Becoming Twilight - Chapter 10 by RandomGreymane (Mike Hebel)
“I still don’t understand it. “ said Twilight the corners of her mouth drooping as she frowned “Everything went off without a hitch.”
“Twilight.” said Spike calmly.
“I mean not one thing went wrong. We had all the plans set in motion and not one mistake.” Twilight continued.
“Twilight.” Spike repeated a little louder.
“Not. One. Thing.” Twilight continued not hearing him.
“Twilight!” Spike said sharply.
Her head snapping up she faced Spike in surprise.
“The book’s gone.” Spike said simply.
“Gone?” Twilight echoed.
“Gone.” Spike repeated “It was gone the day you left.”
“Well...where did it go? Did you see where it went?” Twilight asked her left hoof pressed against her temple where a throbbing had slowly been building.
“One moment it was there the next it was gone.” Spike said shrugging then ticking points off on his claws “And before you ask it was after hours so no one was in the library at the time, all the windows and doors were shut, I’d just finished re-shelving, there were no signs of magick, the stars didn’t spell out any evil incantations, and the protective charms you placed on the library showed no signs of having been set off.” Spike stared at the claws on his hands while trying to catch his breath. I hope that’s enough information. he thought.
“Well I can’t really argue with that much data Spike.” Twilight said smiling. “I wish I’d known what that was all about though.” Twilight continued with a sigh.
“So do I Twilight but weren’t you the one who said there are some things we’ll never understand and just have to accept?” Spike asked.
“You are exactly right Spike.” Twilight said straightening up “Time to move on. To BREAKFAST!” Besides thought Twilight to herself I’ll dig more into it after Spike goes to bed tonight.
“Now THAT is a mystery I’m willing to dig into!” said Spike happily rubbing his belly.
It was early enough in the morning that the library was not open yet and as Spike had finished all the prep-work they were able to go to the café without issue.
With an effort Twilight forced herself to focus on things other than the book and somewhere in relating the events of her trip to Spike she did indeed put it out of her mind.
Throughout the next week Twilight put her nose to the grindstone and got back into the swing of things. She resumed training with Scootaloo although in truth her flying had become considerably better in recent weeks. She remembered what Rainbow Dash said though and trained every morning without complaint whether she felt she needed it or not.
The days trotted past until the end of the month found Twilight horn deep in paperwork in her council office.
I’ll never get all this done!
Twilight thought I wonder if I can dump some of this on Spike...
Shaking her head quickly to brush off the inconsiderate idea Twilight backed up from her desk to take a fresh look at the situation. Reaching out with her magick she started to re-sort all the papers into categories. As she did so she noticed something odd.
Huh. This report says I was in Manehatten earlier this year. I’ve never been to Manehatten until that trip we took with Rarity. And here’s another note saying I was in...Trottingham? I’ve never BEEN to Trottingham in my life! What the Tartarus is going on here?
Carefully separating out the offending documents Twilight combed the rest of the stack for similar incidents and found two others and a possible third.
Well this is mighty odd. I’ll bet this has something to do with that Celestia-damned book.
Sighing Twilight quickly picked up a quill and paper and made copies of the records. Afterwards she filed the originals in a small locked compartment in her desk. She hadn’t wanted such a compartment but Pinkie Pie said she needed it in case the zombie goats attacked and she wanted to keep her papers safe. Rarity at the time agreed that such a compartment was only prudent. Later that particular evening she worked with Applejack and created a small storage space in one of the desk legs that looked like a root but would open at Twilight’s command.
Looks like they were right after all. Twilight thought as she sent the command to close the compartment.
Folding the copies and putting them carefully under the front edge of her saddlebags as she put them on Twilight headed down the steps from her office.
I don’t see any immediate danger so I’ll ask Luna tonight after I’m asleep.
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That evening Twilight was asleep almost as fast as her head hit the pillow.
As she started to dream she followed the instructions Luna had given her to direct her dreaming so she could locate her sister in the dreamworld.
