"There's nothing like the wind whipping your mane, creeping between your legs and batting the underside of your tail. The sweet salty air filling your nostrils, burning your eyes." I said aloud as I took a deep breath through the nose and exhaled through the mouth. Standing beside me on the Quarterdeck was my first mate. Those of Equestria would know her as 'Queen Chrysalis, the Changeling queen who nearly brought down the great kingdom of Equestria'. I just knew her as Chrysalis. She shot me a look that just screamed scepticism.
"Yeah, just don't let your crew fall into the water or they'll shrivel up like prunes. And the sand gets into our joints and our legs." she dead-panned. I groaned as she brought down my high.
"Those events happened once. Besides, if the crew doesn't think to use their wings, then it's their own fault." I said.
"They were brawling!" she argued.
"Remind me again what your job is on this ship?" I asked.
"Doing the things you don't want to do?"
"No the other thing." I began to shuffled my feet in discomfort.
"Manage the crew?" she replied. I nodded, pointing a hoof at the crew below.
"For pete's sake, Chrys. Most of the crew are changelings. Show the same authority you did when you invaded Canterlot. You are their leader." I rebutted. Chrysalis smirked and leaned closer.
"So why is it then, that you're the Captain instead of me?" she teased. I already had the answer to that.
"There are two reasons. One, I'm the Captain because this was my idea and you owe me your life after that epic fail of an invasion." Chrysalis grimaced at my description of her failure. "Two, if you were the captain, then there'd be no point to me. If anything, I'd be a liability to you because you couldn't force me like you could your changelings. Besides, we wouldn't have the best crew in the seven seas if it weren't for me." As usual, Chrysalis just dropped the conversation around about there. I knew that no matter how much she complained, she wouldn't change things. She was my best friend.
"Land ho!" a voice called up in the crow's nest. The voice belonged to my eagle-eyed sniper, One-Shot. That pony, though he kind of looked like a movie producer, was the best shot I'd ever seen. He'd once shot a seagull through the eyes as it was taking off from a rock a hundred yards away from the ship.
"About damn time! I wanna get some new swords. I've just about run these ones down." came a very gruff mare's voice from inside the Captain's Cabin. Fine Edge, easily my best swordspony. She wasn't exactly flashy unless she was fighting somepony, then you'd see a very violent beauty to her. Not one for frilly things, she pretty much lived on the bare necessities. Though that didn't stop her from taking a cut of the treasure. She often wore wrappings around her hooves. I still don't know why.
"Edge, could I go shopping with you? It's just that I want to get some new tools and crafting materials... and I could do with some protection in case we get recognised. That and an extra pair of hooves would be nice." came a third voice from below deck. Out stepped Tinker-Tailor. My first recruit. Despite the circumstances under which we'd met, he was certainly a steal. An affinity for creativity and construction, he'd be the only pony I know that could fix the keel of a ship. What he lacked in courage or fighting skills, he more than made up for in spirit and miscellaneous development.
Fine Edge sighed for a moment. "Fine... but I'm getting my swords first!" she declared.
"That's fine by me. I find sword shopping with you fun anyway." he said, going to meet her at the bow of the ship, which everypony as well as changeling had moved toward.
"How long has it been since we saw anything but water? Two weeks?" I asked Chrysalis.
"Three, remember we were caught in that calm spell for a week and you slept it away." she replied.
"Oh yeah. That would have made a great holiday for the crew if they weren't all panicking about the wind never picking up again." I said, chuckling before looking out towards the land.
"How did you not freak out back then anyway?" she asked. I gave her an amused look.
"Isn't it obvious? Chrys, I'm living my dream. I have everything I ever wanted. The perfect crew, the perfect friends, the perfect family. If I were to die out at sea in calm waters, then my life would be complete because I had all of you with me." I said. I loved my crew, and Chrysalis took the opportunity to literally eat those words up. That isn't to say she didn't appreciate the gesture.
A changeling approached us and began to speak. "Captain, we're approaching crew visibility range. Recommend disguising the Changeling crew." he said. I nodded to the changeling.
"Quite right. ALRIGHT! SUIT UP EVERYONE! WE'RE GOING ASHORE! One shot! Come down and take the helm. We'll need your expertise to avoid crashing the ship into the docks!" I ordered. As the changelings returned to their stations, all disguised as random ponies, One-Shot took flight and landed right in front of the wheel.
"I need half-mast!" he called out.
"You heard the Stallion! Half-mast!" I repeated. The crew got to work following their orders. Within a matter of seconds, the sails were half way furled. "Ease her in, Eagle-eye." I said. One-shot chuckled at the nickname and angled the ship appropriately. Before us were the Manehattan docks. The same docks that this same ship had begun her maiden voyage on. It seemed like so long ago.
"So what are you gonna do when we reach dry land, Captain?" Chrysalis asked. I smiled at the question.
"Traditionally, a Pirate would find a tavern with mead and wenches. I like to think I have a bit more class than that." I replied.
