//------------------------------//
// 1st Card: Family 
// Story: Crisis of Infinite Twilights: Truth, Dare, or Drink 
// by CrowMagnon 
//------------------------------//

	For an organization like BUTTS, dedicated as it was to monitoring a mare who had once been the most powerful and potentially unstable unicorn alive (who had recently been granted godhood and political power... because reasons) it was vital to maintain constant surveillance. Naturally, such a state of vigilance resulted in a great deal of data being gathered on Twilight and the many strange phenomena which occurred around her. This data was all fed into a centralized office within BUTTS; the Aggregated Nexus of Unusual Surveillance.

Agent Coltson was a consummate professional, but even he knew that there was something horrible about the circular portal of wedge-shaped panels leading into the Nexus. Still, he placed his hoof on the scanner beside the door, and as the panels slid open, a blast of frigid air blew out of the sphincter-like portal.

From inside, Wall Breaker poked his head out. "Oh, hi Agent Coltson! What are you doing in this cold open? And by that I mean--"

"Yeah, I get it. It's... pretty self-explanatory," Coltson interrupted as he pushed past the Guard. "I'm here to get a copy of some security footage taken recently. You?"

Earlier...

"Thanks, Wall Breaker," Night Light said, taking his coffee from the Guard. Even if his son was the only one worth half a damn when threats to Equestria showed up, he could appreciate that they made good gofers. He took a long sip before suddenly choking and dropping the cup to the floor.

"What's the matter? Did they forget the cinnamon?"

Night Light shuddered. "My neural implant alarm's just gone off! Wall Breaker, there's been tampering in the Aggregated Nexus!"

Coltson blinked in horror. "Don't tell me there's been a security breach! There's so much sensitive information kept in there, if it got leaked..."

"What? Oh, no, don't worry about that. Your ANUS is still locked up tight. I haven't seen any signs of penetration or leaking. You're right, though, that would get messy, and probably create a huge stink."

Agent Coltson resisted the urge to slam his face against the wall. It was a mighty battle that would have inspired epic poetry if anypony could have seen the struggle within his mind. Eventually, he decided to simply return to the topic at hoof and asked, "... Okay, so then why did Director Night Light send you here?"

"That? Oh, somepony bumped the thermostat."

"... The director has a neural implant that only goes off when somepony messes with the air conditioning?"

Wall Breaker smiled cheerfully. "Yep! Apparently, every dad in Canterlot has one. Good thing, too. There are only so many homeless ponies for the Princesses to toss into the generator."

Coltson stared at the Guard for several seconds before shaking his head. "Ah, buck it. You want to come watch a video of Captain Sparkle flipping out?"

"DO I?"






Truth, Dare, or Drink
by CrowMagnon






Princess Aurora glanced around the table at the others. To her left sat Dusk Shine (and 'Twiley'), then Seafoam, Captain Sparkle, Green Lantern, Abstract Twilight and Faith, Twicora, and finally Zapapple.

Reaching out with her magic, the regal alicorn took the top card off of the 'Friends & Family' stack. As she had sorted the cards herself, she didn't really need to look, but did so anyway as she read out loud, "'Tell us a little about your immediate family.' Well, my closest family member is of course my elder brother, Prince Morning Star. Like the other gods of our world, we were given life and shape by the Creator, Vad Skypole." She paused briefly as Captain's eyes bugged out, and she started to sputter something out, only to rein it in as soon as she saw Aurora looking at her. Tilting her head in confusion, Aurora asked, "Is something the matter, Captain?"

Captain looked around the table at the other Twilights, much like a sinking mare searching for a life preserver. "Isn't anypony else going to react to...? I mean... it's..." Seeing that none of her counterparts were reacting to Aurora's claims with surprise, her ears flattened and she hung her head. "No, I... I guess we're all going along with it... Sorry for interrupting."

Leaning away from Captain, Seafoam whispered to the other pony next to her, "Captain's kind of got mood-swings, doesn't she? Mare should get some help for that." Then she remembered that her other neighbor was Dusk, who nodded to her while cradling the bag of flour with Twiley's face drawn on it. Sitting up straight, Seafoam reminded herself, "Right... all ponies are crazy."

