A loud crashing noise woke me from my slumber, causing me to mentally curse this town and the occasional uninvited pegasus wanting to borrow the latest copy of the Daring Do adventure series. I heard a muffled "Ooof!" as the intruder got to her hooves, the voice unmistakably that of Rainbow Dash. I rose to my hooves and trotted down to the main level to find one of the shelves completely emptied by her impromptu entrance.
"Rainbow Dash, couldn't you just use the door like normal ponies do?" asked a flabbergasted Twilight. The cyan pegasus grinned sheepishly and dusted herself off.
"Sorry, Twi -- it's just that the newest edition in the Daring Do saga comes out today, and I want to be the first one to get it! I've heard this one is the best and most awesome one yet!" she exclaimed excitedly, flapping her wings and hovering above the floor.
"You could have knocked on the front door, y'know -- I was sleeping quite soundly -- what time is it?" I grumbled as I trudged into the room.
"Time for you to get ready to take Rarity on your promised shopping excursion, Michael!" the librarian grinned.
"Where are you taking Rares, Mike? Shopping? Good luck!" the pegasus chuckled.
"Did somepony mention Rarity?" asked a certain little drake, his head peering from around a corner.
"That reminds me, Spike, you should accompany Michael on his excursion with Rarity -- they're going shopping in Canterlot's Market District today," Twilight chortled. "Michael, I suggest you freshen up for this trip -- Rarity might not take to kindly to your present appearance."
"That sounds like a good idea, Twilight," I said as I trotted back upstairs to use the bathroom. I turned on the shower and lathered myself up while the two mares downstairs chatted over breakfast.
"How's he doing, Twi?" asked the aviatrix as she absentmindedly nibbled on a hay pancake.
"He's holding up rather well, Dash. He seems rather smitten with me ... and with Rarity as well," the librarian replied, flashing a slightly worried look.
"Isn't he married to that zebra?" Rainbow asked in surprise.
"Yes, but -- Princess Celestia took her to the Castle and told him he couldn't see her for awhile."
"I hear he's every bit the egghead as you," the pegasus chortled, causing the unicorn to glare at her.
"Yes, he is rather intelligent -- but he's also 49 years old! I don't want to marry somepony who's THAT old! Especially when he's already married!"
"Yeah, I hear ya, Twi. You got the latest copy of Daring Do?"
"Rainbow! It's not going to be here until next week!"
"Ugh! I can't stand waiting that long! Seeya later, Twi." She then turned around and flew back out the window she had entered, causing the librarian to shout after her to use the door next time she visited.
I rinsed off and turned off the water, getting out of the tub and then toweled off. I brushed my teeth and rinsed out the toothbrush as best I could, then brushed out my mane and tail.
"Michael, please hurry, you don't want to keep Rarity waiting!" Twilight called up from downstairs. I was just about finished anyway and trotted down the steps to see the librarian grinning, a set of saddlebags in her magenta aura which she levitated onto my back.
"Okay, Twi, seeya later," I offered warmly as her dragon assistant scampered onto my back.
"Remember what I told you earlier, Michael. Spike, keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't get greedy," the librarian cautioned, a slightly worried expression on her face. I narrowed my eyes at her, my annoyance at her distrust making itself evident.
"I'm a man of my word, Spike -- it would be nice if she would understand that," I grumbled as I trotted over to the car.
"It's gonna take awhile before she trusts you completely, Mike. Do you think taking this thing is such a good idea? What if somepony steals it?" the drake queried.
"Perhaps you're right, but this is the fastest way to Canterlot. I doubt anypony would be successful in stealing the car -- I have safeguards in place on it," I replied confidently. I set the saddlebags down in the back seat as we climbed into the vehicle and I turned it on, requesting a teleport to Carousel Boutique upon being asked for a destination. Spike complained about the discomfort caused by the car's use of the spell as we exited.
"Sorry about that, Spike, but the convenience factor outweighs the discomfort level by quite a bit," I answered. I rang the doorbell to the boutique and waited for Rarity to open the door. I was surprised to see her younger sister open it instead.
"Whoa, who are you? I've never seen you before! Oh, you have Spike with you?" she asked, a small smile on her face.
"My name's Michael, Sweetie. I'm here to take your sister to Canterlot today," I offered, smiling warmly at the white filly.
"Michael? That's a funny name for a pony," she mused, giggling softly.
