The Decepticons were a well-organized unit, so they acted quickly. The Combaticons, in particular, responded to Barricade's broadcast and were quick to arrive on the scene. Under Onslaught's direction, they put out the fire, dragged Barricade to their in-house medical bay, and reported the incident to Shockwave by going around the hallway from the other side.
A meeting was set-up in the Tower with the other race leaders. Obviously Celestia, Optimus, and the human ambassador couldn't drop everything they were doing to visit Shockwave at the drop of a hat, so the Combaticons set a video conference in a meeting room.
Multiple windows opened on the computer terminal they were using. One showed Optimus' face, concerned and frowning. One showed Galloway's disapproving face, and the last showed Princess Celestia sitting on a velvet cushion with Twilight next to her, who had been Space Bridged out from the Tower to help her less tech-savvy mentor operate the machinery.
"So I just . . . stand there and they can see me?" Celestia asked, narrowing her eyes at the screen.
"Yes." Twilight said. "We've been over this."
"And it . . . records my movements and transfers it to them?" Celestia waved her hoof, testing the device.
"Yes."
"And my voice? It records my words?"
"Uh-huh."
" It records my words accurately?"
"Yes!" Twilight smacked her hoof against her face. "Okay, Princess, you know how a telephone works, don't you?"
"Yes?"
"It's like that. Just like that." Twilight said. She turned towards the screen. "Sorry, everypony. Most of Equestria's technology is either operated or powered by magic, and it doesn't really have anything like this. She's new to this whole "alien tech" thing."
"That's all right." Optimus said, before focusing on Galloway. "Director Galloway, what are you doing here? Shouldn't an American ambassador, not a Security Director, be here?"
"Well, he was." Galloway said. "But he called in sick, so I'm filling in for him."
"Why do I not believe that?" Celestia asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You can believe whatever you want to, dear." Galloway replied, uncaring.
"’Dear’? Why you, I’ll have you know-"
"THANK YOU all for your speedy reply to my hails." Shockwave said, interrupting before Celestia and Galloway could escalate. "I believe you have all been informed of the situation?"
"Yes." Optimus answered. "I believe an Aerialbot infiltrated your Tower, and then activated a bomb in a hallway on the upper floors that nearly killed your officer Barricade?"
"That's correct."
Celestia gasped while Galloway leered.
"That's terrible!" Celestia exclaimed. "Optimus, what reason would you have for ordering such an attack!?"
"Yes, Optimus." Galloway smugly added. "What reason?"
"I ordered no such assault." Optimus said. "This Aerialbot was acting either out of his own interests, or that of an unseen party."
Galloway scoffed. "Oh? Really? What interest might that be?"
Optimus let out a heavy vent. "Not all Autobots are welcome to the idea of coming to peace with the Decepticons. We have been at war so long, and the Decepticons committed numerous atrocities in the name of victory. It is not unreasonable to think that some Autobots would be willing to give their lives to disrupt the peace and continue the war, if only so they do not have to share quarters with the Decepticons. Is Barricade all right?"
"The Combaticons were able to bring him to our medic, Flatline." Shockwave said.
Galloway sputtered. "Wha-what!? A medic named Flatline? Do you realize how . . . unreliable that sounds to a human's ear?"
"Director, please." Optimus asked. "We do not make fun of human naming conventions. I ask you do the same for ours."
"Oh?" Galloway laughed. "What's there to mock about human names?"
Optimus rather mischievously raised his brow at Celestia. "Princess, if you would?"
"What kind of name is Galloway?" Celestia mocked. "I mean, what does it mean? Galloway? What, are you some sort of Gall of the Way? Gall of the Ways? Hey, isn't "gal" an earth word for girl? Does that make you a girl of the way? Gal of the Way?"
"All right, all right!" Galloway protested. "You've made your point."
Celestia and Optimus smirked.
"Now, we have nothing to gain and everything to lose if a few grudges lead into the Great War starting back up again. We must discover the reason for this Aerialbot's suicide bombing, and if he was working with any partners. We also must determine – Shockwave, are you still there?"
"Hmm?" Shockwave questioned, his head resting on his hand. "Oh, yes, still here."
"If the Autobots are out of your control, Optimus, you better do something about it." Galloway warned, pointing a finger. Optimus pouted, but before he could reply, Onslaught burst into the room.
"Report!" Onslaught said, marching towards Shockwave. Onslaught nodded his head respectfully towards everyone. "Prime. Lord Shockwave. Princess. Human whose name and title I don't know or care." Ignoring Galloway’s responding huff, he continued, "My Combaticons and I have been examining the crime scene, and we have made a discovery."
"What would that be?"
"Do you have any information on the Autobot who triggered the bomb?"
"Oh." Onslaught said. "About that. There was no Autobot that triggered the bomb. There was never an Aerialbot in the room."
"What!? But then who-"
"Perhaps I misspoke." Onslaught said. "It wasn't that there was never an Aerialbot in the room . . . but in my experience, most Autobots who get blown up by bombs don't leave charred, black pony-sized skeletons behind the rubble."
"What!?"
"The perpetrator of this crime was not an Autobot." Onslaught said, producing an electronic tablet. The tablet showed a photograph of the crime scene. In it, there was rubble tossed about the Tower's ground floor. Mixed into the rubble was a coal-black skeleton of a pony-looking creature. "But a Changeling who was imitating one with its magic."
Galloway raised an eyebrow."I thought you had captured all the Changelings, and they were being used to power Cybertron?"
"That is incorrect. While my Combaticons have captured a high population of them – estimated around two-hundred fifty thousand at last count – it's not impossible there may still be some running loose."
Celestia was shocked by the news. "TWO-TWO HUNDRED FIFTY -" She put her hoof to her chest and started hyperventilating. Twilight patted her mentor's back.
Galloway didn't seem at all happy to hear this. "So it's possible Changelings may have already infiltrated your society? Infiltrated our society?"
"Galloway, please." Optimus pleaded. "One crisis at a time."
"I have prepared a preliminary report for your viewing, Lord Shockwave." Onslaught said, presenting the tablet to Shockwave. "Lord Shockwave? Hello?" Onslaught waved the tablet in front of Shockwave's face.
"Get that out of my sight!" Shockwave said angrily, batting it aside. "You're blocking my view of sweet Twilight."
"Oh, okay . . . no, wait. What?"
Twilight chuckled. "Oh, Shockwave, you charmer!" She looked at him amorously. "What a handsome devil, isn't he?"
If awkwardness was a tangible thing, it would be flooding the room right now.
"What." Celestia said flatly. The sentiment was silently echoed by everyone else in the room.
"I mean," Twilight continued, "Look at that one red eye! Those head fins! And that big cannon, mrrreeow!"
"Oh, Twilight, stop!" Shockwave said with a chuckle.
Optimus raised his browplate. "Princess. Are you . . . certain Twilight Sparkle is in full possession of her faculties?" Optimus turned his gaze towards Shockwave. "For that matter, is Shockwave?"
"Let me check." Onslaught waved his hand in front of Shockwave's face. "How many fingers am I holding up?" Shockwave ignored his questions and pushed him aside again.
"Oh, Twilight Sparkle . . ." Shockwave whispered huskily. "You have the cutest little cheeks. I just want to take my claw and pinch them!" Twilight giggled.
“What,” Celestia managed a third time. No one cared.