She opened her eyes and was standing on a glowing star in the shape of her cutie mark. As she looked up a glowing line appeared in front of her leading off into the distance.
As she stepped out onto the line she heard a voice echo from the darkness. “Hooves dear? Really?”
She couldn’t pinpoint the location but she knew Luna was speaking. Taking the direction Twilight opened her wings and started flying above the line following it’s path.
“Oh come now. Wings are good but we can do better!” Luna said again from the darkness “Imagination Twilight! You have it in spades! Use it!”
As Luna finished speaking the line below Twilight started to sag in the middle till she could not see the bottom. As it did so the other end came into view. In a few moments the end of the line came into contact where she was standing and she could take a single hop and was standing in front of a shimmering sphere.
“Luna...?” asked Twilight examining the bubble “I need to talk to you if you don’t mind.”
“And my dear sister I need your help as well.” Luna said from inside the sphere “Please step inside. But be careful. Things in here are not entirely...stable.”
Twilight squared off her shoulders then slowly poked a hoof at the surface of the sphere. The surface grabbed her hoof and immediately pulled her inside.
Twilight squinted as she emerged from the sphere wall. In front of her was a massive battlefield. A large amount of ponies were assaulting a castle held by what appeared to be one lone pony which Twilight immediately recognized.
“Inkblot...” she said quietly “...we’re in his nightmare then?”
“Look around you Twilight. What colors do the other ponies bear?” said Luna her gaze focused on the events in front of her.
Twilight had been immediately captivated by seeing Inkblot in the castle that for the first time she observed the attacking ponies. While there were a few other colors the majority of them were varying shades of purple.
And all the purple ones were alicorns.
“Oh no...” Twilight said starting to panic and back up “I caused this?! This is my fault!”
“Twilight!” said Luna turning her head to face Twilight. Her eyes were glowing with all the power that Twilight had ever seen in the eyes of Nightmare moon. “Stand still! Any movement you make has an effect upon the dream you are in!”
Twilight’s hooves immediately refused to move from their spots and she stopped cold. She hung her head and looked at them. “I caused this.” she said “I caused all this pain.”
“Yes.” said Luna gazing back out to the battle “And no.”
Her curiosity and not a little hope snapped Twilight out of her grief and panic. She looked at Luna for an explanation but kept silent.
“Inkblot has always been a greedy and good-for-very-little pony. His mind for most of his life was broken.” said Luna quietly “I do my best to look past the actions to find the pony within but for some, a very few, there is nothing but darkness to see. Their light went out somewhere along the way and there is nothing left inside that is good.”
“But...” started Twilight.
“I stand by my original words.” Luna continued unabated “Inkblot deserved what happened to him. Take no shame in those actions. But every action for every pony has a cost for us. Every. Pony. It was pure coincidence that you came to find me this night and that I would be here of all places. Still this is as good a time as any for an object lesson.”
“I...I don’t understand.” said Twilight simply.
“Look around you Twilight. Look.” said Luna waving her hoof “While in the physical realm all that was damaged was some wood and nails here...here everything is broken.”
“I didn’t know!” said Twilight as tears suddenly ran from her eyes.
“And that my dear is why I’m showing you this. Because you didn’t know. Now you do.” said Luna as she floated Twilight’s tears from her face and formed them into a star which floated out through the side of the sphere. She smiled at Twilight “Sister no matter what we do there is a cost for every action. The cost can never be avoided. But it can be reduced. And in some cases it is very close to zero. But the cost is never free.”
“I think I understand.” said Twilight “But here? How do I pay the cost?”
“By knowing it exists.” said Luna “Never forget for as long as possible. Simply that. And...every once in a while...you’ll get the chance to balance things out.”
The smile turning to sadness Luna continued “In this case the cost will have to be balanced out somewhere down the road. This dream is in fact the death throws of Inkblot. He is dying Twilight. He is dying at his own hoof and there is no pony in the world that can save him now. He’s made quite sure of that. Also by his own hoof.”
Twilight was too shocked to even respond. Her face was frozen in a visage of horror while her mind attempted to grasp the words she’d just heard.
