[Blazing's Entry]
After the unexplained disappearance of unicorn Twilight, Rarity got the ones caught in the crossfire to their homes and Sharp helped me wobble at slow pace to local library where princess Twilight is residing. The princesses are talking about the doppleganger threat right now and I'm enjoying some tea and biscuits, both Sharp and sweet.
The voice of my second self disappeared but now I have a new one, evidently my hollow head had enough space for anything to just move in.
Next time I should charge rent.
With the Nightmare celebration over, there is nothing to do except waiting for the princesses to call it a night and go back to Canterlot.
[End Entry]
"Are you okay?"
I lick my lips and finish scribbling into my diary.
"Are you okay?" repeats princess Twilight.
"Hmmm?" I mumble. My eyelids are closing by themselves, this really was a crappy day.
"You just took an unknown spell in the face. If you can't react properly I'll have to keep you here as a patient."
I have absolutely no desire to tell her about the voice. Not that I have no respect for the fresh princess of Equestria but I am just too tired.
"I'm fine, your Highness."
"Can you tell me what the spell did to you? I mean how it felt."
Twilight Sparkle is widely recognized as princess Celestia's star pupil as far as magic is concerned so making up the effects of the spell will probably be found out, moreso if somepony with no knowledge of said subject tries to do it. On the other hoof, I'm not feeling too anxious about spending the rest of my life in a padded cell.
"I felt my magic draining away and was crazy tired. The second thing may have had nothing to do with the spell though as princess Luna probably can tell you," I say, leaving out the unimportant details.
"You handled that pretty well. Most unicorns would have collapsed or died from such type of magic because their bodies can't deal with losing something so connected to their existence."
"As you can see, I'm pretty far away from being a unicorn despite starting that way and I've never had any kind of natural magical ability except for telekinesis. I can't even create light which is a basic thing even for fillies. No big loss there so I think my body didn't really care."
The surprised expression on Twilight's face is priceless. I must seem like a cripple to her, the bearer of Element of Magic. She begins mumbling some theories about draining magic and leaves me alone, it seems that her connection to reality comes and goes depending on her level of interest in something.
Her line of questioning awakened my curiosity and I turn my attention to one of the spell effects. Is the new crazy voice thing there?
Void will suffice, thank you. How can I help you?
Are you really a side-effect of unicorn Twilight's spell or just another fragment of my split personality?
I can assure you I am my own being and you did well to have kept me a secret. The alicorn would have killed you if you told her.
Is it that bad? I'm pretty sure the alicorn of magic would have just kept me around in a jar of something.
She is the alicorn of magic?
Yes, she turned into one few months ago.
That is... sad.
How come?
It means Magnus died.
Should I even ask?
It is nothing of concern to you. An old friend.
My condolences.
Everypony dies eventually, trust me on that.
So about the spell... ?
It is a dark magic supposed to drain life, will and magic from the target and upon its death summon a demon from Tartarus.
Wow, that sounds evil. Am I correct in assuming you are the demon?
Partially. You do not seem impressed though.
Firstly, I'm still not dead. Secondly, fearing for my life isn't really my thing anymore.
You could do me a favor and let me take over. I promise it will be painless.
Nah. Maybe after I screw up too much. What kind of demon are you anyway?
That would take too long to explain. Let us just say that Celestia will get some serious spanking when I get out.
I have to admit I'm slightly worried. Void seems way more pleasant than my own thoughts and he doesn't seem too eager on hurting me but that might change when we aren't within blowing-up distance from princess Luna. His grudge against princess Celestia matters little to me. When he comes out it means I'm dead and out of reach of revenge.
In the end both princesses come to a decision that to solve the doppleganger mystery they will need a bigger library and possibly somepony who didn't spend last millenium locked in a different dimension. The carriage awaits us in front of the library and we fly back at lazy pace. I have a problem though. Tonight's events mean that I won't have almost any sleep before I have to start my morning recruit lessons so I just try to rest as much as possible on the way. Thankfully, the other Nightguards managed to get a new carriage so I don't have to look down.
"We are glad you are all right," says the princess.
"Thank you. I'd rather eat my own leg than fly again though. Or fall down with somepony choking me to death."
"That's disgusting."
"Not with mustard."
"Pfff. What happened to the attacker?"
"No idea, I threw him to some rift in space or whatever and I believe he is dead... or serving as a marmelade substitute considering the effect it had."
"You have strange sense of humor."