"Sweetie Belle, who's there? I heard the doorbell ring," the fashionista called from upstairs. I heard her hoofsteps as she made her way downstairs to meet us.
"Some purple pony named Michael and Spike are here," the filly replied loudly. Her sister's hoofsteps quickened as she hurried to the front door, the alabaster mare smiling broadly at the sight of us.
"Ah, you're here already? We can get an early start on the shopping trip! Please, do come in! Have you had breakfast yet? Michael, where is that jacket I made for you yesterday? I thought you'd be wearing it for our little excursion."
"I woke up late this morning, Rarity -- the jacket's still at the Library, but if you want me to, I can fetch it," I offered, lighting my horn and teleporting it to the boutique. The fashionista opened her mouth in surprise at my little magic display as I opened the box and levitated the jacket, admiring its beauty before putting it on.
"Wow! You look good in that!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, a big smile on her face. "You made that for him, sis?"
"To be honest, Sweetie, he was a perfect gentlecolt yesterday -- I felt he deserved something nice to wear around Canterlot, since he promised to take me there," she replied softly, smiling in admiration. "Michael, Spike, please come in -- I'll need to freshen up a little. Sweetie, can you make breakfast for them while I prepare?"
"Sure thing, sis! Hey, Michael, you like hay pancakes?"
"I had some yesterday -- Spike knows how to make them quite tasty," I replied. The little drake smiled at my compliment.
"Good, because I'm not very good at cooking. Spike, can you make breakfast? I burn everything I make," the filly explained.
"I guess so," he grumbled as he trudged into the kitchen.
"So, Michael -- you have no cutie mark? How old are you?" asked the white filly.
"Well, I was just turned into a pony the day before yesterday and I haven't had time to get one yet. As for how old I am? I'm 49 years old, Sweetie," I replied with a warm smile. She gasped in astonishment at my answer.
"Um, if you were turned into a pony, what were you before?"
"I was a human, and so was my wife. I hope to get some information on how she's doing in the Castle when we get to Canterlot."
"A hyoo-min? What's that?" she puzzled, tilting her head at an odd angle.
"It's hard to explain -- you'd probably have a hard time picturing what one looks like. Humans walk around on two legs, upright, and stand considerably taller than ponies. In my world, humans were the only species capable of communicating with each other by means of spoken and written words," I explained. The fashionista trotted downstairs at this point, wearing a frilly yellow dress that seemed to shimmer in the light. Diamonds accentuated parts of it, along with a few star sapphires at the corners of the hem. It draped elegantly over her body, enhancing her natural beauty.
"You're looking positively radiant, Miss Rarity," I offered, beaming a big smile.
"Darling, you flatter me!" she blushed coyly, turning her head away ever so slightly.
"Ugh! All this mushy stuff! I'm off to school, seeya later, big sis!"
"Come on, Sweetie, you have enough time for breakfast! Michael, is Spike making breakfast for us?"
"Your sister said she burns everything she tries to cook, so yeah, I think he is, though I also think he made breakfast earlier at the Library, as he seemed a little grumpy about having to cook it here as well."
"He's such a dear, I'll have to give him a few extra gems for his kindness. Sweetie, please join us," the mare requested.
The filly relented and joined us for a quick breakfast before she galloped off for school. Rarity and I had a brief discussion of where to start, where to have lunch, a short trip to the Castle, some more shopping, and a visit to Fancy Pants' mansion before returning to Ponyville. We finished eating and cleaned up the kitchen -- well, I assisted Spike in cleaning up the kitchen while the fashionista made some final preparations for our little excursion.
"Okay, Michael, I'm ready!" she called from the front room. I trotted with Spike on my back to see her levitating about a dozen packages of various descriptions in her magic aura.
"Seriously, Rarity? We're going shopping, not on an expedition into the Everfree. I thought the purpose of this trip was to purchase items, or are you planning on trying to sell some stuff there?"
"Michael, darling, I must always be prepared for any contingency. This is what I consider packing light," she grinned, eliciting a groan of resignation from me. Spike chuckled a little at my predicament.
"You should know by now that this is how Rarity operates, Mike," the drake offered, another chuckle escaping his mouth.
"Here's a little something for being nice enough to fix us breakfast and clean up," the mare smiled, providing him with a small pouch with a few gems in it. He smiled broadly as he opened the pouch and began munching on a ruby as we trotted out to the car.
"Michael, darling, is this the vehicle you were talking about? Why is it so ... big?"
