’s! Guessing the girl was clenching her fists for a while there. Thankfully, Pinkie wastes no time in getting something wrapped around my eyes. My guess is she remembered her head wrap.

“Thanks,” I offer.

“You’re welcome!” Pinkie says.

The rustling resumes.

“Oh!” Rarity exclaims, “I’m terribly sorry, Rainbow Dash… seems the item was in my bags.”

“Eh, no biggie,” Rainbow Dash says.

“Erm, I’m sorry I said sports was just a hobby, too,” Rarity adds.

“It’s all good… I’m sorry I picked a fight with you,” Rainbow Dash replies. “Uh… sorry I called you a doormat, Fluttershy.”

“That’s okay, Rainbow Dash, I’m sorry I lost my head there and called you a meanie,” Fluttershy says. “Pinkie, I’m sorry I made fun of you.”

“Ah, that’s alright,” Pinkie says. “I can be a real scatter brain, sometimes” she admits.

“You don’t say…” I utter. Please say that wasn’t out of line, PLEASE SAY THAT WASN’T OUT OF LINE!

Thankfully everyone giggles and laughs again.

“Shoot everyone,” Applejack says, “I’m sorry I got into it with all ya’ll.”

“And I’m sorry that… well… sorry I don’t have anything to apologize for, for a change,” I say with a smirk.

More laughter. Maybe I should use my power of snark for good more often, it’s oddly fulfilling.

The group quickly exchanges a few more apologies as the rustling continues. Finally, the blindfold is taken off and, ow… I scrunch my face up and squint as my eyes adjust to the fluorescent glow of the mall food court. My vision adjust and I spy a pair of brightly colored, perfectly wrapped boxes in front of me, complete with expertly wrapped bows.

I stare up at the five friends in confusion, “Should I check for ticking, first?”

They all laugh again. Though, I was half serious there. It’s pretty hard to believe they’d get me anything that doesn’t explode or spray noxious fumes at me.

“Come on! Open them! Open them!” Pinkie Pie says as she bounces up and down excitedly. I’m not sure if I should take that as a sign that they’re more or less likely to explode.

I grab the smaller and shred the paper off the box. It’s almost a shame given how well Pinkie wrapped this. I’m actually starting to get a little jealous of the girl, she seems to be a woman of many talents and she’s an expert at all of them.

“Fluttershy got you that one!” Pinkie informs.

I glance at Flutters who seems a tad nervous. Likely scared that I’ll judge whatever’s in the box and take it out on her if I don’t like it. The former is unavoidable, but I resolve myself to not do the ladder, no matter what stupid, animal themed… oh… Hello? What do we have here?

I pull out a black sunglasses case.  Didn’t see that one coming, let’s hope the shades aren’t dorky or gaudy… I open the case and…

Wow… these are actually pretty chill! I mean, I don’t think they’re a named brand or anything, but it doesn’t look like she skimped on them either. I don’t know if she overcompensated to please me or what, but I ain’t complaining.

“She likes them! She likes them!” Pinkie declares.

I guess my grin was pretty hard to miss. I turn to Fluttershy and give her an earnest smile and an equally earnest, “Thank you.”

Fluttershy smiles back at me, “You’re welcome, Sunset Shimmer.”

“Oooo! Oooo! Next one! Next one!” Pinkie cries.

“Alright, alright…” I say as I reach for the larger box, “Eesh, I’ve known cocker-spaniels with less energy than you.”

Pinkie gasps.

Uh-oh, maybe the dog comparison was a bit much.

“HOW DID YOU KNOW MY FAVORITE BREAD OF DOG?!” Pinkie asks in her shrill voice.

Wow, today sure got better in a hurry, wait… did she just say…

“Pinkie, I think you mean ‘breed’ of dog,” Fluttershy corrects.

“Unless she knows a lot more about how tasty dogs are than we do,” I suggest.

