//------------------------------// // The Heat is On // Story: Room for Rent // by Drax99 //------------------------------// The fact of the matter is, we really do not know what these creatures are. They resemble the cartoon characters from the show My Little Pony, and it was the intention of the fans that opened the portal to their world to find this same land of Equestria. And yet, they did not find a land of cartoony creatures, but a real living ALIEN world. Even the use of the word ‘pony’ is only a side effect of the translation spell they use to communicate with us, and it has been proven that some words just do not translate, and are instead substituted. In short, we do not even know what they call themselves. They certainly are not ponies in relation to how they exist in our world. They more closely resemble earth’s deer or llamas on first glance, and only roughly resemble the cartoon characters that represent them. The reality is that they are actually inter-dimensional aliens and have nothing in common with any living creature in our world, besides a shared intelligence and personality traits. Their acceptance has caused a strange rift in our culture, not just in the expected concepts of our being alone in the universe, but also in the very definition of intelligence. Strangely they have integrated themselves into many areas, gaining friends with a flawless ease, while the opposing human numbers in Equestria has dwindled as it is found that many humans just cannot adapt to the social environment of the pony world. Many are politely asked to leave after proving to be too violent for the peace-loving ponies. In fact, more humans are now living with the more aggressive griffons than the ponies they originally traveled to meet. The ponies, however have been coming to earth in ever increasing numbers, and making friends wherever they go. Even the detractors are oddly non-confrontational when presented with the brightly covered visitors. The small number of anti-Equestrian groups have presented arguments that the ponies are looking to colonize our world and take it over for themselves, and fear that there is some nefarious scheme at work. Then there are the religious zealots that claim the ponies are an abomination to their beliefs and that only man is fit to be given any rights. And yet oddly enough, even the most fervent of detractors fail to raise a hand against the peace-loving creatures. Strangely enough they have instead directed their ire towards the many pro-Equestrian supporters. Fights have broken out between various human groups, while the ponies stand nearby, either unwilling or unable to intervene. There are, of course, exceptions. Several of the more affluent members of the pony community have been known to step in. The ambassador Rainbow Dash, in particular, has been known to often get physically violent in the defense of anyone she sees as her friends. When a certain anti-gay group attempted to crash a peaceful pro-gay rally, she was seen knocking many of them to the ground, and standing in the way of the more violent offenders. It wasn’t until her friends physically pulled her from the fray that she finally relented, just before the authorities arrived. In addition, a farming community was defended by Ambassador Applejack when a large corporation attempted to annex prime farm land for building a mall. She was fined damages to much of the equipment that she had destroyed, despite the fact that it was later found the building permits had been illegally obtained. In conclusion, there is still much to be learned about and from these furry visitors to our world. And more importantly, we must always remember that no matter how much they may appear to be gentle animals with colorful coats, they are in fact highly intelligent and completely alien beings from a totally different reality than us. Take nothing for granted, for we are still learning how the two species will integrate in the future. --Dick Chambers, BBC News As I finished the article, I heard another tap on my door frame and turned to see a much changed Pinkie Pie. A trip to a nearby pet groomer had gotten the last of her shedding coat removed, and her new fuzzy coat smooth and shining. Meanwhile, a trip to the hair salon had her mane and tail back to it's normal incredible mass of curls, only slightly mussed by a case of bed-head. Topping it off was her own pair of boxers, for when she wanted to go commando around the house, as well as a new pajama shirt that made her look absolutely adorable. If she was a plush toy I would be hard pressed to not hug her. I was just glad that we wouldn't have to worry about the normal female problems and the resultant mess. Boxers and thongs were one thing, but the particular anatomy of female