//------------------------------// // A Mild Buzz // Story: A Bowl of Berry Punch // by Lighthawk //------------------------------// I was somewhere in the middle of my third, maybe fourth, attempt to heave my new bed into motion when somepony tapped me on the shoulder and asked brightly, “Ya’ll need some help with that sugarcube?” I responded by squeaking in surprise and having my hooves slip out from under me, promptly dropping myself face first into the dirt. While I was down there, I took a moment to reflect on the state of my pride, and found it to be barely clinging to life. This was clearly not going to be a good day for me. “Whoa, sorry ‘bout that partner!” Strong hooves took hold of me and hauled me upright by main strength, giving me little choice but to get up or be gotten up. “Didn’t mean to startle ya’ll like that.” I blinked at the mare standing before me, taking in her bright orange color and wide brimmed hat. She had a friendly, open smile on her face as she reached out to brush some dust off me. “Th-that’s alright,” I said once I’d collected myself a bit. “I might have been a little overly focused.” “So I saw,” the cowpony stated with a grin. She thrust out a hoof at me. “Name’s Applejack.” “Berry Punch,” I countered, shaking hooves with her, and nearly getting mine torn right off from the enthusiasm of her greeting. The mare was strong, freakishly strong. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Applejack said brightly. “New in town?” “Yeah, just moved in today actually.” “Thought so,” Applejack replied with a little self-satisfied nod. “Didn’t reckon I’d seen ya'll ‘round here before.” She suddenly went a little wide eyed, and glanced around nervously. “Uh, ya'll ain’t by chance run into a mare by the name of Pinkie Pie yet, have ya'll?” I blinked at that, and nodded slightly. “She was waiting for me at the train station.” “Ah,” Applejack said simply, relaxing again. “Hope she didn’t give ya’ll the wrong impression or nothing. Girl’s sweet as sugar, but just a little bit on the weird side. She means well though.” “It was no big deal,” I replied loftily. Or at least, that was what I was going for, not sure if I actually pulled it off. “Besides, she’s throwing me a party.” “Heh, yeah that’s kind of her thing ‘round here,” Applejack chuckled. “And shoot, she does throw the finest shindig I ever been too, that’s Celestia’s honest truth.” “Right, good to know,” I said simply. I was getting a little thrown off by the cowgirl’s accent and dialect. I mean yeah, it actually kind of cute and everything, but it just felt so out of place I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I sure hadn’t heard anypony else speaking like her around town. Made me wonder how long it’d been since she moved in. “So anyway,” Applejack pressed on, waving a hoof towards my new bed. “If’n ya’ll like, I could give ya’ll a hoof with that.” At first I was, almost, tempted to tell her no out of general principle. But my pride had already been flogged and dragged through the muddy streets and was getting ready for a new round of abuse, so I figured I didn’t actually have anything to lose by admitting I needed help. Wasn’t exactly the best thing for my confidence though; couldn’t even manage a full day on my own without needing somepony’s assistance. But I stomped down on that feeling as best I could and tried to smile. “Yes please.” I had to work a little harder to get the words out, but they came…slowly. “I uh…guess I wasn’t really thinking…you know, when I bought the thing.” “Ah shoot, ain’t no biggie,” Applejack laughed good naturedly. “It happens.” She turned and waved a hoof in the air. “Hey, Big Mac! Com’er!” I turned, and promptly dropped my jaw into the dirt. Sauntering up the street was the biggest, buffest, most ruggedly hunky stallion I’d ever laid eyes on. I don’t even usually go for the guys, mares are just…well they’re just more appealing, aesthetically. All nice curves and soft textures and sweet scents. Every once in a while though, I would feel the itch for something a bit…rougher, stronger, and uh, oh how to put this delicately…uh, more filling? Oh that’s terrible, definitely need to fix that. Anyway, Big Mac…oh sweet Celestia, does that name just bring all sorts of improper thoughts to mind…ahem, uh so yeah, the big red stallion came walking over with a relaxed, calm air about him, green eyes flicking from Applejack to me. I slammed my mouth shut and tried to look casual. “Mac, this here is Berry Punch, she’s new in town,” Applejack introduced us. “Berry, this is Big Macintosh.” “Hi there,” I said, in perhaps the lamest way possible. I would have facehoofed if he hadn’t been staring at me. “It’s nice to meet you.” Smooth Berry, real smooth. Big Mac just nodded politely. “Think ya’ll could give her a hoof with this?” Applejack asked the stallion, tapping the box next to her. “Eeyup,” Big Mac replied. Stallion of few words, apparently. But hey, I could live with that. Less talking, more…okay, down Berry, get it together girl. While I wrestled my libido into submission, Big Mac trotted on up to my boxed bed. He gave it a brief look over, then put a hoof up against it and pushed. The whole thing just tipped