"I'm just too tired, princess, and I have my regular duties in few hours."
I doze off.
"Mrmmf?" my eyes open when I feel a hoof prodding me.
"We are here. We will not ask you to accompany us to our chambers. Your duty is over for tonight."
"Oh right. Goodnight, your Highness."
The plan is to get home as fast as possible and pull off some two-three hours of sleep before heading back to the training grounds. Thankfully, walking through Canterlot streets isn't too dangerous even in the shadiest of its parts unless one is terminally unlucky or stupid. I consider myself both of those but the criminal underground is either on holiday or doesn't want to needlessly bother a Nightguard so I get home with no problems and drop on the bed even without drinking my 'medicine'. I'm out even before my head touches the pillow.
"KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK"
Please no! Whatever it is I don't care.
"KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK"
"This place is cursed. Go away!" I yell at the door.
This time I'm awake almost instantly. Sleeping for such short time leaves me surprisingly refreshed but I know that the meager two hours are not enough and I will pay for it later.
"Hey Blaze, let me in!" identifies the knocker as Choking.
Not happening, stay there and rot. Unfortunately I have to go to the castle pretty soon and she managed to wake me up with time to spare despite me forgetting to set the alarm clock. Perhaps I could have a breakfast?
I go to the bathroom and begin brushing my teeth. Risking my recruits suffocating by accident when I shout at them is not my idea of a good time.
"KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK"
I punch the wall and bite through my wooden toothbrush. There is no way around it, she's not going to go away and I have to open the damn door and release the ancient evil comparable to Discord in his flimsy days. I might be overreacing... just a bit though. I pray to both princesses I have enough strength to suppress the strangling impulse when I open the door.
"Hi Blaze, wanna go-"
She stops.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" she begins laughing crazily and I realize I still have the toothbrush in my sharp teeth and am trailing toothpaste. Still, my deranged expression turns into one of promised murder.
"I've heard of morning wood dripping white goo, heck I've caused it more than enough times but I think you're not doing it right," she points at my face.
My eye twitches. Must. Not. Kill.
"How are ya doing this mighty fine morning?" she winks at me.
Terrible and you aren't helping.
"All right. Thank you for asking," I say, frost forming on every single word.
"Wanna grab breakfast?"
Only if I can order poison. For you or me, doesn't matter which.
"Yea, sure."
"Awesome. I'll wait downstairs."
I could jump out of the window. There is some garbage under it so I might just break one or two legs and crawl away unnoticed. That might be worth it.
"I'll be there in a minute."
This time I have enough willpower not to slam the door. Logically I have no reason to be angry at Choking but logic and my current state after yesterday don't work well together. My guard armor got destroyed so I just clean myself a bit and go meet my 'favourite' batpony.
"You said something about breakfast?" I ask when I meet her outside of the apartment building where she's watching early rising ponies with interest.
"Yep! And to show how grateful I am for yesterday, I'm paying."
"Are we going to Joe's?"
"Mhm, I'm in the mood for something sweet. Let's roll."
We begin strolling lazily through Canterlot streets.
"You should watch your figure. All the sitting around in the office is making you pudgy," I take a friendly shot at her.
"We can't all look as slim, pretty and feminine as you, Blaze. Besides, real stallions like a bit of 'oomph' in their mares."
"The only 'oomph' coming out of them will be when your 'real stallions' break their kneecaps while picking you up."
The jokes aren't really fair to Choking. She usually spends a lot of time on my lessons and daily does some light exercise at the gym and if she meets somepony interesting then even some quite hefty bedroom exercise. Her job keeps her slim and her natural lean frame leaves her with a figure that catches one's eye without even trying. She really could have left out the 'sissy' jokes, it keeps catching on between guards and I can't beat up everypony.
"Oh don't be jealous, you'll find a nice stallion for yourself one day as well," my jab gets deflected easily by her.
Urge to kill... rising.
"Just for that, I'm ordering the biggest chocolate cake and shoving it down your throat," I push on.
"Is that a threat or do you want some more? I'm getting mixed signals here."
I hit her softly on the forehead. Winning against her is hard but I'm not going down easily.
"Clear enough for you?"
She pretends to be crying and between obviously fake sobs she pulls out a question.
"Why are you so mean to me?"
"Because I don't think mares like you should be in the guard."
"What?" the sobbing is gone, replaced by a disbelieving expression.
"I think with you being a guard, Equestrian theatre scene missed a real prodigy."
