//------------------------------// // Chemical Infatuation // Story: Captain Archangel's Next Chapter // by SabreXio //------------------------------// A trio of fillies and a young colt walked down the street of Ponyville, pouring ever thought into a very pressing issue: getting their Cutie Marks in Matchmaking. "C'mon Crusaders, If we're gonna be matchmakers we have ta find two ponies ta match." Apple Bloom said. "How about Cheerilee and, I don't now, Big Mac?" Scootaloo offered. "We can't do that. If they fall in love, then who'll help me 'n Applejack on the farm?" Apple Bloom replied. "This would be a lot easier if we knew more stallions." Sweetie Belle said. "How about that really strong pony and Fluttershy?" Apple Bloom said. "You mean Snowflake?" Scootaloo asked, "Are you crazy?" "Well, who else is there?" Sweetie Belle asked. "We've already been through all the stallions in town." Apple Bloom said, then mumbled under her breath, "All six of 'em." "Not EVERY stallion." A tinny voice said. It belonged to Equestria's first and so far only mechanized pony. Built by Archangel to test whether he could build a pony-based frame, he has since become a friendly addition to Ponyville. "What other pony is there?" Scootaloo asked the mech. "Well, technically, my dad would be considered a stallion." He said, "I've heard some of the other ponies call him that." "Wait, the Captain? Where are we gonna find another human?" Scootaloo asked. "I never said I had a plan." He said, "I'm just saying..." "Hey look!" Scootaloo said getting the other's attention. The filly pointed her hoof at something across the street. "Is that the Captain?" Scootaloo asked, "And Twilight?" The other crusaders turned to see the human soldier and the unicorn librarian, both talking about something and laughing together. "Yeah?" Sparkplug confirmed , "Why?" "I think I have an idea." A look of shock washed over Sparkplug and he scrambled away from Scootaloo, hiding behind a nearby flower bush. "What's wrong with you?" The pegesus asked. Sparkplug peeked out from behind the bush. "It's dangerous when you think." He said with a smile. Scootaloo just rolled her eyes. "At least I have an idea, Metalhead." she shot back. Sparkplug trotted out from behind his makeshift barricade. "Well? Are ya gonna tell us what it is?" "Well, Sparkplug says the Captain counts as a stallion, right?" "Right.' The others replied. "And Twilight is a mare, right?" "Yes...wait...you're not saying..." Sparkplug started to ask. "Yes." Scootaloo said, "Why don't we try to match THEM together." "That has got to be..." Sparkplug stopped to think about this for a second, then his orange eyes lit up, "...the best idea I've heard all day." "C'mon then: To the Clubhouse!" The four friends thrust their hooves into the air, Musketeer style. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MATCHMAKERS! YAY!" A little later at Crusader HQ "Ok, so I know this is our plan, but does anypony have any idea how to pull this off?" Sparkplug asked. "Ooh I know!" Sweetie Belle squeaked, "Why don't we set up some kind of romantic dinner or something. Rarity always talks about that kind of thing when she thinks I can't hear her." "I don't think that'll work, Sweetie." Sparkplug said, "We're dealing with a tactical genius and a trotting encyclopedia. We need something neither of them would see coming." "The Captain can see through walls." Scootaloo said, "How do we beat something like that?" "Sparkplug, d'ya think there's anythin' in them fancy computers that could help us?" Sparkplug brought a hoof to his face with a metallic clank. "Why didn't I think of that?" he asked rhetorically. From behind his left ear a short silver stick poked itself out from his head, a small red light blinking intermittently. Sparkplugs eyes twitched as he interfaced with his home: what the other ponies called Angel's Rest. "Ok, I'm in." he said, "But what should I look for? There has to be terabytes of data in here." "Look for how ta make two ponies fall in love." Apple Bloom suggested. Sparkplug entered his search and quickly sifted through the data he had in front of his eyes. "How much can he possibly have in there?" the impatient Pegesus asked. "More than you'd think." The robot replied, "He's been transcribing books from Twilight's library so he can access them when he needs to. So far just a bunch of history books and...Oh. That looks good." "What? What is it?" the fillies asked. "It's a recipe." he said as he scanned the information, "It was used by a prince who wanted a princess to fall in love with him. I was what started Hearts and Hooves day in the first place." "So is it a love potion or somethin'?" Apple Bloom asked. "Exactly. And