'Big Mac'

by RealityWarper


The Big Mac Picture

'Big Mac'

Chapter One: "Where's 'mah Cow's!?"


It was a glorious day in Equestria, hanging from the sky, was Princess Celestia's own orb of light that shined bright like a diamond, illuminating the day, and bringing Applejack back to the world of the living as the merciless ever burning vivid shade of orange pierced her eyelids, then her dreams. Applejack groaned.

"Dear Celestia. why're 'yah doin' this? " Applejack whimpered. "Just five more minutes..." Applejack clenched her eyes and turns away from the evil sun. No, it was all a faux from the beginning! Princess Celestia was the TRUE evil sister, why didn't she see it before? The moon was sweet, gentle, and all over all- LET HER SLEEP! Luna be praised, please for just a few more hours make it night! She needed sleep!

"Sis' wake up, it's bright 'n early, we need to get ta' work. And we can't do that with 'yah in bed all day." The owner of the voice was none other than our very own protagonist/antagonist! Let's give him a round of applause people!

Whistling was heard. as well as clapping from the audience. Such dedication, makes me proud to be an author...

Big Mac's head snaps around as he searched for the cause of the commotion.

"What in tarnation was that?" Big Mac pondered as he turned back to his sister who was practically balling because we woke her up with our excitement. Poor Applejack.

"Ah' dunno, but Ah' just wanna sleep!" Applejack pleaded. She usually was the second one up, but with The Cutie Mark Crusaders around, it had been a hassle to watch them, they were always doing dumb things to get their cutie marks. And if they didn't die from their life daring-do attempts, they would die of fear from a very angry stampeding Applejack.

Appleboom happened to walk in at that minute. "hI sIS dID yOU gET soME slEEP?" She seemed to be talking loudly for some random reason. And her voice seemed to waver .Oh,it wasn't random, her ears must still be messed up from the last crusade. Being that close to bombs wasn't good for your health after all.

Seeing Applebloom up made Applejack realize she had already slept in later than she already should. "Horse Apples!" She cursed. Then she sighed. "It ain't fair..." She slowly crawled out from under her blanket, the sun beamed down on her, it's evil rays certainly dampening her mood.

An evil laugh was heard in the distance, looking out the window she saw Princess Celestia flying away cackling madly with an unstable grin on her muzzle.

Applejack gaped. "...Ah' KNEW IT!" She grouched. "The nerve!" She paused. "Welll, she's the princess so she Ah' guess she can do w'ut she wants..." Pouting, she rolled over from the ground, and slowly climbed to her hooves, where her two siblings sat waiting for her.

"Morning." Said the two, where they both headed around separate corners, one right, and one left puzzling Applejack.

"Ah' thought we were all heading downstairs?" Applejack said baffled. "Enope." was her reply from both ponies. She frowned. "Consarnit! W'ut was the point of that!?" Today must have been influenced by Pinkie Pie herself, because she had no idea what was going on. Applejack sighed.

"Well, Ah' still gotta go feed the ladies. Can't keep 'em 'a waitin' ..." She trudged out her door, pulling open with a hoof and slowly made her way down her hall, where her newly painted white walls greeted her. The squeaky brown hardwood floor indeed does what it's title is and squeaks at her, greetings out the way from her floor, she made her way down the stairs. The brown carpeted stairs soothed her ears and hooves from the harsh sounds and ugly paint, providing her a simple staircase. The simple things sometimes were the best. Upon reaching her destination she did upheld a steady decent pace at trotting, when reaching her table, she stopped for little things, like an apple. Which she, Pinkie Pie style gulped it down without so much as one bite. Breakfast done, she headed outside, opening the door the sun's heated embrace pulled her in, making sure it would love her. Where it bathed her in warmth. Applejack smiled. Despite all their problems in the morning, her and the sun got along quite well. The light shined brightly, except one part of the sun, which seemed to have sunglasses on it, blocking the light from it. The sun lifted it's hand and then the sunglasses, winking at her with one eye. Applejack smiled. They did get along great-

Wait...sunglasses, on the sun? And it winked? AND had eyes? What in tarnation?

