//------------------------------//
// Chapter 9 
// Story: Behind Closed Doors 
// by OrphiusOlyandra 
//------------------------------//



 
   Mystery Mare in Palace 


Late last night disaster struck the palace. A mysterious unicorn was rushed away from Princess Luna's private chambers and taken to the private hospital within the palace reserved for foreign dignitaries and the Princesses themselves. Under careful guard at all times, no visitors have been admitted and even fewer records have been kept. What is more surprising though, is what was left unsaid. None of the guards on duty or servants claim to have seen or heard anything, and according to offical schedules, Princess Luna was meant to have a quite night's rest. When pressed on the matter, those interviewed became either hostile or nervous, before hastily departing. Mere minutes after the fifth interview, this reported was politely asked to leave the palace grounds. Their expression left little doubt that if I did not immediately comply, I would be having an intimate encounter with the dungeons.

Just what is Princess Luna hiding? 







A groan of pain escaped as I felt my head being hammered in by a shovel. I tried to raise my hooves to cradle my head, but all that did was send another stab of pain through my entire body and I flopped down uselessly. Bucking hell, what happened last night? Oh Celestia’s flank, don’t tell me I went out drinking with Vinyl again. 

Rolling over, I promptly threw up over the side of the bed and just lay there. As much as I hated sleeping on my front, I was too sore and tired to roll myself back. That one single motion made it feel like my entire body was on fire .

“Oh fuuuuuck,” I groaned as I tried to open my eyes. All that did was send the world spinning around me, and bile rose up in the back of my throat again.

“Easy, easy.” I felt a gentle hoof press me back down to the bed. Eclipse blurred into view, standing over me. “You’ve just... well... just take it easy for the moment.”

“Oh goddesses, what the fuck happened?” I croaked out as I looked at him with bleary eyes. “Don’t tell me I’m in your bed. ‘Cause if so I think I might throw up... Again.”

“No, you’re still in the palace, Luna’s apartments in fact. I’m still the only one who knows of your existence, so I was set to watch you until you woke up.” After a moment he asked, “How much do you remember?”

“You waxing, Luna, some flashy lights an- Oh shit!” I sat bolt up only to gasp in pain and drop back down. “Fuuuuuck, everything hurts. Bloody Luna. You said it wouldn’t hurt.”

“I actually said there was a good chance it would hurt a lot, if you recall. But... I must confess, your reaction was unexpected.” He looked away, and added, “I’m truly sorry I ever joked about how bad it would be.”

“Yeah, you better be,” I grumbled before a hacking cough escaped. “Water please?”

He picked up a glass to drink from. “Really, I didn’t know it would cause you so much pain.”

Like a foal, I was forced to drink as he held it for me. I gulped it down and it soothed my parched throat and I sighed happily. “Still, I think I’ll take being on Chrysalis’ bad side over that any day, thanks.”

“Well, the good news is you’re not dead or crippled. The bad news is... well, you’ve been under for a while.”

“How long is a while?” I asked.

“A week, going on your eighth day.”

“Vinyl and Octy are okay? They know where I am? Haven’t burnt down anything looking for me?” Once more I was forced down as the world spun around me from how fast my head whipped across.

“I wouldn’t know. They haven’t come to the palace looking for you. Did you tell them you planned on coming here?”

“Nope.” I frowned. “Chrysalis didn’t get to them I hope.”

“I suspect Luna or Celestia probably have them under observation, but they haven’t told me anything about your friends. You should probably ask when Luna comes in.”

“Alright...” I tried to smile at him, but even that felt weak. “So, how do I look? Hot? ”

“Taller,” he answered dryly. “I’d say you're even uglier, but well... that would imply there was something attractive about your old form.”

“You’d kick a mare while she’s down?” I pouted. “You’re a monster.”

“History’s greatest,” he replied flatly. “Once more we arrive at the point where I remind you that you’re not a mare.” He stepped away for a moment and came back with a mirror. “See for yourself.”

“Oh come on!” I yelled, ignore the soreness of my throat.

I stared at my blue mane and groaned in frustration. Of course it had to be dark blue. Of course. I had hoped to get a mane, but a blue one? Fuck my life. With a sigh, I turned my head to the side and opened my mouth, my tongue running over the long incisors I had. Far longer than what nightkin normally had, probably even longer than Chrysalis’. My horn wasn’t anything to write home around, it was long, it was elegant, it had three bends in it. It might have been longer than Luna’s, but I wasn’t certain.

I glanced over my shoulder and blinked in surprise. Oh, wow. Okay, that made the pain worth it. That totally made the pain worth it. With slow, tender movements I spread open my wings and whispered in delight. Dragonfly wings. I had bucking dragonfly wings.  Bloody fuck yeah! Talk about beyond awesome. Totally awesome. There was awesome and then there was this. You could not get cooler than this.

Wait.

“You said I was taller?” I turned to Eclipse, a huge grin spread my face. “How much taller? Also, I’m hot. Totally hot.This? This is a twelve out of ten. Like, fuck yeah!”

He took the mirror. “I think you might be as tall as I am now, give or take a few inches. It was hard to tell when you weren’t standing.”

I eyed him up and down. “Hm... That’s kinda really tall. Awesome.”

“How about your magic?” He sat down across from me. “Does your mind seem... clearer? I’m not sure how it should feel, but can you still sense the hive?”

“I...” I frowned and searched my mind for that normal buzz. There was something there, a sense of taste and emotions, but the usual chatter? The constant aimless voices that were always there? Gone. “This... is creepy. Is this how it always is for you? This silence? The constant emotions is nice, but...” A shudder ran down my spine.

But it was nothing like what the others said it would be like, the ones who had been punished by Chrysalis and isolated from everyone. They spoke of it in hushed whispers, with fear and there were even stories of changelings going insane or dying. But I felt... odd. There was something off about the entire thing, but I couldn’t place my hoof on it.

“I imagine it would be,” he answered. “So you’re free?”

“Y-Yeah.” I swallowed and licked my dry lips. “I don’t know if I like it though. It just feels... dead... ”

“I’m sure you’ll get used to it,” he reassured. “Test out your magic a little, see how it’s been affected. Don’t try anything that might strain you. You don’t want to risk overuse with how weak you are.”

“Um...” I glanced off to the side. “I should probably feed as well...”

“Alright, we won’t try magic until you feel up to it. Um... what emotion would you like to feed on? I’m still your only... food source.”

“Whatever you can spare,” I said with a shrug. “I’m not feeling really hungry, but if I’ve been under for a week, it’s better to be on the safe side.”

“Okay... Well...” He looked at me intently for a moment, “Um... does this work for you?”

I closed my eyes and reached out with my magic, lightly running it along him as I drew whatever emotion it was into me. I could taste sweetness and a hint of warmth that flowed through me, smooth as silk . My limbs tingled and within seconds I was so full, I threatened to burst at the cracks.

“Happiness?”I smirked at him . “You mean you can actually feel happiness and there’s a setting other than ‘cranky’?”

He rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. “Yes, well, I’m somewhat relieved you're feeling better. Is that unreasonable?”

“Yes.” I grinned up at him. “Now, can you help me up so I can see how I actually look?”

He thought about it for a moment, before he nodded and stepped closer to the bed. “Carefully,” he warned. “Your body just went through an extreme trauma. We still don’t fully know what all the effects will be.”

“Alright, alright. Geez, what are you? My nursemaid?” I slung a hoof around his shoulder and together we eased out of the bed, wincing at each small movement. Eventually my hooves touched the cold stone floor and I blinked in surprise. I was actually taller than him. Not by much, but it felt... good.

A full length mirror was bought  over and I blinked in surprise, my jaw actually dropping at the sight. I looked like Fleur . I had that tall, lithe, supple body shape that stallions drooled over. My eyes raked over my entire body and I had to admit I looked good. Slowly, we turned around and I glanced at my hind legs and back. I looked damn fine.

My gaze swung back to Eclipse and my grin might have been a tad predatory. “You waxed me didn’t you?”

He shrugged. “Consider it a favor. You said it was important for carapace maintenance, and when the ritual finished, your shell was extremely soft, almost squishy. I did what I could to help remedy that, though I think your body healed mostly on its own.”

“Oh. Oh wow. Fuck. I’m surprised I survived.” A shudder ran through my body and he must have felt it because he poked me in the side.

“Relax. It’s fine now, see?” He tapped a solid plate. “It’s actually a little harder than it was before.”

“Yeah, but a soft carapace is really bad. Like, one wrong twitch and you’re dead bad. We have specialists to deal with that type of thing.” I sighed and a shiver ran down my spine. “It makes sense since I basically shed my old skin, but still. It’s a scary thought.”

“Well don’t worry. Luna instructed me on how to help strengthen your shell, and I took good care of you when she wasn’t here.”

“Thanks,” I said flatly. “I’d kiss you, but you’d probably drop me, wouldn’t you?”

“Definitely,” he answered curtly. “Perhaps you should lay back down now? Do you feel up to attempting some magic yet?”

“It might be worth it though...”  I took a deep breath. “Sure, let’s try some magic.”

“Alright, let’s sit you down first.” He led me back to the bed, and helped me sit down again, though I still winced at the pain. “Comfortable?” he asked as he stepped away.

“Sure. Let’s go with comfortable.”

“Alright, close enough,” he took a seat across from me, and watched me intently. “Let’s start with something simple. Grab your shadow. Don’t do anything with it, just tap into your magic and try to get a handle on your shadow.”

“What.” I looked at him flatly. “That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.”

“Look, I’ll show you how it’s done.” Suddenly his shadow twisted around so it was facing towards the light source. “It’s easy. You don’t even have to move it, just control it.”

“Um... okay...?” I tapped my magic and when there was no sudden urge to start screaming, I tried grabbing my shadow to no avail. “Er... it’s not working.”

“Keep holding your magic and watch how I do it. I’ll take it slow to make it easy for you.” I watched him, and I noticed that he wasn’t actually moving the shadows, but an energy that was in them. It looked kinda like how I put together the parts for a spell, just without any shape being made. “See? Try again.”

I nodded slowly and tried again, trying to let the magic flow through the shadow rather than trying to grip it directly, but still nothing happened.

“Stop trying to exert yourself. Think of it less like pushing something around, and more like... directing a water current. Okay, not really like that, but you get the idea, right?”

“Okay?” I tried to do what he said, directing the shadow rather than force it, but even then my shadows didn’t move at all.

“Hmm... Alright, how about we try something you’re familiar with. See if you can still change your shape. Try to make yourself look like something you’re familiar with?”

“That’s a bad idea if my carapace was as soft as you said it was.”

He sighed, defeated. “Alright, we’ll wait until Luna arrives. I should probably take the time to explain to you some of the risks associated with shadow magic before you dive into it anyway.”

“That will not be necessary.” Eclipse was immediately on his hooves and bowing to Luna. “Her particular skill set does not include any shadow magic.”

“What! Oh come on, that was the highlight of everything. Minus, you know, the whole makeover thing.” My eyes found Luna’s horn and I couldn’t help but smirk at the fact my horn was longer than hers.

“Really? No shadow magic?” Eclipse’s brow furrowed. “Not really a nightkin then, is she? What did you actually do to her?”

“Enhanced her innate magics, which is all the chemicals were originally designed to do.” Luna ran her eyes over me. “We are uncertain about thy specific skill set, but it shall be an enhancement of what thou were originally capable of.”

Eclipse frowned at that. “Couldn’t you do the same for a pony? That... actually sounds better than being a nightkin.Not that I’m ungrateful, Your Highness, but it seems to me like a simpler and more ideal transformation.”

“Different needs require different things.” Though from the way she said it, it was clear Luna didn’t want to explain anything. “Thou are here to protect the night and for subterfuge.”

“I... Yes, Your Highness.” He nodded and took a step back. “My apologies.”

Luna merely nodded and turned her gaze back to me. “Thou look healthy.”

“Thanks. I’m surprised you know how to deal with soft shells.”

“We art knowledgeable in all arts,” she replied. “We are here to merely officiate your new station and place within pony society.”

“Alright. So I take it I’m staying your dirty little secret?”

She ignored my comment entirely. “Thou will take up an Equestrian name as part of thy disguise and thou will be staying with Eclipse here in the castle. Once Celly is assured of thy loyalty, she is willing to supply thee with a place of residence. For now, thy sole duty is to recover.” She turned to face Eclipse. “Thou are tasked with ensuring her recovery and feeding her. For the next week, thou are relieved of all other duties.”

“Joy,” he answered with a bow, sounding completely unsurprised. “May I ask when other ponies will be let in on the secret, and I may resume my duties as normal?”

“To be determined,” said Luna flatly as she faded into the darkness.

“Does she do that often?” I asked, gesturing at where she once was.

“All the time,” he sighed and looked back to me. “Looks like I’ll be stuck with you for some time.”

“You say that as though it’s a bad thing.”

“Well there are things other than you I’d rather be doing with my time. I’ve only spent the last eight days bored and doing nothing.”

“Not my fault,” I said. “And since you’re whining so much, help me up. Let’s go explore this place.”

“I don’t think I will. Luna said I’m in charge of your recovery, and for now I say that involves rest. Go to sleep, it’s almost sunrise anyway.”

“Come on! It’s boring in here. At least see if you can let Vinyl and Octy visit. Pleeeeeeaaaaaase.”

“The sun isn’t up yet, both of them will still be asleep. Get some sleep for now, and I’ll ask Luna about it later.”

“Why not ask her now? Come on, you owe me.”

“I’d have to find her first, and you need some more time to gather your strength. If you can manage to shape-shift I might introduce you to some of the guards you’ll be working with, but for now get some sleep.”

“But sleep is boring and lame!” I huffed. “Why not introduce me to them now? Bring them in and all that jazz you know? It sounds like fun.”

