"So, you guys are telling me..." Rainbow Dash turned around and paced through the air of He Who Bags Well's cave. "...that all this time you big bad strong buffalo have been hiding away from a giant lizard that turns bison to stone with its eyes?"
"With its eye, buffalo," Buffalo Who Bags Well emphasized. "I took one out, remember?"
"Then in all the times that creep has dipped down here to take more buffalo, why didn't you just—y'know—take the other one out?!"
"Easier said than done, buffalo," the leader replied with a groan. He stood before a tall mirror, gazing lethargically at his muscular limbs. "The first eye was taken by chance. He went after my mother, thinking she was an easy prey."
"And you took a buffalo long time showing a buffalo spine in slaying him, buffalo!" croaked a voice from the shadows.
He Who Bags Well gnashed his teeth. "Who's telling the buffalo-dayum story, mother?!"
"Okay. I get it." Rainbow Dash folded her forelimbs. "Once stabbed, twice shy. The big dude's made himself scarce every time he's come back to claim another buffalo. Even still! I don't see why you guy stand for it!"
"We have no choice but to stand for it, buffalo." He Who Bags Well hung his bulky head. "Or sit for it or run for it or hide for it."
"But you guys know how to do the sunlight thingy!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "Certainly that is enough to send the freak into hiding!"
"No. It is not enough, buffalo. We can only send him fleeing. We cannot bleed or gut the creature."
"Well, how about hiring dudes from the valley?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Ponies! Or-or-or mountain rams! Yeah! Those guys seem friendly and hardheaded enough to take on any pesk! No matter how big... or... erm... deadly..."
"Do you even hear how you speak, buffalo?"
Rainbow frowned. "Do you?!"
"The monster is too buffalo big and too buffalo dangerous for anything in Equestria. All we can do is hope to evade its gaze, buffalo. So, as you can see..." Buffalo Who Bags Well gestured. "We are not in the position to eat or buy your precious hubcaps."
Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth, shaking in anger. After a while, she froze, took a deep breath, and asked, "Well, obviously you guys got some edge that you're using! How do you all know when the Slithering is coming?"
"Hmmm?"
"When Churning and I came back, the caves and tunnels were empty! You guys somehow knew that the basilisk had returned!"
"That is a job that I take care of," He Who Bags Well said. "I watch the beacon, after all."
"The beacon?" Rainbow asked, blinking.
"Tell her about the buffalo beacon, buffalo!"
"I am, mother!" With a groan, the leader shuffled across the cave, approached a lone pedestal covered in a filmy tarp, and pulled the blanket right off. A slimy eye rotated in a liquid-filled jar, its slitted iris reflecting Rainbow Dash with a slight pulse.
"Whoahhhh!" Rainbow Dash immediately looked away. "Is that what I friggin' think it is?"
"Fear not, buffalo. It is long detached from its host. It cannot kill."
"Kill?" Rainbow blinked. She turned and looked hesitantly at the gross object. "I thought the basilisk petrified buffalo."
"With one eye, yes. But with two eyes?" The leader shook his head. "The Slithering was always meant to kill, buffalo. And yet, buffalo, when it stalked me and my buffalo mother, I realized that it was only keeping one eye open."
"Like... it wanted only to petrify in the first place?"
"Very strange, but still vile. It had stupidly blind-sided itself, and I came at it from its right side and ripped this out." He held the sloshing jar up. The eye spun to exchange glances at both the buffalo and the pegasus, as if very much alive. "Now, whenever the Slithering comes close, it glows with an eerie green light, as if desperate to rejoin its master."
"Hmmmm..." Rainbow Dash leaned forward. "So what you're telling me is that the closer this thing is to the basilisk, the more it'll light up?"
"Yes, buffalo." He adjusted his shades, raising an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"
"Look, it's simple," Rainbow Dash said. She spun around, stealthily popped a pill down her throat, swallowed, and continued. "I've gotta root out this freak if you dudes want to be free of his bullcrap once and for all."
"I still think this is a very dangerous idea, buffalo," He Who Bags Well said as he stood behind Rainbow at the bottom of the tall, vertical corridor. "Who's to know what will happen if you bring the eye close enough for the Slithering to repossess it."
"Well, good thing I'm too awesome to let something like that happen!" Rainbow said with a devilish smirk. "And besides, I'm the only girl with wings around here to even get close to where the Slithering bunks for the night!" She lightly nudged the handle of the glass jar that contained the drowned eye. "Thankfully, this baby's gonna help me find my way to where I need to go!"
"And what do you intend to do when you get there?"
Rainbow shrugged. "Kick things. Talk to things. Whichever opportunity presents itself."
"Buffalo..."
"Pony! P.O.N.Y!" Rainbow Dash folded her arms and frowned. "Seriously, if you can't get that straight, then I might as well sell the pies to diamond dogs!"
"Get rid of this Slithering, and you can sell us all the hubcaps you like."
"We'll see about that." Rainbow Dash took a deep breath, grasped the jarred eye in one hoof, and gave a salute. "See you in the funny papers!" And she flew straight up. "Zoop!"