"Okay." Onslaught said. "This just got weird." Onslaught pointed his thumb the door. "I'm . . . I'm gonna . . . I'm gonna go crime scene, yeah." Onslaught sped out the door, eager to get away from the creepiness which had gotten so bizarre it was affecting his ability to form complete sentences.
"I suggest the meeting conclude." Optimus politely offered, giving a concerned gaze at Twilight. "Mostly so Celestia can figure out what's wrong with her student."
"Concurred!" Galloway stated quickly. Celestia continued to stare at her formerly innocent student with a shell shocked expression.
"Byeeee!" Twilight waved at Shockwave.
"Goodbye to you too, my sweet." Shockwave replied, waving back.
"Ugh." Celestia spat her tongue out in disgust before Twilight turned the device off.
On Equestria, the influence of the love potion was making Twilight still fantasize about Shockwave, but even that couldn't keep from comforting her perturbed mentor. Celestia was disturbed by the accurate report given by Onslaught.
"Two-hundred . . . fifty thousand. I . . . I thought it was something more like 5000, or 3000 . . ."
"Princess, how would that really have been any better?" Twilight asked.
"I don't know. It- it was – it was less! Two-hundred fifty thousand Changelings . . ." Celestia muttered. "That's . . . not counting Appleloosa or the Crystal Empire, that's nearly a quarter of the population of Equestria." Celestia turned towards her student. "Twilight Sparkle, say something."
"Hmm?" Twilight responded. She had been doing nothing but patting Celestia's back for the last few minutes, so Celestia wanted a response. "Sorry, Princess. I've just been thinking about Shockwave."
"Yes." Celestia growled, letting her woes about the Battery issue slide in favor of figuring out what Twilight and Shockwave were doing. "About that . . . when did you and Shockwave develop this . . . fascination with each other?"
Twilight giggled. "Just today, in fact. Teehee! Ooh, I wonder what colors we'll be wearing for the wedding . . ."
Celestia tried to do a spit-take, but all that came out of her mouth was air.
"WEDDING!?"
Later, the sun was setting on Earth when Optimus Prime took the elevator to the roof of Omega One. Optimus stepped out of the silver shaft hoping to have a quiet place to clear his mind.
Unfortunately, he hadn't consider the possibility of his flippant brother Ultra Magnus having beaten him there. Ultra Magnus was standing near the edge of the roof, a pile of rocks next to his feet and a hammer in his hands. Magnus reached down, picked a rock from the pile, and tossed the rock into the air. He swung the hammer and struck the rock like a baseball, sending the stone out in the vast desert plain surrounding them.
"It is possible you could send one of those rocks crashing into a human's car." Optimus said, making his presence known.
"Eh, it's fine." Magnus replied, picking up another rock and doing the same thing again. "There's no one out here for miles." Magnus turned to his brother, planting the hammerhead into the ground and balancing his chin on the shift. "But that's not what you came up here for, is it?"
Optimus scowled. Ultra Magnus could always read him so easily.
"Don't give me that look, Mister 'Prime'. Look, I get that Primes aren't supposed to have their emotions show, but I'm your brother. Our Sparks are connected. And I've known you longer than anyone else on this dirt ball planet."
Optimus nodded, accepting this truth. He looked down at Magnus's eponymous hammer. The Magnus Hammer. A humongous weapon with a shaft like the steel box of a crane. The hilt was a separate piece that ended in a hollow tube – because the hammer could convert from hammer to "boomstick" at the push of a button. The hammer's head was a large, see-through cyan box, with translucent tubes wrapped around the head.
"Hmm." Optimus smiled, walking towards his brother and putting his hand on the hammer's hilt. "I still remember the day when our tutor attempted to have this handed down to me . . ."
"Yeah." Ultra Magnus smiled at the memory. "That was pretty great. You lifted up, swung it around, and it didn't do anything for you. And he said I couldn't have it because I was the younger brother."
"And then you saved me from that robber . . ." Optimus added. Optimus lifted his hand up and curled into a fist. "Before I knew how to fight."
"Yup. And then I was granted the Magnus Hammer, the family heirloom of the House of Magnus." Ultra Magnus lifted the hammer and threw it over his shoulder. "Isn't that right, Orion Pax? Oh, that's right. You're called Optimus Prime now. When was the last time you heard 'Orion Pax of the House of Magnus?'"
Optimus closed his optics. "A very long time ago."
"Anyways . . ." Ultra Magnus swung the hammer around a bit, before dropping it to the ground. "You came up here for something. What was it?"
"I have been reflecting." Optimus answered gravely. "On Dreadwing . . . on Rainbow Dash."
"Oh, boy." Ultra Magnus said. "Here we go again."
"Perhaps I could have done more." Optimus said. "Perhaps I still could have changed Dreadwing's mind . . . perhaps I could have convinced him to still fly with the Wonderbolts."
Ultra Magnus sighed. Optimus didn't realize it, but they had been through this dance several times before. "Here we go again. The Great and Noble Optimus Prime! The Messiah of Cybertron! The Holder of the Matrix . . . once again blaming himself for other people's faults and mistakes."
"I do not blame myself for-"
"I'm not done." Ultra Magnus, being family, was one of the few people who could interrupt Optimus mid-sentence and get away with it. "You're always like this. Someone does something wrong, and you feel you "could have done more" to prevent it. Let me ask you something, Optimus. When you went to talk to Dreadwing, did he display psychotic behavior?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, was he in possession of his faculties? Did he seem to be displaying schizo-affective behavior? Was he suffering from delusions, lashing out at things that weren't there? Or he was calm and stable?"
Optimus looked at the ground.
"The Majestic Optimus Prime, bearing the weight of the sins of others." Magnus continued mocking him. "Feels guilty that he couldn't force someone to not kill themselves. Let me ask you this, Optimus. Would you rather keep him caged and alive, or let him die, but let him die a free mech?"
Optimus continued looking at the ground.
"Oi. Hey." Ultra Magnus snapped his fingers, then gestured towards himself. "Look at my face when I'm belittling you."
Optimus raised his head, his shoulders tensing up, then relaxing. "What would you have me do?"
Ultra Magnus put his hand on Optimus' shoulders. "Forget about it. Accept it. Quit lamenting what you could have or didn't do. Quit blaming yourself and move on."
Optimus closed his optics and nodded.
Shining Armor happily cantered towards Twilight's library. Twilight had apparently stumbled upon on some really big news, as she had invited him, Cadence, and the rest of her circle of friends so she could tell it to all of them at once.
"Hey, Twiley!" Shining Armor shouted, letting himself into the library. Cadence was right behind, and the rest of Twilight's friends were there, lying on the floor.
"Hey, B.B.B.F.F!" Twilight shouted back. "Have a seat!" She patted the floor. Shining Armor and Cadence came around and sat down.
"So, what's the big news, huh?" Shining Armor said, running his hoof through Twilight's mane.
Twilight smiled broadly at all of them. "Good news! I'm getting married!"
"Married!?" rang throughout the room with varying degrees of surprise and approval.
"That's right!"
"Oh, sweet!" Shining Armor cheered. "Who's the lucky guy that gets to be with my little Twiley?"
"Shockwave!"
Shining Armor's enthusiasm died down. "Shockwave."
"Twilight," Cadence said with worry evident, "please tell us that's the name of an Earth pony you met who works in construction . . . and not the one-eye, menacing, cannon-armed Lord of the Decepticons?"
Twilight giggled. "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but . . . yes, it's Lord of the Decepticons."
