//------------------------------// // Bronze Armor: Peace // Story: Imbalanced // by Nameless Narrator //------------------------------// [Choking's Entry] Blaze can't write anything right now because the doctors say that every bone in his body took too much pounding from the magical wave which blew away the changeling army and that he should be happy to be alive since its effect on him was diminished thanks to his hybrid nature. Also, writing this in front of him squirming while wrapped in bandages is way more fun than I've imagined. He told me everything and after thinking about it I told Sharpie who warned me about telling princess Luna. Then he told her himself, scumbag. Thanks to him, Blaze is in the infirmary instead of the dungeon though so I'm not too mad. The half-mummy next to me is worried, which is his usual state. This time I can understand it though. Some of the changelings survived the wave, much like him, but not a single one survived the citizens scouring Canterlot for stragglers. All guards have orders to capture any survivors alive but a lot of them want a bit of revenge themselves so the chances are pretty slim. Heavy Hoof took it on himself to guard this room and he's been sleeping here. He's a dirtbag too. Sharp told me about his orientation when I asked about him. Well, the entire interrogation worked much like: "Hey, Sharpie. You've been to the mountain bootcamp. How does Heavy Hoof like his mares?" "With a huge pair of eggs." "Huh, is he a cannibal?" "And a carrot." "Oh." I didn't ask anything else. Blaze says this isn't supposed to be a novel. What does he know? I've read all the other entries. Also, his new armor looks pretty swanky. [End Entry] "How's it between you and Sharpie, Heavy?" I ask him and draw a card. We've been playing a lot since I like to keep him and Blaze company whenever I'm free. "Erm... what do you mean, ma'am?" "If you play innocent again I won't give you a long, rubber gift for Heart's Warming." He drops his cards along with his jaw and I fold, annoyed. He's REALLY good at this as well. A damn genius when it comes to staff combat, military strategy and evidently any card game he lays his hooves on. I want to straddle somepony like him and ride him hard but as the old saying goes - all the good ones are taken. "We are... friends, ma'am." "Blushing! That means bed friends." He doesn't refute the allegation. "I'm glad you got over that little problem," says Blaze. "Thanks, sir." "And that you landed the best catch in the guard," Blaze continues, much to my shock. "I think you two may be spending too much time together. Stereo Choking Darkness is just what the Nightguard needs, " Heavy deflects the comment with ease and unusual personal touch. "I don't know. The best catch here is still me," I remind them. "Wellll. With all the officering and paperwork you are getting a bit on the pudgier side," says Blaze and Heavy adds: "And those changelings tired you out pretty quickly." "Pfff. Gimme the right kind of practice and I'll outlast both of ya." "Sharp is a great guy but he might not be the best catch," continues Heavy and looks at Blaze. "Don't even bother. That guy can't take a compliment," I poke the pile of bandages. "Hmm?" he looks up at us. "See? Doesn't even notice." "I'm sorry, I'm just really tired and... hungry." "Oh right. I baked you something, sir," says Heavy Hoof. "You? Yourself? Personally?" I ask. "Err yes? I can cook and I bake stuff from time to time. Is there something wrong?" "WHY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?" I collapse on Blazing's bed. "What's wrong?" asks Heavy. "I think she might be having a breakdown," answers Blaze. "Damn right I am! Most of the guys I meet have hard time making a toast for breakfast and then there's this awesome looking baker, cook and Celestia-knows-what else and I can't even have a bite of him." The world is unfair. "You can have a bite of these cookies, ma'am," he opens a small box as a peace offering. The sweet scent and even better taste don't help. "Do you see that squiggly line instead of her mouth, Heavy? That means you aren't helping." I sniff and go for a one final attempt. "Aren't you even a little bit interested? Perhaps I could show you some tricks that would turn you straight." "Sorry, ma'am. It's a certain thing." "Speaking of disappointment. Does Shining Armor know I'm still alive?" asks Blaze. "Yes, he does," says a voice from the door. "Oh fiddlesticks," swears Blaze and I have to agree with him. If it was just the new prince then there would be a chance of a good outcome but it's much worse. Heavy and I stand up at attention. "Can you leave us for a second?" asks princess Cadence. "Is he in trouble?" I ask. "That depends. Give us some time, please." We leave Blaze and the princess alone but stand in silence until she comes out and smiles at both of us. "He's all yours and I'll persuade my husband not to press any charges. Or at least make sure he has other things on his mind," she grins at me and for a second I see a pervy side in her which I wouldn't expect from an alicorn. But why not? They are ponies just like we are... with obvious differences of course. "Got any tricks that would help me get this guy?" I ask her mare to mare and nudge Heavy, who still can't believe the tone I'm using for talking to royalty. Her horn glows for a second. "I'm sorry but even an alicorn of love can't help you there. And by the way, Blazing Light's armor really looks swanky. Perhaps I should try to get Shining into a corset as well," she says thoughtfully and walks away. "Did she just-?" begins Heavy. I can feel my grin getting wider and wider. "Yep. The fresh prince will be really surprised at how many new interests his wife might throw at him. She might even be more experienced than me and-" "You've been around more than a bottle in a brown bag?" asks Blaze when we come back in. "Say that again?" I ask and tap on his bandages chest hard enough for him to begin gasping in pain. "S-sorry, Chokey." "I graciously forgive you." See? I'm the best friend he could ever have.