Letters From a Little Princess Monster

by Georg

16. Trains, Strains, and Explosive Pops - Part One

There was a certain cresting point to trends that defies all logic. One week, millions of ponies have little pet rocks with clever little names like Chip or Pebble, and the next week they all are thrown out in the backyard while their owners are now trying to make a hoop-de-hoop loop, or a yo-yo do whatever a yo-yo did. The initial newspaper articles about the Elements of Harmony were quite informative, but there was one tiny detail that had been left out entirely by accident.

Marital Status.

An unmarried stallion by the unfortunate name of Stamen was the first to notice the omission, and his inquiry to the Canterlot Times rebounded throughout the system, gathering velocity and numbers as it traveled. Eventually the response that he received was rather vague and filled with enough words such as “assumed” and “indeterminate” that it piqued his curiosity. After all, their photographs had been on the front page of every newspaper in Equestria, and even if Twilight Sparkle’s whereabouts were as hard to track as A.K. Yearling, that still left five perfectly eligible young fillies in the small town. Certainly one of them might be willing to enter into a profitable long-term relationship, if properly wined and dined. Fluttershy had a cutie mark that fit rather well into his favorite hobby, and there certainly could not be anything wrong with a quick trip to Ponyville to introduce himself and see if perhaps there was some sort of spark between them.

So Stamen packed a few things and bought a train ticket, unaware that his idea was not unique among the population of Canterlot as the rumor mill kicked into full speed. Although the beautiful young fillies in the town were unaware of the upcoming influx of suitors, a certain older stallion in the employ of the castle bureaucracy had seen the signs too, and quickly took action to inform his liege.

After all, one of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony was his daughter.

It took a very early rising pony to get ahead of Prince Blueblood of Canterlot. Not that Blueblood ever dragged himself out from under the covers before the sun was up unless absolutely necessary, but he didn’t need to get up early to beat his rivals to a young mare or choice tickets at a popular event. He had something better.

Connections.

Tickets came to his door, often still warm from the printing press and in the hooves of a sycophantic praise-spewing social climber begging for a tiny little boost up that infinitely tall ladder. His employees and those few Royal Guards who were assigned to his protection would receive discreet inquiries from romantically inclined mares. Sometimes, less than discrete. The really silly part of it all was that Blueblood could care less about them, and that indifference only drove the insatiable rabble into more and more desperate attempts to gain his attention, and therefore his theoretical favor.

But making connections was his special talent.

So on the day a young statistician at the newspaper mentioned this ‘Twilight Sparkle’ having a library card at the Ponyville library while passing on a tip about the five desirable unmarried Element bearers, a young and nubile chambermaid had dropped a reference about his aunt having said ‘Rainbow Dash teaching Twilight flying would be as dangerous as Pinkie Pie teaching her how to throw parties.’ It took little effort for Blueblood to remember Twilight Sparkle, because having the sun almost dropped on your head in your youth tends to make certain names stick, and after a little evening contemplation over a particularly fine apple brandy, he retired from his associates with the excuse of attending to ‘Royal Duties’ early the next morning.

In a way, the excuse was true. One of the duties of a scion of House Blueblood was to produce an heir. And if the unicorn Twilight Sparkle had indeed been spirited away into some secret training program so that she could use the Element of Magic against Nightmare Moon, and if the maid’s off-hoof remark had been correct, it was possible that she had been transformed into an alicorn. Unlikely, but possible. And even the vague possibility of a marital bond between House Blueblood and a real princess was worth pursuing.

Admittedly, Princess Luna was more accessible, and quite definitely real, but she had displayed a way of seeing right through him like his skin was a window and his thoughts were written in letters of fire on his soul. After their first disastrous meeting, he had wisely side-stepped the various courtiers who had approached Luna and attempted to ‘plight their troth’ in her words, finding an inner satisfaction in seeing her disassemble their clumsy attempts at romance and sending them away in despondent misery much the same way Celestia did on the occasional odd royal bird who rose from the flock on a self-appointed mating flight. Since Celestia’s pet was a phoenix, it would only make sense for her sister to select a majestic eagle, for their ability to take a well-armored and secure royal turtle and drop it from a hundred feet up onto the jagged rocks below.