ponies made things like tampons rather impractical. She assured me that ponies on her world were similar to ours in that they had a brief annual heat lasting about a week, during which hormones went wild and stallions were stalked like prey. They even had a cute name for it, calling it ‘Hearts and Hooves Day’. I guess it was supposed to be similar to our Valentine’s day, but the way she talked about it made it sound like an Amazonian Man Hunt. Pinkie assured me that the event was months off, and that she already had plans to return to Equestria to ‘Squeeze her Main Cheese’. I have no idea what that means, but I am honestly too afraid to ask. Until then, she would be happily sporting her new boxers around the house, and her traditional pony thongs in public. “Heyas Louis, more pony news?” The normal bright smile lit up her face, and I could swear the coffee cup had grown in size. “Yea, looks like your friend, Rainbow Dash, got in some trouble again. Some idiots were trying to pick a fight and she obliged.” I scooted over to show her my screen, and took a sip of my own morning beverage. It was my day off, and Pinkie was on late shift herself, so another shared morning at home. That being said, my coffee was a bit more “Irish” than hers. I had not yet introduced her to the wonders of alcohol, and was too afraid to try. Seriously, if this was her with inhibitions, what would a buck wild Pinkie be like? As she sidled beside me to read the article, I heard her giggle, and take a big gulp of her coffee. “Yeah that sounds like Rainbow Dash alright. Always here for her friends, but a bit too eager to get rough. Her and Applejack are alot alike. I prefer to sing and dance to make ponies stop fighting. Like when I helped in Appleoosa!” I couldn't help but notice that Pinkie’s failure to understand the concept of personal space was starting to reassert itself, as I distinctly felt her start rubbing up against me while she read the article on the screen. It became even more uncomfortable as she lay her head in my lap and started to hum to herself, while still rubbing on me like an over affectionate feline. Finally my comfort levels bottomed out as I heard a distinct wet popping noise, like someone pulling a lollipop from their mouth. “Uh, Pinkie, did you just fart on me?” I turned to look behind her, from where the sound came. “Huh, what?” She blinked up at me, seeming to come out of a self absorbed daze. *Shhpop!* The noise sounded again, definitely coming from my pink companion. “Oh no. Nonononono!” She seemed to panic as her face turned red, and her eyes grew wide. “It’s too soon! Much much too soon!” She turned to look back over her shoulder, as the blush spread over her body. Suddenly she looked back at me and my confused expression, a look of horror spreading across her face. And then just like that, she was gone in a flash, the dull clunk of the heavy coffee mug hitting my carpet and the sound of her door slamming marking her departure at almost the exact same time. I was rather grateful that the mug was empty, but my roommate’s reaction and sudden departure had me a bit worried. Hopping out of my chair, I hurried to Pinkie’s room and knocked, getting no answer at first. “Go ‘WAY!” I heard the plaintive cry from inside the room, urging me to knock harder. “C’mon Pinkie, what the hell is wrong?” “Lemm ‘lone, I-I’m, uhh... naked!” Again the plaintive wail. “Seriously, Pinkie. I’ve seen you naked it’s nothing new.” I sighed and banged on the door again. “Hell, you’re mostly naked all the time, so cut the bull and open the door!” I was greeted with silence from beyond the portal. After a few more minute of waiting, I finally heard the lock click on the door, as it opened a crack. “Louis, I’m scared.” Like a little child, the pink mares voice creeped through the crack in the door as a lone blue eye stared at me with an intensity that outshone even Pinkie’s normal manic nature. “Seriously, Pinkie. Stop fucking around and tell me what’s wrong. You want me to be your friend, but I can’t help you if I don't know what's wrong.” I growled in frustration, lowering myself to the floor to better look her in the eye. “P-promise you won't freak out?” she whispered to me. “I’m not gonna freak out.” “Please don't freak out.” “I’m not freaking out, Pinkie” I was however losing my patience. “Okay, as long as you don't freak out.” She mewled. “I’M NOT FREAKING OUT!” I bellowed. I had just about enough of her shit. “Sorry!” She flinched, and then slowly opened the door. “I...” She hesitated, losing her nerve. “Any day now, Pinkie.” I started to drum my fingers on the floor as I glared at her. “This better be good.” “I’m going into heat!” All in a rush she spit the words out like they were burning her mouth. I just stared at her and