Everypony in the room was reduced to incoherent sentences and disbelieving gibberish.
"Gosh, Twi . . ." Applejack muttered. "Are y'all shore about this? Ah mean, have ya thought it through? It seems like an awfully big step to take . . . ."
"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash spoke up. "Especially considering how that jerk nearly electrocuted us when we first met him!"
"The war is over now, Rainbow Dash." Twilight gently reminded her. "Why can't anypony seem to remember that . . .?"
"Well, the Autobots and Decepticons were fighting a long time, Twilight." Cadence spoke up. "Damage like that doesn't repair itself in a day . . ."
"Well, whatever." Twilight rather snootily dismissed this, her mind focused on other things. "Shockwave and I are destined to be together. We're both purple, we're both aliens, we both love science. I mean, it just fits."
"That's . . . not really a great thing to base a relationship on." said Cadence.
"Have you told the Princess?" Rarity asked. "For that matter, have you told Optimus? . . . have you told Shockwave?"
"Oh, no." Twilight answered. "Shockwave knows . . . I talked about it with the Princess last night, and she agreed to it. I was going to tell Optimus after I told all of you."
"Really?" Shining Armor asked, a bit skeptical. "The Princess agreed to this?"
"Well . . . perhaps "agree" is pushing it. I believe her exact words were, "Twilight Sparkle, you have completely lost your mind if you think I'm going to approve such a rashly and poorly thought-out decision and on such short notice!" . . . But then I talked to Princess Luna, and she said yes."
"Did she?" Cadence asked with a tilted eyebrow.
"She didn't say no."
"Twilight, are you really sure you've thought this through?"
"Yup!" Twilight answered perkily, oblivious to their worrying glances. "Absolutely! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go tell Optimus about my groom! Teehee!" Twilight merrily skipped out of the building, leaving them to grimace amongst themselves.
"Well . . ." Rarity said, being the first to stand up. "I'll guess I'll get to work on some Decepticon-sized tuxedos." She gulped at the thought of such a daunting task. "I'll need a lot of fabric . . ."
Twilight Bridged over to Omega One to tell the Optimus the news. He took it well. Ratchet and the other Autobots, however, not so much.
Whatever happened, the news of this Decepticon-Pony wedding quickly spread to all three planets like wildfire. Within a few hours, everyone on everywhere was talking about it, gossiping about it, and cracking jokes about it.
In run-down Kaon, a few Vehicons had their backs to the wall of a building, discussing the new development. By chance, Blackout happened upon them.
"Blackout, sir." The two Vehicons snapped to attention, saluting.
"As you were." Blackout told, waving his claw at them.
"Thank you, sir. So, anyways, like I was saying, Shockwave's clearly gone 'round the bend."
Hearing Shockwave's name, Blackout stopped. He turned towards the Vehicons, and after hesitating a moment, joined them. "Tell me, my good mechs, what's this I hear about our Lord Shockwave?"
"Like I was telling my friend here." One Vehicon said bombastically. "Shockwave's totally gone off his rocker if he's gonna marry a Pony. I mean, seriously, here you have the most POWERFUL Decepticon around, and he wants to spend his time cuddling up with a tiny little fleshing?" The Vehicon stopped his rant, noticing the Gatlings mounted on Blackout's back. "Umm . . . most powerful Deception next to you, Commander Blackout, that is!" He held his hands and cowered pathetically.
Blackout rolled his eyes, then left. Blackout's attention was then caught by the muttering of curses, both foreign and familiar to him.
"Rassafrazzen, frelling . . . smeg-headed, ponyfeathered! . . . Smurf-brains!"
Blackout knew of only one Con with such a potty mouth; Barricade. Sure enough, Barricade limped into view, clutching a teal, Decepticon-sized cane in his claw, sorely rubbing his free across his left knee.
"Barricade?" Blackout asked, stepping towards his friend. Blackout's optics scanned Barricade's body up and down. He was limping, and his leg had been injured. There were cyan blue lines below Barricade's knee that Blackout knew to be structural reinforcement; essentially to a Cybertronian what a stitch was to a human. Barricade was about to let out another cuss when he noticed Blackout.
"Oh. Hey, Blackout. What's up?"
"What happened to you?" Blackout asked with concern.
"Oh, it's nothing. Just nearly was the victim of some crazy Changeling. Not the first time I was nearly blown up by Autobots." Barricade chuckled wryly. "Smegheaded slagger got my leg, though, and they had to rebuild using Earth metals. Ugh. A few unicorns got together to cast some spells to make the material stronger, but that's cold comfort, right?"
"I'm terribly sorry." Blackout offered, putting his hands together.
"Yeah, well . . . can you believe the nerve of Shockwave?"
"What?"
"I mean, I nearly get slagged because of some Changeling nutjob who wanted to take a chunk outta me, and he just sits up there in his throne room, planning his "wedding" with that little . . . Princess toady!"
Blackout's browplates shot up.
"Blackout?" Barricade waved his hand in front of Blackout's face. "You feeling all right, buddy?"
Blackout shook his head. "N-no . . . excuse me." Blackout turned and dashed off to parts unknown to Barricade.
"Suit yourself." Barricade muttered. He resumed limping his way and muttering his endless string of curses.
Blackout immediately made for his and Dropshot's secret hide away, bursting into the room.
"Whoa, whoa, hey!" Dropshot protested. "Watch where you're going, big guy. You wouldn't us to get exposed, now would you?"
"My compatriot, Barricade . . ." Blackout angrily began, stomping into the room. "Has been the victim of a bombing by some vengeance-seeking Changeling! Would you know anything about this?"
Dropshot stared at Blackout for a long time. "Nnno."
It was hard to see through Blackout's mustache, but he frowned slightly. For some reason, he got the feeling Dropshot wasn't being entirely honest with him.
"Dropshot . . . you said if I helped you, it would restore the Decepticons to their former glory. It would bring Megatron's dream come true! But not once -" Blackout pointed accusingly - "Not once did you say you would be harming my fellow Decepticons to do so!"
Dropshot raised his hands. "Whoa, hey. Easy there, big guy. I don't know why that Changeling decided to drop a bomb on your buddy."
Blackout narrowed his optics at him, still not entirely trusting.
"Dropshot . . . what exactly do you want from all this scheming and backstabbing?"
Dropshot flashed another one of his arrogant smiles. "Why, I only want to help."
"Gaah!" Realizing he wasn't going to get anywhere with this, Blackout stormed out of the building. He stomped his way through the crowded walkways, hoping to find somewhere with few enough passers-by and not nearly as clustered buildings where he could convert into his copter mode and just fly until he calmed down. His hopes were dashed when he heard a feminine voice call his name.
"Blackout! Yoo-hoo!"
"Oh, frell me." Blackout muttered. As if he didn't have to complain about with throwing Rarity into the mix. What did she want from him?
Blackout found himself cornered on his left and right by Bumblebee and Smokescreen, with Rarity standing between the two Autobots' legs. Rarity had a very long tape measure in her mouth.
"Hold still for me, won't you?" Rarity asked delicately, dropping the roll of tape. The tape was enveloped in the blue glow of unicorn magic, and it lifted itself up into the air, then began to wrap around Blackout's waist.
"What is the meaning of this!?" Blackout demanded, seizing the tape measure in his claws and wrestling to get it off.
