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// Butt Plugin Bitch! 
// Story: A Whole New World 
// by Van50608 
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Chapter 32 Butt Plugin Bitch!

Hey guys what is up? Well I got an editor his name is Uranium Spoon and he is an editing boss! He's done up to chapter 2 and I can already tell that everything is going to turn out super special awesome! Well I'm also on Spring Break so epect more updates than usual. Whoppe! 

-Van 

We were all exhausted from our previous experience that night. Everypony had fallen asleep, because they were to lazy to actually walk themselves home. So we decided that it would be best to sleep on that hill. Hey Equestrian hills are pretty fucking fluffy so it seemed like the most Limey choice. Vinyl and Jacob had snuggled up while Rarity was sleeping on Graham's stomach. I was the first to wake up, and decided that I would leave this peaceful scene to go get some breakfast. A daffodil sandwich sounded pretty delicious right now. I tried  to move my hind legs to get up, but they were being wrapped around by an adorkable Twilight Sparkle.

I thought to myself "I guess I'll be here for awhile."

"Well you could always talk to me." a mysterious voice said.

I asked "Who in the name of God's green earth are you?"

He replied "I am you moral, your ethic, your urges."

"So you are my soul?" I asked

He said "Yes."

I said "Sweet! Hey what's my favorite color?"

"Midnight blue." it replied

"Fuck berries you got me! So what do you know what a Butt Plug is?" I asked

He replied "No, I do not know of this "Butt Plug" you speak of."

I said "Geez does my soul live under a rock?"

He said "Only if you consider your brain the size of a rock."

I replied "Oooh low blow man. Low blow."

He said "So what is this butt plug?"

"It's in Call of Duty. You hide under a rock in Search and Destroy with a M320 GLM and when they are planting the bomb so it up their poop shoot for the direct impact kill. Then yell BUTT PLUG BITCH."  I said all in one breath.

He replied " Well then that was weird.  I got to go your purple marefriend is waking up."

"She's not my marefriend!" I yelled as his voice began to dissipate.

Right after talk to my soul for what was about an hour or two Twilight began to stir for her peaceful slumber she said "Where are we?"

I said "On top  of some hill that we decided was comfy enough to sleep on."

She said "Oh well I think that we need to wake the others and get something to eat."

I said "That sounds great, but your kinda wrapped around my legs."

She looked down at the awkward position she was in blushed a deep crimson, and began to apologize. I just told her that it was fine and that we should begin to wake the others. We began to rouse each one of them from their sleeps, but the best thing was when we got to Jacob and Vinyl they both mumbled "Five more minutes."

I say "Come on guys we are starving get your asses in gear you two can cuddle later."

Jacob reluctantly got and said "Fine bro, but I chose were we eat."

I said "Deal."

He says "Were going to go home and cook breakfast there for everypony."

I say "No we will have then for dinner."

He says "Well I get my cuddle time back."

I say "Well I still have your man card from the time you didn't want to show your dick on chat roulette!"

He yells "Well excuse me for being faithful!"

I yell back "Well she was really fucking hot! Right guys?"

"Bomb shell." Cory says.

"11/10" Grant agreed

Jacob finally complied "Fine, but dinner our house tonight and we make pancakes for lunch."

Michael said "Yeah bro that sounds good."

Elliott said "Dammit I wanted Waffles!"

I reply "Well then can you think of something more toolish than swag?"

He replies "Pimp daddy, 90 angle, flat bill hat, white but black swag."

Graham says "Well I guess we're having waffles."

"Agreed." we all said as we began out long walk back to the house.

After our waffletastic breakfast Cory wanted me to show him what a Butt Plug was so I fired up the Xbox and jumped in a game of search and destroy. I hid near the A bomb and played dead until I was the last alive. I saw the last guy in the other team begin to plant so I pull out the M320 shoot him up the ass and yell BUTT PLUG BITCH!

Michael was dumb founded he said "Dude how the fuck did you just do that?!?"

Elliott said "Don't doubt the mighty butt plug bitch!"

Graham muttered "Never again."

After the game we still had about Five hours until we had to begin the dinner. So I decided that I would spend time with my my favorite Princess. I teleport to the castle to where I'm greeted by some of the royal guards.

They say "Stop! What is your business?"

"I'm going to see my marefriend." I say

They say "Workers inside the castle cannot be visited during the day."

I say " Princess Luna isn't a worker."

They look at each other realizing their blunder. They say "Our apologies prince Van."

I say "Its fine. Take it easy boys."

They give me a crisp salute as a walk into the castle. "Hmmm prince Van I like the ring on it." I think to myself as I walk down the grand hall. When I reach the court room I peer in to see that Luna has court duty today. "Maybe I'll come back another time." I think, but it's to late. She's spotted me and waves for me to come in. This is going to be a long four and a half hours.

Random Quote: It's not easy being cheesy. Chester Cheeto