Celestia Dimwit

by GrimWolf


Chapter 1

After Twilight Sparkle’s coronation, Equestria rejoiced to celebrate its newest princess. In Canterlot, an elegant parade and a banquet was organized to honor Twilight. A celebration of that magnitude hadn’t been seen in decades.

When the celebration ended, everypony returned to their duties. It seemed Princes Celestia had put aside urgent matters in order to get everything ready for the new Alicorn. So after the festivities ended, she went back to work.

It was very late at the palace. Princess Celestia was still at the throne room working. Except for the light of a candle and her magic, the room was dominated by darkness.
A quill and papers floated above Celestia’s head. The moving objects glowing with magic moved fast as Celestia’s expression reflected not only concentration, but tiredness.

“So much to do, I must finish all this by morning.” The white alicorn murmured.

Celestia continued with her work. For another hour she reviewed her documents and when the pile of papers had reduced a bit in size, somepony entered the room. It was a white unicorn wearing glasses with an ink and quill cutie mark. Her name was Raven, Celestia’s personal aide. The tip of her horn barely surface from her dark mane as it glowed.

Raven approached the princess while carrying another pile of papers. Celestia paused and observer the new documents. She reviews then for a moment as Raven patiently waited in silence.

“Great Galloping Gala preparations, guest appearance on Sweet Acres, Supervising Wonder bolts candidate tryouts, agenda with Ponyville mayor…” Princess Celestia read frustrated.
“I still have to write up other dozen urgent documents, majesty.” Raven stated tired.

“Oh my!” Equestria’s princess exclaimed. “Finish them and I’ll see you in the morning, Raven. I’ll handle it from here.”

After raising the sun from the balcony, Celestia returned to her duties. She was near to complete the last document, when her tiredness made her spill ink on the already finished papers.

“Oh no! No please.” Celestia exclaimed.

As the princess tired to salvage the papers a familiar figure appeared before the Alicorn.
“Salutations, your majesty; I can see what are you doing and I can only say that is very rude from you not inviting me to enjoy this marvelous example of Chaos you are creating here.” The creature exclaims in a refined tone. “Tsk Tsk Tsk.”

“Now is not the time, Discord.” Celestia said as she inspected the ruined documents.

“Even though this is entertaining, I must put it aside and offer my help. After all I’m in debt with you for sharing the magic of friendship with me.” Discord said it as he bowed respectfully. “I could add the fact about not being turned to stone again, but we better not talk about that.”

“There’s not much you can do, Discord.” Celestia responded. “I have to do these again, personally, and I only have a couple of hours to do so.”

“Oh my, what a tragedy, my princess; but look at yourself.” Discord replies while transforming his head into a mirror. “You are tired, stressed out and angry. I can offer you a way to give you a fresh start, a clear mind, taking away all your frustration to be at your best, huh?”

“I appreciate it, Discord, but no thank you. I admit I’m not at my best right now and I need rest, but magic can’t fix everything.” Celestia told Discord as she started re-writing the documents.

“Oh no, no, no; your Majesty. I must insist.” Discord placed himself behind Celestia and whispered at her ear as he moves her arms around the sides of the princess head. “Relax and concentrate. Think about your little ponies. Now review their persona.”

Discord’s head started changing into random pony heads. Celestia with her eyes closed murmured the names of the ponies and Discord’s head changed into that particular creature. The documents softly landed over the carpet as the magic of her horn ceased.

“Now pick one of your subjects. Pick the one less stressed, the one you know worries the less…” Discord instructed Celestia as his head changed into Pinky Pie. “No, no, no, pick the one who would withstand calmed the level of stress you are experiencing now. The less occupied, happier, most simpleminded pony You will share her mind.… Excellent choice, heh, heh!”

Hours later, Raven entered the throne room aand stopped, mouth gaping at the incredible scene. Princess Celestia is alone at the room and she is scribbling all over the papers with a silly smile at her face.

“Your highness, what is going on here?” Raven exclaimed as she approached slowly and peeked at the annotations on one of the official documents and was written with a green crayon.

“Foreign tongues ... I heard it’s impossible to touch your elbow with your tongue, but that can't be right, I wonder...”

Nervous, Raven asked the princess, “Is it OK that the commerce treaty has a drawing of you yelling, I’m best princess? Princess, why do you have the crown in your mouth? Princess is that lipstick on your mouth? What's with this letter? Who is this Bulk Biceps you are writing about?”

As Raven asked the Princess for a reasonable motive for her behavior, a bucket levitated over the aide. Celestia contained her laughing as she peeked over Raven’s head. Then the inevitable happened as the princess rolled over the floor laughing.

“What is this?!” Raven exclaimed, frustrated.

The bucket had fallen over Celestias aide’s head. The bucket enclosed Raven’s head and slowly dripped a thick yellow liquid. The princess laughed like a four year old as the white unicorn tried to take off the bucket.

“You’re so funny! Celestia exclaimed. “It’ll be cool to see how you get out of that glue.”

“You said Glue? My hair, somepony get this thing off my head!” Raven exclaimed as she turned her encased head.

Raven turned around and walked toward the entrance. Celestia walked aside of Raven and moved a vase in its pedestal to blocked Raven’s way making her trip. Celestia contained her laugh as Raven stood up. She repeated the same prank until Raven bumped into the gates and finally exited the throne room.

Celestia couldn’t contain anymore and bust out in laughter. She walked back to her papers while imitating Raven’s clumsy walking. She them looked at the papers and twisted her mouth to the side.

“Hmm… all this looks boring. I’ll fix all this dumb rules and make them awesome!” Celestia proclaimed.