//------------------------------//
// Chapter Five: The Worst Story Ever 
// Story: Vinyl and Octavia Engage in Roleplay 
// by DoctorSpectrum 
//------------------------------//

“Alright, so the two of you enter the temple,” Natural Twenty said, around fifteen minutes later after regaining consciousness, “and Vinyl manages to fly Octavia over the tiles.” He flinched a little as he looked at Vinyl, who gave a nod of approval. “From there, the two of you find yourselves in a large, round room.”
 
“Are there still tiles on the ground?” asked Octavia.
 
“No, everything here is made of a smooth, rocky surface,” Natural Twenty replied. “What would you like to do, you two?”
 
“Are there any doors, passages, or corridors that might lead to other parts of the temple?” asked Octavia.
 
“Can I check for hidden traps or passageways?” asked Vinyl eagerly.
 
“No, Octavia, there are none, and yes, Vinyl, you may. Roll a Perception check.”
 
Vinyl rolled the die. “Seventeen,” she said. “With my Perception bonus, that’s a twenty-six.” Grinning eagerly, she asked, “What do I see?”
 
“Nothing. Although you scour every inch of the room, you fail to find any sort of traps, levers, or anything else that could potentially trigger something,” said Natural Twenty.
 
“What? This room is bullshit!” exclaimed Vinyl.
 
“I will admit that I am rather disappointed by the lack of loot,” Octavia reluctantly agreed.
 
“Have you tried looking at the pedestal?” asked Natural Twenty.
 
“…What pedestal?” asked Octavia, raising an eyebrow.
 
“The pedestal in the centre of the room, obviously,” said Natural Twenty.
 
“You didn’t mention it before,” Octavia said. “Where did it come from?”
 
“…Shit, did I forget to mention the pedestal?” asked Natural Twenty, frowning as he scrolled through his notes. “Bother, it looks as though I have. Well in that case, Vinyl accidentally activates a hidden lever which causes a pedestal to spring up in the middle of the room.”
 
“I do? Shit, roll to avoid whatever it shoots out!” Vinyl said, quickly rolling a d20.
 
“I’ll roll to hide behind Vinyl and use her as a shield!” Octavia said, also rolling one of hers.
 
“Uh…guys, the pedestal isn’t doing anything,” said Natural Twenty. “It’s just a pedestal.”
 
“Like hay it is,” said Octavia. “Knowing you it’s probably a trap, or a creature disguised as a pedestal, or something such as that.”
 
“I’ll roll an Arcana check to destroy it with my magic!” said Vinyl, rolling another die.
 
“Guys, it’s not a trap, it’s a –”
 
“Natural twenty! That probably means I destroyed it! What now?” Vinyl asked.
 
“Fine,” Natural Twenty said, rolling his eyes, “you successfully destroy the evil pedestal. Now that it’s out of the way, another, much less evil pedestal appears in its place, and –”
 
“Roll to destroy this one!” said Vinyl. “Another natural twenty! It’s gone!”
 
“Would you stop destroying the bloody pedestals?” Natural Twenty asked, his teeth gritted. “I am trying to help you here.”
 
“…Can we trust him?” Vinyl asked Octavia.
 
“Just go along with it, or he’ll bring more hydras out,” Octavia sighed.
 
“Thank you, Octavia. Now, a third pedestal comes out of the ground, this one covered in hieroglyphs, and with three indents in its surface,” Natural Twenty narrated. “What shall you do?”
 
“Destroy i-”
 
“I shall go over and try to read it,” Octavia quickly said. “Since I assume that I cannot instantly understand it, I shall roll a History check to see whether I recognise any of the hieroglyphs.”
 
“Sure, that works,” said Natural Twenty. “What did you roll?”
 
“A thirteen,” said Octavia, grimacing.
 
“Well, that should be more than enough to-”
 
“No, I meant a thirteen with my Knowledge skill added,” Octavia explained. “I rolled a two with the die.”
 
“Oh,” said Natural Twenty. “Well then, no, you can’t understand the hieroglyphs. Vinyl, would you care to try to read them?”
 
“Pfft, you serious?” asked Vinyl. “The pedestal will just explode in my face or something and I’ll die. Nope, I’m not approaching the pedestal like a sucker.” After a quick glance at Octavia, she hastily added, “No offence, Octavia.”
 
“None taken, Vinyl. So, Natural Twenty, what do we do now that I cannot read the hieroglyphs?” Octavia asked.
 
“Well, uh, I guess you two would just sit there, since there’s not much more to do in the room,” Natural Twenty replied awkwardly. A silence fell between the group.
 
“Why is this guy our DM again, Octavia?” Vinyl whispered to Octavia as she leant over to the Earth pony. “He doesn’t seem very good!”
 
“Natural Twenty is an old friend of mine, and a fine DM,” Octavia whispered back. “Why, I remember back in our university days, he’d…well, he’d… hmm…”
 
“What is it?”
 
“…Now that I recall it, I believe that the reason I enjoyed roleplaying with Natural Twenty in university so much was because the entire party teamed up with me to make his game as difficult and excruciating as possible,” Octavia mused. Turning to Natural Twenty, she asked, “That sounds about right, doesn’t it?”
 
“Oh, naturally, but in turn it gave me an excuse to create ridiculously broken characters and bosses to make the game as difficult as possible for the party,” Natural Twenty agreed. “It was a strange symbiosis we had – each of us trying to be as annoying as possible, and having great fun in either executing or sabotaging plans. Great times.”
 