"And that means...?"
"Why bother with wenches, when I can go after a challenge. The Princesses." I boasted.
Chrysalis sighed. "Traditionally, Captain; a Pirate goes after achievable goals." she teased.
"Oi!" I complained. One-Shot just burst out laughing. "That is an achievable goal. I'll go after the easiest first, which is Princess Luna." I said.
"Why is Luna the easiest?" Chrysalis asked.
"For anypony else, she wouldn't be. For me, well let's just say I always have a place in her heart. I can exploit that to my advantage." I replied.
"Okay. And Celestia?"
"Not many ponies know this, but Celestia is actually very curious about things. If I can convince Luna to relay a good review to her sister, then she'll be compelled to try me out." I chuckled. "Alternatively, I could time my interaction with Luna appropriately and wind up with the both of them at the same time." I added.
Chrysalis was beginning to look sceptical again. "Uh-huh... And what about Twilight Sparkle? A more frigid pony there is not." she asked.
"I'll admit, that particular treasure trove will pose a challenge."
"Right...well good luck with that. It sounds like you're gonna need it." she said. I heard her mutter under her breath in addition. "And then some."
I just sniffed and looked towards the docks. "Furl the sails! Weigh Anchor! I want this ship tied to the docks in thirty seconds!" I called out. The crew complied immediately. The ship was secured in twenty seconds. "What about you, Chrys? What do you plan to do over the weekend while we're here?" I asked. Chrysalis smiled and looked to the North.
"I thought I'd head to the Crystal Empire and see Cadence and Shining Armour. I at least owe them an apology after all this time." she replied. I nodded in understanding.
"Well at least take one of the ancient transporter crystals so you can get out of there. I'd hate to lose my first mate." I replied. She smiled at me and gave me a hug.
"I'd have thought you'd say best friend instead of first mate." she addressed.
"The best friend thing is implied." I said. "One-shot, could you take down the black flag before port authorities see it?" I asked. The stallion nodded and shot up towards the main mast. Together, Chrysalis and I walked toward the side of the ship and I offered for her to step off first. She took it with appreciation. Little did she know, I often did that only so I could watch her flank sway from side to side. Pony or no, I wasn't picky. Chrysalis and I had never really entered into that kind of relationship. She was my best friend. I didn't want that to change, either for the better or worse. Still... benefits might not be so bad.
Canterlot was bustling as always. There were ponies familiar to me, and some completely new. Stores had either been upgraded, replaced or just relocated. Still, I managed to find my way around. Chrysalis had taken the first train she could catch to the Crystal Empire. Best of luck to her. In order to avoid looking like a Pirate while I was here, I left my coat on the ship, but I kept the hat. It wasn't one of those crappy triangular ones either, it was a full-on round one, the kind that didn't scream pirate.
Though the bandanna underneath it might be a give-away. I thought as I approached the front gates to the castle. I was greeted by two guards with spears. Kinda wishing I'd brought my sword. "Halt! State your business!" one of the guards said. I just smiled at them.
"Well I just arrived from Manehattan and I wondered how I could go about getting a tour of the castle while I was here. Don;t suppose you boys would know anypony who could acquiesce to my request?" I asked. The guards seemed stumped by that particular word. I sighed and clarified. "Anypony who could accept my request." Their minds lit up in understanding. Getting past these guys would be too easy. I thought as the guards lowered their spears and led me inside. Perhaps that somepony who could organise a tour was in the castle? Kind of redundant.
While we walked, I took a mental note of the possible entrances into the castle. I did not want to have to enter through the sewers. Things were not looking promising. Perhaps that tour would be necessary. After all, I didn't want to ruin the surprise.
"So what do you do?" asked one of the guards.
"I'm just a simple merchant. I deal in jewellery mostly. Fabrics, heirlooms, virtually anything of great worth." I replied.
"What would you recommend I get for my marefriend for our third anniversary?" he asked.
"A wedding band." I replied.
"Really? After only three years?" he asked in disbelief. I couldnt help but raise my brow at him.
"Mate, I'm gonna tell you something. If this marefriend of yours was anything like the other marefriends in the world, she'd have been hoping against hope you'd propose on last year's anniversary."
"Aw crap!" he cried out.
"It's so sad to watch this. Tell you what... I'm gonna help you out. What does your marefriend like?" I asked.
"Well... she likes the ocean. And she's into black." he replied. I smiled and fished around in my saddle bags for an item that suited those requirements. It was pretty easy to find.
"Here you go. It's yours on the condition that you propose." I said, showing him a sapphire encrusted silver wedding band with a black pearl for the centrepiece. The guard just oggled it, as did his friend who was strangely silent throughout the trek.
"I-is that for real?!" he asked, jaw hanging an inch from the ground.