it looks pretty simple: a tuft of cloud, a bright rainbow's glow, stir with a pegesus feather." he read, "It looks like if we can get them both to drink it, they'll fall in love." "That's perfect!" Sweetie Belle squeaked again, "Let's do it." Sparkplug disconnected from the database and followed his friends. If only he'd read a little further. The Crusaders set to work collecting the parts to make their love potion: Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle set to work trying to find a rainbow to use, while Sparkplug and Scootaloo went to collect a cloud. Turns out you can collect Rainbow Color with a vacuum cleaner. The Cloud would be a bit of a challenge: Sparkplug was a unicorn (kinda) and Scootaloo can't fly. "I know where there's a few low clouds, but they're still way too high up." Scootaloo said as they headed for Angel's Rest. "Don't worry about that." Sparkplug assured her, "I have an idea." Once the pair arrived, Sparkplug left Scootaloo and headed inside the vehicle bay. He knew what he needed: a Titan. They were tall enough to lift him up to one of the heavier clouds that hung around the base. As he entered the large room, he saw the various vehicles and maintenance bots. He eventually found one he could talk to. "Hi Tau, have you seen Nautilus?" He asked the multi armed mech. A whistle and beeping, followed by pointing off deeper into the bay was his answer. Sparkplug thanked him and continued on soon finding the massive robot lifting a tire onto a vehicle. The robot turned when he heard the small pony approach. "Sparkplug." he said in a deep voice. Nautilus was the replacement for the Ti-86 that had broken free. Just as a precaution, he was never armed and had his armor downgraded heavily. Nautilus didn't mind, he understood the reason and preferred working in the motor pool. "Hi Nautilus. Um, can you help me with something?" Sparkplug asked. He knew full well none of the mechs could say 'no' to him: they all saw him as a little brother. "Of course." he replied. Sparkplug lead the way back outside with Nautilus following carefully. Once outside, Sparkplug told the mech what he needed. "I need to get a piece of that cloud for...a school project." He said, knowing he couldn't tell him what he ACTUALLY needed it for: Nautilus might tell his dad. "Only Pegasi can touch clouds." Nautilus reminded him. Sparkplug gestured to the orange filly behind him. "I know, that's why I need you to lift her up to get it." Nautilus either stared or glared at the filly for a few seconds before determining this could work. He lowered a hand to the ground, letting her hop on. The look of terror on the Pegesus' face was understandable: she remembered Fluttershy telling her to hide, then seeing one of these crash through town. "Don't be scared, Scootaloo." Sparkplug said as he tapped on the Titan's foot, "Nautilus would never hurt you, right Nautilus?" "Never." He replied. With Sparkplug's promise of safety, Scootaloo climbed onto the large robot's hand. Being over nine feet tall, Nautilus was plenty big enough to lift Scootaloo to the cloud in question. Extending his arm and his reversed-jointed legs to there limits, he carefully lifted the pony into the air, just within reach of the cloud. The orange pony looked up to see her prize inches away from her. Standing on her back legs, she reached out with her muzzle to grab the cloud in her teeth. She shook her head side-to-side to break the mass of water vapor off, but quickly threw herself off balance. She fell backwards with a yelp and slid down Nautilus' arm. The Titan was too big to move fast enough to catch her, but Sparkplug jumped into action. "Scootaloo!" he shouted as he ran under where she would land. The Pegesus bounced off the armored shoulder plate, her tiny wings buzzing to try to stop herself. Just when she expected to feel the ground, she instead felt cold metal under her. Did Nautilus catch me? She thought. She opened her eyes, which had been closed tightly when she fell, and saw the familiar steel colored eyes of the Captain. "Nice of you to drop in." He said with a smile. She froze when she saw him: She had to be careful not to let on to what she was doing. "Dad?" Sparkplug said in surprise, "When did you get here?" "I came back to get a book for Twilight on artificial intelligence." He replied as he let the pegesus jump back on the ground, "That's when I saw the three of you trying to catch a cloud." "Yeah, we needed it for Hearts and Hooves Day." Scootaloo said, trying not to let on she wasn't telling the whole truth. She didn't know Sparkplug had already given them a cover story. "Not a school project?" Nautilus asked before looking to the ponybot, "You said