“Because you’re still visibly a changeling? Unless you have the strength to disguise yourself, I can’t let anyone else find out what you are. So, like I said, get some slee-”

There was a knock on the door and a stallion’s voice shouted out. “Eclipse! Are you in there!”

Eclipse sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Speak of the draconequus...”

My ears perked up and I grinned at him. “Oh? What’s this? Sounds like fun...”

“Yes, I’m in here!” he called out. “But I’m busy, come back later!”

Then a mare said, “I think not. You’ve been MIA for days now and we want to know what you’ve been hiding from us. The current betting pool is in favor of you having a marefriend.”

I laughed at the expression on his face, but before I could say anything, he wrapped my muzzle shut with magic and glared at me.

“I heard someone laughing in there!” The stallion called out. “Who are you hiding?”

“Go away! I’m alone in here, on Luna’s official business.”

I managed to rip the magic off  with a bit of effort and yelled out, “Help! I’m dying of boredom! Save meeeeeeeee.”

“Hey! That is a mare in there!” The stallion crowed.

“Damn it Eclipse, how could you do this to me? I was going to be rich,” sighed the female.

Eclipse glared at me. “See what you’ve done?”

“You mean saved myself from a fate worse than death?” I grinned up at him. “Now toss an illusion spell on me. Or do you want them to know I’m a changeling?”

“I’m a nightkin, not a unicorn,” he growled. “I can’t do illusions, so you’re going to have to change form yourself. Or they’re not coming in.”

“And I told you, it’s a bad idea to do that if I’ve recently had a soft carapace.” I rubbed my temples. “Looks like you’re screwed.”

“Then they’re not coming in here.” He stood up and walked to the door, opening it slightly. “Luna’s orders, you’re not allowed in.”

“So Luna herself had to order you to get a marefriend?” I heard the stallion reply. 

“More like Luna had to order a mare to go out with him,” said the mare, and a second later, I could hear them hoofbump each other.

“Your wit is simply unmatched,” he answered dryly. “This is actually Luna’s business, and if you come in here I will report you.”

“You were right Pitch, without our influence he’s gotten even more dry and boring. Kinda like how he was before he met us.” I could just make out a hint of dark purple behind the door as the female continued, “At least come out here and talk to us. As amazing as it sounds, we have been worried about you.”

“I’m touched,” he replied flatly. “I find it concerning that my romantic life is of so much concern to the both of you. Rest assured that nothing sinister or remotely interesting is behind this door, and go back to the barracks.”

“Geez, just go out there and talk to them,” I said. “It’s obvious they won’t leave until you do. Hello mysterious ponies behind the locked door! It is I, the one whole will save us all from this malevolent force of boredom you have dubbed ‘Eclipse,’ for the fiend eclipses our joy with his bloated sense of... er... love for the rules. Do not fear, visit tomorrow and I shall be sure to greet my fellow comrades in the war against such a vile beast!”

Silence.

Eclipse face hoofed.

“I like her already,” I heard Pitch say. “Sure we can’t meet her?”

“Entirely,” Eclipse growled.

“He thinks I’m ugly,” I said in an overly dramatic whisper.

“Guilty as charged,” he replied flatly over his shoulder before looking back out the door. “Are you satisfied yet?”

“Wait, wait, wait, I don’t think my brain can handle this,” said the female. “There’s apparently a mare in Eclipse’s room, and she’s also as insane as you. Oh goddesses, we don’t need another Pitch.”

“No way, everyone needs more me! The fun has been doubled and all that shiz, I want to meet her.”

“Please don’t tell me she drinks. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it if she drinks.”

“Just leave,” Eclipse groaned. “She needs rest, and you don’t get to meet her until she’s recovered.” 

“Holy crap!” Pitch laughed. “Just what kinda freaky uber sex have you been having all week!”

I burst out laughing at that and I kept laughing until my sides hurt and my exoskeleton threatened to split in half again.

“...That’s it, I’m out of here,” said the mare. “There are some things that just aren’t meant to be heard or imagined.”

“Pitch, if you don’t shut your mouth right now, then I swear to Luna and Celestia, Cadence and Discord, that I’ll have you cleaning every bathroom in the city with a toothbrush. Your toothbrush.”

“Oh Eclipse honey, don’t be like that. Why don’t you come back to bed already?” I cooed, barely able to contain my laughter at his glare.

“So she is your marefriend?” Pitch asked.

“No, she just has a strange sense of humor. She’s a cousin,” Eclipse lied.

“That didn’t seem to stop you!” Pitch laughed.

“I really hope you don’t do that to all your cousins,” I added.

“Alright, that’s it.” Eclipse growled. “Private Pitch Black, as your superior,  I order you to leave right now.”

“Pulling rank? Mate, that’s a real dick move to-”

“If you don’t leave right now, you can explain to Luna herself why you’re disobeying orders.”

There was a pause. “Seriously?”

“Yes!” he slammed the door shut, and turned around to glare at me.

I grinned up at him. “You can’t hurt me remember? It’s your job to look after me and ensure I make a full recovery.”

“Damn it, Bluey!” He snapped at me. “Don’t you realise what my orders are? This isn’t funny, you sun addled fool, this isn’t a joke,” he growled as he came closer, looming over me. “This is important !”

“Alright, alright! Sorry.” The amount of anger pouring out of him was enough to drown me. “I was just having some fun, I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Do you have any idea how rare it is to be promoted past NCO? It hasn't happened for almost a decade!”

I shrunk away from him, trying my hardest to push back the anger, to stop myself from snapping at him for taking a joke so seriously. 

He snorted before turning away, and the anger radiating from him tapered off as he sat down again. “Get some sleep,” he ordered flatly.

“Look, I’m sorry okay?” I said meekly, finding it difficult to meet his eyes.

“I’m sure you are.” He picked up a book from the table next to him and started reading.

I bit my bottom lip, only to wince as my new canines drew blood.

“Um... look... is there, you know, anything I can do to make it up to you?” I asked.

“Try to avoid humiliating me again? Endeavour to not jeopardise the mission for your amusement? Stop talking and sleep ?” He closed the book and met my eyes.

“O-Oh. Alright...” I slunk down into the bed and pulled the duvet up to my neck before rolling over so that my back was to him.

I heard the sound of a book opening again, and pages turning as he started reading once more. I could still feel the anger flowing out of him and it took all my willpower to not yell at him. To tell him how much of a child he was being and to just accept the Celestia damned apology, but I kept that part of me locked away. I didn’t need another stint with emotions like last time, and if I exploded at him, I was afraid of the consequences. I was afraid of what that’d do to what fragile relationship I had with him.

After a moment, I heard him sigh. “Perhaps I overreacted, but in the future please think before you speak. There’s a time and a place for everything.”

“Sure,” I said, perhaps a tad too happily, but who could blame me?

“Now please, rest. I’ll talk to Luna about your friends before the sun rises.”

“Thank you,” I whispered.

He didn’t answer, I just heard the sound of a page turning.





