Living The Dream

by Kickass222urmom

Returning home

I turned around to face Mr. Bleak and Starch, "So, why would you hurt this sweet and awesome Phoenix?"

Mr. Bleak huffed, "It attacked me!" He pointed to a burn on his chest, "See!"

Starch shrugged, "To be truthful, the Phoenix didn't want to attack, Val just forced it too."

I nodded and looked at Mr. Bleak, "Did you really have to break its wing?"

He sighed, "No.... I didn't have too...."

I took a few steps forward, the Phoenix still cradled in my arms, "Mr. Bleak, say sorry."

He gawked, "But I..."

I lowered my voice and said in a forceful voice, "Say sorry!"

He sighed, "I'm sorry little Phoenix."

The Phoenix looked up and smiled.

I chuckled, "I guess you're forgiven."

"HALT!" Said a low, authority like voice.

I looked to my left to see several Royal Guard's walking towards us, swords drawn.

[Well shit...]
<What? They know us.>
[Yeah, the pony version! They don't know the human version!]
<Oh shit...>

The Royal Guard's stopped a few yards from us, looking at us wearily, "Where is the Prince and his friend?!"

Mr. Bleak furrowed his brow, "You're not the Royal Guard."

The lead pony sighed, "No, we are not. We're the Equestrian Army."

I cocked my head, "But, I thought they were for foreign affairs only?"

The pony nodded, "This place is out of Equestria jurisdiction."

I shrugged, "Seems legit."

The pony then frowned, "Now, where is the Prince and his friend?"

I smiled, "Well, I'm his friend, and he's right behind you."

The pony turned to see Frederic and the others walking towards us.

The pony growled, "That's not the... Princess Luna!" He and the other soldier's instantly bowed down to her.

Luna sighed, "Arise, you do not have to bow to me out here."

Frederic nodded, "Same goes for me."

The soldiers stood up, all confused by why the Prince was a human.

Frederic looked at the lead pony, "What is your name soldier?"

The pony gulped and saluted, "Sargent Dune, your highness!" (Yes, he got promoted, twice.)

Frederic nodded, "I would like to thank you and your stallion's for coming here. But, we've already got it under control."

Luna looked around, "Sargent, I would like you to gather your stallion's and secure this town. I want this place to be under Royal watch for a while."

Sargent Dune saluted her, "Yes ma'am!"

Mr. Bleak pointed into the house, "And here's the leader of them, I think he should be brought back to Canterlot."

I nodded, "And the pony in the basement, I want him to be punished!"

Frederic laughed, "I will make certain of that one Lance.... what's that in your arms?"

I looked down at the Phoenix, which was looking up at me, a smile on its face, "Oh, it's a Phoenix... and the bad news is, Mr. Bleak broke its wing!"

Mr. Bleak chuckled, "I had too."

I sighed, "No, you didn't have to, you just wanted to."

He rolled his eyes and turned, "What ever you say Lance, I'm going to take my brother back to Canterlot, I don't trust anypony else to do it."

I furrowed my brow, "Brother? Who's your brother?"

He pointed to the stallion, "He is." He then picked up his unconscious brother and threw him over his back.

Wait... WHAT?! "He's your brother?!"

Mr. Bleak nodded solemnly, "Yes... Lance, I'll explain everything to you at a later date. But right now, I need time to think." He then jumped into the air and began to fly away. His grandson soon followed, leaving us all behind.

[My mind is so full of fuck right now...]

I sighed and turned back to everypony else. The soldier's had moved on and were following Frederic's and Luna's orders. Twilight was talking to Luna, and Frederic... Frederic was air drumming.... funny shit right there.

I chuckled and looked down at the Phoenix, which was now putting its head in my jacket.

<CUTE!>

I smiled, "So, what should we name you?"

It pulled its head out and looked up at me.

[Is it a boy, or a girl?]
<Hmmm, judging from the show, the females have those two things on their heads. But the males have nothing. This is clearly a female.>
[Aww... I wanted a boy.]
<GAY!>
[NO! A boy Phoenix would be badass!]

I thought for a second, "Kara?" (This is how you pronounch the name. Just click the aduo button to hear it.)

It tapped its beak with its good wing and nodded.

I smiled, "You like that name?"

It nodded again and smiled.

I chuckled, "Welcome to the family Kara."

Kara smiled and rubbed her head up against my chest.

{SO DAMN CUTE!}
[I agree!]
<Best pet ever!>

I chuckled and walked over to my friends, "So... what are going to do?"

Twilight looked at me, "Well, for starters: I should get back to the house. I don't think leaving Fawn and Spark with your mother was a good idea."

I couldn't help but laugh, "Bad move Twi. I'm going to go to Fluttershy's, I want to get Kara's wing fixed."

