I toss and turn in my bed, but sleep does not come to us. We are too troubled.
What if she finds me in my own dreams? What if she forces me to use my magic for more of her sadistic pleasures?
Much as we fear it, we cannot help but feel tempted to explore such dark explorations of myself. That, to me, is the greatest terror we can possibly imagine.
Her haunting of my thoughts stays my horn and my desire to sleep. We fear re-entering the realm of dreams and finding her there, waiting for me. Whether it is under my control or not, we know we cannot risk further destruction of our subjects’ most tender and heartfelt feelings.
Perhaps the young colt was right to run from the darkness. There is nothing to fear from it harming us, no—there is only fear in enjoying what it has to offer. We did not understand its temptation until we felt it, and now that we have, we savor every moment we spend swallowed by it... whether it be drowning an elderly pony or making a young filly feel worthless.
We do not relish these things as we are, no. We are certain that Luna is no monster. The darkness whispers seductively to us, however, reminding us emphatically that it has always been a part of me.
I surrendered my body to the darkness once. The consequence was a thousand-year imprisonment. If I am to become Nightmare Moon in the realm of dreams, I must never let my sister know.
How difficult can it be to hide such a thing from the sister who abandoned me in my prison without a single thought for my well-being?
My body may be black, but my eyes are pure white. This is for the good of the citizens of Equestria.
This, at least, is my justification as my eyes close and my horn flares with magic.
The dreams of the ponies we rule over are frustratingly blissful on this night. No nightmares plague the dreams of the citizens of Equestria. No misgivings drag at their spirits.
We have made up our mind. We crave the darkness. We wish to feel its seductive kiss and let it wash over us, doing what it wills us to do, taking us on a journey we thought ourselves too royal to handle before. Not only this, but it hardens the minds of all we touch, preparing them for a world in which not all is pleasure and relaxation.
Yet, we are confounded. Do we have the darkness within ourselves? Yes... but if we embrace it, we may become Nightmare Moon outside of our dreams. We really know very little of this, but—we are not prepared to risk changing our method to embrace the darkness just yet. There are too many variables.
If we do this for any length of time, we imagine that we will crave it too strongly outside of our dreams and will consent to its wiles once more. Yet... perhaps not. We will continue in our present direction regardless of what we may fear. This is... still my choice. Is it not?
We maintained our own thoughts against the darkness of Nightmare Moon for 1000 years. We will be able to deny her no matter how hard she may try to persuade us otherwise.
We are resolved—but we will find darkness in others on this night. We need only keep looking.
As this thought slips into my mind, we see the dark clouds manifest within a pony’s dream. Without hesitation, we dive to overtake it.
Immediately upon entering, we sense that something is amiss. The Moon hangs high in the sky above us, Her fair gaze watching us as we materialize. There is a familiar shape looking upward toward Her.
My sister. Have we entered my sister’s dream?
She is dreaming of the Moon. My sister cares not for the happenings of the night.
We saw the darkness in this dream. Is this my sister’s version of a nightmare? How insulting.
Her words, however, do not coincide with our thoughts. “I would beg, but I know that what’s done is done. I am helpless and alone, fair Moon. My sister is gone. I am unfit for this task. I did what I felt was best for Equestria, but lost the single most important thing in my life as a sacrifice.
“I beg you to have mercy on me this night and bring Luna back to me. She has been so distant for so long. All I need is my sister, and I will be happy.” The final words escape my sister’s mouth, seeming a polite stage act for us. It is as if she knows we are watching. She watches the Moon for a time, awaiting a response.
The Moon, in Her infinite wisdom, only stares back at my sister. There is no response, as expected.
My sister theatrically throws herself to the floor, a loud sob escaping her. She is pretending to cry to get what she wants; this is the noble ruler of Equestria for 1000 years that we are looking at, and she is whining like a filly because she did not get her way.
Equestria may be better to be rid of a weak ruler. This is our excuse.
My wings flap powerfully, carrying me to where the darkness manifests, hidden in the shadow of the Moon. Upon hearing us, my sister looks up in shock. “Luna!” she exclaims, her eyes following us closely as she rises eagerly to her hooves. There is hope in her eyes—she wants naught but her sister.
We do not want her in return, however. My sister is nothing to us.
We continue on our path, Celestia’s gaze faltering as she watches me bear down upon the shadow. She asks in shock, “Luna? What are you doing?”
We ignore her, reaching toward the darkness, which responds, lifting off the ground to funnel to my outstretched hoof. We absorb the dark powers, feeling a very familiar seductive whisper. It whispers promises of glory, of power... of acceptance. The opportunity to be the mare we have always hoped we could someday be.
Who would deny the desire for such things?
We welcome the darkness within my body, its comforting clutches overwhelming our senses and inducing waves of euphoria and anticipation of the coming experience. This is our world. This is my world.
My vision begins to darken, the shadows creeping over all. We can feel my hooves, my coat, my mane transforming, slowly becoming Nightmare Moon once more. My mind is still my own, but not for much longer.
From across the dream world, we hear a pained voice ask, “Luna?”