I have no idea why I didn’t get a boxing bag before. Only had the damn thing for a week and it was already my favorite thing in the apartment. It wasn’t the same as a real fight, but it was in that direction, so it was somewhere I could channel my aggression to and get some decent exercise while I’m at it. I know Trixie doesn’t really like having it hung up in the middle of the living room, but she hasn’t told me to take it down, and I’m pretty sure she’s just happy I have a better way to deal with my anger for now.

Sure, it’s not really dealing with what’s got me angry, but it helps me put a lid on my problems for a bit longer, and damn it, I just love that feeling. Of completely losing yourself and forgetting about everything, your whole world boiling down to milliseconds at a time. Next punch, next step, next duck, next punch. Just find your rhythm and sink into it. Maybe I should join a boxing club or something? I know it’s not the same as real fighting, but it’d be a legal way for me to hit someone.

Panting, I came to a stop and began un-taping my claws. Glancing at the clock, I checked the time. Four thirty? That was enough for now I guessed. I’d already drawn most of the energy I could from the shadows, and had that weird black smokey shit coming out with every breath. I paused and sniffed, satisfied with the smell of sweat and leather. Trixie wouldn’t be happy if she came home and I smelled like a gym, so I decided to take a shower. Luna was the one paying for our water, so it’s not like I wanted to save hot water.

Stepping into the bathroom, I jumped into the shower and jerked the taps on. Hot water and colder water mixed to make lukewarm, and I adjusted it to a warmer temperature. Soap, shampoo, special pegasus feather cleaning crap that I go through by the ton, preen my feathers, relax my muscles, wash myself clean. It was another thing I could do that didn’t really need thinking, but I could throw myself at and drown out life for a minute.

By the time I was done, I was feeling better, a lot less tired, but for some reason I was still breathing black smokey shit. Trixie had left the wet towel on the floor again, so I dripped water all over the tiles as I hopped out. I grabbed a towel out of the closet, and glanced at the body sized mirror that was fogged up with steam. Using the already wet towel to wipe off the water, I switched to the dry towel and wiped the water out of my eyes and off my face.

A gryphon was standing there in front of me when I looked up. A male with a ridiculously feminine body, with colors just like mine, was glaring at me, looking hurt.

“Fuck-” I took a step back, and slipped on the wet tile. I stumbled, trying to stand straight again but failing and slamming into the corner of the shower right on my eye.

Groaning, I clutched my face. “Mother fucker!” I cursed and stood up, checking the mirror. My reflection stared back. “What the heck...” I muttered, snatching up the towel and drying myself off again.

I heard the door creak open followed by a cheery, “Gilda, I’m back and you will not believe what I found at the market today!”

I stared at the mirror for a moment, before I shook my head and stepped out of the bathroom. “Did you check the mail?” I asked her.

“Yep! There seems to be a letter for you from your mother,” she called back, her tail just peeking into vision from beyond the door to the kitchen. “I put it on the dining room table for you.”

“No packages this time?” I asked as I stepped to the table and picked up the letter. Mum’s writing was as neat as ever, fancy and elegant, making mine look like chick scratch.

“Not that Trixie saw and if there was a package, she would have blown it up.” A smile touched my beak at that thought. “Trixie would rather have a run in with the law than open another one of those.”

Tearing open the top of the letter, I glanced at the kitchen door and asked. “You said you got something while you were out?”

“Fresh venison,” she called out. “I figured you could teach me how to cook it better like last time. Remember? I had a lot of fun with that, and I know you did too, so don’t even try to deny it.”

“It wasn’t bad,” I answered. “But yeah, we can do that later tonight. If you want, I’ll take another shot at that weird mushroom ravioli I messed up last time.”

“Trixie will be sure t- Gilda!” My eyes snapped up and saw her staring at me in shock. “Did you get into a fight?”

“What?” I blinked in confusion. “No, why?”

“You’re bleeding and breathing out smoke.” She rushed past me into the bathroom and came out with some antiseptic. “Now hold still.”

“I am?” I touched my eyebrow, and it came away with a bit of blood on it. “Oh. Yeah, I slipped over in the bathroom. You left the towel on the floor again, so the tiles were wet.”

“Oh. Sorry.” She began gently applying it to the cut. “But that doesn’t explain the whole smoke thing. I thought you only got that if you did a lot of magic.”

“I was drawing energy earlier while I was using the punching bag, must have used more than I thought,” I replied and tilted away from her. “Seriously Trix, calm down. I’m fine.”

“Trixie is just concerned,” she snapped. “Now hold still and stop moving so much.”

“Alright, alright,” I stopped trying to move away from her as she cleaned out the cut. “Just relax Trix, there’s nothing actually wrong.”

“Trixie is your marefriend! She’s allowed to be concerned,” she growled before she examined the cut with a magical light. “Doesn’t look like you need stitches.”

I frowned as I breathed out and my breath was still smoking. Alright, this was getting a bit weird. “I told you I was fine.”

“And Trixie believes you,” she said.

“Then why are you still all... huffy about it?”

She directed a flat look at me. “Because Trixie is concerned, especially the smoke thing. Shouldn’t that have stopped by now?”

“I know,” I coughed and another black puff came with it. “This is weird.” Standing up, I shook my head and walked towards the kitchen. “Whatever, it should fix itself in a bit.”

“But what if it doesn’t?”

“...I actually don’t know.” Pausing in thought, I shrugged. “It’s not like it hurts or anything, so what’s the worst that could happen?”

“It’s magic. The worst that can happen is death,” she replied flatly.

I coughed into my claw. “Yeah... that’s a good point. Still, I’m not feeling anything yet. It’ll probably stop itself before it gets that far.”

“Sure?”

“I don’t know, pro-”

I paused as I glanced over my shoulder, and froze when I saw why I was still breathing black. My shadow was twisting and shifting, and I realised my magic making it to do that. I concentrated for a second, and pushed its energy away from me, leaving it still against the floor. Staring at it for a moment, I experimentally breathed out again, and there was less smoke on my breath.

“See? I just fixed it.” I grinned at Trixie. By the time I’d finished that sentence my breath was clear again.

She was obviously not convinced, but nodded slowly anyways. “Alright...”

“So what was Mum’s answer?” I said and picked up the letter again.

Dear Grizelda

Oh my, I never thought this day would come. My little cub is finally growing up. A letter, sent to me by her own (semi) free will. I- I think I’m tearing up a little inside. 

“Okay, I’m not that bad,” I muttered.

No doubt you think you’re not that bad, but let’s admit it, the only reason you sent this letter (in such a readable state) is because Trixie made you. On the subject of your marefriend, how is she? Managed to make use of my anniversary gift to you two yet? You better have, otherwise I’m going to be sorely disappointed in you Grizelda. A mare that hot under your own roof (and in your own bed I should certainly hope) and you don’t decide to get warm at night? Shame on you indeed. Perhaps you don’t know how to treat her right? She is a pony, and their anatomy is-

I shuddered, and skipped to where she stopped being creepy.

