[Blazing's Entry]
Protecting princess Luna on Nightmare Night...
... but what can realistically happen?
She is the best mage in Equestria. She is an alicorn which means she is stronger than normal ponies. She is going to a celebration where the Elements of Harmony will be as well.
So why am I feeling even more anxious than usual?
[End Entry]
Waking up twice in one day is a strange feeling even in familiar environment. Where am I? How come the wallpaper isn't peeling off and shows signs of... color? These problems deserve the attention of an oracle or my brain working properly might work as well. Alright, just get a feeling of what I'm lying on. It's soft, brown...
"OW!" I groan as I plant my face on the floor.
...and thin. I stare blankly at the brown couch. Everything hurts and the carpet under me feels sooooo soft and inviting. Mmmmm, too lazy to exist.
"BEEP BEEP BEEP"
I wave my hoof down where the alarm clock would be if I was in my bed. In this case I just hit the floor though.
"Die," I threaten the annoying machine. Unfortunately that doesn't make the noise go away.
"Whoa!" I twitch when I shift weight on the more bruised of my legs and the horrible pain wakes me up completely. The rest of my body suddenly thinks it's a good idea to join in and my groans of pain and coughing is something usually heard only in old ponies' home.
"BEEP BEEP BEEP"
The couch cushion thrown with the speed of an artillery shell is finally enough to stop the beep boop onslaught and I sigh in relief. Memories come back to me.
How does Choking still keep her job?
Hmm? I look around her office and both my selves can't believe the situation. I've never been here before because I usually don't bother Choking, she bothers me. After her promotion they gave her a really spacious and well equipped room, then she evidently... personalized it.
Choking loves music, at least that's what I think considering the amount of favors I did for her so she could go to concerts and it shows here. The walls are covered by a second coating of wallpaper reading anything from 'Cannibal Horse', 'Cradle of Hay', 'Screechlex' to 'DJ-PON3'.
"Huh?" I lean towards one of the more explicit posters.
The poster of Vinyl Scratch with spread legs and only headphones covering her bits is not something one could find in a standard office. Usually the only decoration revolves around one of the princesses, speaking of which...
"Uh oh."
I notice two red and blue posters right next to the door. Two princesses look at anypony leaving or entering the office. Princess Celestia with a positively insane expression has OBEY written on her poster while paper Luna's gaze is burning holes in the other poster with BIDE written below. In morbid curiosity I check out Choking's table.
Hey, an alicorn of spreading love is spreading a bit more here.
A framed picture of princess Cadence makes my blood rapidly relocate south. I lean closer, for science of course! The picture changes and I lean back and forth again, it seems that when somepony looks at the Cadence picture it changes to a second version... naughtier one, if that is even possible. There's no doubt the pony in the second picture is still princess Cadence but her propotions are so hugely overexaggerated it's more humorous than arousing. At least I hope it's an exaggeration otherwise prince Shining must have a really hard job in the bedroom. After a while I stop trying to understand the mechanics of the situation and leave the picture which I internally name 'A porcupine of horsedongs'.
I try to look around and ignore all pictures that would cause more blood to go on a vacation and find a fresh bottle of fruit juice Choking left there for me. The sun is setting so I don't have that much time and I drink it on the way to princess Luna's chambers.
"Blazing Light," says a deep, calm voice from behind me when I stand in front of princess Luna's door.
"Sharp Biscuit," I reply in kind without even turning around.
He snorts at the theatrics and shakes my hoof when I face him.
"How are the newbies?" he asks, smiling.
"Lazy. Sometimes I think we should make them carry coal around the castle. Or make me do it again so I don't have to deal with them. So what's going to happen now?"
He knows I don't mean it, partially.
"Well, there will be four of us. Two will be pulling the royal carriage, I will be outside on watch and you, since you can't fly, will be inside with the princess."
Perhaps she'll try to have a rest instead of engaging in a conversation with her subject.
"Great. What do we have to do anyway? I don't really see anything we could do in case something endangered a demigod like her."
"We are here mostly for things to look official. Princess Luna is well-known in Ponyville and the celebration is just for fun. We will probably just watch the princess enjoy herself and eat whatever candy falls our way. In case anything happens we just have to take the first blow and watch Luna demolish whatever attacked us."
"Sounds pointless."
"Traditional, friend. Traditional."
"By the way, why aren't the princesses going together? I suppose they don't have that much time to have fun as sisters."
"Nightmare Night has always been Luna's celebration and if you want more princesses there will be Twilight Sparkle on site."
"Any expected danger or reinforcements?"
"Calm down, Blazing. We know the area and Ponyville is a small and peaceful village."
I have a bad feeling about this.
We chitchat and wait for the princess to leave her room. Eventually there is a blue pony in silver regalia opening the door and we begin our trip.
It might not seem like it but I have deep respect for princess Luna. Her connection to her subjects is more personal than her sister's and where Celestia's loving and caring, perfect personality gives her an aura of distance, Luna's social awkwardness and flaws make her closer to a normal pony. I used to be terrified of her ability to see inside ponies but I'm a bit more in tune with myself now, despite all evidence to the contrary. I also don't give a flying fork about myself anymore so somepony digging inside me isn't a big deal after being a slave, and a meal, of queen Chrysalis.
We get inside a bat-decorated gloomy carriage fitting this night and it begins moving.
... I hate heights.
"Not the talkative type?" asks princess Luna.
"Sorry, princess. I get nervous when ponies take interest in me, especially royalty. Given my experience."
"We never got a chance to thank you for helping changelings during the purge of Canterlot."
"You had enough to worry about. Sharp told me stories about his friends dropping in the middle of a patrol."
"Speaking of which, you didn't seem to be afflicted by nightmares."
Yeah, because I'm mentally completely fine.
"I don't dream much so the only teeth I see at night are mine in a mirror."
"How come? Some of our ponies could still use tips."
"I-I drink a lot. Especially before I go to bed."
"That's an awful habit. You should get rid of it."
"Yes, I should."
The flatness of my answer doesn't dissuade Luna.
"Is there a reason for your drinking, young colt? Mares, perhaps?"
Because I'm a terrible mistake that exists only because condoms work only ninety-nine times outta hundred. And that was even before I became a freak of magic, or nature.
Yeah. Attempting to lighten the mood around me is not easy even for a demigoddess.
"Not really. I mean there isn't anypony who loves me but that's okay, I don't want to inflict myself upon anypony anyway."
"We've known you for almost two years. Why do you hate yourself so much?"
Lying to Luna is pointless...
"I left home because I didn't want to bother and hurt my parents anymore as I was just a parasite at that point. Then I came here and the first thing I had to do was to fight for my life and cause more pain to others. Then it showed that I'm a really good fighter so causing pain is the only thing I'm good at. Surprisingly enough, I almost caused Canterlot to be overtaken by changelings. I could go on."
"If we remember correctly you didn't have much choice in that matter most of the time."
"There is always a choice. I just usually took the one which left me alive without regards for anything else."
"We disagree."
"You might. I know my life though."
"Maybe you could-"
The air inside the carriage begins glowing gold and resemble floating sand.
"What's going on?" I ask and tighten my telekinetic grip on both my swords.
"A massive surge of magic is occuring nearby. It's familiar but-"
Something blasts through the door on Luna's side of the carriage and before I can even react it hits me and my stomach tries to leave via my mouth as I begin falling with something, no... somepony on me.
Behind the figure I can see the carriage continuing its path to the lights on the horizon.
Good. The princess is safe and this bastard has no idea who he's messing with.