//------------------------------// // Chapter 19: October 2, A Dog and Pony Show // Story: Yet Another Human In Equestria Story // by Bardic_Knowledge //------------------------------// Yet Another Human in Equestria Story By: Bardic Knowledge Chapter 19: October 2, A Dog and Pony Show “Well, this is going to be fun,” I muttered, making sure my shield was secure. “Lost and alone. Well, except for the Diamond Dogs.” Well, isn't that an exciting way to start the chapter? Perhaps I'll go into flashback mode for a bit, explain how I got there... --- I was in town with the others, generally having a good time, when Spike came running up to us, before spouting a familiar jumble of words: “Rarity-woods-jewels-dogs-hole-taken-SAVE HER!” “Oh, boy,” I muttered. “Diamond Dog time.” I reached into my coat pockets and pulled out my shield and sword (Be Prepared, after all), securing them to my arm and belt, respectively. Immediately after, we were headed off to the quarry place, following Spike's directions. I was riding on Trixie's back, since I wasn't fast enough to keep up with the lot of them when they were going full gallop. “You know what's happening, Joe?” asked Twilight, looking back at us. “Yeah. Rarity and Spike were digging up gems when they were ambushed by three Diamond Dogs, looking to have Rarity's gem-finding spell for themselves. Spike did his best to fight them off, but he was out-gunned, and they got her. So now we're on our way to save her.” “And you couldn't have mentioned this earlier?” Spike groused. “Well, I didn't know it was going to happen today. If you and/or Rarity had mentioned you were going gem hunting for Sapphire Shores or something, I'd have told you 'beware of the Diamond Dogs, they're poachers hiding in the trees' or something like that.” Having never heard the song before, I hoped I had gotten the line right. We arrived at the quarry to find most of the ground dug up, holes everywhere. Curious, I thought. Didn't Rarity just get dragged down one big hole? Why dig more? Regardless, I hopped off Trixie's back as everypony started scrambling for the, what I presumed to be, decoy holes, which were quickly filled in, the Diamond Dogs taunting and harassing the ponies until all that was left was one big hole no one had gone near yet. That must be the right one. Once everypony recovered from the “fight,” Spike pulled a fishing rod and gem out of his personal hammerspace and cast a line into the depths. I kept watch of the hole itself while he daydreamed, and, once my eyes adjusted, I could see a tiny shadowy figure encounter the glinting jewel and start racing away with it. Spike got pulled in, and caught by Applejack and she was caught by Twilight and so on until there was a chain ending in Trixie, with Pinkie and I just standing by. Until Pinkie grabbed me around the waist and hopped in after, holding Trixie's tail. “PIIIIIINKIIIIIIEEEEEE!” I shouted, until I was cut off by slamming into the ground. Pinkie dragged me along through the dirt, making me glad for the durability runes sown into the fabric of my coat and for the buffer of my shield, until we found ourselves over a large chasm. Where I slipped through Pinkie's forelegs and started falling. “Oh, this is going to hurt,” I moaned. I woke up sometime later, back aching abominably. No, wait. EVERYTHING aching. Hopefully the fall didn't break anything. Living in Equestria for so long had apparently upped my endurance, probably the ambient magic. I lay there for a bit, waiting for the pain to die down, getting up a few minutes later with a creaking sound and some groans of discomfort before taking inventory. “Okay, sword's still at my waist, shield's in place on my arm... Rope and grapple are still in my pocket.” Which was part of my plan to get in here when I had spent some time thinking the future over. “Along with emergency rations and writing implements. Dragonfire jar is still in my other pocket with my money and the miscellany. And... My sunglasses are shattered on the floor.” I stared at the dark caverns around me. “Well, this is going to be fun,” I muttered, making sure my shield was secure. “Lost and alone. Well, except for the Diamond Dogs.” I kept one hand on my sword as I walked in the approximate direction the ponies had been pulled in. After a few moments of creeping along to find nothing, I started walking more normally. Sometime after that, the cave walls (with torches every few feet) began to make me think of Minecraft. Which got me attempting to whistle, then sing, InTheLittleWood's “Screw the Nether.” After that, I wasn't alone anymore. Dig Dogs, what I called the big muscled Diamond Dogs, came pouring out of the adjoining caves, surrounding me. I instantly drew my sword and raised my shield, the dogs growling at my defensively aggressive action. “I don't want to fight,” I said, slowly. “I'm just trying to find my way