right up for him, and while I tried to keep my mouth out of the dirt again, he casually dipped his head under the box and levered it right up onto his broad shoulders like he was picking up…I don’t even know what, but something light and easy to carry and completely opposite the massive weight of that stupid bed. “Oh, wow…” I swooned. “So, where ya’ll live?” Applejack asked, breaking me out of the moment. I gave a guilty start, and snapped my gaze over to her. “Uh, oh uh, just uh, that is uh,” I stammered like an idiot for a moment before my brain found some traction again. “Not far, just a few streets over actually.” I glanced over at Big Mac, who was waiting patiently under his…well actually, calling it a burden would suggest he was struggling with the weight. Truth was, he was just standing there as if he could barely feel it. Still, I felt the need to ask. “Will you be able to manage that?” “Eeyup,” Big Mac replied calmly. “Well...okay then,” I said, and started to lead the way. Sure to his word, Mac paced along beside me, easy as you please. Applejack took up position on my other side, though she didn’t stick around with us long. “I guess I best be getting back to the stand,” she said after only a minute or two. “Don’t wanna miss the lunch rush.” “Eenope,” Big Mac agreed, proving his vocabulary was not limited to a single word. “Stand?” I asked curiously. “Apple stand,” Applejack clarified. “Me and Mac here own and operate Sweet Apple Acres, just outside town. We got a stand set up in the market to sell our produce.” “Ah, gotcha,” I replied, trying not to sound too disappointed. Of course a stallion like Big Mac would be taken, especially in a town this size. And it had to be pretty serious between the two of them if they had gone in together on a business like that. Still…it could be worth the potential embarrassment to see how Applejack felt about bringing a third in on occasion. She was a bit more muscular than I liked my mares, but she wasn’t hard on the eyes by any means. Luckily she took off before I could work up the nerve to say something that, in retrospect, would have been really, really stupid. Of course that just left me and Mac, and did that get awkward fast. Between him not saying anything except for single word affirmatives or negatives, and me babbling like a filly to her first crush, it was the longest two minute walk of my life. The whole thing is just kind of a blur to me now. So we ended up back at my house, me covered in a nervous sweat and trying to catch my breath, and him still calm and cool as ever. Something about that just struck me as completely backwards. And unfair. Maybe he wouldn’t notice? Yeah, right…anyway. With a bit more unnatural strength and fortitude, Mac got the bed inside, hauled upstairs, and set down in the middle of my bedroom. I really hadn’t been thinking when I bought the stupid thing. I mean I couldn’t move it across flat ground, what would I have done about the stairs? At that point Mac surprised me, and actually used a bit of grammar. “You want help getting that together?” …heh, oh Celestia, but if that didn’t sound like the start of just about every other trashy romance novel I’d ever read. Why yes good sir, if you could be so kind as to help this poor mare out with some hard labor and then show off your skilled hooves with some construction work. I’ll just be over here admiring all the effort you’re going through on my behalf. And afterwards, I know just how to reward you...and to double check how sturdily you put that bed together… I really needed to get this guy out of my house before I did anything stupidly short-sighted. It would not do at all to make an enemy my very first day in town, and making passes at another mare’s stallion was a really good way to accomplish that. Plus, honestly, I’m pretty sure Applejack could kick my flank from here to Manehatten and back again. If I was going to piss anypony off, it sure wasn’t going to be her. So with my libido screaming and snarling at me, I thanked Big Mac in a very nice, entirely sincere, and sadly platonic fashion. I did offer to take him and Applejack out for lunch or the like as a way of saying thanks, which he generously tried to brush off as unnecessary. I insisted, and won by means of being the more vocal of the two of us. Once Mac was gone and temptation removed, I found myself at something of a loss as far as what to do next. I thought about trying my hoof at getting the bed together, but that idea didn’t get very far before I realized I had no tools of any kind of work with. So I added a trip to the local hardware store to my mental checklist of things to do. My day just seemed to keep getting busier and busier. Which reminded me, I had a party to go to tonight at…at…hmm, actually now that I thought back on it, I don’t recall there being a time listed. Well that was just annoying. So I’d need to somehow track down Pinkie Pie and get a time to show up at. Which wouldn’t do me that much good, seeing as I didn’t have a clock! Argh! Clock added to list, which was starting to get long enough that I figured I ought to start writing it down. Only I had nothing to write with, and nothing to write on. Celestia-dammit-all.