-ant grandcubs damn it, and you will give them to me! I hear unicorns have developed a very interesting (and fun) spell helping mares get pregnant. Maybe you should look it up some time. Two I might add. One male and one female. If you want more I won’t complain, but at least two. Got that?

I had to stop reading for a moment to facepalm. “There is something seriously wrong with my mother. Why did we write to her again?”

“Gilda...” warned Trixie.

“You read this crap and tell me she hasn’t taken one too many knocks against the headboard.” I waved the letter at her, then realised what I’d just said. A wave of nausea came over me at the idea and I shook my head clear. “And that was a mental image I really didn’t need.”

For a split second Trixie looked confused before she turned green. “Trixie did not need to hear that.”

“You and me both,” I mumbled as I looked back down at the letter.

-t not before marriage though. While that may not be as important to ponies as it is to gryphons, no cubs before marriage. I have this absolutely wonderful suit planned for you that I hope to be made by that seamstress I mentioned last time you were here. Apparently she works from Ponyville of all places, and is a Bearer of Harmony. Can you believe that? To think a mare from such humble beginnings could get so far in life.

“Is Ponyville the center of the universe or something?” I groaned. “Why does everything come back to that freaking town?”

“That town again?” groaned Trixie. “I hate that place.”

And on that subject, just what have you been doing with your life lately? I keep hearing rumors about some gryphoness that looks like a guy making trouble up in Canterlot, and let’s face it, if the only description was “some gryphon causing trouble” that would probably still be you. So just what exactly have you been doing and, what job do you have now? You better not be lazing around on your rear, and getting fat while Trixie does all the work. I like that mare, and I swear, if you drive her away with your slobish behavior, I will be most displeased.

“And she wonders why I never write to her. Is it every parent’s job to make their kid as self-conscious as possible?”

“Maybe it’s the mother’s job. Trixie has never been embarrassed by her father before in her life.”

“Nope, my dad was just as bad too. I told you about the time he put Grace in a dress, right?”

“If you did that, Trixie knows a couple of mares and stallions who would totally hit on him. Probably try to get in his bed too.”

Thinking about Grace made me think of how I... what happened in Aviana, and I had to pause to get my head straight before I started reading again. How Trixie knew what I was thinking, I had no clue, but she simply hugged me close and nuzzled my chest lightly.

“Thanks, Trix.”

She smiled up at me and kissed my shoulder before jerking her head back at the letter.

And since you offered so generously, I think I’d like to take you up on your offer. Things are starting to get a bit tense around here and while this place holds many memories for me, I think I’d like to live so I can make more.

And to see the birth of my grandcubs.

I will be arrive in a week’s time at about midday. Please pick me up in a timely manner.

Love,
Your mother.

P.S. In case the letter wasn’t embarrassing enough I’ve included your cub pictures as well as helpful diagrams for performing a horn jo-

Without looking inside, I grabbed the envelope and tore it in half before grabbing a matchbox and burning it.

“Does Trixie even want to know?”

“A diagram for a horn job.” I decided to leave out the pictures of me as a cub, as much as I’m sure Trixie would love to tease me with them.

“What.” Her right eye twitched. “There is something wrong with your mother.”

“Read the letter yourself, but if your eyes start bleeding, that’s not my fault.” I passed it to her. “Just skip the first couple of paragraphs.”

She scanned the page, looking green, but ever so slightly curious, and more than once, she seemed to go back and reread those first sections again. Please tell me insanity isn’t contagious, and that Trixie hadn’t caught some creepy disease from paper handled by my mother. And then her eyes darted up to me and there was a mischievous smirk on her face.

“Please tell me you’re about to make fun of me for that ‘gryphon making trouble in Canterlot’ bit. If you’re about to suggest that weird ass spell she mentioned then I’m gonna have to go out back and hang myself.” Right after I said that, I had to fight the urge to wince. That joke might have been funnier if I hadn’t actually tried to do that a couple of times.

Trixie just looked up at me sadly. She did try to smile, but it just didn’t work.

“Sorry,” I muttered. “What was it you read anyway?”

“The first couple of paragraphs.”

“And we’re never going to talk about those ever again, right?” I couldn’t keep the hope out of my voice.

“Mmmm...” She batted her eyelids at me.

“Just keep reading, and tell me...” I blinked for a moment. “Wait, we mailed her about a week ago, right?”

“Yes...” she replied absentmindedly as she kept reading.

“So... she said she'd be arriving in Canterlot about a week from when she wrote it... which would be today if she answered us the day she got it...”

“Your mother is arriving today!?” The letter was dropped and I was suddenly being shoved towards the door. “Go pick up your mother while Trixie tidies up the house. Delay her as much as possible.”

“Where would she even be landing?” I asked as I was pushed into the hall. It was all I could do to pick my sunglasses as I passed and put them on. “She didn’t mention where I could find her.”

“The train station!” she yelled. “Go, go, go. This place is a mess and I need to clean.”

The door was slammed shut behind me, and I sighed and braced myself internally. “There’s no way in Tartarus this isn’t going to suck.”

I headed up the stairs to the roof, and spread my wings, moving towards the train station at a decent pace. It was barely five minutes before I landed again, but I was puffed because of the exercise I’d done earlier. I was careful not to tap into my magic, I didn’t want mum to be worried I’d taken up smoking or something if I had black crap on my breath.

Entering the train station, I was surprised at the number of gryphons I saw, but it still wasn’t too hard to find my mum in that mess. When I spotted her, she was sitting on a bench with some luggage and looked annoyed. Seeing her again was like a hit to the gut. Damn it, she looks so much like Grace. I took a moment to catch my breath before I walked towards her.

When she saw me approaching she smiled and stood up, opening her arms for a hug.

I hesitated for a moment, before I stepped into her and accepted it. “Hi, Mum. Have you been waiting long? I swear I only just got your letter like five minutes ago.”

“The mail must have been delayed due to the war,” she replied and smiled. “But how are you? Managed to get around to doing the deed yet?”

“Is that seriously the first thing you bring up?” I replied as I let go of her. “No, ‘the trip was fine’ or ‘how’s your work’?”

“If you didn’t always avoid the question in the letters, it wouldn’t be the first thing I ask,” she chuckled as she handed me her bags.

“Ever think there’s a reason I don’t want to talk about that crap with you? Fuck, you even make Trixie uncomfortable.”

“Gilda, language,” she said. “And it’s not nice to insult your mother.”

“Look, we’re seriously not talking about that right now.” Or ever. I changed the subject as we headed out of the train station. “How are things back in the Kingdom? Is it as bad as the papers say?”

“Probably worse. They are trying to keep a lot of things hush-hush in case the other nations interfere,” she said. “I had been planning on leaving already, but didn’t have anywhere to go and I didn’t feel right asking you for room, especially if you and Trixie have been... getting at it.”

Holy shit, she’s back to that already. “Well, you should have given me time to get things ready and waited on another letter from me. If you plan on living here for more than a few weeks you’re gonna need a working visa. Whatever though, I’m glad you got here safe.”

“But you are in good with Luna right? Or is that just a rumor?”