it was for school." Archangel could see something wasn't right here. "Sparky, what's going on?" he asked. Now he was in trouble: he couldn't say he was making a potion, and the school project cover was blown. Luckily, Scootaloo had it covered. "We needed it to make something for Miss Cheerilee." she said, "She's such a good teacher, we wanted to make something really special for her." "Yeah, that's what I meant." the ponybot said quickly, "I didn't want anyone to find out about it." The Captain and the Titan looked to each other as though trying to figure out what just happened. But eventually the soldier turned back. "Ok then, have fun." he said. The two ponies thanked him and quickly ran off to the Clubhouse. "That was WAY too close." Sparkplug said as they entered the treehouse. They were greeted by the other half of the group who already had their part of the potion ready in a pitcher. "What took ya'll so long?" Apple Bloom said as Scootaloo dropped the cloud into the concoction. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get cloud when you can't fly?" Sparkplug asked, "Oh that reminds me..." "Hey, what are you..?" Scootaloo was trying to ask. Before she could finish, Sparkplug's head had dropped to her left wing, where he grabbed a feather in his teeth and yanked it out. "OW!" the filly yelped, examining her tiny wing, "Why'd you do that?" "Stir with a pegesus feather." He reminded her. Giving the mixture a few stirs with the feather, Sparkplug completed the potion, evident by the pink heart-shaped puff of smoke that shot out of it. "OK, stage one is complete." Sparkplug said, "How do we get them to drink it?" "I know just the thing..." Sweetie Belle said. "I'm back Twi." I said as I returned to the library. I had to leave to get a book I had on Artificial Intelligence. We'd been hanging out today, since neither of us really like Hearts and Hooves day, and I had no massively important things to do. "Hey Jack, did you put this here?" The unicorn asked as the door swung shut. I looked to see what she was talking about: on the table in the library was a large bottle filled with a pink liquid, as well as a pair of small glasses. "I just got back, sorry it took so long, my technician needed me to look at something." I said, "You didn't see who did it?" I took the bottle and looked it over: it looked like a normal wine bottle, but it didn't have a label. I took the cork and pulled it out releasing a puff of pink smoke. "Smells kinda like wine." I said, "You don't keep alcohol here, do you?" "No, I really don't need Spike accidentally drinking something even a little flammable." she replied. "Well then, care for a drink?" I asked. She looked a little hesitant. "We have no idea where that came from, what if it's bad or something?" I held my hand open and tipped the bottle over, getting a drop to land in my palm. The semi-porous material let the liquid sink in, where my computers began to analyze it. A few seconds later, it came up safe. "Relax, there's nothing dangerous in it." I said, "It doesn't even look like it has that much alcohol in it." She still looked a little nervous. "Well..." she replied sheepishly, "if YOU say it's safe...I guess a little couldn't hurt." "That's the spirit." I said, as I grabbed the pair of glasses "Heh, 'spirit'." I poured about half a glass for each of us, before putting the bottle down and letting Twilight take hers with her magic. "To friends?" I said, offering my glass. "Friends." She replied with a smile, clinking her glass on mine. We both downed the pink liquid, which burned like moonshine the whole way down. I coughed as the contents hit my stomach, shaking my head to try to clear the taste of ethanol. "Jesus, who's liquor cabinet did this come from?" I asked with a cough, "It tastes like jet fuel." I looked to Twilight, mostly to see how she was adjusting to the powerful mix. What I saw was completely different. Twilight's eyes were only half-open, like she was really sleepy and she was staring right into my eyes, kind creepy. "Uh, you alright Twi?" I asked. She never looked away from me. Her smile softened. "I'm here with you." She replied in a tone I could only describe as amorous, "Everything's just perfect" That's when I started feeling weird. All my muscles and servos began to relax, and my cheeks started to heat up. I watched my HUD fade from view, leaving only the Unicorn in front of me. "You know, I never noticed how cute you are." I said with a calm smile, "And I always did like smart girls." What the fuck? Why in the hell did you just say that? I felt like when my chaotic side had forced itself into control and I felt bolts of pleasure run through me like sniper rounds. Why the