"Shockwave wants you, Barricade, and the Combaticons to all attend his wedding." Rarity explained. "And while I don't condone the . . . crossbreeding such a unity conveys, no pony – or Decepticon – is showing up to a wedding not dressed in the most fashionable apparel on my watch!"
"I do not have to submit to your authority!" Blackout complained, fruitlessly attempting to get the enchanted tape off himself.
"Lift your arm." Smokescreen instructed Blackout when the tape began crawling up Blackout's chest. "Come on."
Blackout groaned, accepting his fate. He lifted his arm up, and Smokescreen put a large beige loth to Blackout's armpit.
"Well?" Rarity asked.
"Uum . . . let me double check." Smokescreen replied. "It's, um, yep, 180-195."
"Woof." Rarity pulled out a notepad and jotted the number down, while Bumblebee knelt down and applied a similar cloth to Blackout's boot.
Beep beep wrraa? Bumblebee beeped.
"No, Scout." Blackout irritably answered him. "I am not interested in those kinds of pants. Or any pants. Or ANY form of organic clothing whatsoever!"
"Oh, pish-posh, darling." Rarity chided as she wrote down another measurement. "You really must learn to lighten up. Although I suppose maybe I do understand your confusion about these wedding rites of ours . . ."
Blackout let out a frustrated groan, but it fell on deaf audio receptors. Blackout's eye then towards Bumblebee, who he mostly knew by reputation alone. But that reputation a smart, canny fighter who wasn't afraid to take on opponents bigger than he was.
Blackout begin to develop an idea . . . He knew Dropshot knew more about the bombing than he was letting on, and Blackout felt responsible for that. But he couldn't turn around report anything about Dropshot to the police without implicating himself. Even with the reduced punishment he'd get for turning Dropshot, he didn't feel that would be enough to keep out from behind bars. But perhaps, if he dropped an otherwise innocuous comment to Bumblebee, the little Scout could expose his and Dropshot's plot with exposing Blackout and Dropshot themselves.
"Bumblebee . . ." Blackout said. "Has Twilight Sparkle acted odd recently?"
Beep beep? Bumblebee chirped at him, dragging another one of Rarity's measuring tools.
"I mean has she perhaps been . . . too focused on her marriage, or caring more about her appearance than usual?" Blackout continued, prodding suspicion.
Beep bleep? Bumblebee responded. He let the cloth in his go and put his hands fingers to his chin in thought. Be-beep beep beep beep bleep bebe-eeeep wheeeeo.
"What is he on about?" Rarity asked Smokescreen. Bumblebee's unique pattern of speech, consisted of electronic buzzes and whirs, was understood easily by Cybertronians . . . but only a select few organics understood, and Rarity wasn't one of them.
"Got no clue." Smokescreen replied, having not paid attention.
Rarity wrote one more thing down in her notebook. "Well, we're done here. Onto the Combaticons!" Blackout made to get away, while Smokescreen and Rarity went off in search of the Decepticon quintet.
Bumblebee, however, remained where he was, locked in thought. Blackout's questions had sparked his curiosity. Twilight had been exhibiting some rather odd behavior, at least according to friends. They said she had been very dismissive of any attempt to talk her out of marrying Shockwave.
Bumblebee let out a long, curious beep. Beeeeeeeee . . . beep beep be-beeep.
Bumblebee jostled as a careless passer-by bumped into him.
"Oi! Watch where you're going, you – oh joy, it's you."
Bumblebee righted himself and readied his fists. He'd know Barricade's disrespectful voice anywhere. Bumblebee and Barricade had developed themselves quite a rivalry before and during the War.
"What do you want, Bumbler?" Barricade mocked.
Bumblebee raised his fist, the door-wings on his back tensing up. He was ready for a scrap . . . but then he saw the stitches on Barricade's leg, and his cane.
"What?" Barricade barked as Bumblebee removed his fighting stance. Barricade saw that Bumblebee's optics were on his cane. "Oh, no you don't! I will not be treated to your Autobot-brand sense of pity because of an injury! You slug me, Autobot, you slug me right now!"
Bee-beep. Bumblebee replied nonchalantly. He raised his fist and launched at Barricade's cheek.
"No, wait, I didn't actually mean-!" Barricade protested, but Bumblebee's fist connected before he could finish. The hit loosened Barricade's grip on his cane, and Barricade stumbled, trying to make sure he didn't drop the cane. Barricade eventually stopped spinning by bringing both his fists on the top of the cane's handle. "Oogh . . . I gotta hand it to you, Bee, you hit a lot harder than I remember." Barricade attempted to move, but he was stopped by an odd noise.
Krrrnk.
"What was that?"
Barricade and Bumblebee both looked around for the source of the disturbance, with no success until Bumblebee spotted light reflecting off Barricade's cane.
Beep beep. Bumblebee instructed Barricade to lift his cane, crouching down to get a closer look at the shards. Barricade took a step back, and Bumblebee swept the mysterious stuff up. It was a pile of broken glass. The same glass that Shockwave tossed aside some days prior . . . Bumblebee noticed stains of something pink around the edges of the tiny shards. Carefully scooping them into as tight of pile as he could, Bumblebee brought himself back up and looked at Barricade.
"Well?" Barricade demanded. "What is it?"
Beep beep wrra.
"You don't know? Wonderful."
Bumblebee brought the small pile of glass up to his optics, sweeping over it with his optics. This, and Blackout's questions, begin to stir up more of Bumblebee's curiosity.
Beep, beep? Beep bleep beep beep?
"Do I think Shockwave's been acting funny?" Barricade repeated Bumblebee's question. "Oh, no. Not at all. I mean, just because I nearly died and got my leg blown off, and he was more concerned about schmoozing up to Princess Celestia's pet, that doesn't mean his sense of priority it totally skewed."
Bumblebee looked again at the glass before turning back to Barricade, Blackout's questions ringing in his head.
Beep? Beep beep beep?
"Work together . . . with you?" Barricade asked dismissively. "With you, whom I have had a rivalry going with since the day we met?"
Beep beep. Bumblebee pleaded. He began to make his case. Beep beep bleeep dada wheeoo weeeot dedede daaa wraaa. Clic-click wheeeeo wheeeooorrp beep eeep sleep beep?
Barricade gave him a filthy, filthy look. "I hate it when Autobots make a surprisingly good case. Fiiine. But don't think that I have to like it."
Beep beep beep beep. Bumblebee replied smugly, offering Barricade his hand. Barricade accepted and shook it, signifying that they were working together.
"Now, like any good buddy cop show, let's review." Barricade said, starting to pace around Bumblebee. "We know that there was a Changeling who tried to bomb a Decepticon installation. We know that either at or before that time, Twilight Sparkle and Shockwave started to feel romantically inclined. And we know that just today, they announced they were getting married and everybody and the kitchen sink gets to attend. Where do we go from here, Bumbles?"
Beeee . . . Bumblebee droned, trying to think of an idea. He snapped his fingers as when came to him.
"Well, there's definitely more than just glass on this." Ratchet concluded, observing the molecular scan on the terminal. Bumblebee had asked Ratchet to come to Cybertron to meet a faction-neutral research facility, and provide his scientific expertise on the mystery pink liquid using the equipment there.
A complex image of the molecular structure of the glass and its contents flashed on the black screen of the silver computer. Just next to the screen was a silver table where the glass shards rested, a screen placed over them to feed their contents into the scanner for display. The shards had been placed in a plastic bag for safekeeping.