Totally worth it. For a second she actually believed that I'm some 'go to the kitchen and make me a sandwich' kind of guy. Before she can retaliate, Donut Joe's shop comes to view and we go right to the counter.
"What'll it be?" asks Joe.
"One coffee and a super-sized jelly king donut XXL. And for you, Blaze?" orders Choking.
"My usual tea and whatever the super donut thing she asked for was."
"Sure thing. Have a seat and I'll bring it to you in a sec," acknowledges Joe and leaves.
We sit down, waiting for Joe who comes soon with our drinks.
"You'll have to wait for the donuts though. Girls are still filling them in the back. It takes a big pump and some time."
"Thanks Joe, you're a miracle," I say after taking a sip.
"Sooo, how was the night with the princess?" asks Choking.
"Don't even ask. If I never see another alicorn again it will be too soon."
"You don't say. Was she mean to you or something?"
"Not her as such. Princess Twilight threatened to make me a study specimen."
"That's a hefty demotion."
"There was a downward direction involved in the event. Yea... definitely."
I continue.
"I got blown out of a flying carriage in the middle of the flight. Then I had to fight off an attacker who was hundred times better at martial arts then me, pull a mobile house for way longer than I liked and in the end face a wizard that made two princesses crap their pants, if they were wearing any."
"That's quite something."
We notice Donut Joe waving at us from the counter.
"You wouldn't let a small, weak and increasingly fat mare carry all that, right?" Choking nods at me.
"The exercise might do you good."
"True, but I might eat your donut by accident."
"How terrifying. I'm going, I'm going. "
It takes a while but the breakfast is served.
"Here you go," I give her the superdonut and breathe in relief as the thing was heavy enough to bruise my natural armor.
"Thanks," she digs in.
I finish off my tea and begin fighting the donut. It is filled to bursting with blueberry jelly and I feel buzzing with energy when I'm done with Joe's masterpiece. The colors around me suddenly seem a bit too invasive and bright, perhaps a sugar overdose?
"I must admit I had a second reason to invite you here," says Choking.
"You want to sell my kidneys on the black market and buy yourself a trophy husband."
"YOUR kidneys? Heavens no! Those things could be used as catapult ammo considering how much you drink."
"Well now I'm definitely going to say no."
"Pleeeeeeeease!" this time her angelic expression doesn't work.
"No, whatever it is."
"Pretty pretty please!"
I'm shocked to hear myself agree but with my fatigue gone after the breakfast I feel a bit more agreeable.
"Will you take over my graveyard shift today as well?"
You've got to be kidding me. I will die!
"Yea sure, whatever. Where?"
"Library."
"Fine. Walking six hours in a circle should be fun."
"I knew you would do it. I'll buy you something REEEEEEALLY nice for that, this time fo real."
"I'm going to pretend to believe that but we should go. If I'm not on time, my guys might get lazy."
"I doubt that. If you don't show up they'll just put a helmet on a stick to watch them and do their exercises by themselves. I've never seen such new recruits act so disciplined without some serious beating."
"I got a lucky draw, all real troublemakers ran away to Rising Thunder after first week."
She pays for the sweets and we get on our way to the castle.
"How was the party last night?" I ask, feeling a bit chatty all of a sudden.
"My night went definitely better than yours I must admit."
"Listening to somepony reading End User License Agreement would be better than last night."
"Heh. It was fun, I managed to score a date with a real prince."
"Shining Armor was there as well?"
"Nope, prince Blueblood."
"You're kidding, that halfwit?"
"He is charming, handsome and confident."
"And also dumb as a brick, trust me. I've stood guard on many garden parties and Grand Galloping Galas and there is a good reason that guy is still single."
I know I'm right but she doesn't take me crushing her dreams in the best way.
"Just like you," she stabs me in the back with that comment.
"That just shows I know what I'm talking about," I use her own defense against her.
"Say what you want but how often does one get a chance to speak to a prince?"
"Blueblood would try to pick a date with a cactus if you draped fancy robe over it."
"Don't be jealous."
"Jealous, who's jealous? If some tramp is so shallow and tries to score him just because he's a prince then she probably deserves him anyway."
My stupid mouth betrays me again. Apologize, now!
"Sorry, Chokey."
Better stick to the weather next time.
Her silence proves to me that I cut deep. I know she does have a problem with keeping coltfriends longer than through one night but a date with Blueblood will end in somepony crying. Most likely not her, but no reason to risk it.
Me and my big mouth...