She quickly snapped her head up to stare at the sun, the sun never burned their eyes. She bet it was the work of Celestia. It only hurt when sitting in a dark area, or sleep and then looking at it. She observed the sun for a second, it sat there without glasses-less. And without arms, she gained a confused face. What did Pinkie put in her drink? Darn that popular perky pink party pony Pinkie Pie. She pauses. Since when did she use alliteration? Gah, she was gonna put that in the "...Wut?" file section of her head. And put in to gear the "Work time!" part. Ignoring the event that DID NOT happen, she trotted into the yard, where she found big mac waiting with a hay bale, the straw of hay sticking out his muzzle as usual, he seemed a bit too cool at times. Applejack rolled her eyes and prepared to call out to Big Mac, when she saw something puzzling. There behind him, when she leaned her head. Was a pony wearing some shady clothes, and sunglasses. Applejack shivered. She was seeing these sunglasses everywhere. The pony in question seemed to have a cart on his back, in the cart seemed to be something. She wasn't sure at first, but when Big Mac opened up the case she saw BAGS of bits in the cart! She gaped.

"Here it all is, my part of the deal is fulfilled too now." The mystery pony nodded. "The Griffon Kingdom will appreciate this." The voice seemed to be enhanced with magic, so she couldn't even tell what gender the pony was. Big Mac nodded seeing everything in place.

"Eyup. Pleasure doin' business with yah'." The mystery pony nodded and in a swirl of sparkling magic 'poofed' off. Applejack was confused.

Seeing enough, Applejack called out to Big Mac. "Mac, what was all that about?" She asked confused. Her brother's head snapped to her.

"T'aint nuthin' ta' worry 'bout sis." He waved a hoof in her direction. Applejack narrowed her eyes.

"If'n yah' say so, we'll come back ta' this, but right now we gotta feed the ladies, since Applebloom already got the farm animals." It indeed became Applebloom's chore to feed the animals in the morning. It was a punish a few weeks ago for a crusade, the punishment STILL hadn't worn out.

Big Mac nodded his head. And let out a small. "Let's go then." Where they slowly made their way to the barn where the ladies were staying. Upon arrival, she opened the barn door. She knew she was an hour late, but they were always forgiving. She smiled.

"Alright ladies, sorry Ah'm late, but Ah got yah-" Applejack blinked. "...Huh?"

The barn was empty, and all the animals were gone. Including the Cows.

"Where's mah' Cow's!?" Applejack gasped horrified.

"...Huh." That 'huh' came from Big Mac. He was confused himself now. "Where is everypony?" He frowned. You would be confused, WOULDN'T YOU!? Please, we all know the truth we-

"WHOA NELLY- What's that!?" On one of the fences there was a claw mark. Looked like a griffons. Damn, shooting down my theories since the beginning of time. You bastards.

"...It looks like a claw mark." Big Mac pointed out. Applejack blinked.

"Oh, Ah' was talkin' 'bout that there ape thingy!" She pointed at me, I was sitting in the corner, being a regular old human with my laptop in hand typing the story as it went.

"DON'T MIND ME, LOOK AT THE CLUES." I said. Applejack nodded.

"Sorry!" She looked back at the clue, then she blinked. Then scrunched her face up. "Wait what?" She snapped her head back to where the 'Ape Thingy' was, only to find it wasn't there. Big Mac looked weirded out.

"Sis...what're you talkin' 'bout? There's nothing there, not the first or second time. Are yah' feeling okay?" Applejack blinked. Then cursed under her breath.

"Yeah, t'aint nuthin', don't mind me." She grimaced. Hey, Big Mac was ignoring my existence. The dick.

Applejack looked back at the clue. she shook her head. "Ah'm gonna go inta' town n' find 'em." The galloped off before he could say a thing. Jeez Applejack. you might have well just said "Let's split up gang!" with those skills.