“...It’s complicated.” A thought crossed my mind and I asked, “Hey, did you bring that book I asked you about in my letter?”

“Yes I did,” she chuckled. “Thinking about teaching your mare friend some gryphon history?”

“Uh, maybe if she’s interested, mostly I just wanted to read it myself.” Trixie asked me to delay Mum, so now I needed to find a way to distract her for a few minutes. “Hey, feeling hungry? It’s almost lunch, want to get something to eat?”

“It’s been a rather tiring journey. I’d prefer to just get to your apartment and rest up if that’s alright. Plus, I’ve missed Trixie, she’s such a sweet mare.”

“Yeah, real sweet,” I repeated. Crap. Sorry Trix. “Uh... listen, mum, there’s something you should probably know.”

“You got Trixie pregnant didn’t you?”

“What? No!” I spluttered. “How would that even work? We’re both female, even if we weren’t from different species.”

“Magic.” She nodded sagely.

I groaned and facepalmed. “No. She’s not pregnant because magic. That would be stupid. Why would you even think of that? It’s like, the last thing I’d ever bring up.”

“It was either that or you broke up with her and I’d much rather it be the first option,” she said with a shrug.

“We haven’t broken up,” I replied shaking my head. “It’s just uh... well...” After a second, I sighed, took off my sunglasses and met her gaze. “This.”

“Oh Gilda, I thought you knew better than to get those weird eye changing magic things the younger generation is so into. Sure, it looks exotic, but who knows what sort of damage that magic is doing to your eyes?”

“No Mum, I didn’t...” I trailed off, thinking about it, before saying, “Yeah, you’re right, that was stupid of me. Sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.” Slipping the sunglasses back on, I was grateful to have dodged that particular bullet so unintentionally. “We’re gonna need to try and find you a job pretty soon. Me and Trixie aren’t tight for cash, but supporting three mouths at once’ll stretch things pretty bad.”

“Thanks. As much as I enjoy needling you, you are a good daughter.”

Except for the part where you murdered her son.

“Y-yeah, thanks, Mum.” I stretched my wings and jumped into the air. “Come on, let’s get home already.”

“Alright.” She followed me up and it’d had been so long since I had seen her fly that I had forgotten how graceful she was in the air. “Where to?”

“Just follow me.” I called. “I’ve got an apartment about five minutes from here. Nothing fancy, but it’s pretty close to the castle.”

“Anything close to the castle is expensive,” she said.

“Yeah, but we get benefits.” I told her over my shoulder.

“Ah, to be young and in with royalty,” she chuckled.

I bit down the urge to yell back that I wasn’t ‘in with royalty’.

We flew in silence after that until eventually we landed on the rooftop, and I paused to watch her land. Damn it, she always looked beautiful, but when she was flying she was somehow even more bloody elegant.

“Nice view,” she said as she glanced off into the distance were we had a perfect view of the waterfall coming out from under the castle. “Let me guess, the sun rises in that spot between the waterfall and just under the castle?”

“Nah, you got it backwards. The sun goes down there, and rises in the other direction. Why?”

“This place probably costs a lot more than you realize,” she said.

I shrugged. “Anyway, come on. Trixie’s waiting.” Turning around, I headed down stairs towards my apartment and opened the door. “Hey Trix, we’re here!” I called out.

“You’re back!” I suddenly found a happy mare kissing my cheek and just as suddenly, she turned to mother. “Welcome! I’ve just put some venison on for you and I’ve cleaned out our spare room for your stay.”

I blinked at her. “I thought we were gonna cook that later tonight together.”

She grinned at me. “Trixie just got some more, and if you like, you can help me cook it now.”

“Yeah, alright.” I nodded, though I was a bit disappointed we couldn’t do what we had planned for tonight. “I’ll just help get mum settled in first then I’ll be right back.”

As I turned to move away, I felt her pull me back and kiss me lightly on the beak before whispering, “Trixie promises to make it up to you tonight.” 

It took me a moment to realise what she meant before I grinned at her. “Works for me.” I turned to Mum. “Come on, I’ll show you to the guest room.”

“I’m glad to see you two still being romantic,” said Mum. “It’s such a shame when couples just let it fizzle out.”

I rolled my eyes. “We’ve only been together for a year, Mum, it hasn’t been that long.” I pulled open the guest room door and held it for her. “Need help unpacking?”

“A year is still a long time,” she said. “And no, I’m fine. No offense, but I don’t trust a pony to cook meat.”

“Hey, Trixie’s actually getting pretty good.” Then I paused. “Well, she’s not exactly ‘good’ yet, but she’s learning. Maybe if you offer her some pointers it could help her out.”

“I don’t think so. I saw that look on your face when she said she was cooking me venison. Probably got that just for you didn’t she?” I looked away as she touched my cheek. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that to you, but go to your marefriend.”

“Alright, it’s fine.” I gave her a decent smile. “Just try to be understanding if she doesn’t get things right.”

I left her to it, and walked back to the kitchen, taking off my sunglasses and leaving them on the counter. “So, what have you done to it so far? Were you planning on trying to roast this?”

“Yep! Since I can actually sort of pull that off.” She held out an apron for me.

I just stared at it, before looking back at her with an eyebrow raised.

“Come on, please?” She gave me the big cute eyes all ponies have mastered somehow.

Sighing, I glanced between it and her, before reluctantly putting it on. “This is the only time I’m ever wearing one of these.”

“Hm...” I felt that predatory gaze on me. “You look hotter in a suit, but this isn’t bad.”

Did having mum in the other room get her going or something? “L-let’s just get this roast on so we can take this off sooner.”

I flipped open the oven, and checked what Trixie had done with the meat. I grabbed a tea towel and used that to protect my claw as I took the tray out. Internally, I sighed at it. Trixie had the spices and oils in the right measurements, but she hadn’t rubbed them into the meat before putting it in the oven. It wasn’t too late to fix, but it was gonna affect the taste a bit.

I had to let the meat cool down before I could touch it, so I turned to Trixie. “Would you mind peeling some potatoes for me?”

“Sure.” She began working away, humming happily as she did so. “So, what did Trixie forget to do this time?”

“Nothing too bad, you just have to rub the salts and oils into the meat before you put it in the oven.” I left it there to cool, and grabbed out an onion. “Also, a roast is kinda more a dinner meal, not really lunch. Still, it should be fine.”

“Ah.” Trixie nodded slowly and handed me the potato. “I wanted to impress your mother. Think it’ll work? I do want her to like me you know... Do you think she likes me?”

“Don’t worry about that, Trix. She thinks you’re really sweet, and she’s already talking about us having cubs together.” I shuddered at the idea. “I seriously hope she doesn’t bring it up while we’re eating.”

“At least she’s not bringing up the... er... other stuff...” Trixie blushed bright red and couldn’t meet my eyes. “I thought female gryphons weren’t meant to be so, you know. So why is your mother...?”