stopped tapping my fingers while she looked at the floor and rubbed a hoof on the carpet. “You what? Isn't that supposed to be months away?” I sighed, partially relieved that she wasn't dying or something tragic. Still unable to look me in the eye, she continued to worry a hole in my carpet with her hoof. “Yea, normally. But like my shedding, I think the change on climate has messed things up, and it's come early. And now I don't have time to get back to Equestria before I start going all crazy.” “Really? I’ve had a girlfriend before, they are all crazy at that time of the month, but it's nothing serious.” I rolled my eyes and leaned back on my hands. “Just take some Yourdol and stay away from the knives. You will be fine.” “No, no, no. It's much worse for ponies. Mares kinda go crazy until they find a mate. We will do anything, say anything. I totally lose control. It’s bad. Like Discord bad.” Her eyes began to get a bit of manic gleam to them as she started staring at me. “The douchebag god of asshattery from your world? I remember you telling me he turned your friends all emo.” I shrugged my indifference. “Doesn’t sound too bad to me.” “You don't get it! It can get really bad. Trust me.” She pleaded until I sighed. “Fine, so what do we do about it?” I threw my hand up in consternation, trying to appear like I was taking this seriously. I mean, how bad can it possibly get if they make a holiday around it? “Umm, you gotta keep me safe, keep me locked up, and whatever you do keep me away from any males!” She grabbed my shirt collar and wrung it desperately. “One problem Pinkie, I am a male, remember?” I raised an eyebrow that even Mister Spek would be proud of. Suddenly her eyelids drooped and a slow smile crawled across her face. It was creepy as fuck, as she leaned closer to me. “Yes, you are, aren't you?” Suddenly she leaned forward and planted a kiss on my lips. I tried to pull away, but she had an iron grip on my shirt, and suddenly it wasn't so damn amusing. I managed to get my feet up and push her away from me, knocking her back inside her room with a loud thud. Before I could get back to my feet, she was on hers and grinning madly at me. I did the first thing I could think of and grabbed for the door, pulling it shut just in time to feel the impact of my attacker shake the frame. “Pinkie! What the fuck is wrong with you?” Not the brightest of questions, with the answer being rather obvious, but I was in a bit of shock from being suddenly kissed by an oversexed pony. “Oh c’mon Louie! I know you want it.” I heard her breathy purr through the door. “I’ve seen the pictures on your computer of all the sexy mares!” A loud thump shook the door again. “What’s wrong, ain't I sexy enough for ya?” “Seriously Pinkie, knock it off. The only reason I have ever had that shit on my screen is because my asshole friend, Don, thinks it's funny to send me those pics.” Rolling my eyes I thumped back on the door with a fist. “I am not, never have been, nor ever will be attracted to ponies, or any other furry creature.” I sighed in frustration. “Okay, maybe some of those anime catgirls are a bit sexy, but that's where I draw the line, and I still probably wouldn't fuck one.” Probably. “Yoooou got the furry feeeeveeerr!” The deranged voice drifted from the room in a sing-song tone. “Loooouie has the fuuury feeeveeeer! And my booty is what he wants to saaaavooor! Taste my pooony flaaaavooor! COME ON LOUIE, LIGHT MY FIRE!” The tune ended with her beating repeatedly on the door. I took a step back, eyeing the door with worry. My father was an architect that grew up in the fifties, and used the bankroll from a few government contracts to build this house, and kickstart his career as a real estate agent. The house was built like a bomb shelter, and not much short of a blasting charge was going to break down the door. He taught me well that doors are always seen as the weak points in a defense. Everyone went for the doors, and only another engineer like him would think of walls as the real weak points in a building. And yet... the door shook violently in it's frame as the small pink mare jackhammered on it with her hooves. “Please Louie! I neeeed you! It’s burning me up and I need it sosososo very baaad!” Now gone from seductive, to crazed, and finally crying plaintively, her voice grated at me as the door shook. “I thought you were my friend, Louie! Friends help each other. Friends love each other. WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME LOUIE!” “Bitch, you are fuckin crazy if you think I am going near you. So just calm the fuck down and let me find a doctor, or a vet, or something.” I walked back into my room, and plopped down at the computer, and fired up Goofle. A quick search of ‘ponies in heat’ brought me