//------------------------------// // Chapter 3 // Story: Big Macintosh's Story // by LtMajorDude //------------------------------// The next day It was a beautiful morning. Celestia's sun starte- Let's just skip to the chase. Big Macintosh woke up. "It happened again..." He got off of his bed. OK. AppleBloom, say good morning to your 'brother' and Granny Smith...just...do whatever you do. Big Macintosh quickly turned around. "Who's there?" What do ya mean the new Applejack can't cook?-! Just...make something! I don't care! Big Macintosh twitched his eye. "Somepony's here." AppleBloom! What's taking you so long?-! "WHERE ARE YOU?-!" "Macintosh!" Big Macintosh turned around and saw AppleBloom. "AppleBloom! Did ya hear that..." "No. I didn't hear The Author talking!" AppleBloom said with a shrug. Big Macintosh gave her a glare. "What did ya say...?" He whispered. AppleBloom's ears dropped. "Uh...I...um...ah..." Nice going 'AppleBloom,' you're fired. Somepony knock out Big Mac. "SHOW YOURSELF, WHOEVER YOU ARE!" shouted Big Macintosh. A yellow mare who looked like Applejack came with a chair and hit Big Macintosh in the head, knocking him out. CHAPTER END A human sighed as he put his hand on his forehead. He rocked his chair he was sitting on. He was in a room filled with computers, devices, and his pony staff. There was a large screen in front of the human. "Get the AppleBloom actress." He said blankly. A pony who looked like AppleBloom walked into the room. She let out a nervous look as she stood before the human. "Alright look." The doppelgänger said with a New York accent. "I screwed up, ok? But I promise I..." "I promise you're fired." The human interrupted. The AppleBloom look-alike let out a shocked face before it turned into an angry face. "Alright! The buck with youse! I don't need this crap! There are other fan fictions to star in! I'll be in a good fan fiction! Maybe this one where I meet these other stupid blank flanks in a forest..." She shouted as she walked away. The human rolled his eyes. "A little rough, huh Author?" The human's mare assistant said. "Full name please." "Oh...um...The Author." "Thank ye very much." The human said as he let out a cheerful smile. "Let's see what the readers think!" He took out a remote control and pointed it to the large screen. He pressed a button and the screen turned on. "Let's see...ZAGNA says, 'Get off of this fanfic site.' Some guy put a Luna picture saying 'The trolling has doubled.' Shinbu replies, 'Dude are you gay? You stupid piece of sh...' OK. Who were supposed to filter the negative reviews? Oh, wait wait wait. Hah. I remember this." He clicked on his remote and a portion of the screen enlarged. Applejack: You sick monster! Who the heck do ya think you are for tricking mah big brother into your lousy story! AppleBloom: You meanie! Bring back my big brother! Cheerilee: Damn you for taking the pony I love and putting him in this nightmare you call your 'fan fiction!' Pinkie Pie: Why haven't I appeared in your story yet?! The Author smiled. "I didn't know they would still be commenting this. That's good." He leaned from his chair. "Hold up. I'm getting another comment from Deftones89MX." A teenager laying down in his bed was diddling on his phone. His room was covered with pictures of his posse known as The Family. "Nice story. Just some errors you need to fix." The teenager typed. "Send. Hopefully this story will get updated soon. I could always play Left 4 Dead 2 in my Xbox 360 to kill some time." The Author sighed. "The day I see a comment from Deftones89MX that doesn't have the word 'error' is the day they release Half-Life 3...Oh well, thanks anyway Deftones89MX. You were my first commenter." "Um...sir...I've always wonder...what if Big Macintosh tried to escape?" "Fat chance. That fake story where his father was killed in the Everfree Forest should keep him away from the exit." The Author put his hand in his chin. "I think now is the perfect time that Big Macintosh proposed to Rarity." He took out a walkie talkie. "Hey Rarity actress." "I have a name ya know," said a voice that sounded like Rarity's voice but with a cockney accent. "But yes?" "You think you can marry Big Macintosh? As part of the story?" "Sure. I can do marriage. I'm just not doing babies." "I didn't say anything about kids, but I could always just make you wear a fat suit to make you look pregnant and adopt some kids. The dumber they are, the more Big Macky has to stay! Oh and you are getting an raise." "Sweet!" The Rarirty actress exclaimed as she turned off her walkie talkie. "So!" The Author exclaimed as he clapped his hands. "Let's work on the next chapter! Make Big Mac wake up in his bed. Make the actors and actresses convince that it was a bad dream. Simple! Nothing can go wrong!"