out.” Somehow, this set off one of the Dig Dogs and he leapt at me with a bark, forcing me to ward him off with a shield bash. Which, of course, set off the rest of the horde. There was a flurry of bites and paws flying at me while I did my best to fend them off, slowly backing towards a wall to give them less avenues of attack. I kept my shield up and let my sword fly to ward off as many as I could until I thumped against the wall. There was a bitter taste in the air to match the red on my sword, and I held my sword at the ready, the horde prowling more than attacking at this point. I don't think I had killed any at this point, only cut their arms up pretty badly. Then the paws burst out of the wall to either side of me and wrapped around my chest and arms, a slavering mouth poised above my shoulder, ready to bite. Shit! I thought, panicked, I forgot they wereburrowing creatures! Thinking quickly, I reversed my grip on my sword and stabbed backwards with a meaty thunk. There was a gasp and a gurgle as the Dog's grip on me was loosened and I almost lost hold of my sword as he slid backwards and a shiver ran through my body. Sweet Heart of Darkness, no. With a unified howl, the other Dig Dogs began their charge. I just tucked myself behind my shield as best I could, wincing with every slam and scrape across its metal, horrified at what I had just done. This continued for quite some time, my sleeves worn away by constant attacks until my arms were exposed and then they were held apart by the mouths of two Dogs, my shield being discarded by another. “STOP!” cried a voice. “What you doing?” I looked up to see a dalmatian-looking Diamond Dog standing just beyond the Dig Dogs around me. There was a chorus of growls and barks from the horde. “This true?” he asked me. “I do not know what they said, sir. I cannot understand them.” “They say you kill-” he barked what was apparently a name “- Is true?” “Yes. I was defending myself from their attacks, and in my attempts to keep them away, I stabbed him with my sword.” There was a chorus of responding howls and barks. “SILENCE!” shouted the dalmatian again. “You regret this?” “With everything I am.” There was a tense silence. “Release him.” This was met with a series of confused whimpers and my own surprised stare. He approached me and stood me on my feet. “You are not Diamond Dog. Smell more like pony. Ponies do not kill unless they have to, and you sound same. If you not return to Diamond Dog caves ever again, you may go. But leave weapons.” “I swear upon my honour and life, I shall not trespass upon your lands again.” I had no grip on the sword anymore, and my shield was barely hanging on, so I let it fall to the ground. The dog nodded sharply, then commanded the Dig Dogs away. They left reluctantly, taking the... body of their comrade and my equipment with them. “You follow Chance. Chance show you way out,” the Diamond Dog, apparently named Chance, beckoned me after him. I followed in silence, my arms hanging limply by my sides, blood flowing slowly down them. I came out of the cave system just outside the quarry. I thanked Chance for letting me go, then trudged towards Ponyville General Hospital. Thankfully, it was on the edge of town, so I didn't frighten anypony with my haggard appearance. The doctors got me bandaged up and in a bed. I lay there for a while, coming to terms, when Trixie and the others came in, immediately moving to hug me (Apparently, a nurse was sent for Trixie, and she brought everyone else). “I'm so sorry for dropping you, Joe!” cried Pinkie. “I didn't mean to!” “I know, Pinks,” I said quietly. “None of you are to blame for this. I shouldn't have come.” “Why do you say that?” asked Twilight. I looked her in the eyes and then looked down at my right hand. “I killed a Diamond Dog,” I whispered, clenching my hand. “I was lost in their caves, they attacked me, and I fought. Until...” There was a thick silence in the room. I closed my eyes and shuddered. “If you want me to leave Ponyville, I'll talk to the Prin-” I was cut off by a series of forelegs being wrapped around me in a massive hug. “Never,” whispered Fluttershy. “We would never ask you to leave, Joe.” “She's right,” said Applejack. “You didn't want to, right? Then it ain't your fault.” “But it is!” I protested. “This isn't like the Parasprites. He was a thinking being, and I ended him.” “I'm the one who taught you how to use that sword of yours,” Trixie said. “Therefore, some of the blame should be mine as well.” “No,” I said. “The weight of his life is fully on my shoulders. And though I feel guilty and will never forget it, I know that, in time, I won't be beating myself up so much, and can move on. I'll just need more hugs for a while.” My ribs creaked as everypony obliged me. I had a follow-up report to send to the Princess later that night, but, until then, I'd just bask in the love of my friends.