nothing but porn. I mean seriously, what the actual fuck. Not even the drawn artwork that preceded the opening of the portal, but now real live pony porn, with real Equestrian ponies. Not all of the actors were ponies either. Apparently it was no longer being labeled as beastiality, but instead was being advertized as xenophilia. A quick side search found an article explaining how there were no laws yet governing xenophilia, although several religious groups were fighting tooth and nail to get them passed. Wow. Just fucking wow. Suddenly I notice that I have an email waiting for me, marked urgent. Who the hell actually marks shit urgent, other than spammers? Out of curiosity, I open it anyway, and my jaw slowly hangs open as I realise who it is from. Dear Louis,         You do not know me, but I have heard a great many things about you from my dear little pony, Pinkie Pie. She speaks highly of you and your friendship in this strange new world, and how you have welcomed her into your home. While all of my little ponies are special to me, Pinkie and her friends hold a special place in my heart and it would grieve me greatly if anything was to befall them. Pinkie in particular is a special mare in that she is a fragile being, driven by joy and needing friendship as much as others need air to survive. She is one of the most dedicated and loving beings I have ever met in my very long life, and I pray that you and her become the closest of friends.         That being said, we have come to a bit of a crisis. It has been brought to my attention that the change in climate has conspired with other factors in this alien world of yours to afflict my little ponies with a condition most dire. I paused to snort at this. “No shit, Lady.” While the condition will only be brief compared to it’s normal duration, it will be extremely severe due to being away from their home. I beg you to please do whatever it takes to help my little pony in her time of need, and to guide her through this crisis. “Dafuq?” She’s not saying what I think she is... Is she? I would never ask that you do anything that you would find distasteful or not feel comfortable with, but I do hope that you can find it in your heart to help the poor soul that has put so much love and trust into your friendship. “Aww fuck, she is.” I felt like channeling my inner black man with a mighty ‘Aww hell naw!’ However, if you find yourself unable to comfort poor Pinkie Pie yourself in her hour of desperate need, I have sent to you an alternative that should suffice to help her through her trial. The medicine should ensure a fast recovery, and allow the condition to pass after only a day, and the other equipment will allow Pinkie to relieve some of the suffering she is going through. Please get them to her as soon as they arrives.         I will be forever in your debt, as will Pinkie herself if you can find it in your heart to assist her this day. I assure you it will pass soon, and your bonds of friendship will be all the stronger for it. Best wishes and thanks, Princess Celestia Aurora Solis As I finished the email, a feeling of cold dread settled over me. The princess of the ponies was actually asking me to... What the fuck? And then the trickle of dread turned into fear as I realized that the room was quiet. I could no longer hear the cries or banging of Pinkies struggles in the next room. A chilling silence had descended and I felt the hairs stand up on the back of my neck as I slowly turned around in my chair. There was nothing there. “You smell nice.” I heard the voice in my ear as the warm breath crawled across the back of my neck. “What the fuck!” I jumped out of my chair, tripping over my own feet and tumbling onto the floor. I felt like a victim in some B horror flick as I rolled over and started crawling backwards from my attacker. What I saw made my blood run cold and I almost pissed myself in fear. Pinkie’s normal cheerful smile was now a massive tooth filled grin that looked as if it was trying to rip her face in half, while her normally curly hair was now straight and limp like some Japanese horror film ghost. But most shocking of all was her eyes. Now glassy and red from crying, the iris was all but invisible as they contracted to pinpricks around her pupils. Giggling madly, she advanced a step towards me as I tried to back away. “What’s wrong, Louie? Don’t you wanna have fun? You’re my only friend here, and I just love to make my friends SMILE!” With a lick of her lips, she tensed, and then pounced on me. I tried my best to fight her off, but she held me down as if I were an infant. With a swift motion, she grabbed my shirt in her teeth, and ripped it open with a jerk of her head, all the while holding me down as she sprawled across my torso. Slowly