Ratchet reached over, pulling the screen and taking the bag of shards out. "I'm sorry to say, Bumblebee," Ratchet handed the glass back to Bumblebee, giving Barricade a dirty look, "and . . . Barricade . . . that I have no idea what could be on there."
Beep beep.
"Say," Ratchet added, "why are the two of you working together anyway?"
"Oh, well . . . we both think that something might be a little nutty with Twilight and our one-eyed friend." Barricade answered.
Ratchet cupped his chin. "Twilight Sparkle did seem to be acting more impulsive than usual . . ." Ratchet looked up to discuss the issue further, but Bumblebee and Barricade had already left the building.
"Right." Barricade said to his partner as they walked out of the building. "Discovered a clue. Check. Brought the clue to a professional for analysis. Check. Absolutely nowhere closer to solving this case than we were a few minutes ago? Double and triple check."
Beep beep beep beep.
"Hey, do you think we could be one of those Earthling crime shows?" Barricade inquired. "Like, I'm the rude rogue the audience loves to hate, and you're my mute but competent partner?"
Beep beep beeep. Bumblebee replied wearily, not interested in the prospect. He lifted the bag up. Beep beep beep beep, beep beep bebe beep . . . beep beep beep beep, beep beep?
"Why, yes, Fumblebee, I do know what's wrong with asking Twilight Sparkle for an answer." Barricade replied. "Thank you so much for asking!"
Beep beeeeep . . .
"Hey." Barricade punched Bumblebee in the shoulder. "Maybe we could ask one of her friends?" Barricade pointed at the east, where Rarity and Smokescreen were approaching from.
"There you are!" Rarity yelled, galloping up to them. "Barricade, darling, I've been looking everywhere for you!"
"Oh. For me?"
"Yes! Shockwave wants all of his Decepticons in attendance of the wedding today, and you're no exception." Rarity giggled, levitating up a needle. "And he wants you all dressed nicely. Now hold still while Smokescreen and I take your measurements. I imagine you and Bumblebee might have similar proportions."
"Whoa, whoa, hey!" Barricade yelled as Smokescreen went at him with measuring tape. "I didn't agree to this!" Barricade sighed in defeat. If his leg was feeling better, he would convert and speed away, but as his transformation involved his legs folding up, he didn't want to risk it.
Watching as Rarity and Smokescreen subjected Barricade to their treatment, Bumblebee remembered Barricade's suggestion about asking Twilight's friends.
Beep beep? Beep beep beep beep beee beeep?
"Hmm?" Smokescreen tilted his head at him. "Oh, sure, Bee. I can translate to Rarity for you. What do you want to say?"
Beep bleep bleep ble-bleep beep bebeep bleep bebe-beep.
"What is it?" Rarity asked.
"He wants to know if you know anything about pink liquid on broken glass shards. Lift your arm, Barricade . . ."
"Oh, well, I can't say I do, darling, though it's hard to tell from such a vague and broad- oh wait! There is one thing."
Beep beep!? Bumblebee shrieked, eager for Rarity to share. Rarity was startled by his shout.
"Um, yes, well . . . it could be a love potion." Rarity explained. "I only know of the one . . . that was when the Cutie Mark Crusaders tried to get their teacher to fall in love with Applejack's unfortunate brother . . . I do hope they've learned their lesson since last time."
Beep beep beep beeep?
"I'm sorry, darling?"
"He says he wants to know the love potion's effects." Smokescreen translated.
"Well, it was an actually a love poison, darling, but I digress. The effects were that the afflicted ponies couldn't stop to think about anything but each other. They were completely obsessed to the point of not being able to function properly. Smokescreen, are we done here?"
"Yup." Smokescreen answered, whipping the measuring tape from Barricade. "We're good."
"Excellent!" Rarity cheered. She turned to the unlikely cop duo. "And I expect to see both of you within the hour. The wedding will be on soon!" Rarity and Smokescreen went away, Rarity giggling at the thought of dressing up space robots.
"Great." Barricade muttered sourly. "Rarity gets to dress up like we're her dolls. Can you believe this, Bee?"
Bumblebee didn't hear Barricade's complaints, as he was too busy doing math in his head. Putting two and two together . . . obsessive, barely functional as a normal being, impulsive . . .
Beep! Bumblebee shouted, grabbing Barricade's arm. Beep beep beep bleep!
"Slow down, turbofox." Barricade chided. "What is it?"
Beep beep bleep beep beep! Bumblebee recounted what Rarity told him.
"Oooh?" Barricade drawled. "Funny, because that sounds exactly like what Twilight and Shockwave doing, focusing on each other over anything else. Say, did the Cutie Mark Crusaders interact with Shockwave recently?" Barricade pondered, before he noticed the very fillies he was talking about pitter-pattering past him and Bumblebee.
Beep beep! Beep beep beep? Bumblebee shouted at them, reaching at them for attention.
"Oh, that's them? I'll get it." Barricade turn towards the fillies. "HEY! CUTIE MARK WHAT'S-A-MA-WHO'S!"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders, realizing they were being addressed, stopped.
"Hello, good sir!" Scootaloo greeted him, but she sounded antsy.
"Hey, Barricade!" Sweetie Belle added nervously. "Can we . . . help you?"
"Yeah." Barricade answered, picking up on their unease. He grabbed Bumblebee and pulled the yellow bot closer. "Bumblebee and I were snooping around, see? And we think something's a bit fishy with the wedding, see? Rarity just told us about your fiasco with the love potion, so we think you might know something. So, would you be dears and tell us anything you might know?"
Scootaloo looked to her fellows, giggling nervous, before unexpectedly shouting.
"HE'S ONTO US! SCRAMBLE!"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders began running around in circles like lawnmowers that were on the fritz. Barricade knelt down and picked Scootaloo up by her tail.
"Whoa, whoa, little filly. What's this about?"
"Let me go!" Scootaloo flailed around in Barricade's grip.
"You drop her!" Apple Bloom shouted, running up and banging her hooves fruitlessly on Barricade's pede. Sweetie Belle joined her, but Bumblebee took action and picked the both of them up in his hands.
"Oof!" Sweetie Belle grunted, struggling in Bumblebee's grip. "Let us go, you brute!" She pounded her hooves on Bumblebee's fingers, to no avail.
"Not until you three little naughty fillies tell us what's going on." Barricade snarled, shaking Scootaloo around.
Beep beep! Bumblebee objected to the violent treatment.
"Relax." Barricade played it off. "If she doesn't want to tell us what happened after this, nothing will get her to . . . talk." Barricade's smugness was cut short as a thin computer chip fell out from Scootaloo's body onto the floor.
"The frell?" Barricade questioned, picking the chip up. It was a gray chip with alternating red and green blinking lights. "What is this supposed to be? . . . holy scrap, it's a Cerebro-shell!"
Beep beep?
Barricade was going to explain what Cerebro-shells were to Bumblebee, but was cut off by a scream from Scootaloo.
"AAAH! NO! I"m sorry!" Scootaloo brought her forehooves over her face. "I didn't mean to! We were playing, and then there was this, like, tiny Decepticon, and he said he could really use our help with a project of his, and then the next thing I know, I'm mixing up a love potion with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo and then Twilight's warning us not to do anything wrong and PLEASE DON'T LET TWILIGHT SPANK US!"
Barricade whistled sharply. "Wooow. Calm down, runt. I'm not gonna hurt ya. Right now, at least."
