"Mister Writer... You don't look too good."
I have never been this painful in my life. Even the time I got hit by a car hurt less. Even the time I got electrocuted hurt less.
"What happened?"
I don't want to bore you with the details...
"You won't bore me! You're my friend and if something is troubling you, you need to tell me!"
Sigh. Earlier today my school held a charity event where we swam to raise money for a cancer foundation.
"Oh wow! That's so thoughtful. Did you take part?"
Five kilometres. I'm hurting allwhere. I can't feel my biceps. Bending my knees by even half a gradian causes immolaing pain.
"But you did it for charity, right? That should make it all better!"
Should. It's a shame it doesn't. I don't know if what I did was really that impressive. This is what annoys me - even though I think I've become a better person, I still feel insignificant. It feels like everything I do just gets glossed over. It's not that I'm doing badly - I'm doing pretty well overall. It's just that what I do is never enough to breach the barrier of "amazing." I never get any praise I wonder if I'm doing something wrong.
"You should absolutely not think like that!"
Ah, Miss Rarity. I apologize. I didn't see you arrive.
"It is quite the pleasure to make your acquaintence also, Mister Zy. I must say, after the bright words and complements from my friends, to hear moping and self-doubt like this is rather disheartening. I was told of a kind and compassionate human, one who has bounds of potential and is capable of so much, and I thought - 'Why Rarity, you should meet such a person, he would surely be quite the gentleman!' - and what do I encounter? Someone who considers himself worthless?"
I never said that. I was just disappointed how there seems to be such high standards for me, and even though I meet them, it's little to no recognition.
"Nonsense! Being who you are should be recognition enough! Pinkir tells me all about how intelligent you are, how thoughtful you are, your politeness and amiability! You shouldn't need praise from others to know you are someone special and to be proud of it!"
Harsh as your words are, you're right...
"Rarity is the most charitable pony I know! She can tell you all about how you can make yourself feel better by making others feel better! You need to be proud of yourself, and happy of what you accomplish, even if it doesn't seem like it to anypony else!"
"I know you're a nice person, Mister Writer - you need to treat yourself with the same respect!"
...I guess.
"...And then she had the gall to claim that I had gotten the order wrong! It must've been the only time I didn't enjoy doing a favour for someone else..."
I know it sounds awfully selfish, but I just can't imagine myself ever trying to bend over backwards to please someone. I do a few things with a large amount of effort, but that's mainly because I want to...
"That's why, darling! Nopony will ever praise you for building a tower made of cheese, even if you think it's the right thing to do, but if they ask you to fix the bridge, even though you hate the bridge, you'll get much more praise."
That's what I hate about society, I guess. You need to conform to their standards and what they want.
"But that's only because you crave praise in the only form you know how. You can be proud of yourself and be happy with yourself without others telling you that you've done a good job. I'm sounding selfish at this point, but you don't need the praise of others. If you know you've done a good job, you can praise yourself. That's why I do what I do - I know I do my best and so I know that whoever it is I do a project for will be happy with the end result - and because I know I've done a good job and improved the life of another, that makes me feel good inside! If you try to keep everyone happy, then everyone will be happy except you."
How philosophical.
"Well, it's only natural that if you look this good then your intellect follows suit, no?"
If only the reverse was true...
"What are you saying?"
Never mind. In any case, if I may be as rude as to ask why you would pay a visit to me?
"Well, after what Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack and Pinkie told me, you seemed like a very nice person - someone with a truly compassionate heart. Of course I would like to meet someone described as such - wouldn't you?"
I suppose.
"Of course you would! Stop being so negative about yourself! Honestly, if it weren't for the others, I would not have the patience for this."
I apologize, but I'm not the sort of person who likes to blow my own trumpet. Not anymore, anyway. I'm not quite sure where or when I changed my thinking, but nowadays I don't feel it right to justify my own actions by my own hand and eyes.
"That shouldn't matter."
I beg your pardon?
"You heard me. It doesn't matter whether you think it is right or not. From what I know through hearing of you and gleaning off you in this conversation, you are truly an incredible person. You do not need acknowledgement to be someone amazing. You just need to know for yourself when what you have done is worth doing."
...You're completely right. I think it's because I set my own standards unnecessarily high, and so I need others to tell me that it's okay if I don't reach my own standards because what I do is impressive elsewhere...
"That's exactly right! It's good to have goals, darling, but you cannot mix up your goals and expectations!"
Thank you, Rarity. Very wise words.
***
"Come on everypony, smile smile smile... Fill my world with sunshine, sunshine..."
"Hey, you're listening to my song!"
It's catchy, and it brings a smile to my face. So it does exactly what it should, right!
"Yeah! It makes me super-duper happy that you're enjoying my singing! How was your chat with Rarity?"
It wasn't so much as she made me appreciate the joys of giving, it was more she helped me to understand the importance of knowing yourself. Something I'm sure she's equally good at, and something that's undoubtably equally important in life.
"That's Rarity! She's one of the smartest yet nicest ponies I know, probably not as smart as Twilight or as nice as Fluttershy, but still a good contender!"
Quite.
"Oh hey, lift me up there so I can skip forward a few seconds, there's something I need you to hear."
"From these happy friends of miiine........... ...Yes the perfect gift for me, Is a smile, wide as a mile... To make me happy as can be... Smile, Smile, Smile..."
"Yeah that! That's one of my favourite lines because it doesn't just apply to me! It applies to everyone. Smiling makes everypony happy! So even if you think that what you do doesn't help others and isn't that gratifying, just give them a smile! It'll make both your days better!"
How surprisingly deep, Pinkie. That's quite something... Oh, one second, door.
Sorry about that, one of my hallmates wanted borrow some money and I had to scream at him to clean up the kitchen before he should even think about purchasing a drink.
"That's bad. Is it his turn to clean up?"
It's been his turn for an entire bloody week. Honestly, that cretin gets on my nerves in ways unimaginable.
"That's bad."
Honestly, he's the single source of hatred and disdain in my life.
"Well, just remember, Mister Writer - there's always a reason to smile, and smiling makes almost everything better."
'Always a reason to smile', huh? I might write that down. That's quite good.
"Yep! After all, I have an honorary degree in joyology from you, don't I?"
I thought we agreed to call it 'happyology'?
"I don't mind!"
Hm. It's getting rather late. Shouldn't you be going home, round about now?
"Yeah... It's only because you came to your computer late though..."
Because I was doing that swimming thing. I couldn't help that.
"But you're proud that you did it now, right?"
Indeed. I know that what I did was in fact impressive, and even if I don't get praised, I should know that it was worthy of it anyway. I should know that what I did has improved someone's life for the better, and even if I don't get the benefit, the act of doing good should in itself be enough reward.
"You got it! Rarity sure helped!"
Indeed. But I daresay you're the underlying factor here, Pinkie. I must thank you again. As well as laying the foundations for happiness, you introduce me to your friends, who in turn also help me...
"Take you away, to Wonderland... Show you the way, we'll ride the lights..."
"What band is this?"
Genki Rockets. They're pretty good. I think. I like them. That's good enough for me.
***
In giving someone else a smile, you're performing the greatest act of charity imaginable - you're sharing happiness. As if the act of giving isn't enough reward, the smile itself, as well as the smile you get back, only serves to compound people's joy. Do what you can - it's always more than enough in somebody's standards.