she dragged her tongue up my chest, and then viciously latched her mouth onto mine. I felt her tongue worm it’s way into my mouth, and she passionately molested my mouth for a full minute before pulling back with a wet pop. Oddly, all my mind could think was that she did know how to french kiss after all. As she leered at me, slowly wiggling her bottom and grinding into my waist, I tried desperately to find a way free. If she could hold me down this easily, then she could... That’s it! I suddenly had a plan. It was a long shot, but better than being held down and used against my will. “Pinkie, darling. I know how you like games, right?” I slowly drawled, trying my best to not let my fear show in my voice. “Uh-huh! I know all kinda games we can play. And I know just the toy I wanna play them with!” She leered even more creepily at me. “Well then, how about you get on the bed, and I can show you a really fun game.” It took my many years of sales and bullshitting experience to make my smile look genuine. With a high pitched girly squeal of glee, the weight disappeared off my chest and the pink mare landed on my bed in one bounce. She quickly fluttered her eyes at me, before striking several random seductive poses. “Okay now, lay on your back, and I’ll get the gear.” As she rolled over and complied, I heard her giggling madly. She kept squirming like a nipped-out cat, and I tore my eyes away to search in my closet. On a shelf was a box of toys that hadn't seen any action in years. My last girlfriend had tried to spice things up with a little try at BDSM, until I decided I wasn't into bondage, and she decided she really wasn't into me. Or guys in general. It ended badly, but she never reclaimed the toys. Out came several pairs of handcuffs, getting another squeal from the pony. I could see her visibly start to drool as I approached the bed, and the popping noise I had heard earlier returned. I kept my eyes on her, and tried my best not to think about it’s source. “Oooh, I like this game! Are we gonna play a little bad guys and good guys? ‘Cause I have been a really naughty filly, and need to be spanked really, really hard!” She crooned as she tried for more seductive posing. “Something like that. Now hold still while I get the cuffs on.” She just kept giggling as I secured all four hooves, using some rope to take up the extra slack between her smaller frame and the larger bed. Soon enough I had her good and secure, and for good measure, slipped a mask over her eyes. I was kinda wishing I still had the ball gag, but that had horrible things done to it after I loaned it to a friend for a bachelor’s party. “Okay Louie! I’m all ready for my spanking! And don't hold back, ‘cuz I like it rough!” More wiggling, which almost made me laugh, if only my heart wasn't racing from the adrenaline rush. “Sorry Pinkie, but I don’t take advantage of friends. You are gonna have to chill the fuck out. I’ll be back when you are thinking straight again.” I turned to walk out, dreading what was about to happen. “NOOOOO!! LOOUIE! DON’T LEAVE ME!” Her wail shook the room, and I started to worry about the neighbors calling the cops. “I NEED YOU! I NEED YOU SO BAD!” I could hear the bed protesting as she fought the restraints, but like my house, the bed was custom built, and solid reinforced steel. She’d need a welding torch to get it apart. Ignoring her cries, I closed and locked the door, glad that my dad had thought to put locks on both sides. I moved over to the other room, and saw the door was still closed, and opened it to look inside. There were substantial dents in the door and frame from the inside, but no cracks or signs of how she had gotten out. And then I facepalmed as I saw the curtains move. I quickly moved over to the window, finding it open, and the bars on the outside removed. Laying on the floor inside was a screwdriver, and several large screws, and outside I could see the bars laying on the ground. Well at least she didn't go through the wall. That's when I heard the doorbell ring, which was odd, because we didn't have a doorbell. I quickly ran to the front door, almost afraid to open it, but looking out the peephole showed a small winged pony in some sort of uniform. “Special delivery!” I was greeted as I opened the door. The beige pegasus was wearing a US postal service uniform, modified for his pony frame and wings. “Hullo! Special delivery for Pinkie Pie.” “The hell? What is it?” I couldn't help but notice his wings were drooping and he was covered in sweat. “Beats me, buddy, but the Princess herself paid me an extra hundred bucks to deliver it same day from DC. Just sign here.” As I signed, I couldn't help but imagine how hard it it must have been to fly the hundred miles from the capital in a day. “So, please