“Twilight.” Luna said “....Twilight.” Sighing Luna materialized a small mallet above Twilight’s head and hit her with it. Hard.
“Ow!” Twilight said wincing. Trying to put a hoof to her head she found that they were still fastened firmly to the ground.
“Now that I have your attention I need you to focus.” Luna said “As I said before Inkblot has done this of his own hoof. Take that and accept it. Had he contained something other than darkness within I would have had something to work with and perhaps these events would not have occurred. But at the end the choice was his and his alone.”
“Do all...do all suicides have darkness inside?” Twilight asked.
“Do I need to hit you with yon mallet again?” Luna threatened.
“Er...no?” said Twilight.
“Good.” replied Luna “To answer your question the answer is that no, ponies who take their own lives in most cases are not full of darkness. Or in fact do they have any any darkness in them at all. Often the exact opposite is true. They are bright and shiny inside but their circumstances have failed to allow them to see that in themselves. And thus...”
Luna trailed off looking back out to the carnage. There were less and less ponies with each passing moment and the sphere was shrinking in size.
Luna sighed “In all the years that I have been in existence I have never found a complete way to prevent a pony from taking it’s own life if it truly was determined to do so. I still search for such a way to this day.”
Twilight looked around and noticed that the battle had finished and Inkblot stood simply standing at the top of a hill now. The sphere was now visibly shrinking.
As they stood there the sphere shrank until Luna and Twilight passed outside it’s walls. It continued to shrink until it compressed to a tiny ball of light so bright that Twilight could almost not bear to look at it.
The light floated up to Luna and she nuzzled it with a smile on her face. “There there little one.” she said with care in her voice “The pain has gone now. It’s time for you to move on. I have a great new life planned for you.”
Raising one hoof she waited until the light settled on it. Then with the tenderness of a mother she blew it a kiss and it went streaking off into the distance so quickly that Twilight was unable to follow it.
“And besides...” Luna continued watching the light in the far distance “...when they are freed of their burdens the light springs forth again. Be it sunlight, moonlight, or twilight it is almost impossible to truly extinguish it from the world.”
Twilight suddenly had a whole host of other questions but seeing her start to open her mouth Luna put her hoof over it.
“No. I am not what most ponies refer to as Death. Yes I can send spirits to new lives but only under certain circumstances. No I’m not going to explain any further.” Luna said grinning and eventually pulling back her hoof “Ask me again in 500 years.”
The hoof removed Twilight simply started and said “Oh! That’s right! I came here to ask you about...”
“The papers. Yes.” Luna said “Don’t look so surprised Twilight. Remember when I told you to use you imagination? Imagination tis the bricks upon which dreams are built.”
“I don’t follow.” said Twilight with a puzzled expression.
“Look on your back.” said Luna as a mirror materialized in front of Twilight.
Craning her neck a bit Twilight looked and saw that on her back was what appeared for all the world to be her saddlebags but made entirely of paper with her handwriting on it.
“You were so concerned with keeping them safe that you kept them close upon your person.” Luna said giggling a little.
With a bright flicker of her horn Luna lifted the papers and sorted them out to float in front of her. Peering intently at them she said “Twilight focus please. The writing on these is all blurry. That’s better. Hmm...”
“Well? asked Twilight still focusing on the memories of the papers.
“I see nothing here that is of any danger to you but yes you surmise correctly.” said Luna floating the papers back to Twilight and once again grinning “The journal we saw likely is related to this issue. While I know the headstrong mare in front of me will likely ignore my guidance in this matter, in all my dealings with temporal issues I’ve found it wiser to let them sort themselves out.”
“Wait? You’re telling me to just ignore it?” said Twilight.
“Not ignore it.” replied Luna “Merely be acquainted with it and not pursue it directly. In time all will be made clear.”
“You do realize you sound like a fortune teller saying that.” said Twilight now grinning herself.
“My dear I invented the fortune telling business!” said Luna portraying mock offense with her nose held high. She held the pose for a moment then both of them broke into laughter.