Aurora coughed daintily as she got herself back on track and resumed her story. "Well, as we are all children of the same 'father', the rest of the gods are our brothers and sisters, but I wouldn't say that we're a particularly close family,except for Fuzzy Thinker, the god of the griffons. He raised us until Morning Star grew old enough to take Equestria back from the chaos which had claimed it at that time, so we consider him more a kindly uncle than a big brother. Aside from Morning Star, I also have Princess Cadance, whom father created after I was forced to banish my brother into the sun." Aurora smiled fondly, her eyes focusing on a point immediately in front of her as if she were reading her memories like a book. "Raising my little sister gave me much-needed purpose beyond the detached, rote mechanics of ruling Equestria, and her boundless love helped me to open my heart to my little ponies despite the despondency from losing Morning Star. There are others whom I love as though they were family, and one in particular who I'm sure will be joining the family soon enough, but we'll get around to them sooner or later."

Turning to the stallion to her left, Aurora nodded her head. "And I would say that sums it up. Your turn, Dusk."

Dusk Shine nodded and addressed the mares surrounding him. "Okay, well... not much to say, really. Like most of you, I was born a unicorn, so my family's pretty normal. My dad, Star Shine, is a novelist, and my mom, Moonlight, has a government job." He screwed his face up as a realization suddenly dawned on him. Looking around at the training room, he mused, "Now that I think about it, if I really am the gender-flipped version of this universe's Twilight, then that probably means her job is running an agency to spy on me... I wish I hadn't thought of that... A-anyway, aside from them, there's my BSBFF, Gleaming Shield. She's married to Prince Bolero, the alicorn god of love, and I don't know if in-laws count, but he was my foalsitter and a real big brother figure to me when I was young. And finally there's my daughter."

"DAUGHTER?!" The combined shout of the surprised mares and one abstract nearly sent Dusk flying back into the far wall, but he managed to brace himself so that he only ended up flopping over onto his back.

To the surprise of most present, Faith's reaction was more anger than surprise. Practically snarling at the other stallion, his metal wings flared threateningly. "You have a filly, and you've just been sitting here with 'Twiley' this whole time instead of tearing apart heaven and earth to get back? What kind of father are you?!" Pushing himself to his hooves, he made ready to launch himself at Dusk with violent intent before the magical aura of his companion surrounded him.

"Faith! Sit. Down," Abstract Twilight commanded, using her magic to yank him back down onto the cushion so that she could stare him in the eye. "Just because you're still hurting over what she did to you, that doesn't give you an excuse to throttle anypony!" Seeing the others now staring at them, Abstract Twi sighed. "Sorry, Faith's just got some... abandonment issues. Family's a tender subject. Dusk, please tell us about your daughter."

For his part, Faith allowed himself to get reined back, if only to give Dusk the opportunity to justify his apparent apathy. That didn't stop him from looking as though he was preparing to shoot murder-beams out of his eyes if he didn't like what the alicorn prince had to say.

Dusk pulled himself back up and hugged the flour bag more tightly. "It... it's not like I don't want to get back to her," he insisted. "I just know that there's nothing I can do until Rolla-- I mean Scootaloo and the others come back! Besides, Rollerbelle's not like pony fillies. She's--"

Once again, Dusk was interrupted, this time by the door getting opened by what appeared to be a two foot tall salt shaker with a toilet plunger sticking out the front of it. Gliding toward the group, it looked at each one through a small telescope sticking out of the dome on top of its conical body and waved its plunger before addressing them with a stilted monotone.

"Hello, every-pony! My name is Rollypolly! Grand-ma Velvet wanted me to introduce myself, and ensure that you had adequate sus-tenance! Do you require snacks?"

Everypony stared at the baby Dalek, and Aurora idly picked her stacks of cards up off the table while Captain Sparkle slammed her head against it. Immediately, the baby dalek perked up and rolled over to her.

"Mother! You have returned! But how... oh, my apologies, Captain Sparkle. I was momen-tarily overcome with how similar your technique is to mother's."

Dusk looked to Faith and gestured toward Rollypolly with his hoof. "So... yeah, if he's here, then I'd say Rollerbelle is doing just fine on the other side."

Taken aback, the abstract simply stared and let out a small "Huh."

"My apologies for interrupting your game! Should I tell Grand-ma Velvet that snacks are not required?"

"Perhaps in a bit, thank you," Princess Aurora said, smiling down at him. "It's very nice to meet you, though, Rollypolly. Would you like to sit with us for a bit while we continue?"

The dalek focused its viewer on Aurora for several seconds before rolling over toward her. "Affir-ma-tive," he declared, drawing a tinkling laugh from her as she wrapped a large wing around his metal shell.

The mood having calmed down, Aurora nodded to Dusk. "Now then, you were telling us about Rollerbelle?"