“Indeed they were – we shall have to get the old gang back together one day,” said Octavia warmly. “At any rate, what are we doing in this roleplay?”
 
“Well, since you can’t read the hieroglyphs, and Vinyl refuses to, there’s not much more you can do in this temple,” explained Natural Twenty. “And to be perfectly honest, that sort of kills the campaign right here.”
 
“Can I not try and read the glyphs again?” Octavia pleaded. “It seems a bit silly to stop the quest before it has even started due to a mere bad die roll.”
 
“I suppose so, but I’ll only allow it this once,” sighed Natural Twenty. “Go ahead then.”

Octavia grimaced as she saw the result of the d20 she had rolled. “Is a fifteen with modifiers good enough to read them?” she asked, already sure of what the answer would be.
 
“One more and you would have been alright,” said Natural Twenty, “but alas, you fail to read them.” There was silence for a moment before he continued. “Well, as much as I hate to say it, it looks as though this campaign is –”
 
“Right then!” interrupted Vinyl. “It looks like as usual, everything’s up to me!” She picked up a d20 and rolled it. “Twenty-eight with modifiers! What does that do?”
 
“Good job, Vinyl,” commended Natural Twenty, “that’s enough to understand the hieroglyphs. Now, you –”
 
“Huh? Read the hieroglyphs?” Vinyl asked, confused. “That’s not what I was rolling for. I was rolling to destroy the pedestal.”
 
Natural Twenty facehoofed. “Vinyl, could you please stop that? I am trying to continue the campaign here!”
 
“…You just flat-out said that you used to try and torment Octavia’s group as much as possible,” Vinyl pointed out. “What makes you think I won’t be suspicious of traps now?”
 
“But that one only had thr- okay, you know what?” Natural Twenty asked. “You destroy the pedestal using your magic, another one pops up, but since you used your magic to destroy the first, a magical anomaly occurs and you get the knowledge of the hieroglyphs.”
 
“…Should I roll a saving throw against this?” Vinyl asked Octavia, raising an eyebrow. Octavia shrugged in response.
 
“Anyway, the hieroglyphs say that there is a great treasure in the temple-”
 
“Where?!” Octavia shouted, her eyes lighting up and a grin large enough to rival Vinyl’s appearing upon her face.
 
“- that will appear to the one who gathers the three tablets and brings them to the temple,” finished Natural Twenty.
 
“So in order for us to obtain the loot, all we need do is find these three tablets?” Octavia asked excitedly. “Where are they?!”
 
“Unfortunately, the hieroglyph only mentions the location of the first – in the hooves of a primitive tribe who live in a deeper part of the Amarezon.” Natural Twenty grinned. “Looks as though you two will have to go deeper into the jungle if you want to continue the campaign!”
 
“Fine by me,” agreed Octavia. “They might know where the next tablet is. Now, Vinyl and I shall leave the temple, and –”
 
“Wait a minute,” Vinyl interrupted, “are you seriously saying that the story of this campaign is that we’re just grabbing some treasure from a temple?”
 
“Yes,” confirmed Natural Twenty, “that is pretty much it.”’
 
“No evil sorcerous overlord trying to kill the princesses?” Vinyl questioned. “No army of unforetold darkness and evil rising up from aeons past to wreak havoc and chaos wherever they trot? No curse upon the royal family, forcing ponies to-”
 
“What’s your point?” interrupted Natural Twenty.
 
“The point is, this is the best story you can create? That we’re randomly going to go after treasure in a random temple we find for the sake of doing so?”
 
“Well, I certainly am,” muttered Octavia.
 
“I mean it – it just feels so weak for a campaign, y’know?” Vinyl said. “I’ve always pictured Pony Tales campaigns as being these epic things that have the entirety of Equestrian mythology and history to draw on for inspiration, and you’re giving us a treasure hunt? That feels kinda… disappointing.”
 
“Well, in my defence, I only had about a day to prepare the campaign,” countered Natural Twenty, “and the novel which I based this upon did have a treasure hunt at the centre of it.”
 
“Yeah…I guess you’ve got a point…” Vinyl reluctantly agreed, “but I mean… it still feels very small-scale.”
 
“Well I also figured that this would be a good story since Octavia is addicted to loot,” Natural Twenty added, “and this way I could be sure that she at least wouldn’t try to screw around with the story too much.”
 
“Hey! I am not addicted to getting loot!” Octavia protested. “I just like to know that I am getting the most out of the game.”
 
“Did I mention that you noticed a fedora hat below a nearby bush as you exited the temple?” Natural Twenty asked, a smirk appearing on his face.
 
“Mine!” Octavia shouted. “I put it on! What does it do?!”
 
“It sets you on fire for –” Natural Twenty rolled some dice “- wow, twenty-three points of damage!”
 
“What? That’s ridiculous!” Octavia said angrily as she rewrote some numbers on her character sheet.
 
“It wouldn’t have happened if you had checked the hat before putting it on,” Natural Twenty pointed out. “All you’ve done is proved my point – you are addicted to acquiring loot, are you not?”
 
“I am not addicted,” said Octavia dismissively. “Anyway, shall we continue with our quest to acquire loot from the temple? I am eager to start.”
 
“Sure,” said Natural Twenty. “The two of you have exited the temple with no issues, aside from Octavia nearly burning herself to death with the hat she found. Speaking of, you may wish to take that hat off.”
 
“I take the hat off!” Octavia said hastily.
 
“Good job, Octavia,” said Vinyl, grinning. “Now, let’s get out into the jungle and after that tablet!”