“Because we’re females. If either of us were male she wouldn’t be half as pushy and forward about all that crap.” Sighing, I started cutting up the potatoes and laying the pieces down on a tray. “I mean, yeah, she spent half her days back home trying to seduce dad, but it was more subtle. Have you noticed how she only ever managed to get pregnant once, but the way she talks about it, her and dad were... busy? I think there might’ve been something wrong with one of them in the... baby making department. Plus, with the way me and Grace turned out, I think she was worried dad would leave her for not turning out the son he wanted, so she might have been trying to keep him around.”

“Oh. Well. As long as that means she isn’t pressuring us into adopting or something.” She must have seen my nervous glance away because her head slammed into the table. “She is, isn’t she?”

After a moment I rolled my eyes and nodded. “She’s demanding grandcubs, though she says not before we’re married. Which I think just means she’s planning on marrying us the first chance she gets.”

Trixie smirked, though the blush still stained her cheeks. “Just remember Trixie’s demands and she’ll consider it.”

“White-gold ring, sapphires, sunset, somewhere nice.” I went over the checklist out loud. “Anything I forgot?”

“That sounds about right.” She planted a kiss on my cheek.

It was about a minute later we had all the cooking finished, with the meat roasting in the oven next to the potatoes. I put all the knives and dishes we used in the sink, and got out some plates and drinking glasses.

“It should be done in about half an hour,” I told Trixie when I turned around and started untying the apron only for her to stop me. “Trix?”

“Keep it on.” She grinned impishly up at me. “You look good in it.”

I felt my cheeks heating up, but I shook my head. “Nuh uh, no way I’m wearing one of these things ever again. Not to mention if mum walks in and gets all, ‘My cub’s wearing an apron! I’m so proud.’ and starts trying to take photos or some shit.”

“Please?” She looked up at me with those wide eyes of hers before the her trademark smirk was back. “I just wanna show her that I’ve managed to get you into an apron, especially since she had so much trouble trying to make you learn how to cook.”

If she used just the big eyes, she would have won me over. I untied the apron and lifted it over my head, “Doesn’t that seem a bit... I dunno, bitchy to you? As in, ‘See what I did that you never could?’ I don’t want you to compete with Mum over who can control me better.”

“It’s not about trying to control you! It’s about showing her that... that... You know. That you’re willing to go out of your comfort zone for me. You know?”

I shifted on my paws, tossing it over. “But I really don’t want to wear one...” I whined. “They’re just so...”

“Once. Just this once. And I’ll do anything you want.” Fuck, she was using the eyes again.

Groaning, I pulled the apron back over my head and tied it up again. “And there I thought fighting off a horde of mutant changelings and a goddess would be the worst thing I’d ever have to do for you.”

“Thank you!” All of a sudden I found my back against the counter, her hooves on either side of me and her lips pressed tight against mine. Was that tongue?! Fuck, maybe I should wear an apron more often. Trixie has some serious mommy issues of she thinks aprons are sexy.

My eyes widened and I stared at Trixie in horror. Oh fuck no, please no. I had to fight the urge to shred this damn apron right then and there.

“G-Gilda?” asked Trixie.

“I-it’s nothing,” I shook my head and turned away. She passed me beer while she was having that flashback. She passed me a fucking beer the same way she probably did for her mother. Oh goddesses, no. Please tell me Trixie isn’t with me because of I remind her of her mother. “L-let’s just set the table.”

“Gilda. Talk to me. Please,” she begged.

I flinched at the way she asked me, and didn’t answer her as I walked out into the living room. Then I saw Grace sitting at the table, and I almost tripped over my own paws. That wasn’t Grace, that was Mum, I reminded myself as I straightened up. Yep, definitely Mum looking at me with concern.

She still doesn’t know you murdered him.

“Gilda, darling? You alright? Did you and Trixie have a fight?” She walked over to me and made to hug me, before pausing, no doubt remembering how much I hated to be hugged.

“N-no. Trixie’s fine,” I turned away from Grace- Adelina and pulled the apron off me as fast as I could. “Food will be ready in a minute, I just need some air.”

I had to stop myself from running as I walked to the door and yanked it open hard enough to slam it into the wall. I flinched at the sound it made, before closing it more quietly behind myself and dashing up the stairs. When I got to the roof, I stopped to catch my breath, pacing for a moment or two while I blinked tears from my eyes.

So, your marefriend is with you because of unresolved mother issues, your mother doesn’t know you murdered her son, and because you walked out like that, everyone thinks you’re crazy. Which you are.

“Shut up!” I hissed, “Just shut the fuck up!” My voice cracked and I sat down, trying to catch my breath.

You’re a danger to everyone around you. Someone needs to put you down before you kill them the way you did your brother.

“I said, shut the fuck up!”

“Gilda?”

My head snapped around, and I saw Trixie watching me, looking worried.

“Sorry, I just... I just...” I shivered and looked ahead. “I just needed some air.”

She slowly walked over to me and hesitantly placed a hoof on my shoulder. “Are you alright?”

I leaned into her touch, and pulled her closer with my wings, wrapping her up in a tight hug. “I’d never fucking hurt you. I just couldn’t.”

Tell yourself that. You think if you kill Trixie, Luna would still want you to captain her guard? You’ve got more than enough in common with Nightmare Moon already, kill a lover or two and you’re all set to try and make it Eternal Night.

“I know.” She hugged back and rubbed my back lightly. “Trixie believes you and loves you.”

“I love you so bloody much.” I had to ease off on the squeezing, because I was worried she’d pass out.

Nightmare loved you, didn’t stop her from trying to brainwash you. You loved Grace too, still killed him easy enough.

“I know... I know...” Kisses feathered themselves along my shoulder and neck as she began running a hoof down my spine. “I know you do and I love you just as much.”

I took another deep breath, before I let her go and put a palm to my head. “I’m sorry... I just... She just looks so much like him. I saw her sitting at the dining room table like that and I thought she was Grace and... I just had to step out for a bit, that’s all.”

Trixie simply held me close to her chest and stroked my crown feathers. “It’s alright. I understand.”

“I swear I could never kill you.” I whispered under my breath, before flinching the moment I said it. I prayed Trixie hadn’t heard me.

“Hm? Did you say something?”

I didn’t answer her, just breathed out again and took a step back. “Let’s just go back in. I’m fine now.”

“You sure? Trixie can ask your mother to stay elsewhere if you’d prefer.”

I considered it for a second, before shaking my head. “No, I said we’d take care of her for now, so we’re gonna do it. At least until she can get a job and a visa.”

“Sure?” Trixie pulled back slightly to look me in the eyes. “Want me to talk to Luna about it for you?”

“Yes I’m sure. There’s no way I’m kicking her out because I’m the one who killed her son.” I said firmly. “If you can convince Luna to help her, then fine, but other than that I don’t want her having anything to do with my family.”

“Alright. I’ll go talk to her tomorrow morning and you can show your mother around or something.”

“Yay,” I muttered. “We should probably head back in before she gets worried.”

“She’ll be fine, I’m more concerned about you right now.”

“Seriously, I’m fine now. I just needed a moment to... I just needed a moment.”