"Oh, right! Well... I was caught up in this whole thing where everypony I know was telling me their insane theories about Rollalong's secret origin. Your guys' version of him is that Scootaloo filly, by the way. So this male version of The Professor, a time-traveling alien from my universe, shows up and drags me into protecting his world from a dalek invasion. Long story short and skipping the stupid parts, while we were on their ship, Rollerbelle and I bonded, so I took her from her people and adopted her as my own daughter."

Faith coughed when his companion elbowed him in the ribs, but he looked a little sheepish as he said, "Well... that's really not what I was expecting. I apologize for flying off the handle like that, I didn't realize your situation was so... unique."

"And a new rule," Aurora added with a stern touch of iron to her motherly voice. "The next time one of us does 'fly off the handle', they will incur a double penalty." She smiled sweetly, but in such a way that no creature around the table had any doubt that discipline would be strictly enforced. "Just to keep things civil, okay?"

They all quickly nodded in agreement. "And I'm done... Seafoam?"

The capricorn nodded. "Well, I don't have any gods or... whatever that is in my family tree," she said, pointing toward Rollypolly. "My father, Angler Lamplight, is a scout in Lord Tydal's army specializing in deep-sea reconnaisance." She smiled fondly and toothily as she reminisced. "He's always telling stories about the strange and unique creatures he encounters down there. My mom's name is Twilight Velvet. She used to be a pony, but fell in love with my dad so Lord Tydal transformed her into a capricorn. Now she works primarily as a chronicler, recording the deeds of our people."

"As for my brother, Terrapin..." Seafoam sighed and shook her head. "For whatever reason, he was always infatuated with the stories mom told about ponies. I guess Miss Prissy must've needed a few real soldiers in her ranks, because Celestia took him away and turned him into a unicorn... Ugh, we had such a big fight when he moved out. He even changed his name to 'Shining Armor' to be more like a pony! We didn't even talk until right before his wedding to that scrawny, glittery piece of leg-candy, 'Cadance...'"

The way she spat out the alicorn of love's name, it sounded like a curse word coming out of her mouth. Recalling that the name had come up before, and in what context, she looked to Aurora. "Oh, right, she's your little sister. Some offense."

"Some taken," Aurora replied good-naturedly. "Did you manage to make up?"

Seafoam sighed. "... Yeah, sort of. I mean, he's still my brother, and I love him, and all... I just don't get him! Why would any capricorn want to be anything else? I just don't understand why he wanted to get away from us so badly..."

"I doubt that he wants to put you on a shelf," Twicora supportively offered. "Far more likely that he simply felt he needed to find his true self."

"Yeah. An' his 'true self' is a no-good Canterlot snob," Zapapple groused. Leaning toward Seafoam, she asserted, "Anypony that won't stand by their family ain't worth frettin' over! If he wants ta leave fer some stuck-up bimbo, you tell him not ta let the door hit his plot on the way out." To Aurora, she added, "All the offense," which caused the regal alicorn to raise an eyebrow.

Seafoam smirked appreciatively in Zapapple's direction. "Heh, well, that's it for me. Captain?"

Captain Sparkle groaned and pulled her face up off the table. She cast a leery glance toward Rollypolly, then shook her head before addressing the others. "Right. Well, my mom, Twilight Velvet, is a novelist. My dad, Night Light, works for the Civil Service Bureau. His devotion to public service rubbed off on me and my big brother, Shining, who is the youngest soldier to make Captain of the Guard in Equestrian history."

Whatever had been upsetting her about the previous 'Twilights' and their stories, it slowly melted away to be replaced with pride as she reminisced about her family. "He's a lot like the one in this world, really. Strong and noble, but humble and devoted to serving Equestria. And he always supported me when I decided I wanted to join the Guard with him, helping me train my body and magic before I enlisted. Honestly, the biggest surprise I had when I met this world's version was finding out he was married to Princess Cadance instead of Luna."

GL blurted out, "No way! You mean there's a world where my BBBFF and Cadance aren't the most sickeningly meant-for-each-other couple in existence? Well, aside from the one where they're brother and sister. Biologically," she added, cutting off Zapapple before she could say anything.

Captain shook her head. "No, and don't get me wrong, I like Princess Cadance based on the couple of times I've met her. My brother's just been smitten with Princess Luna since we were foals, hearing the story of how she was trapped in eternal sleep for a thousand years. Heh, I'm sure part of why he joined the Guard was because he wanted to be her hero. He's always been a hopeless romantic, so I was really happy when I found out it worked out for him. Maybe your brother's just too much like mine in that regard, Seafoam?"

