Pen Pals Of A Fractal Nature

by RainbowBob


Chapter 3: Darkness Afoot

“Discord, this is utterly ridiculous,” Celestia said to him.

Discord turned back to her, holding up his shield while his helmet nearly fell off his head. “I would have imagined safety would be more of a concern to you, Celestia. Seems I was mistaken.”

“It’s more of a concern when you don’t look like a dunce while doing it,” Celestia replied in her usual deadpan manner, which was reflected off of Discord like rain to an umbrella.

Discord looked out the window and pulled out his eye to englong it as a makeshift telescope. He was currently on the top floor in the highest tower in Canterlot castle, a place seldom used or used for such zanny shenanigans someone like Discord would pull. Leaning out the window slightly, he focused his sight on the lone mailbox near the castle gates.

“Is the spotlight really necessary?” Celestia asked him, the lone mailbox the only lit area of the castle in the gloom of the early morning light.

“So are this armor and shield, but you don’t see me complaining,” Discord answered, squinting to get a better view of the mailbox. Sticking his tongue of the side of his mouth slightly, he gripped his shield tighter.

“That’s because you decided to do this yourself. For whatever reason, I still don’t have a clue.”

“The mailmare,” Discord said.

Celestia arched a brow. “Yes, what about her?”

“She always seems to fall on my face.” Discord lifted up his helmet and pointed to his muzzle. “I just can’t these goods damaged on a daily business! I have a reputation to keep!”

“A reputation for what?” Celestia asked with mild amusement.

“Why, as Equestria’s handsomest bachelor,” Discord said, smoothing out his mane.

“Wow, you’ve gone even more off the deep end than usual,” Celestia joked. “Is it because Fluttershy hasn’t sent you a letter in such a long time?”

“No, it’s been four… three if you don’t count the day I spent writing her the letter,” Discord replied back nervously. He scratched the back of his neck and kicked his feet slightly on the ground. “N-not that I was counting or anything.”

“Sure you weren’t,” Celestia agreed, taking a peek over Discord’s shoulder. “Ooh, and I do believe the mail has arrived.”

“It has?” Discord called out, turning around just as Ditzy smacked right into his face.

“Hey there, Princess Celestia!” Ditzy waved to Celestia, sitting square on Discord’s face in the usual fashion.

“Pleased to meet you, Ditzy,” Celestia responded, giggling as Discord struggled to get out from the entrapment of Ditzy’s rear squishing his cheeks. “I see you have the mail?”

“Yeppers! I brought it all the way up here so you guys didn’t have to make a trip!” Ditzy hopped off Discord and opened his mouth, sticking his mail on his tongue. “Here you go!”

“How pleasant,” Discord spit out, along with the letter. While Celestia and Ditzy shared laughs, Discord rolled his eyes and opened his letter, humming under his breath as he read.

Dear the kind and sensitive Discord,

Thank you, I never thought about it like that. Chaos IS a natural part of life, isn’t it? My little critters showed me the way after a little accident. One of Angel’s… concoctions exploded on my little bear, turning his fur coat blue! Wait, no, it was cerulean (Rarity said so). I was about to leave and ask Twilight for help, but then the rest of my animals came to his rescue! Using their teeth and claws, they groomed and groomed my little cubbie until his fur was all clean! Of course, I had to brush their teeth afterwards, but I was saved a trip and my animals became even closer friends! Chaos is what brings ponies together as well as harmony! Without chaos, we can’t grow and learn! Without chaos, ponies would just keep to themselves! Without chaos… I would have never met my friends. I would have never met you.

Speaking of Twilight, she went on a strange journey the other day. For four, stressful days, she traveled through a magic mirror after somepony stole her crown in the dead of the night. She won’t tell us anything more about her journey except that Sunset Shimmer (the thief), was “in good hands” and on her way to reformation. I’m certainly glad that Twilight is okay, but I can’t help but wonder: What’s a hand? Oh, and about that bird bath. Between you and me, we pegasi in Ponyville had been trying to write up a petition for a large birdbath to be built on top of the clocktower. We hate to admit it, but it isn’t really for the birds. As long as nopony saw us during scheduled storms, we planned to have our own baths above the cloud layer.

No matter, everytime I see Twilight wear her crown (Rarely now, thank goodness. Even I think it looks tack—um, uncomfortable on Twilight’s humble head) I think of you prancing around as a princess. Princess Discord eating dinner with the meanie nobies, Princess Discord saving Equestria from the latest threat, Princess Discord waving his/her tail at Cadence and singing about ladybugs. Quite the amusing thought, I’d say. Rainbow Dash asked me several times if I was feeling well, considering that I had randomly burst into laughter whenever I was alone. You constant comments about butts has rubbed off on me, I admit. Just the other day I accidentally called Applejack ‘Applebutt’ and had to apologize profusely. Nopony expected it, and I cowered like I always do. She didn’t mind, of course, but that was so embarrassing!

And maybe you wouldn’t be so obsessed with those names if you stopped staring at them every once in awhile, you cheeky little draconequus. Don’t think I don’t notice… Chaosbutt.

Oh, and I must ask, I’d really appreciate a visit sometime. The cottage is getting lonely as of late with the critters preparing for war. I have no idea what the treaty meant, but the treaty’s dissolvement somehow convinced a few timberwolves to join the cause. Usually they scare the living feathers out of me, but these ones seem kind and friendly. Oh, and they have strange magic as well. Be prepared Discord, if you dare engage these poor critters. I shall wave my handkerchief (like a pretty princess!) and cheer for you, but be prepared. Angel… is not a bunny you want to cross.

With love,

Your friend Fluttershy.

PS: I don’t know why, but Rainbow Dash laughed when I told her your claim. Something about high-intensity sports versus girly pastimes. It was rather rude and I scolded her, but I couldn’t help but feel as if I’m missing something.