So with that avenue blocked, his planned mission in the morning was two-fold, and both folds were firmly around a certain arrogant student who liked nothing more than to set his tail on fire. Whatever was the real story behind ‘Twilight Sparkle’ and her present location, Trixie would know, and with a few bottles of his best house bourbon in her, the information would flow out as fast as the bourbon flowed in.

Little puffs and clusters of clouds scattered across the sky began to glow in shades of gold and red as the sun made its way to the horizon, still a few minutes from actually peeking over the distant hills and bathing Ponyville in warmth and light. The train station was nearly empty at this time of morning, with the distant sounds of the town slowly coming to life behind Monster and the glow of dawning light in front.

It was so much different than mornings in the Everfree, where the shrill cries of the tooth-toads would fade away as the light began to arise, giving way to the deep rumble of distant hydras beginning to stalk around their territory and the cutting shriek of razorbeaks as they began to forage for their ravenous offspring. The meaning behind the noises was the same, even if the noises were different. Food, sleep, family, transportation, territory. Even the ‘station master’ for the train stalked around the outside edge of the train station much the same way a hydra would walk the perimeter of its territory, although instead of eating intruders, he welcomed them and helped with any ticket purchases. He even was quite polite and welcoming to a little unicorn who just wanted to stand at the end of the platform to watch the sun rise—

“Those clouds are just so bland. I wish we had some colors for them.”

—or more correctly, a little alicorn with her wings securely tucked under a cape and a youthful photographer who had set up his tripod and was fiddling with the exposure settings on his camera. Although Featherweight was right; the few scattered clouds around the sunrise were rather dull this morning, making her wish the spirits of the air she could feel darting about and singing their usual mindless songs would listen to some colorful suggestions. Monster extended a wingtip and waved it up and down a few times before tucking it back under her cape with a sigh. The air spirits were being oblivious to her entreaties again, and she had even looked up the words to make sure she was using them correctly. The spirits of the earth at least were talking to her today, with words about the rumbling monster that was still a long ways away down the train tracks. The earth spirits had grown to accept the mechanical creature as the rails and ties of its path had settled into the ground, although the spirits of the water still tried their best to wash them away, as they did all things that stood in their way.

She took a moment to look back at Featherweight, still fluttering around while adjusting his camera and taking the occasional picture of the rising sun. The spirits of the air danced around him with every beat of his wings, delicate touches and spinning swoops that were so much different than the way they treated Scootaloo. She tried so hard to dance with the spirits in the same way as her hero, Rainbow Dash, but each pegasus wing touched the spirits of the air in different fashion, and for scoots, they fled in mortal terror as soon as she opened her little wings. Monster extended her little wings from under her cape and tried to reach for the spirits again, frustrated in the way they skittered away from her touch and danced into the distance. She could grab them with her magic and force them to do her will, but that felt wrong.

Rainbow Dash could make the spirits rush to her, eager to be flung under her wings and bear her up into the sky. For her, they begged to be commanded, to be roughly caressed by her wings and flung away by the dozens during loops and spins that crossed the sky in a blaze of color and light. The morning air was empty of her touch today, with only the golden rays of the rising sun as it lit up the clouds and painted the town in light to start the day.

Immunizations used a weak or dead form of the disease to build immunity, and standing at the train station watching the sun rise was a lot like that. Without touching magic, the temptation to reach to the sun for power was easier to resist. The fear she felt whenever looking at the ‘train’ could be treated the same way, through small exposures over a number of visits. The train was not really the same as the giant landsnakes that wound through the Everfree Forest, crushing trees and shrubs to a thin green smear as they slid forward. They were actually friendly in a fashion, and mom had taken her to be introduced to one several years ago. She had sat next to mom as the rumble and crash through the forest had turned into a huge wall of teeth and scales, a monster that her natural fear had wanted to blast into pieces. But the zebra had not moved, even when the creature slowed in its approach to halt only a hoof away. The two of them had sat there for over an hour, hooves buried in the dirt while the landsnake breathed over them, until mom had permitted Monster to approach and touch it. The frightening creature had been warm, with a low vibration that jittered against her hooves in the long-lost song of some ancient race of beings. It had placidly allowed the two of them to examine it in the most intimate of fashion, from teeth to tail, until the sun was setting and mom had allowed it to proceed into the forest. The train was not a creature, but a machine much like Trixie’s lock or Featherweight’s camera, and as much as she wanted to take it apart and examine it until she understood it, there were other ponies who depended on it for transportation.