tell me she also sent you to help take care of my roommate.” I hooked a thumb over my shoulder. “What? Who? Wait a minute, buddy. I ain't that kinda delivery guy.” he huffed indignantly. “I got a crazy mare tied up in my bedroom. She’s been trying to get into my pants all day. She could really use the help of another pony.” I tried my best to look forlorn. Pinkie chose that moment to make herself known. “I CAN SMELL YOOOOU!” The sound of her voice vibrated the windows, and really made my skin crawl. It had a manic edge to it like a deranged serial killer stalking her prey. The stallion’s eyes went wide and he stepped back. “You got a mare in there? KEEP HER THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!” And in a flash of fur and feathers, he was gone. “Huh, strange. Must be gay or something.” I muttered to myself, then turned to bring the packages inside. The smaller package contained a bottle with two iridescent pills inside, and a small note that read: ‘Take two, and don't call me. Ever.’ -PC I shook the bottle and then set it on the table before moving on to the larger package. The princess sure had a weird sense of humor. This one also had a card that read: ‘For treatment of heat symptoms, apply liberally to the affected area.’ -PC. Opening the larger box, I dropped it in disgust. Out flopped a rather disturbing silicone toy, about as big around as my wrist. It looked like one of the novelty adult toys that used to see on BadGriffon.com. Not that I shop those kinda places, but as I said, some of my friends have a fucked up sense of humor, and send me things. Like that time Don sent me the link to the Pinkie Pie toy after finding out Pinkie was living with me. Having seen the real thing, I was neither amused, nor impressed. Don't judge me! Fuck, I am not gonna think about pink pony poon. Fuck fuck fuck, now I was thinking about it, and the fact that it was tied up in my room. God dammit brain, what the hell is wrong with you? And on the subject of sick sense of humor, what the hell was wrong with the Princess? I can only hope that the cards were meant as an inside joke to Pinkie. Then again, if I lived as long as she claimed to be, I'd probably be pretty screwed up in the head too. So I gathered up the ‘medicine’ and made my way back to the room. Pinkie was still breathing heavily, and I was reminded of some of the exorcism movies I had seen. (The power of Penis compels you!) “Louie! I knew you would come back! Please please please untie me! I gotta itch soo bad and I need you to scratch it for me!” She panted like a dog and pulled against her restraints. I was glad to see she hadn't managed to hurt herself, and walked over to the computer, setting the packages down. Backing out of the email, I made my way back to the porn site I had found earlier. Setting it up to play, I muted the sound and turned back to Pinkie. “Stick out your tongue, Pinkie.” My eyes went wide as her tongue lolled out of her mouth and across her chest, and I quickly placed the two pills in her mouth. “Wha ish eet?” She slobbered. “That is a pill to help you get better. Now here’s some water to swallow it.” I tilted her head and flinched as the tongue snapped back into her head. She took a sip and smacked her lips, the pills vanishing into the void. Smacking her lips, she smiled at me. “Tastes kinda funny, but if you say it will help, I trust you Louie, because you are my best friend!” “Thank your princess. She send them, and she sent you another toy to play with that should help. Now stick out your tongue, but do not swallow this time.” Again the sarlacc pit opened and out came the tongue, I gently placed the next object on it and backed quickly away. “Wash dish uun?” Drool started to drip from her open maw. “That, Pinkie, is the key to the cuffs. Now I am going to step out, and lock the door again. You are going to stay in here and... oh shit.” I didn't get to finish, as she was already in motion, I lept back out of the door, and slammed the lock home just as the pony missile crashed into it. I was knocked on my ass by the impact, but the door held. “Looouie! Don’t leave me alone! I neeed yoooohhh! Look at her go!” There was a mad scramble and I heard my chair squeal in protest as she found the porn playing on my monitor. “Thank Celestia! I needed one of these!” I smiled, only able to assume she found the toy as well. The next moment, I started to back away as the the moans started, followed by singing. “It’s raining men, hallelujah! It’s raining men, from the sky!” “Really, Pinkie? I moaned, as I walked away from the noises, and into the living room. I could still hear her singing later, as the lyrics to “Touch Myself” wafted through the house. Grabbing the remote, I cranked the volume and plopped down to watch... an old rerun of My Little Pony. Today’s episode, ‘Hearts and Hooves Day.’ “Nope.” I quickly changed the channel to ‘International Photographic presents, the mating dance of the Wild Steppes Ponies’. “Nope!” I punched a random channel into the remote, and turned on ‘Touch of Pink’. “Oh come on! Now I know someone is fucking with me!” Finally, I found the horror channel and relaxed into a nice, boner-killing marathon of George Oregano zombie flicks, as I did my best to drown out the over enthusiastic sounds of sex emanating from my bedroom. It was gonna be a very long day. The next morning found me cooking breakfast as I watched the morning news. The problem with the pony visitors was not an isolated one, and it was making big headlines. Rainbow Dash herself was appearing to publicly apologize for her actions. “I would like to publicly apologize for the actions of myself, and my fellow ponies. We were completely unprepared for the changes caused by coming to your world, but this still does not excuse our behavior. I would like to apologize to the members of San Francisco’s 49ers for putting up with me in my time of need. Most of you guys were real troopers, and you really helped a girl out when I was at my worst. I would also like to apologize to the staff of the San Francisco Petting Zoo, and especially to Mrs. Johnson’s fourth grade class who were visiting that day. You sadly saw a side of me that nopony should ever have to see, and for that I am truly sorry. As has been ordered by the court, I am to perform public service to atone for my actions. Despite being an ambassador, and having certain immunities, It has been agreed that I still need to pay for my actions. Therefor I have agreed to serve the entire three month sentence given to me, in whatever manner the court decides. Once again, I am sorry. It will never happen again.” I chuckled to myself as the food finished and I started to place it on the table. Buckwheat pancakes headlined a meal, rounded off with real maple syrup and coffee. The smell must have summoned my pink companion, as I heard her shuffling into the kitchen behind me. She was walking a bit funny, and her mane was worse for the wear, but back to it’s usual curls. Another trip to the salon would most likely be in order. I had snuck in the night before after the noise had died down, and found her passed out asleep, hugging a pillow with a contented smile on her face. I left the door unlocked, and prayed that the princess had been true to her word about the crisis passing soon. Note to self, invest in a more comfortable couch. “Morning sleepyhead. Feeling better today?” I grinned cheekily. “Ow. I mean, really. Ow.” Pinkie winced as she pulled herself into a chair at the table. I slid a fresh stack of pancakes in front of her and pouring a cup of coffee before serving myself. We ate in silence for a while until both plates were empty, and the uncomfortable silence became strained. “I’m really sorry Louis” Finally the silence was broken, and I made my way around to her side of the table. “That was the worst it has ever been for me, and I totally understand if you are mad and don't ever want to be my friend again.” Unable to look at me, she stared at the coffee mug in her hooves. I just sighed and leaned forward to give her a hug. “Pinkie, I’m not mad at you. I’m not even upset, although you do owe me a new set of sheets after I finish burning mine.” “But I... and I almost... and you didn't wanna.” She floundered and looked about to cry again. “Forget about it. You weren't thinking right, and it would have been wrong for me to take advantage of you even if I was interested.” I sighed and pulled away to look her in the eyes. “I have done some pretty stupid things myself when I wasn't thinking clearly. I remember the time I woke up in a zoo surrounded by monkeys. I only got away with it because I was under aged and it was found that someone had drugged my drink.” She looked away, and muttered, “But you aren't interested, and you never will be.” Rubbing her nose with a sniffle, she looked back to me. “I kinda wished that you had. I really like you Louis, but I don't want to lose you as a friend.” “You won't ever lose me as a friend, Pinkie. I just don't feel that way about you, is all. You are like an annoying little sister to me.” I sighed. “I do love you Pinkie, but only as a friend, and I just hope that will be enough.” She seemed to cheer up, and the bright smile returned. “Thank you Louis, I accept your friendship!” And like that she gave me another Pinkie-level hug. “Thanks Pinkie. “ I managed to wheeze out, and the hug eased to bearable levels. “Uhh, Pinkie?” I muttered. “Yes Louis?” she replied, breathing into my ear as we hugged tenderly. “Could you please stop touching my ass?” “Oopsie!”