PSS: Oh, and I baked cookies and sent you some. I hope you enjoy them, they’re what mother used to make me when I was a filly.

Discord scanned the last part several times. “Wait, cookies? I don’t see any—”

“Oh, I nearly forgot!” Ditzy said, digging into her saddlebag and withdrawing a heaping plate of fresh cookies from within. “Cookies were included in the mail as well.”

Discord quickly snatched one of the chocolatey treats with his tail, munching on it as he cracked his knuckles. “Mmmm, I have to visit more often,” Discord reflected, smacking his lips as his snake-like tongue slid all along his mouth and lips. Snapping his fingers, a new sheet of paper appeared out of existence along with an inkwell. Dipping his lion’s claw into the ink, Discord set out writing his reply letter.

“You know, it really isn’t any trouble for you to visit Ponyville whenever you want,” Celestia said.

“Oh, I know,” Discord replied, dipping his claw once more into the ink as a devious smile split open his lips. “But sometimes trouble is all the excuse you need for a visit.”


“Hand me that egg beater, if you don’t mind,” Fluttershy sang as she reached out. Ditzy, with practiced precision required with her special, special eyes, deftly decked her in the forehead.

Ditzy blinked before scrunching her muzzle. “I-I’m sorry, Fluttershy! I didn’t mean to hit you—”

“Ditzy,” Fluttershy interrupted, “It’s fine. See?” She turned her head and ran her hoof through her mane, revealing a fading red mark. No obvious damage, apparently. Ditzy’s breathing slowed as Fluttershy beamed, happy to see the mailmare despite any and all cranial injury.

Sniffing, Ditzy reached into her mailbag and retrieved a letter. Her foreleg shaking in exaggerated somber, she gifted Fluttershy with the week’s delivery. “I-I’m sorry.”

“Ditzy, it’s oka—”

“I’M SORRY!” Ditzy shrieked, thrusting her wings out and jolting outside.

Fluttershy shrugged, opening the letter as she stepped away from her workspace. She had time to read at the very least. A few of her critters scurried about, obviously absorbed in their latest, devious activities. Something that Fluttershy neither cared nor worried about.

Moving her lips to silently read, Fluttershy scoured through the letter.

Dear the immaculate and valiant Fluttershy,

Glad to see you’ve come to see the brighter side of things about chaos. At least that saved me the trouble of making a documentary about it. Ugh, using diagrams and pie charts is really not my style. Unless those pie charts are blueberry. Ooh, and maybe poisonberry too… although I do hope it’s name isn’t literal.

Anyway, back to more pressing matters. Those matters being butts, of course. I am also glad to see you accepting my viewpoint on life and noticing with earnest interest the phenomenon known as butts. While I could go to great lengths on this subject, unfortunately my hand is tied to that pesky e-rating this letter is forced to bear. But just remember… butts.

Oh, and I just wanted to mention, I think a visit to Ponyville would be a marvelous idea. Say hello to some old acquaintances, go sightseeing, battle against Angel and his band of furred beasts, and maybe enjoy a cup of tea with you. But alas, it seems I have some business to attend to. Oh, but don’t worry your sweet little head, Fluttershy. Once I’m done with this pesky little errand, I can guarantee we’ll be seeing one another real soon.

Forever yours,

Discord

PS: Those cookies were simply marvelous. Try to remember any cupcake recipes your mom made as well if you have the chance.

Fluttershy hummed as she finished the letter, returning to her kitchen to bake a new batch of cookies. Giggling every now and then like a schoolfilly, thinking about his jokes, she whipped the dough in the bowl. A few chips there, some hay there, and only a touch of poison joke for the draconequus’s taste. A marvelous addition Fluttershy had found.

She opened an eye and peeked to the side as she battered the butter, eyeing a few gathering critters. Angel, now donning a customized coconut shell helmet and acorn shoulder guards, began instructing the woodland critters. From what she could understand, they were going over battle plans. Oh Angel, you have no idea what you’re up against, Fluttershy thought with a roll of her eyes. Then again, neither do you, Discord.

Carefully, she cut the dough into proper-sized rolls and placed them on the baking sheet. The oven was currently heating up, leaving her an extra five minutes to rest. With nothing better to do, Fluttershy began to search for a quill.

She passed by her bear, currently sharpening bamboo sticks for some particular reason. A single bat flew about, carrying nuts with… something protruding from within. Even a few chipmunks had modified toothpaste tubes, armed with nuts and pebbles. All that Fluttershy turned a blind eye to, her thoughts consumed by her friend.

Once she made it to her bed, she flopped down and reached for her quill and some parchment. Wrapping her tail around her haunches out of habit, she began to think of a response. Strangely enough, her mind drifted to Twilight’s lecture on cutie marks and breeding behaviors; a conversation they swore to never have again. Discord wouldn’t care, would he?

She shook her head, dispelling all negative thoughts. Rarity had told her over and over again that she was a strong, beautiful mare. Even if she didn’t believe her, Fluttershy was going to try for an air of confidence. Nodding in determination, Fluttershy bit her quill and lowered it to the parchment and began to write.

Dear Discord,

I think it would be lo~

Fluttershy’s quill jerked as a tremor rocked through her cottage. Panicked animals squeaks echoed throughout her home as she shot up from bed and into the air. Fluttering to her front door, Fluttershy took a peek outside.

Nothing.

Sighing in relief, Fluttershy shut the door and sat down. The train trip earlier that day had exhausted her, and nature’s disasters were the last thing she wanted. “Oh Fluttershy,” she said, blowing a lock of hair out of her eyes, “what did you expect? The Everfree Forest?”

Even she couldn’t help but shudder at the thought.


Dear Discord,

It was nice seeing you again.

Fluttershy