The capricorn snorted, but did seem to warm to the idea as she admitted, "Well, Terrapin always was a softy."

Captain smiled a little and turned to the ring-bearing mare on her other side. "Your turn, GL."

GL grinned. "Well, my parents aren't much different from Captain's. As far as my Shining goes, he's married to Cadance, and like me they both have power rings tied to the emotional spectrum. Unlike mine, which taps into the green energy of willpower, Shining's is connected to the blue energy of hope, and Cadance's to the violet energy of love." Turning to Faith and Abstract Twi, she shrugged. "Not much else to say, other than I love my family. Your turn, guys."

"Dare," Faith replied without a hint of hesitation, causing his companion to roll her eyes.

"So you're going to wimp out on the very first question? You big baby," she teased, shaking her head with a smirk. "Well, I've got nothing to hide, here. I have a good relationship with my family. We had a massive blow-up around the time Shining was supposed to get married, and I'll admit I have my share of the blame for that, but we worked things out since then and there isn't really anything else to say."

Aurora tilted her head and asked, "What about Faith?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you two are so close, you're practically soulmates," Aurora replied with a smile. "I just couldn't help but wonder. Are you a couple, or is it more of a brother-sister relationship?"

Abstract Twilight's eyes went wider at the alicorn's question, and while the others were left wondering which insinuation was causing her more shock, she turned to her partner and stared at him for several seconds before hanging her head and muttering, "...Dare."

Laughing softly, Aurora reached for the top Dare card with her magic and levitated it over to the metal-winged duo.

Faith chuckled at his companion's change of attitude until they looked at the card and read what it said. Abstract Twilight's jaw dropped, and she told Aurora, "You are a sadist."

"Well, she is 'you,'" Faith reminded her. "So you only have yourself to blame. Is it too late to take a shot?"

"I'm afraid so," Aurora replied with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "The card's orders are absolute. So, which one did you draw?"

The two of them sighed simultaneously, then took a step back away from the table and faced each other. After giving each other a resolute nod, they began doing a little dance.

"Sunshine, sunshine
ladybugs awake!
Clap your hooves
and do a little shake!"

The crowd around the table immediately exploded into laughter, with all but Seafoam, Twicora and Zapapple instantly recognizing the silly little song and dance, and those three guffawed loudly over how silly they looked wiggling their rumps at each other. Several whistled and made cat-calls while staring at Faith's backside.

Dusk snickered and shook his head. "Wow, I had no idea just how dirty that looked until I saw mare-me doing it."

Abstract Twi picked up on that as she and Faith sat down and asked, "Wait, you know that routine, too, Dusk?"

"Of course," the stallion replied. "It's the special greeting Prince Bolero and I have. We do it every time we get together. Why?"

Dusk suddenly realized that he'd drawn the attention of every mare present. Some of them were blushing, some looked horrified, and the remainder were both. "... What? Come on, it's just a silly greeting between two guys. Why are you looking at me... like... that...?" He slowly trailed off, his mind rather abruptly piecing together that he was among ponies for whom gender dynamics were in many ways opposite, and throwing images of mares wiggling their tails at each other into the forefront of his brain.

While Dusk started turning beet-red, Faith loudly interjected, "Moving on, now... I believe it's Twicora's turn?"

Twicora cleared her throat as she tried to stifle the last of her giggles. She then sat up straight and placed a hoof over her chest as she began to rhyme. "By my parents, I was told that on the year that I was foaled, my father was tasked by Celestia to serve as a diplomat to the nation of Zebrica. Alongside him, my beloved mater volunteers to help poor villages which have no water. As those before have said, my brother is also a noble sort, though his talents are turned less toward war, and more toward sport. Though his skills on the gaming fields are not to be taken lightly, he is known by the jocular nickname, 'Mighty Whitey'."

Captain asked, "So he's an athlete? What does he play?"

"The game is called 'Vita', and the comparison should suffice. It is much like your hockey, but obviously not on ice. Zebras move a ball about the field by striking it with clubs. Needless to say, the players take many drubs. Though from the grassy plains to the desert sands, most of the violence is among the fans."

Princess Aurora interjected, "Oh my, that sounds rather hazardous. Are you alright with your brother playing such a violent sport?"