Twilight cocked her head, "Kara?"

I chuckled, "The Phoenix Twi. I named the Phoenix Kara."

Twilight chuckled, "Oh." She walked over and jumped up, putting her forelegs on my waist. She then peered down at Kara, "Hey there little guy..."

"Girl."

"Oh..."

I chuckled and used my left hand to mess up Twilight's mane, "I didn't know either till Dawn told me."

She sighed, "I wish I could hear them all the time. I just wonder what they say about me when we're together."

[Hey baby! How about we go and fuck up a bed!]
<YEAH! Look at that ass! I so want to ride her!>
[Let us see your gorgeous pussy! Let us have a peek!]
<I want to fuck you all night long!>
[YEAH! Take it in the ass bitch!]
{Don't call her a bitch.}
[Lance, you just ruined the mood.]

Twilight jumped back, "Lance! Is that what is always going through your head?!"

My eyes widened, "You heard that!"

She glared and nodded, "I did... Lance, we're going to have a serious talk."

I hung my head, "No sexy time for me, huh?"

She nodded, "Exactly, no more bed time fun for you for a long, LONG time."

I aww'd, but then, "WAIT! How did you hear them?!"

Luna chuckled weakly, "I just did what she wanted... I didn't know this would happen."

I looked at her and glared, "If I wasn't holding Kara, you would so be dead!"

She rolled her eyes and turned, "Come Frederic, we must check over the situation."

Frederic turned to follow, "Coming my love."

[Damn! She's got him on a leash!]
<Pussy whipped!>
[Good thing Twilight doesn't have us on a leash! Remember when she told us to take the Princess that dress, and Lance used it to make a tent? That was fucking funny!]

Twilight stomped her hoof, "You did what?!"

My eyes widened again, "Huh... fuck me."

Twilight glared, "Lance, when we get back, I'm going to take you to our room, tie you to the bed, and we're going to have a long, long talk!"

{Fuck you Break! You just screwed us!}
[I regret nothing!]

Twilight glared, "Lance, come here."

I shook my head, "Nah, I'm good."

She gritted her teeth, "Lance! Come here!"

I smiled awkwardly, "I think I'll stay right here."

She growled, "Damn it Lance! COME HERE!" Her mane and tail suddenly caught fire and her coat turned a faint white, and her eyes turned a pure red. Oh shit, shes pisses!

[Your Twilight just evolved!]
<Shut up! Lance, move your ass!>

I gave her a small wave, "I see your rage, so, I'll use this card." I pulled a random card out of my jacket. It read, 'Get the fuck out of town!'. I chuckled and sprinted past my pissed off wife.

"LANCE! GET BACK HERE!" She screamed as she gave chase.

I ran as fast as I could, holding Kara close, so I don't drop her, "No can do Twi! I don't plan on getting lectured!"

She screamed in pure rage and continued to get closer and closer to me.

Up ahead, I could see Frederic and Luna still walking, thank you God! "Luna! Teleport me! Hurry!"

She turned to see me sprinting away from a very pissed off Twilight, "Oh my!"

Frederic laughed, "Oh dude! You're screwed!"

I ran past them, "Hurry!"

I began to run circles around them, Twilight still trying to catch me.

<Dayum! She is over the top pissed off!>
[What did we even do?!]

Luna laughed once more before her horn began to glow.

"You know where to send me!" I yelled out seconds before I was engulfed in a bright light.

I suddenly stopped and looked around. The forest? Oh thank you Luna!

[Remind me to thank Luna next time we see her.]

I chuckled and looked around, "Now... where is the cottage?"

[Beats the fuck out of me.]
<*Sigh* Go left.>

I looked left and saw the path leading up to her house, "Oh, awesome."

I shifted Kara's weight a little and began walking for the cottage.

"Is it safe?" Fluttershy asked Alexander as he crouched down, waiting for her to get on his back.

He chuckled, "One hundred percent. Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

She gulped and slowly climbed onto his back.

Alexander cracked his neck to the side, "Ready?"

She squeaked, "Yes..."

Alexander smiled and pointed his hoof to the opposite wall of the living room, he fired and a small portal appeared. He then pointed to the ground in front of himself and fired.

He smirked and jumped into it, instantly coming out on the other side. Fluttershy aww'd, causing Alexander to smile. He then began to shot random portal's, jumping through each one.

He continued this till there was a knock at the door. He stopped suddenly, hanging halfway through a portal, "Who's that?"

Fluttershy shrugged, "I don't know..."

Alexander pulled out of the portal and closed it. He then let Fluttershy off her back, and she made her way to the door.

Alexander held back, not really caring who it was, but he did listen to the conversation.

"EEP!" Fluttershy jumped back from the door.

"Fluttershy! It's me, Lance." Said a voice outside the door.