Bumblebee blooped curiously, holding the other Crusaders up. He shook them up and down, and after a while, Cerebro-shells fell off their bodies as well.
There was a high-pitched beeping sound, and it wasn't coming from Bumblebee, so everyone was confused . . . until Barricade noticed the lights on the Cerebro-shell in his other hand accelerating in their beeping. He tossed the shell forward, and Bumblebee kicked the remaining two out with it. All three exploded in mid-air, leaving nothing behind burnt scraps.
"Well then!" Barricade exclaimed. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Bee?"
Beep beep beep bleep beep?
"That's right!" Barricade agreed. "That someone, somewhere, whisked these fillies off and applied the Cerebro-shells to them. Then they had the Crusaders slip Twilight and Shockwave the love potion to derail any legislative talk between Shockwave and the other species' leaders. Eventually, Shockwave's and Twilight's fake love for each other would begin to bring their governments down. Then, to make sure they would get away scot-free, they set the Cerebro-shells to blow as soon as they were done with, and everypony who knew about the Cutie Mark Crusaders' prior experience with love potions would begin to suspect the CMC here. So they get away with without a trace, the Cutie Mark Crusaders take up the position of "fall guy", and Shockwave's leadership of the Decepticons turns into scrap because he's so busy with Twilight. It all makes sense now! . . . Except . . . who would benefit from all this?"
Beep beep bleep beep?
"No, Bumblebee, I don't think this has anything to do with the Changeling bomber that appeared just as the love potion's symptoms started to manifest." Barricade slapped Bumblebee upside the head. "Of course they're connected, smeghead! But we have bigger problems right now! Shockwave's about to get married to that- that Little Pony Twilight! We have to stop it!"
"We're sorry!" Scootaloo shouted, still covering her eyes. "We didn't mean to! The shell . . . thingies made us do it!"
"Oy, shut up, you. I'm trying to brainstorm . . . wait." Barricade held the filly up to his optic-level. "Can you three whip up an antidote for the potion you used?"
"I don't know . . . maybe." Scootaloo muttered. "Because of the shell, we don't really know what recipe we used . . ."
Bumblebee leaned over and whispered something in Barricade's audio receptor.
"Hmm? Mmh." Barricade nodded. "Okay, Scootaloo, was it? Bumblebee says that if you three can get to the Space Bridge, go to Equestria, brew up an antidote, and come back before the wedding ceremony finishes, then your role in all this can be our little secret. What do you say?"
Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom's eyes all perked up at the thought. They nodded eagerly. "If it means we don't get punished, sure! We can do that, right, girls?"
"Right!" Apple Bloom agreed.
"Good!" Barricade and Bumblebee put the fillies down and shooed them off. "Go on! Get! Clock is ticking!" The fillies made a hasty departure, and Barricade looked to Bumblebee. "Let's get to the wedding, Bee. Buy ourselves some time." Bumblebee bleeped his approval of that idea, and off they went.
Elsewhere on Cybertron, the wedding ceremony had been set up by the Decepticons quickly slapping together an elegant recreation of the traditional Pony wedding set-up, with Rarity's guidance. Celestia, Twilight's friends, Team Prime, and the Combaticons were all in attendance, as well several other nobleponies and Vehicons. The Cybertronians were dressed in suits Rarity had made for the occasion. The sight of so many giant, walking, war-built robots walking around in fine, classy suits was . . . novel, to say the least. Let’s … not bring attention to how ridiculous it was, hmm? Out of respect for the shredded remains of their Decepticon dignity, of course.
Smokescreen twisted his waist, admiring the Autobot-sized tuxedo Rarity had whipped up for him. "Man, I look good."
Optimus rubbed at his chest, fiddly adjusting his window inside the suit Rarity had made for him. "I must admit, Rarity, I am impressed by your dress-making skills."
"Oh, nonsense, darling. I just took some instructions for human suits and made them extra-extra-extra large."
"Has Shockwave paid you for your services?"
"Oh, yes. He paid quite a number of Energon Shards for these suits. Said it was his "best approximate" of the equivalent payment in Equestrian currency."
"Mmm." Celestia spoke. "Rarity, you realize that, with exchange rates, Shockwave may have very well paid you a fortune . . . or next to nothing?"
"Well, yes. But I have faith Shockwave did his best. He doesn't strike me as the swindling type."
"Say, Optimus?" Celestia asked, adjusting her neck towards him. "Do we have an interplanetary exchange rate for Equestrian to Cybertronian currency?"
"No. No, we do not."
"We should sit down sometime and fix that."
"Yes. Yes, we should. Rarity, while I appreciate your dress-making skills, and your ability to somehow alter the specifications for human's dress-suit into a Cybertronian size, taking into account things like my windows, Smokescreen's wings, and Shockwave's cannon . . . however did you make so many outfits in such little time?"
Rarity giggled. "Oh, Optimus, a lady never reveals her secrets."
"I helped." Smokescreen added. Several Vehicons in the audience turned to glare. Smokescreen gestured towards them. "And so did they!"
Optimus leveled his brow at Rarity, who nervously chuckled. "Eh-heh . . . well, when you're pressed for time, trying to make something for Decepticon royalty . . ."
"Hey," Rainbow Dash shouted, floating over a punch bowl set out by Pinkie and scooping some up. "Is this punch non-alcoholic?"
"Yup!" Pinkie answered.
Rainbow Dash glared. She poured her glass back into the bowl. "What's the point of it, then?" She sat on the table and crossed her front legs. The other girls and Autobots went to mingle, but Optimus stayed with Rainbow Dash at the table.
"Rainbow Dash . . ." Optimus said gravely, placing a hand on her back. "I wanted you to know . . . about Dreadwing. I'm . . . sorry I didn't do more."
Rainbow Dash scoffed at him. "Please, Optimus . . ." She looked at the pedestal, from which Luna would officiate. Next to her on either side was Twilight in a dress, and Shockwave in Rarity's tailored-made tuxedo. A Decepticon. In a tuxedo. "Looking at Shockwave right now . . . looking at this . . ." she gestured over the entire set-up. "This . . . is exactly what Dreadwing wanted to avoid. I'm imagining Dreadwing and me over there in Twilight and Shockwave's place . . . and thinking of it like that, I can see why he might have wanted to kill himself before it got to that point. Heheh."
Optimus frowned.
Dash shrugged. "Hey. It's called black comedy."
"Okay." Barricade said, as he and Bumblebee sneaked around the entrance to the party, using the decorations for cover. "We only got a few minutes left before Princess Luna asks Shockwave for his and Twilight's vows, so we need to come with a distraction until those fillies get back."
Beep beep. Beep beep?
"I'll deal with it." Barricade assured Bumblebee. "I'm gonna go in, be quick. Be stealthy. Be subtle, and I'll have this wedding in chaos in no time. And hopefully, those fillies will be back before the flatfeet try to remove me."
Beep beep.
Bumblebee watched anxiously as Barricade broke from their cover and strolled into the set-up. Barricade cleared his throat, lifted his arms into the air, and shouted.
"STOP THE WEDDING!"
Bumblebee facepalmed.
Barricade's shout caught the attention of all, least of all including Shockwave and Twilight.
"Why?" Shockwave demanded angrily.
"Because . . . because . . ." Barricade pointed empathetically at Shockwave. "Because your love for Twilight is impure!"
Shockwave and Twilight gasped. Princess Luna suddenly rose up, intrigued by the commotion.