hell was this happening? I mean, I like Twilight and all, but not like this. "You always know what to say." Twilight cooed with a blush. She slowly walked toward me as I tried to back up. I felt paralyzed as she approached me: my body wasn't even acting like it could hear my brain screaming at it to do something, anything, to get away. Twilight stood up on her back legs, supporting herself on my chest with the front ones. We were eye to eye, inches apart. I was losing my shit inside, but outside, I must have looked like I was enjoying this. "Alert: Emotional safeguards exceeded." A voice in my head said as my eyes blacked out, "Dumping data to emergency drive." Uh oh "Shutting down." Reinitializing ... ... ... Diagnostics Complete "Good to see you are still with us." A computerized voice said. I opened my eyes to see Guardian standing in front of me. "What the hell happened?" I asked as I rubbed my head. I looked around to see I was sitting on the couch in the Library, with Twilight curled up next to me, asleep. I very ungracefully scooted away from her, not wanting whatever had happened before to continue. "You need not be worried, Captain. Ms. Sparkle is sleeping off the tranquilizer I gave her." Guardian said. "You tranq'ed her?" I asked. "She would not allow me near you, so I had to." He replied, "It will cause no side effects. The potion on the other hand..." He produced the bottle from earlier. "Potion?" "Yes, analysis indicates it is designed to create a powerful aphrodesic effect." He explained, "It appears to work with the optic center of the brain. Whenever the drinkers see one another, a massive amount of dopamine is release, creating an addicting effect as well as perpetuating the toxin." "So it feeds itself." "Yes, however, if starved of dopamine for long enough, it will not have enough fuel to continue." "But how long does that take?" I asked, "And how shitty am i going to feel?" "My estimation predicts it takes one hour for the effects to dissipate. You will not suffer any withdrawal symptoms." "No withdrawal?" I asked, "That much stimulation must have a drawback." "You do not suffer from such reactions." He turned his gaze to Twilight, "Ms. Sparkle will not be so lucky." "Anything we can do?" I asked. Now that she wasn't creepily obsessed with me, I really did want to help her. "Water and food might help." he replied, "No real remedy for this exists." I nodded and headed for Twilight's kitchen. I returned a few minutes later with a tall glass of water. "I'm not messing with anything in there." I said, "It's all labeled and alphabetized." "Given who lives here, does that surprise you?" Guardian asked. I answered with a chuckle. I set the glass down on the table and just watched her sleep, waiting for her to wake up. That's when a thought entered my head. "Hey, G, how weird would it be if I DID fall in love with a pony?" I asked. "You just did." He replied. "No, I mean naturally." I clarified, "Like, legitimately." "Was there a mare you had in mind?" he asked "Are you going to answer me or keep being a smartass?" "You are worried whether it would be considered inappropriate?" He asked. I nodded. "I am unfamiliar with relationships." Guardian said, "But if both are able to make the decision to enter one, does species truly matter?" "You're the only one I know that can apply logic to love and have it work." Later The explosion of fireworks overhead filled the air as Firestorm and Ponyville's resident pyro-technician, Powder Keg, put on a show for Hearts and Hooves Day. I had to admit, from the tree I was sitting under, it looked awesome. Everything was heart shaped and red or pink: not my colors, but still... "Mind if I join you?" I looked to see it was Twilight. "I see you're feeling better." I said. "Thanks to you and Guardian." She solemnly replied. "Anything for a friend." I said. The pony sat down next to me. She seemed a little tense. "You sure you're ok?" "I just can't believe what happened." she said, "I mean, us falling in love?" "Am I not good enough for you?" I asked. She started to turn red. "No! I mean...I just..." She stuttered. "I'm just kidding, Twi." I chuckled. She just scowled an punched me in the shoulder. "You're mean." she said playfully. "I never said I was nice." I reminded her, "That was you girls." We sat in silence for a few seconds, before she asked another question. "So, do you really think I'm cute?" Twilight asked. I turned to look at her, really hoping she didn't just ask that. "Do I have to answer that?" I asked. The unicorn turned to me, a devious smile set on her muzzle. "No, it's just fun to see you turn that red." she replied, giggling at my discomfort. "Just watch the damn fireworks."