Fluttershy stood, "Lance?"

He heard the pony chuckle, "Yes, I'm only in my normal form."

Normal form? What's that suppose to mean?

Fluttershy smiled slightly, "What brings you to me house?"

"Well, I have a new pet Phoenix, Kara, and her wing is broke. Could you fix it for us?"

Fluttershy gasped and jumped forward and grabbed something, "Oh! You poor dear! I'll get that wing all fixed up for you." She then began to fly for the kitchen, the Phoenix had its wings out stretched towards the door, a sad look on its face.

"Don't worry Kara, I'm not leaving you."

Who is this pony?

Alexander walked to the door to see a... holy shit! A human... a very familiar human.

The guy, who's name appears to be Lance, looked down and smiled, "Well hey there, who are you?"

Alexander's mouth hung open, "Lance?! Lance Greenfield?!"

Lance raised an eyebrow, "Do I know you?"

Alexander nodded furiously, "YES! I'm Alexander! Remember, 11th grade!"

Lance's eyes widened, "Whoa! Alexander, I didn't know you were a brony."

Alexander chuckled nervously, "Closest brony... kinda wish I hadn't been one though."

Lance laughed and looked inside, "So, you with Fluttershy?"

Alexander shook his head, "No... but you have to talk to Seth about a contest."

Lance sighed, "Well damn, I guess I'll go talk to him tomorrow."

"Oh, you're a brave girl, yes you are." Fluttershy said as she came towards the door, Kara in her forelegs.

-------------------------------------------------

I chuckled, "You fix the wing?"

Fluttershy nodded and sat Kara down. Kara smiled and held out her bandaged wing.

"Just no flying, okay?" Fluttershy said to Kara.

Kara looked up and nodded.

I smiled and kneeled down, "Come here Kara."

She squawked in joy and half flew, half walked to me. She dived into my arms and snuggled up to me again. Yep, I love this Phoenix.... in the way a man loves his best friend, and his best friend being his dog.

I stood up and chuckled, "Thanks Fluttershy."

She smiled, "It was nothing really, I just bandaged her wing."

I smiled warmly, "And I thank you for that." I then looked at Alexander, "I'll see you around, good luck."

As I walked away, I heard Fluttershy ask, "What did he mean good luck?"

Alexander chuckled, "Oh, its nothing."

I smiled and continued down the road, Kara sleeping peacefully in my arms.

I finally stepped up to Dali's house, sweat pouring down my face. I'm so glad they have a train, but why did it have to break down five miles from the city! Damn, I'm unlucky!

I opened the door to see Spark and Fawn playing with a few blocks and toys. They turned to the door, and both looked instantly scared. Fawn stood and began to back away.

I smiled, "It's me, guys. You know, dad."

They both looked at each other and smile. They then ran towards me yelling 'daddy'.

They both hugged my legs, one on each. I chuckled and bent down, "Look what I have."

Kara looked over at them and then hide herself in my jacket.

Fawn smiled, "A Phoenix!"

Spark, to my surprise, said, "It's so cute."

<Wait... Spark can talk now?!>
[How much did we miss in our week away?]

I smiled, "Her name is Kara."

Spark reached out and began to pet her side gently, "Is she our pet now?"

I chuckled, "Well, you could call her that. But I'm starting to see her more as a companion." I still get over Spark being able to talk! He can actually form full sentences... I feel like Twilight has something to do with this.

[Or Greg...]
{He better not have!}

Fawn smiled and began to pet Kara, "Is she okay dad? Her wing is bandaged."

I nodded, "She'll be fine, her wing is just broke."

Spark's mouth dropped, "Broken!"

I chuckled, "Don't worry buddy, she'll be fine. I promise."

Spark smiled and continued to pet her.

After a few minutes, I smiled, "So, what do you think of your dad now?"

Fawn looked me over and smiled, "I think you look weird."

I chuckled and looked at Spark.

He smiled, "You look awesome dad."

Damn, I'm loving those kids more and more!

I held out a arm, "Come here you two! Give your old man a hug!"

[Old man? We're only eighteen!]

Fawn and Spark jumped into me, and I pulled them close.

"Where's mom?" Spark asked.

Oh shit... "Well, mommy is gonna be kinda mad at daddy... So he'll be sleeping on the couch probably."

They laughed and Fawn said, "We'll sleep with you daddy, won't we Spark?"

Spark nodded, "Yep! We won't let you be alone."

And there goes my heart! SO MUCH D'AWWWWW!

I pulled them closer, "I love you guys."

"We love you too dad." Fawn said happily.

"Oh and dad! Grandma wants to tell you something important."

I sighed, this is not good.

"She's in the kitchen." Fawn said.

I stood, I do not like this. "Wish me luck." I then began walking towards the kitchen.