"How dare you! My love for Twilight Sparkle burns like a furnace!"
"No, it doesn't! You're just trying to get in good with the Equestrian government so you can exert more power!" Barricade had made that up on the spot, but it was a plausible explanation.
"Ooh, someone shut him up!" Shockwave demanded, gesturing with his cannon-arm grandly.
One of the Combaticons, Brawl, a green bot with two cannons on his back, eagerly went to obey Shockwave's command. He picked up a table and hurled it at Barricade. Barricade caught it, only to throw it to the side, where it pinned down an unfortunate unicorn noble. The unicorn noble used his magic to lift the table off, then threw in no specific direction, where it hit three Vehicons at once. A few other Vehicons took offense to this, and they threw the punch bowl at the unicorn's direction, sending the punch everywhere and getting several Ponies soaked.
"Yeah!" Grimlock cheered. "Bar fight! Bar fight!"
"No!" Optimus objected. "There will be no bar fight-" As a piece of cake flew and smacked into his face, Optimus realized there was no use trying to maintain order.
Everything went into chaos. Vehicons and Ponies throwing food, punch, and tablecloth at each other. More than a few Decepticons began to punch at their comrades, unable to discern whom had thrown what in the frenzy. Some more bloodthirsty Autobots charged into the fray, adding their fists to the growing fracas. Princess Luna flew up from her pedestal and began tossing around magical incantations of lightning, while other unicorns continued to throw things.
Optimus and Celestia collapsed against a table, rubbing their temples sorely. A Vehicon was thrown into the table on his back.
"Optimus Prime." The Vehicon said, grabbing Optimus' arm and using the leverage to set himself upright. "Consider this a formal request from me; if all Pony weddings are like this, I see no absolutely no reason for Cybertron not to adopt the custom as their own. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bean this slagger with a chair." The Vehicon picked up a folding chair and went on his way.
Optimus rolled his optics towards Celestia. "Are most Pony weddings like this?"
"Mmm. Not always." Celestia answered. She ducked as a tablecloth flew over her head. "But they are surprisingly often." She put a hoof to her chin and watched as Twilight began throwing magic spells in random directions, trying to restore order.
Bumblebee whirred pathetically. He really hoped the Crusaders came back before the carnage burnt the set-up down and spilled out onto the streets. His prayers were answered, as he felt a little round, squishy thing poke his leg.
Beep beep! Bumblebee looked down to see the Crusaders offering him a glass vial with a different shade of pink liquid.
"Here you go!" Scootaloo told him as Bumblebee took it. "It's not perfect, but it should work! And hey, is our deal still on?"
Bumblebee ignored her questions, preferring instead to safely nestle the vial somewhere in his insides where it wouldn't shake too much. He converted into his Urbana 500 sports-car mode and sped into the set-up, using the exchange of blaster fire, unicorn magic, and flying cake as cover. Perhaps he should have spent more time testing whether or not the antidote would work, but Bumblebee had fate in the spirit of a filly motivated to not get a spanking.
Speeding through the chaos, Bumblebee managed to reach Twilight.
"Bumblebee? What are you doing-?" Twilight was cut off as Bumblebee reverted back to robot mode and skid along the ground, pinning her down with his hand.
"Ow! Hey!"
Bumblebee bleeped an apology, popping the vial out from his compartment. He forced the bottle into Twilight's mouth and poured until it was half-gone. After that, Bumblebee popped it out of her mouth and watched for a bit.
"Ooogh . . ." Twilight rose up, rubbing her head. "What happened? I feel like I just had a bad hangover . . . why am I dressed like I'm getting married?"
Bumblebee bleeped a sign of relief, then focused his attention on Shockwave. He called for Barricade.
BLEEP! BEBEEP!
"I'm on it!" Barricade shouted. He ran through the crowd and football tackled Shockwave. Shockwave smacked him off, but Barricade persisted, grabbing onto Shockwave's body and climbing all over him.
"Get off!" Shockwave instructed his wayward lieutenant.
"No can do, Lord Shockwave." Barricade informed him as he wrapped his arms around Shockwave's neck. "Bumblebee! If you're gonna do something-!"
Beep beep beep! Bumblebee replied, dashing through. He leaped up and managed to swing himself about on Shockwave's arm, then jabbed the potion into Shockwave's drink socket, draining the vial until it was empty.
"Get off, both of you! I will not – OW!" Shockwave complained, before being interrupted by a throbbing pain in his head. "Ooh, my cranial module . . . what happened?" Shockwave looked around, and all he saw was people throwing things at each other. "Decepticons! . . . DECEPTICONS!"
Shockwave reached over his shoulder and grabbed Barricade, throwing him off. Shockwave then fired shots into the crowd. The explosions his cannon made were enough to break up the bar fight and draw attention to him.
"Would someone or somepony mind explaining to just what the Pit is going on here!?" Shockwave demanded.
"You-you were having a wedding, Lord Shockwave, sir." One of the Vehicons stuttered.
"Wedding?" Shockwave surveyed the scene. Thin walls had been hastily set-up, there were tables and chairs flown everywhere, and there was cake all over the floor. "I recall no such happening! Whatever wedding it was, it is now CANCELLED." Shockwave gestured. "Clean up this mess!" Shockwave turned around and angrily stormed off the pedestal. "Oooh, how humiliating . . ."
"Come on, boss-bot." Barricade coaxed, gently putting his arm around Shockwave's shoulder. "Let's get you back to your tower to rest up, eh?"
Bumblebee watched them, placing his hands on his hips to celebrate a job well done. Barricade turned around gave Bumblebee an "I'm watching you" gesture, signaling their alliance was over.
"So that's it, then." Celestia concluded, watching Barricade and Shockwave leave while the Vehicons shamefully began to tear down their set-up. "No wedding, no marriage . . ." Celestia sighed. "No point to it all . . ."
"Well . . ." Grimlock interjected. "We did have a pretty great bar fight for it."
"Oh, yes." Celestia rolled her eyes. "That makes it so worthwhile." Celestia hopped off her chair and looked around in the dispersing crowd. "Ah! Cadence!"
Cadence was right over by her Aunt's side. "Hello, Aunt Celestia." Despite being family, Cadence bowed. "What do you need, Your Eminence?"
"Ah, I was hoping I could send you and Shining Armor out on a mission for me after this mess gets cleaned up." Celestia cast a scornful gaze on the area.
"But of course." Cadence nodded.
So, after the whole kerfuffle with the wedding was dealt with, all of the dresses Rarity (and the Vehicons) had made were cut up and sold as scrap fabric to recuperate Rarity's losses. Except for Smokescreen's. He was vain like that.
All the race leaders retired to their respective homes, while Twilight just . . . retired, going home and plopping into her bed. It had been a long day.
Bumblebee and Barricade held true to their deal with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, so no one knew their unfortunate role in this mess.
Cadence and Shining Armor set out for the task Celestia had given them.
And much later, on Cybertron, Blackout was pacing down an empty street. He hoped to cleanse his mind with a walk, and to have his thoughts to himself where he wouldn't bump into anybody to interrupt. He hadn't counted on Dropshot suddenly appearing from a dark alleyway.
"You again." Blackout spat, reading the guns on his arms.
"Yes-yes! It's me!" Dropshot stuttered. Blackout immediately sensed something was off. Dropshot had lost his usual swagger.