"It's designed for humans, not ponies. I've already had the vehicle reconfigure the parameters for me in my new form. Spike, you'll have to sit in the back seat."
"Isn't there enough room in the front for all of us?" asked the little drake.
"Hmm. There might be, but it might also be a little cramped for two in the front passenger seat," I mused as I opened the front doors and hopped into the driver's seat. Spike and Rarity entered through the front passenger door and clambered up onto the seat, and as I had predicted, they sat snugly together as I closed their door.
"Spike, dear, would you be kind enough to climb into the back? I do not wish to have to brush my tail out again."
"Ugh, okay, fine, I'll get in the back. Jeez, I wanna sit up front!"
"Sorry, Spike, but this will only take a moment anyway," I stated.
"Analyzing driver data. Good morning, Michael! Analyzing passenger data. Passenger, please state your name for my records," the voice from the speakers droned in a dull monotone.
"Rarity Belle," she replied flatly.
"Good morning, Rarity! Analyzing rear passenger data," came the cheery sounding voice.
"Spike," he said loudly, though quite a bit of annoyance showed through in the tone of his voice.
"Good morning, Spike!"
"TS, please take us to a point outside Canterlot Castle, but not too far outside the Market District in that city," I requested.
"Calculating. Acquiring target destination. Preparing to teleport," came the dull monotone again before the car was enveloped in a magenta aura. Everything went brilliant white for a split-second before we vanished and materialized somewhere in Canterlot.
"TS, is there a discreet location you can park in where you'll attract little or no attention?" I asked.
"Affirmative, Michael. Determining location now," came the answer through the speakers. The car drove by itself a short distance and then parked under a tree not terribly far from one of the Castle's walls. I opened the doors and got out, beckoning Spike and Rarity to follow my lead. I placed the key fob on the driver's floor mat and closed the doors, locking the car behind me.
"Michael, darling, I need some of my things from out of this ... thing," the fashionista pleaded.
"Okay, Rarity, I'll fetch them. I need you to take as little as possible, please," I advised. I opened the trunk of the car and levitated her packages out so she could select what she needed. She took three items and put the rest back in the trunk.
"Quite a useful storage location, Michael. How much room is there?"
"Not much, Rarity -- these items you brought took most of it," I replied. My ears perked up at the sound of hoofsteps approaching, so I teleported the fob in front of me and pushed a button on it to activate the car's cloaking mode, rendering it invisible. Rarity and Spike gasped when they saw the car seemingly disappear.
"Cloaking device, rather simple magic. Can't be too careful, y'know," I chuckled. The approaching hoofsteps grew louder and more numerous, causing me to express worry until I saw who it was. I relaxed my stance a little upon seeing a contingent of Royal Guardsponies.
"May I help you, sirs?" I asked one of them.
"Who are you? Why is one of the Element Bearers with you? Have you foalknapped her?" one of the guards asked brusquely.
"I am Michael Walker, and Rarity has asked me accompany her on a shopping trip to Canterlot's Market District," I replied confidently. "Spike can vouch for me, as I have been staying with Twilight Sparkle for the past couple of nights."
"Michael Walker? Is your wife Brenda, a zebra?" another guard asked.
"Yes, sir, that is correct. Why do you ask?"
"Did she strike you?"
"Well, yes, a few times, but --"
Rarity gasped when I answered the guard's question and trotted to face me, examining me closely. She was able to see where I had been bruised. "Oh, you poor thing! I had no idea she would be that mean to you, darling! Let me help you," she offered.
"I'll be fine, Rarity, there's no need to bother with that," I said, rebuffing her attempt to comfort me.
"Michael, we just need you to accompany us to meet with Princess Celestia," yet another guard stated matter-of-factly.
"He's supposed to be accompanying me," the fashionista admonished sharply. Spike had climbed onto my back at this point and had a rather bored expression on his face.
"If you'd like, Miss Rarity, you may accompany him while we escort him to meet with the Princess. She has requested an audience with him at his earliest convenience -- it was mere coincidence we chanced to meet him here, even though her Majesty informed us of his intent to visit Canterlot today," the lead guard stated.
"Is this matter so urgent that it cannot wait until after I have done my shopping?" asked Rarity, showing some exasperation.
"Miss Rarity, you do not need to accompany him if you do not wish to do so," the guard offered.
"This should only take a short while, Rarity. Besides, I need to check up on Brenda," I noted.
"I certainly hope so -- I do not wish to delay my needs any more than necessary," the fashionista huffed as she trotted to my side.