It took a long time for the morning train to arrive at the station, but eventually it came chuffing up the tracks with little puffs of water vapor coming out of the front cart. The research books she had read allowed her to put words with the various parts of the train, from Chuffy the Engine, Percy the Personal Car, Sally the Sleeper Car, Dan the Dining Car, Freddy Freight Car, and Chatty Caboose, all in a neat line but none of them with the happy smiling faces of the book. The stallions and occasional mare that emerged from the trains hustled about, pulling carts filled with luggage or occasionally luggage that was its own cart. The new arrivals walked by Monster with a smile or a polite nod, which she returned while trying not to show her teeth when she smiled. There was a spell from the library she had looked up last night which would have made her fade into the background, but after the first dozen or so ponies had passed by without a fuss, she realized something wonderful.

She was normal.

Nopony pointed and shrieked in terror at the monster who stalked the Everfree Forest, or who had killed thousands of changelings with a single spell. At worst, they gave her a rather introspective look while examining her multicolored coat, then a smile and a shake of the head as if they thought she had intentionally rolled in paint, and it seemed humorous to them.

Monster had just started to relax when two new ponies stepped out of the train and began to move in her direction. They both wore the golden enchanted armor of the Royal Guard, the spells embedded into the steel an unmistakable touch on her senses, but her heart began to beat faster as they grew nearer and recognition dawned. One was a disguised changeling, who looked directly at her with the same peculiar gaze of mixed thanks and regret that she was still getting from the various changelings who had settled in Ponyville, but the other was an earth pony whose face looked familiar. She was still puzzling on it when there was a faint pop from Freddy the Freight Car…

And the world exploded.

The Prince of Canterlot, Blueblood the forty-somethingist, barked orders at his servants while his two guards tried to stay out of the way in the narrow confines of the private train car. In a matter of moments after the train had stopped in Ponyville, they were ordered in no uncertain terms to go out and ‘secure the area,’ which was what they were wanting to do anyway. So Sergeant Chives and his new partner slipped out of the noisy train car and took a moment in the fresh air of Ponyville just to look around for any possible threat to their Royal Cargo, which coincidentally gave Chives a few moments alone with Specialist Stanchion, whom he had been trying to talk with ever since they had departed from Canterlot.

“So,” started Chives. “You’re a changeling, then. Right?”

“Yep.” The presently palomino pegasus nodded slowly even as his eyes made a quick scan around the area in a manner nearly identical to his superior officer. There was very little in the small town of Ponyville that could be considered a threat, but the guards took no chances even here.

“Princess Celestia know?”

“Yep.” His scan of the area completed for the moment, Chives’ partner seemed placidly interested in a small unicorn filly sitting quietly at the edge of the train platform next to a young photographer.

“Talkative, ain’t ya?”

The smallest of smiles crept onto the guard’s face, and he responded, “The Guard-Commander suggested that I keep my normally ebullient and verbose comments to a bare minimum after I apologized to him after our liberation from Queen Chrysalis. It seems I cornered him in his office for over two hours without letting him get in a single word, and he viewed that as a new record that should not be challenged. Then again, I was a little excited. Anyway, you may be assured that I have sworn loyalty to Princess Celestia and Luna along with the rest of the Royal Guard, and that I shall serve her will with unshakable loyalty. In other words, yep.”

There was something familiar about the little unicorn filly at the edge of the train station platform, and even though he could not remember her splotched coat and mane from anywhere, that kind of coloration was rather unmistakable. Still, his instincts were seldom wrong, and Sergeant Chives decided to walk over to her and take a closer look, even if it was nothing after all.

“Be careful, Sergeant,” whispered Stanchion as they walked. “Don’t frighten her.”

“I’m not some sort of monster,” growled Chives, feeling a little upset that the little filly had begun to stare up at him with huge eyes as they approached. There was something familiar in those mournful eyes, a hint of purple around huge pupils that really should have been smaller in the bright morning sunshine.

With a slow trickle of ice down his back, Chives finally remembered the eyes.