Twicora laughed. "As much as any of you might be with him putting on armor to face Equestria's enemies." To Zapapple, she said, "And at last it comes to your turn. Is there anything more about your family that we might learn?"

Zapapple tilted her hat back and replied, "Not much else ta tell! Fer those of you who ain't heard the story, Ah was adopted by the Apple family when Ah was a newborn. Ma and pa were the best parents ever. Pa was this big ol' giant of a pony. A lot lahk Big Mac is now, but... moreso. He was quiet, but not 'cause he didn't feel comfortable talkin'. He jus' had so much presence, he could fit a whole speech's worth o' meanin' into a few words."

The earth pony smiled and closed her eyes. "Ma... Ma was fancy. She was one o' them ritzy Orange ponies from Manehattan, an' everypony always kept tryin' ta figure out how a classy lady lahk her ever found herself givin' it all away ta be with an apple farmer. Hay, even Ah didn't get it fer a while. One day when Ah was jus' a tiny thing, Ah asked her, 'Ma, why're you an' Pa together if'n yer so different?' An' she says,"

At this point, Zapapple cleared her throat and did her best to affect a posh Manehattan accent. "Zappy, dear, you're trying too hard to compare us based on what you see on the surface. But whether on the farm or in the city, our hooves walk upon the same earth, and our roots reach deep underground. You might look at us and see an Apple tree and an Orange tree, so different that they could never stand together, but if you look deeper, into the heart of the earth, you would see our roots... our souls intertwined."

There was a moment of silence around the table before Faith voiced what most of them were thinking. "Your mother certainly had a way with words. It sounds like she could have been a poet."

"Heh... that she did... Passed away, both of 'em, not long after Ah got mah cutie mark. Freak storm outta the Everfree hit real sudden-like while they was workin' the far north orchard. They... they got caught up in a flash flood. Weren't nothin' anypony coulda done. After that, it was Granny an' Big Mac, the oldest of us, who took the reins raisin' the rest of us. Applejack an' Ah, we were 'bout the same age an' helped out best we could. 'Specially when it came ta raisin' li'l Apple Bloom. She was jus' a foal back then, barely able ta walk straight."

Zapapple grinned widely. For a number of the ponies gathered, it was the first time they'd seen a genuine smile on the rather surly farmer's face. It didn't last long as she added, "And if'n ya heard it from any o' these others, yes, it's true Ah married Big Mac. He's the best pony Ah ever could'a hoped for, so any o' you pretty purple princesses got anything ta say about it?"

As cast a challenging glare at the unicorns and alicorns, Aurora replied, "Only that I'm flattered you think I'm pretty, and happy that you found true love. Trust me, after having to deal with the nobility since the classical era, your relationship is far, far more wholesome than many I've seen."

This caused Zapapple to pause, deflating slightly without anypony present trying to get on her case about it. Unfortunately, this gave GL, who hadn't heard the entire story, a chance to ask, "What about your biological family?"

"... What about 'em?" Zapapple asked harshly.

Despite Twicora and Captain frantically shaking their heads and waving their hooves around to stop her, GL asked, "I was just wondering, because you didn't mention them at all. Do you know how you lost them?"

Zapapple ground her teeth. "Ah didn't. Ah never lost 'em. Ah never even knew who they were 'til Ah came ta this world an' met their doubles, seein' as how they threw me away fer bein' born without a magical purple boner stickin' outta mah skull!"

The look on Faith's face was just as aghast as when he had first heard that Dusk Shine was a parent, and the only reason his companion didn't hold him back was because she was as stunned as he was.

Similiarly shocked, Seafoam asked, "They abandoned you... just because you're an earth pony?"

"And your Sunny... I'm sorry, I mean your Celestia allows this?" Aurora asked. Her tone was as calm as usual, but something in her voice had a chilling effect on the rest of the room, and the lights themselves seemed to dim as though the area around the table was being partially transported to the dark, cold blackness between the stars.

Summoning up her quill and another index card, Princess Aurora wrote down a memo to herself, ensuring that she would remember to devote a portion of the annual budget to research on inter-dimensional travel. At the end of the memo, she wrote, 'Teach Sunny's double a much-needed lesson.'

Once she was done, the room returned to normal, and Aurora smiled sweetly as she dispelled the writing implements. Zapapple didn't really notice, though. She just told the group, "Anyway, Ah don't care! Ah came out of it better'n most. At least Ah'm alive, an' got taken in by a real family. Now, Ah answered the dang question on the card, so it's mah turn ta draw!"

With that, she reached a hoof out toward the stacks.