"Follow us, please," another guard stated stiffly as the squad formed a line. We trotted behind them, through the front gate of the Castle. We trotted through corridors and up a few staircases before we arrived at the huge doors leading into the Throne Room, the line of ponies waiting to petition the Solar Princess down to just a few. The guards standing in front of the doors opened them for us as we trotted to meet the Alicorn.
"Your Majesty," I offered reverently, bowing deeply before her.
"Princess Celestia, Michael has offered to accompany me on my shopping trip today," Rarity stated in her pleasant tone.
"Michael, you may rise. Might I say you look quite dashing in that outfit -- Rarity crafted it for you, did she not?" the Alicorn queried, smiling warmly.
"Indeed she did, your Majesty. What news is there of my wife?"
"Certain changes have been made regarding her situation while she is here in my Castle, Michael. Because she attacked you, she is currently receiving an appropriate punishment for her actions."
"Your Majesty, would it be too much of me to ask to see her, perhaps to offer a small amount of comfort and reassurance?"
"I'm afraid I cannot allow that, Michael, as I'm sure you're aware. She has displeased me, and until she learns her place in my society, I will have to hold her in confinement until she is reformed."
"Confinement? I understand she struck me, but -- was it strictly necessary to hold her against her will? To -- where is she?" I asked, perhaps a little more stridently than I had expected to.
"If your desire to see her is that strong, perhaps you might want to join her in my dungeon?" the Alicorn asked, narrowing her eyes at me.
"N-no, y-your M-majesty -- I would not like to be punished in the same fashion, especially when I haven't done anything to merit such treatment," I replied, nearly prostrating myself before her, my ears flat against my head.
"Princess, please!" Rarity implored.
"Mike's been behaving himself," Spike added. The Alicorn relaxed her gaze upon me, softening her expression before addressing me again.
"I'm sorry, Michael, but I cannot allow you to see her -- just yet. I need a few more days to ensure she'll be more respectful."
I rose to my hooves. "Very well then, your Majesty, I shall respect your request. I merely ask that you show a little leniency towards her -- and if she's being held in a cage, she's not going to like that very much -- she needs to run free, she's rather claustrophobic." I saw a sly grin creep across the Alicorn's face before it disappeared a split-second later. I raised an eyebrow in response to this. "I hope you're not thinking about putting her in an even smaller cage -- she'll go insane if you do that. She's still my wife, your Majesty -- please respect that, for my sake."
"I shall take your request under advisement, Michael -- please understand that both you and her are guests in my realm and I demand obedience with my laws. Your very presence in my realm constitutes a possible risk of escape for Discord, a prospect I do not relish. I appreciate you treating me with great respect, but I also expect you to treat others with respect as well."
"I shall do my best, your Majesty -- but if I may ask a hypothetical question -- what if somepony tries to attack me?"
"You may deal with such a situation as you see fit, but if your decision to retaliate against said pony leads to their death, I will not hesitate to punish you appropriately," she responded sternly.
"I do not intend any physical harm to your ponies, your Majesty -- I would hope that if worse comes to worst, my actions would result in only temporarily incapacitating any who might attack me," I replied meekly.
"Understood, Michael. I expect you to treat Rarity with as much respect as you treat me. Rarity, please inform me if he does anything untoward."
"Princess Celestia, he was very well behaved yesterday while he worked for me in my boutique! I expect nothing less of him to be a complete gentlecolt while he is with me today! I just hope he can keep up with me," the fashionista chortled.
"He's never been on a shopping trip with Rarity before," Spike added, grinning slyly. The Alicorn widened her eyes a little at this revelation.
"I will leave you to your excursion today, Michael. You have my sympathies," she offered warmly, though a sly smile crossed her lips.
"I look forward to it, your Majesty," I stated reverenlty before saluting her, eliciting a chuckle.
"You are dismissed, Michael. Rarity, please go easy on him," Celestia intoned, stifling a giggle. Two guardsponies trotted up to us and escorted us back to the front gate of the Castle before I gave a heavy sigh of relief.
"Whew, I'm glad that's over -- I just hope Brenda's okay," I offered.
"I'm sure she's being treated well, darling -- just a slight misunderstanding, that's all," Rarity replied, smiling warmly. "Let's get going, we're burning daylight! Lots of shopping to do!" she exclaimed, trotting ahead towards the market district, forcing me to canter to catch up with her.