My eyes focus on my sister, tears streaming down her face as she watches the changes overtake my body. We know she is being self-serving, that she only wants what she thinks she deserves. I have never gotten anything that I have wanted. She would do well to learn this hard fact of life.
Why, then, does this cause us hesitation?
We can hear the voice whispering to us, its allure becoming stronger every moment I resist. I am refusing the bond.
My sister is a deceiver, a glutton, and a dictator—but she is still my sister. Do I not love her? Is she not the only tenuous grasp that I have on Equestria?
She lived 1000 years, alone, to save the ponies who needed her. Perhaps I was not imprisoned by choice, but I was unable to help my subjects when they needed it. My sister survived, she made Equestria strong, and she never held my weakness against me when we finally returned. Does she not love me too?
She could exile me. It is her right. I allowed the darkness to overtake me, and I had no choice.
Now I do have a choice, yet I have invited this foreign power to command me. I am Princess Luna, puppet of the dark powers which reside in the corners of a pony’s mind. I bring them to the forefront of all thinking, to strike terror into the hearts of all who would dare gaze upon me.
And I am alone. I am so very alone.
I do not want this. This is not who I want to become.
The darkness screams inside my head. This is an all-too-familiar sensation. It is too late, Princess! You have given yourself over to me once again.
I am helpless. I scream, a wail of rage, fear, and the final dying hope that I may have had a choice at all. Perhaps this is the final vestige of resistance I will ever be able to give. Perhaps this will be the final memory my sister has of me, of a broken and pitiful Luna.
When our own thoughts emerge, I am once again a visitor to my own mind. This is a remarkably similar feeling to when we tried to refuse the darkness at first—by embracing it, as we had in our last night foray, we had some illusion of control over what we were doing. Perhaps the darkness did as it pleased anyway, but we were able to convince ourselves that we were doing what we wanted by pretending its motives matched ours.
Now, we haven’t the comfort of such illusions. We are prey to the darkness. How pathetic.
Nightmare Moon opens her eyes, which are focused on the ground. They turn upwards, then narrow as they focus on my sister. Our host flaps her wings, several heavy beats sufficient to send her swiftly toward Celestia.
Her target watches the approach with resignation. She knows what is to happen, and she will not fight it.
The distance closed, Nightmare Moon lunges upon Celestia, bearing the large alicorn to the ground. There is no fighting, no struggle for the upper hand. She only lies limply beneath us.
Nightmare Moon stares into her eyes. “Fight me! Do not lie still in defeat, Princess of the Sun!”
“The fight has never been mine,” comes my sister’s reply. “It has always been waged by another.”
“Then why did you fight us before? Why not just die?”
“Because I thought myself a good pony.” Her eyes well up once more with tears. “Then I starved my nation. I took away everything they once held dear. I saw the Equestrian dream die, Nightmare Moon. I lost all that I held dear because of you, and so did every pony who suffered in the wake of your stealing my sister away from me.”
Nightmare Moon sneers. “She only did what she wanted in the end.”
My sister shakes her head. “She only did what she had to. You tricked her, lied to her about what you would give. She had every reason to resent me, just as I now resent who I became. I want to make it all right again.”
“It’s too late for that, Princess.” Our host lets out a short, barking laugh. “You’re going to die here, at my hooves, and it will be seared into your waking memory. You will always remember that your sister murdered you.”
“And so I atone for my crimes against my sister. I will never banish her again. I’m as good as dead without her anyway.” My sister takes a deep, steadying breath. “Perhaps I am more of a monster than you are. Perhaps Equestria will face a brighter age with my passing. If my sister so wills you to control her body, you may murder me. I have chosen for Luna for too long; it is time for my sister to choose for herself.”
“She made a choice,” Nightmare Moon states, her hooves pressing down upon my sister’s neck. “Now I will follow through with it.”
We watch helplessly as my sister’s breathing becomes labored, then gasping. The brilliant white hue of her face darkens, turning to a grey, then to a light blue, similar to my coat color. Her eyes flutter, trying to stay awake, as she tries to pull in tiny, rasping breaths to try to save herself for just a few moments longer.
These efforts prove fruitless. Celestia stops breathing, but Nightmare Moon remains, her hooves still pressed against my sister’s neck. Then, her grasp loosens, she sits up and surveys the fruits of her labor, and we feel several tears fall from Nightmare Moon’s eyes, splattering against my sister’s chest.
“Why, Celestia? Why did you even take this from me?” she laments to the bright light above. “I have waited so long for this moment... why do I feel hollow? I thought I’d finally won.”
You do not wish to kill her. You never have.
“Why, Luna?” she asks. “Why do I not want this? Why does it feel so... so wrong? Isn’t this what I’ve wanted to do all my life?”
She is your sister, too.
Then, we are repelled from the dream.
We are in the stream of subconscious. Nightmare Moon stares listlessly at the dreams below her, an occasional tear still traveling down one of her cheeks, all drive to incite darkness within the dreams of the sleeping Equestrians evaporated. We take this opportunity to break our magical connection to the world of dreams.
My eyes open to my bedroom. My face is wet, as are my hooves which I’d placed below my head.
I must go to my sister.