"What happened to that pompous behavior of yours?" Blackout asked, pointing his weapons at Dropshot.
"It, ah, disappears when his masters know his minions messed up his instructions."
Blackout looked into the dark alley Dropshot had appeared from. There was a pair of optics, glowing yellow in the darkness.
"Who are you!?" Blackout demanded, pointing his weapons.
"Dropshot's master . . . and potentially your friend." The figure stepped out of the darkness. "Weapons down, please. There's no need for that."
Blackout complied. Not because he was obeying the figure's request, but because he was in disbelief at who he was seeing. "No . . . you . . . it can't be."
"Oh, but it is, Blackout. I apologize about what happened to your friend. I expected Dropshot to be more careful when making our . . . arrangements."
"You did set the Changeling up!" Blackout accused, pointing at Dropshot.
"On my orders, he did." The figure added. "Please, put your weapons away again. Now, I didn't mean to harm your friend, Blackout. In fact, if you would be willing to join me, you could invite Barricade to join us as well. And then we can avoid another . . . accident like this."
Blackout considered this. "But why? Why send that Changeling in?"
"To sow dissent, of course! If the Autobots were seen as willing to employ suicide bombers, it would deal a major blow to their reputation as heroic freedom fighters, and then the fighting would start back up again! . . . Of course, that was presuming the bomb would have obliterated all traces of the Changeling's corpse. Now, I ask you again, Blackout . . . will you join me?"
The shadowy figured offered Blackout his hand. Blackout took it with only a moment's hesitance.
Shockwave made his way through the halls of the upper floor of his Tower. The Decepticons workers had repaired the damage from the bomb just enough for Shockwave to be able to walk through the section of the hallway and into his secret room where he had invited no one but Twilight Sparkle.
Shockwave went into the room, locking the door.
Inside the room was a massive complex housing more than a dozen tanks, each filled with a dark yellow liquid. Some of them had what were clearly bones visible in them, floating inside them, bubbles forming in the surface.
Shockwave walked past them, ignoring them. Once he reached the end of the room, he found what he was looking for.
A desk . . . and a much larger square tank, like a Decepticon-sized aquarium. On the desk were several tools, one of which looked like a micro cassette that had been built to Decepticon scale and laced with Energon.
Shockwave picked the box up and hit the record button. "Shockwave's Log. Number: 427. Project: Predacon has nearly borne fruit." Shockwave began to pace around the room.
"And for the most unlikely of reasons . . ." Shockwave noted. "While . . . not in my right mind, I invited the pony known as "Twilight Sparkle" to view my work. I even asked her to help with in what I'm given to understand was an attempt at "romance". However . . ."
Shockwave looked to the aquarium tank.
"While we may have not been in our right minds during the experience, I cannot deny that Twilight Sparkle's suggestions for my Predacons were . . . greatly beneficial. Before, I was having difficulty deciding what information to feed them through the Hyperevolution Chambers, but thanks to her guidance, I now know what to tell them to ensure their loyalty to me."
Shockwave turned around.
"I know . . . that some Decepticons . . . are not happy with the changes I have implemented in our command in order to coexist peacefully with the humans and Equestrians. You have my assurance, Decepticons, then when Project: Predacon sees completion . . ."
Shockwave turned away from the tank.
"We will no longer live in peace." Shockwave snarled into the Log. He turned the record button off and placed the log back on his desk.
He put his arms behind his back and stared up at his creations in wonder.
In the tank, a large shadow moved, wriggling like an eel. It swam back and forth, before turning around and ramming into the glass at full force. The impact of its claws made the glass crack. It roared at Shockwave to be let free from its prison.
And on Equestria, Twilight bolted upright in her sleep with her heart racing, thoughts and dreams of huge mechanical beasts running in her mind . . .
Elsewhere on Equestria, in the Everfree Forest, Shining Armor and Cadence were having a marginally better time than anyone else had had within the last 48 hours. Shining Armor stepped in something mucky, but he didn't mind. It was good to get away from the craziness of the last few days, even if was on a wild goose chase from Celestia.
"Honestly, I still don't understand why we're here." Shining Armor said to his wife, waving his flashlight with his unicorn magic. "It's not like there's anything we want to find in the Everfree Forest."
"Be patient, Shining Armor." Cadence told him, trudging through the muck and waving her flashlight around for signs of anything unusual. "Princess Celestia said there was a report of something in these woods there's not supposed to be."
"Oh. Something in the Everfree Forest that's not supposed to be in the Everfree Forest. Well, geez, that only covers . . . everything in the Everfree Forest."
"Hmm." Cadence lowered her eyelids, before Shining's flashlight reflected off a metallic substance. "Wait, wait, Shining, go back!"
"Huh?" Shining pulled his light back, casting it over the thing Cadence had found. "What . . . is that?"
They turned their flashlights towards the mystery device, revealing a white wing with a black rim.
"Decepticon?" Shining Armor asked.
Cadence waved her flashlight around. "No. American."
"What!?" Shining Armor looked, and was disbelieving when he saw the U.S flag emblazoned upon the side of the white hull.
Cadence and Shining Armor shared worried glances, then silently approached the strange vessel.
"Come on." Cadence quickly found the entrance, and they went inside. The inside of the spacious craft was a dark and messy as the outside. Metal rafters hung lopsided on the ceiling, about to give at any moment. The floor was flooded with the mucky substance from outside, and the smell of the place was . . . absolutely putrid.
Cadence and Shining Armor went inside to investigate, waving their flashlights all around to spot anything that could help them make sense of the fact there was a United States Space Shuttle on Equestria!
Cadence let out a gasp. "Shining, look!"
"What?" Shining whipped around to see what Cadence was looking at. There was an astronaut suit in on the far edge of the room, suspended and grisly impaled on a steel bar. Waving their flashlights around, they found six more of the suits.
"Hmm." Shining noted. "Astronaut suits."
Cadence nervously made her way towards one of them. She shined her flashlight into her face.
"Shining . . . I don't think they're suits. I think they're real astronauts."
"Oh, well, that's not good." Shining Armor said, coming closer. "You know Twiley's had traumatic experience with humans in the past . . ."
"Oh, I think she'll like these ones." Cadence said dryly. She put her hoof on the astronaut's helmet and popped it off. There was a sickening crunch noise. Shining Armor waved his flashlight at the astronaut's neck to see there was a bone sticking out of it. He then made the mistake of waving his flashlight into the black screen of the helm, revealing a human skull inside.
"You know, seeing as they're all dead."
"Aah!" Shining Armor screamed at the sight and stumbled backwards, dropping his flashlight and falling into the muck.
Cadence giggled. "Careful, there."
"It's not funny!"
Cadence held the astronaut's head up on her hoof, shining her flashlight directly into its face.
"Alas, poor Yorick." Cadence lamented the poor astronaut. "A fellow of most infinite jest, of most excellent fancy."
Shining Armor pointed his flashlight at the astronaut's suit. "Umm . . . this name tag says his name was Jamison. William Jamison. Part of the . . ." Shining Armor narrowed his eyes at the tag, "crew of experimental warp ship, U.S Mystery, 1976."
"Hmm." Cadence hmmed. "Wait . . . wait, wait!" She repeated, as though something distressing became clear.
"What?" Shining mimicked his wife. "What, what!?"
"Shining . . . the Autobots arrived on Earth in 2007. If this ship was launched in 1976 . . .how did it arrive on Equestria without a Space Bridge?"