The Moon Isn't All Bad

by Ze Guest


3: The Battle of New Apogeeans

General Old Hickory stood before his stallions. Luna had decided to let him deal with this battle, just for fun. He was making some kind of sign language in which she didn't quite understand. The others did, though. And that was good enough. Hickory strutted back and forth, looking at his army. Observing them. Encouraging them.

The treaty had been signed by the lobsters. The news hadn't reached them yet, making this the last battle of the second war against the lobsters. Hickory and her were the only ones who knew this because Luna was the one who planed everything and she told Hickory about it. Two wars with the lobsters. But Luna was planning on winning both of them. New Apogeeans was going to the sight of the last battle of the two. Luna knew she could have simply named it city New Foaleans, much like the actual one. But she decided it would be funny to make a little moon pun. Just for kicks.

Hickory raised his musket into the air in come kind of silent cheer. Everypony else did the same, even Luna. Unlike Citadel Ridge, ammunition was abundant. But they were still out numbered 7 to 4.5. But Old Hickory was very skilled at things like these. He seemed to know his way around a battlefield and made good decisions. Now, Luna was testing his leadership. So far, so good.

There was no actual city to defend. It was really just a cluster of spires and tall rocks that she pretended to be a city. My, how she loved role play. Luna squinted her eyes. She thought she saw something moving. And she did. Thousands of dust lobsters were scuttling their way towards the made up city.

Hickory slowly drew his blade from its holster. Everypony awaited his signal to fire. He stood like a statue, not moving. His face was straight and stern. His eyes were deep. His sword at his side. It had not lifted yet. Luna was wondering what was taking him so long. The lobsters were only getting closer. Closer. Closer still.

The gleam of light shone in front of Hickory. The iron on his blade shone bright like the sun. Cannons fired and muskets shot. Ponies rushing forward wielding guns and blades. A cannon ball hit enemy line and it almost disintegrated. Hickory ran into battle as brave as he could be. He was daring to do anything. He lifted his blade and brought it down upon a lobster's neck.

Luna found a small crater in the ground, about four feet deep. An enemy bullet landed behind her. She felt a little tug, but no harm was caused. Luna quickly put it in her ammunition pouch. She looked outside of her trench only to find out that she was behind everypony. They had already started to penetrate enemy lines.

Luna crawled out being wary of any lobster's line of fire. She dashed to get back into the battle. Lobster cadavers peppered the floor. She could hardly find any ally's bodies. She found cover behind a rather small boulder. Only about two times taller than her. She used her magic to hold her gun and aimed at a lobster.

She was going to fire at him, but Hickory beat her to the job and ran his sword through his chest. Blowing off the dust on it afterwords. He was good at this. She scouted out another lobster who was blissfully unaware Luna. She fired at the lobster. He started to slowly float away in a trail of moon dust until the cadaver was completely obliterated by a cannon ball. The scene was majestic. It looked like a magnificent fire work exploding into the night. Luna smiled at the glorious sight.

Luna reloaded her weapon and ran father into the fight. She found herself running on top a mound of bodies. All of them, lobsters. Making an imprint in the dust with every step. A lobster ran up to Luna but she didn't hesitate to smack him with her gun and easily removing his head.

Another lobster crawling around. Looking for a good kill. The problem was. Luna thought he was a good kill. The lobster was only able to notice Luna at the last second. He looked up quickly. She put the tip of the musket in his mouth and simply pulled the trigger. He exploded into silver dust like they all did. All of this, and Luna was having the time of her life.

As she chuckled gleefully, a lobster aimed his rifle at her. She merely jumped out of the way with a biggest smile on her face. She flew up to a lobster as he was reloading. Happily, almost too happily, she ripped off his right claw and started slapping him across the face with it while shouting. "Why is thou hitting thyself?! Why is thou hitting thyself?!"

The lobster staggered backwards and Luna bucked him in the face. Luna pranced away to more cover as Hickory's forces completely destroyed the lobsters. Luna couldn't help but laugh. There was no way she expected the moon to be this fun. She never had this much fun in her whole life. She could literally kill anypony she wanted and nopony would mind. She wondered, if he wasn't in his stone imprisonment, if Discord would enjoy this type of disharmony.

Luna reached to pull out another bullet. Which instantly stopped her laughing. She had used it all up! How was that possible?! She looked at her pouch at investigate. The hole in the bag was extremely large. Where were the bullets then? Luna looked around. She couldn't go very far on the battlefield. The hole! The bullet that passed by hit her ammunition pouch! The bullets must be scattered everywhere.

She saw something shining on the ground. It was lying next to a mound of dust that was most likely from a lobster. Her horn shone blue and she dragged the object over to her. It was- it was a sword. She stared at it, watching the light glint off it. She could feel a smile coming on. She dropped the musket and walked out of her cover.

She charged it the fight wielding her newly found sword. A lobster stood in front of her. Luna swung her blade and cut him in two. She was catching up to another. "Say goodbye to thy head!" She said. Oh, if only one could hear you scream in space. Because when she ran past him, the head was floating away from it's owner.

Luna saw another lobster. She ran him right through. So fast. Another one. No chance. Two of them came up to her. One with a sword, another with a musket and bayonet. Before the lobster with the bayonet could fire, Luna threw her sword and impaled him. She then pulled the sword out of the lobster swiftly, perfectly, and slashed the other one. She also decided to take his sword too. "The fun has been doubled!" She shouted to herself.

Luna waltzed her way through the enemy reinforcements. This caught Hickory's eye. His face withheld the most confused look it possibly could. The lobsters seemed to notice Luna as well. The sight intimidated them to the point where their leader called for a full retreat.

The lobsters didn't take the new well. But they had to. They quickly fell back. Luna wasn't quite done yet. Just one more. One lobster, scuttling away in pure fear as he realized that Luna was on his tail. Unfortunately for the lobster, those tinny legs of his didn't make any promises. Luna raised her two swords and lowered. The lobster was cut into three and soon exploded for some reason.

Out of breath,(if even possible in space.) Luna stopped slaughtering lobsters after him and stabbed the blades into the ground. She was quite surprised. The battle only took thirty minuets. The battle at Citadel Ridge took some time. A couple of hours. It seemed that Old Hickory was a good leader. Luna surrounded the battlefield in a barrier and soon, lobsters and stallions alike exploded into dust.

Hickory walked up to Luna who was smiling blissfully. She turned to Hickory and waved at him. But instead of a wave back, he inspected Luna up and down with that confused face. Before he could react, Luna swung a foreleg around him. The two started to head home again. But on the way, Luna just couldn't stop thinking about those swords. She had an idea.