“Now my dear” Luna continued “I very strongly smell a new flavor of tea about you! Focus on it please as I wish to taste a cup.”
With the appearance of a teapot and cups Twilight and Luna settled down to reminisce for the rest of the evening.
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Upon waking Twilight immediately fished out the papers and put them in her dresser drawer for the time being. Luna’s responses had calmed her concerns for the moment so while she was still prudent enough to lock up the originals she was not worried about losing the copies.
As Twilight tried to go about her daily business her thoughts turned more and more to what she’d seen in the dreamscape with Luna. Finally when word of Inkblot death reached her through other means she broke down crying almost instantly.
Tears still flooding her eyes she closed her office and teleported herself to her room leaving behind a stunned group of aides and visitors. Whispers rippled through those waiting in the hallway until a calm voice broke the tension.
“I’m sorry my ponies but Twilight had to go.” Princess Celestia said walking up to the group “She received some very disturbing news.”
“Is this about Inkblot suicide?” one of the aides asked.
“Yes this is directly related to the unfortunate circumstances of that sad pony.” Celestia replied “While Princess Twilight may have been angry with that colt she certainly never wished this upon him. She is at her core a kind spirit and this has rightly upset her.” Celestia turned to the aide “Would you be so kind so as to spread the word that Twilight will be taking a leave of absence for a few days?”
“Yes your highness.” the aide said bowing then quickly making her way down the hallway.
“As for the rest of you if you could please come with me to the meeting room down the hall I shall work with you to conclude your business for today to your satisfaction.” Celestia said addressing the ponies in the hallway and directing them down the hallway with her hoof.
There that should do it. Damn you Luna! Why couldn’t you hold off on the lesson. Celestia thought to herself.
A sleepy voice in her head replied as Luna answered her Sister you know why. And the opportunity presented itself abruptly last night as you also well know. We all had to learn the lesson and better she learn it now than several hundred years down the road. I too am saddened by Twilight’s pain but it shall pass.
Will you press Twilight to go to Inkblot funeral? Celestia asked while looking over a petitioner’s request.
I doubt I will have to. Twilight feels responsible and needs some closure. There will be little enough ponies at his funeral so it shall be safe for her to attend without recrimination. Luna projected to her sister.
I unfortunately am inclined to agree with you despite my initial frustrations. Celestia sent back as she finished looking over a plan for a drainage system And you are of course right about the timing as well. It’s better that it has happened sooner rather than later. Twilight is more than strong enough to handle this and while I hate the thought of it a practical public display of sadness on her part for Inkblot will no doubt quiet most of the ponies who would take arms against her for this.
We are fortunate at least that Inkblot was not well liked. Luna replied Were it someone truly popular we would likely have a riot on our hooves. I needs must return to slumber now dear sister. Till this evening. Luna concluded sending a burst of warmth across the connection to Celestia.
Sleep well Tia. Celestia through returning the same warmth “Sleep well.” she said under her breath before the next petitioner approached her.
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To say Twilight was distraught was an understatement.
Without thinking Twilight collapsed on her bed the moment she appeared in her room. Tears streaming down her face wet the pillow to near sogginess.
How long she cried Twilight did not remember but with all the suddenness of a faucet the tears ceased completely leaving her exhausted but awake in her room.
“Twilight?” she heard Spike call from the opening to her bedroom “Are you all right?” he asked.
“No.” Twilight said simply “No....”
“Ok.” said Spike cautiously “I’ll just go and make you a hot cup of tea.”
“Okay.” replied Twilight without raising her head.
“Oh and you don’t have to worry about the library.” Spike said before disappearing down the stairs “Princess Celestia sent me a quick note telling me to close it for emergency maintenance. I managed to get everypony out before you arrived.”
Thank Celestia thought Twilight Once again I will owe her more than I can repay.
Closing her eyes Twilight finally succumbed to her weariness and fell fast asleep.
After finishing her exchange with Celestia, Luna reached out to Twilight and wove a comforting dreamless sleep for her sister before returning to sleep herself.