Fluttershy covers her mouth and gasps, everyone else bursts into laughter. Even Flutters drops her hand enough to show that she’s blushing slightly and giggling.

Rainbow Dash shakes her head, “I wish you’d have come around sooner, Sunset. You’re a riot.”

And I do believe that’s five. Sunset Shimmer 5, Friendship 0… or maybe it also gets a 5… Guess we’re all winners, here (but mostly me).

Anyhow, I grab the box.

“And that’s from the rest of us!” Pinkie informs cheerily.

Huh, I wonder what it could be, Flutters spent a lot on her own. Actually, I wonder why Fluttershy elected to not get in on the joint gift. Everything becomes crystal clear as I open the box and my heart gets stuck in my throat and my eyes open wide and even feel water form in my eyes. I can hardly believe what’s in front of me.

Inside the box is the same, perfect, stunning, badass leather coat I saw in the shop. Rarity must have been the one to snag it. I take it out of the box and just marvel at it. It’s even better looking up close.

“Hehehehe… She’s speechless!” Pinkie says.

Rarity smiles at me, “We originally got these as a sign of good faith on our part, but you’ve been such a good sport today, I guess you can say you earned them.”

Applejack nods, “Eeyup.”

 My bottom lip starts to quiver and more warm water starts to well up behind my eyes.

“Oh my gosh! Hehe… She’s actually crying!” Rainbow Dash says.

“Sniff… I’m not crying!”

I am crying…

“GROUP HUG!” Pinkie announces.

This time no one stops her.

Oh well, it’s a pretty small price to pay for a new pair of sunglasses and an awesome new jacket.

The girls invite me to spend the rest of the day with them, and I don’t refuse. Everything else is pretty uneventful, though I pick up the bill for dinner and milkshakes on my own accord. Gifts or not, I don’t want to feel like I owe them anything, and it was money I figured I’d be spending on a new jacket anyhow. What’s also nice is most of the girls know how to drive and even have their own cars, so I get to avoid public transit for the rest of the evening. Something I haven’t been able to do since I broke…I mean Flash broke up with me.

Not going to lie, it was pretty nice… though Pinkie might have some sort of group hug addiction. Still, she was nice enough to help me go grocery shopping which added a chatty surrealism to the mundane task I had not known was possible. She also drove me back to my apartment in her small, pink compact car.

“Goodnight, Sunset Shimmer! I had a lot of fun hanging out with you today,” Pinkie says.

“Yeah, me too…” I reply. “Uh… you can let go now.”

“Ooops! Hehehe…” Pinkie unwraps her arms from around my body and lets me get a breather in. “Do you need help with your groceries?” She asks.

I pick up the brown grocery bags that are at my feet, “I got it, thanks!” I wouldn’t mind so much, but I don’t want Pinkie to see the mess I made of my apartment.

“Alright,” Pinkie says, sounding slightly disappointed, “See you Monday, okay?”

I nod and smile, “Of course!” Surprisingly, I’m actually looking forward to it. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun, or if I’ve ever had so much fun.

“Bye-bye!” Pinkie says as she waves her hand enthusiastically.

 “Goodnight, Pinkie!” I say as I walk towards the complex.

“Goodnight, best frenemy!”

I just smile and shake my head as I make my way back to my apartment. I don’t even make it all the way before my phone starts vibrating. I get to the door, set down the bags, and pull out my phone to see Pinkie has texted me, ‘SLEEP TIGHT!’ along with a plethora of emoticons. I text her a quick “You too.” Wow, being her friend is going to be tiring.

I’m tired, but happy all the same. I feel accomplished, a little giddy, and loved… well liked at least… It’s a feeling that stays with me as I put away the groceries, clean up the sad pathetic state that is my apartment, shower, and get ready for bed.

I climb into the covers and rest my head on the pillow. I think this might turn out to be the most relaxing sleep I’ve had in a long, long time. I close my eyes…

…and my nose is immediately assaulted with the smell of sulfur.

I knew there was something else I was supposed to do today…