"It's as real as you or I, mate. That's a black pearl there. Rare among the rare. I think this ring used to belong to some foreign noble on the other side of the world. She had a name that couldn't be pronounced. 'Cat chuck' or something. Either way, show her this and you'll wind up winning future arguments as a pseudo-happy couple." I said, teasing him. He stopped walking and reached out his hoof, slowly. I just waited for him and when he was close enough, I let it fall into his waiting hoof. I reckon if I told him now that I was a pirate, he just might kiss me. I thought.
After leaving the castle with no way of getting inside, I turned to see Luna herself standing out on her balcony, overlooking the city. The mountain was right behind the tower. "Ah. It seems Luna will be getting a visit from the love pirate after all." I said to myself, lowering my hat so she couldn't recognise me (in the off-chance she even glanced my way).
That night, I waited at the peak of the mountain. The Night guards had just begun their morning perimeter sweeps. The aerial team finished first in under a few minutes. I took that chance to slide down the side of the mountain. It was times like those that I wished I was a pegasus pony.
Timing my descent right, I leapt forward, grabbing hold of the flag on top of the tower. I used it to slide gently down, landing on the Princess's balcony. I peeked inside. She wasn't in. Using her absence to my advantage, I opened the unlocked door and stepped in, closing it behind me. I barely had time to think as I heard hoofsteps approaching the door opposite. I ducked into the most shadowy corner I could find and waited.
To my relief and joy, Luna was the one who entered. "You're both relieved for the evening." she called behind her.
"Yes, your highness!" the monotone and trained voice of a guard replied, followed by the armoured clip-clop of their departure. Luna closed the door behind her, further darkening the room and hiding me. She sighed and walked to her balcony, opening the doors. As she stepped out, I began to tip-toe over to the nearest piece of furniture I could find. Why she had a lounge chair in her bedroom, I didn't know, but it suited my purpose.
I carefully sat myself into the chair and faced the doorway to the balcony. From then on, I just waited, listening to Luna. A deep sigh escaped her lips first, followed by a groan. She wasn't there for more than a minute before she stepped back inside. I waited for her to close the balcony doors before I made my presence known.
"You sound bored, Princess." I had my head down, the hat blocking her view of me. She jumped with a yelp you'd expect from a filly. It was quite funny.
"Who are you?! Leave before I call the guards!" she demanded. I just smiled under my hat and chuckled.
"Is this the welcome home I get from my favourite Princess ever?" I asked her, lifting the brim of my hat up so she could see the brown spot around my left eye. With a golden smile (not literally), I saw her face. It seemed to be frozen between blank and disbelieving. I decided to open with a joke.
"A thousand years on the moon and when you got back, you couldn't shut up. Five years out to sea and when I come back, you're speechless. Boy time sure flies when you're having fun." I followed up with a chuckle before removing the hat completely, placing it down on the arm of the chair.
"Is that... really you, Pipsqueak?" she managed to get out. I just smiled wider at her and crossed one leg over the other.
"I go by 'Captain Silver' nowadays, but yes, it's me. Surprise!" I replied.
Luna was silent for a moment before a smile crept on her face. "I can't believe it. You're back! But... what are you doing here?" she asked.
"We were running low on supplies so we docked in Manehattan to stock up. It'll take a few days, so I thought to myself," I stood up from the chair and replaced my hat on my head. "I should take the time to visit some old friends, plunder their... hidden treasures.So to speak." I said. Despite my true name, I was by no means little. I was about an inch taller than Luna and it showed at that moment. My eyes bore down on her and I could see her cheeks turn red under the moonlight gleaming through the windows.
"P-plunder?...Hidden treasures?" she was so cute when she was feigning ignorance. Subconsciously or not, she knew what I meant.
"I know they say to save the best for last, but how could I not start with my favourite Princess? As a Pirate, I'm compelled to seek out only the best. Who else would I pick first but you? The one pony who caused me to seriously reconsider becoming what I am today?" I asked.
"W-what would you have become instead?" she asked. Her legs were shaking as she backed away towards the bed. I kept close to her.
"I'd have become a Royal Guard, so I could patrol under the night and be close to you, my dear, sweet, beautiful Luna." I said, drawing closer. Luna fell onto the bed. Whether out of instinct or something else, she grabbed me and pulled me down with her. It was too easy. There we were, on the bed, me kneeling over her. A charming smile on my face that made her pant. I brought my lips closer to hers and I watched as her eyes glazed over in anticipation. It was almost as if she'd decided on the night I first said she was my favourite Princess, that she'd wait until I was old enough for this sort of thing. If that were the case, I'd be her first since before she became Nightmare Moon. Her first in over a thousand years.
As our lips brushed, she jolted; as if she'd been zapped. I fought back a chuckle and pressed down. I kept my eyes open, wanting to watch her melt into the kiss. Her own eyes were already half closed and as we continued, they just closed further and further.
It's a deadly game, the game I played. One slip of the tongue and everything would fall to pieces. Luna knew I would pursue her sister too, but after those honeyed words, she now believed that she was special regardless of my future exploits. And in more than one way, she was. I was surprised to find out that not only had I succeeded in 'plundering her treasure', but I'd also 'popped her cherry'.