“Sure?” She hugged me tight once more and looked up at me. “Trixie doesn’t mind you know.”

“Yes. I’m sure.” I answered. After another moment of hugging I said, “Uh... Trix? You can let go now.”

“But it’s so comfy,” she pouted.

I couldn’t but laugh at that, and hug her closer for a moment. “Never change, Trix.”

She took the opportunity to give me a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’m just telling the truth.”

I let go of her, but she stayed snuggled up against my side and under my wing as we moved back downstairs.

Yeah, a hug and a kiss makes it all better. As long as you never actually confront the problem, or face the fact you’re going to hurt her until it’s too late.

Closing my eyes for a moment, I took a calming breath for a came to a stop. “Actually, Trix. Before we go back in there’s something I need to ask.”

She looked up at me questioningly.

“Trix... Do I remind you of... I mean...” Do you want to fuck me because of unresolved shit between you and your mother? “Oh fuck, uh... Did... Your mum ever wear an apron?” Please-say-no, please-say-no, please-say-no.

She just looked at me blankly. “Everypony wears aprons in the kitchen. Who wants to be splashed with hot oil while cooking? I bet most gryphons wear aprons in the kitchen!”

I coughed into my claw. “Uh... that’s not what I was getting at... I mean... uh... Look, just forget I asked.”

“Come on, talk to me.”

“It’s just... Oh, fuck... I have no idea how to say this...”

“You think I love you because you remind me of my mother,” she said simply as though it was the most obvious and straightforward thing in the world.

“Uh...well, yeah... I’m a bit worried about that ever since you had that...” Mental snap? Trauma induced flashback? “...Episode the other day, and then you thought I looked hot in an apron for some reason and... you gave me that beer.” Now that I said it out loud, that actually sounded completely ridiculous.

“You do realise how ridiculous that sounds right?”

“Uh... yeah...”

“Oh good, otherwise Trixie would be disappointed.” She flicked her mane to the side and gave me an amused smirk. “I would be an idiot to date someone like my mother and don’t you forget it.”

“Yeah, can we just... forget that I ever mentioned this?” My cheeks were so red I could swear they were bleeding. As much as I enjoyed the sound of her laughter, it was not helping at all this time around.

“I don’t know... maybe I should see if I can get something out of you.” She licked her lips and I gulped. “I’m sure I’ll be able to think of something.”

“L-let’s just get back inside,” I stammered as I turned away and almost tripped on the first step. Please tell me Trixie didn’t see that. Her giggle said otherwise and just like that she was somehow under my wing again.

When we entered the apartment again, I was feeling much better. Seeing Mum didn’t feel like staring at my dead brother, and I was even smiling a bit when we came through the door.

When we saw her, she was busy reading a paper, but her eyes immediately drifted up and the biggest smile I had ever seen appeared on her face. She was beaming at me and from the way her wings ruffled, I just knew she was barely containing her joy. Part of me wanted to facepalm, the rest of me was just glad she wasn’t too worried. Goddesses know I don’t want her probing too deep into my life and the crap that’s going on in my head.

“Uh, sorry about running out like that,” I said. “I was just feeling a bit out of it.”

“It looks as though you’re feeling better now.” Her eyes darted over to Trixie then up at my smile. “Much better it seems.”

“Y-yeah, a lot better.” What the heck did she think we were doing up there? We walked further into the room, her eyes following me with that wide smile on her face. “So uh... what are you reading?” I asked as conversationally as I could.

“Oh, just about how a certain gryphoness stood up for gryphons all over Equestria,” she chuckled.

“Oh, that?” I rolled my eyes. “That was weeks ago. Dash asked me to come to that meeting, and everyone was saying things so freaking retarded they made me cringe.”

“Sounds like you alright. I’m surprised you didn’t end up swearing at everypony present.” The page was turned and she kept reading on. “You know, you should attend those meetings more. According to this it’s got all the gryphons really worked up and last night’s meeting was super packed with lots of gryphons speaking out.”

“Well if they’re speaking for themselves what’s there for me to say?” I shook my head.

“Well some of them are saying you’re the source of their inspiration. To think, my darling Gilda acting as an inspiration to a whole nation! If it weren’t for you, they wouldn’t be out there right now. You don’t need to say anything, you just need to inspire.” Mum focused on Trixie. “Something your marefriend has a lot of experience in I’d assume. Come on dear, give Gilda some pointers.”

“Please, Trixie has been trying, but have you tried to teach Gilda anything?” The two shared an amused smile over that one. “Sadly, Gilda does not want to be involved in politics.”

“Oh?” And there was that arched look being directed at me. Fuck my life.

“What?” I folded my arms and sat back. “I’m pretty happy with the way things are for now, I don’t see why I need to get into boring complicated crap like that when I’m... well, I’m just me. Come on, we all know I’m not really...” I searched for the word. “Figurehead material. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed or not, but I’m a delinquent with knife scars and a criminal record. I’m the exact stereotype of what ponies are afraid of from gryphons.”

“And the fact that you’ve got a beautiful marefriend-”

“Thank you.”

“-and stable income, a relationship with a Princess, and this Rainbow Dash, who sounds like some important pony, goes to show you can’t judge a gryphon by the way they look.” Now she fixed her motherly ‘I am right’ stare at me. “You are somegryph everyone can relate to.”

I rolled my eyes. “Look, do we even have to talk about this? I’m not taking Luna’s stupid job, alright?”

“Wait, you get to call the Princess by her first name and she offered you a job? And you didn’t accept it. Of course you didn’t, you always wanted to do things your way. You never could take help or charity.” Though she sighed, I wasn’t sure if it was out of fond memories, sadness, or annoyance. “I suppose some things never change.”

“I call her Luna out of disrespect more than anything,” I muttered, before sitting forward. “Look, it’s not about doing things my way or taking charity, it’s because I just don’t need that crap in my life. I’m perfectly happy to work a normal job, get a normal pay, and deal with normal problems. This is about what I want, and that fact that what I really don’t want is more attention from the press, and gryphons looking to me like some kind of hero. I don’t want to be in Luna’s Guard, because I’m just. not. interested.” I punctuated each word by jabbing a claw into the table top.

“Very well,” sighed mum.

“Don’t sound so disappointed,” I frowned and sat back again.

“I’m your mother, I can sound however I like,” she said.

I sighed, and stood up again. “Whatever. Did you unpack that book I asked about?”

“Yes I did, I placed it on your bookshelf.”

“Alright, thanks.”

I walked down the hall and stopped by the book shelf. It only took me a second to spot the faded grey brown cover and tattered spine. ‘Common Myths of the Black Eyes, Great Scars, and Red Ends’ written on the spine in faded black.

Just seeing that book made me feel a kick of nostalgia. Picking it up, I carried it to the room me and Trixie shared before sitting down on the bed and flipping through it for a bit. Most of the pages were faded and a bit yellow, and every now and then you had to squint to make out the words, but it was still readable. Shit, it’d been so long since I’d seen this book. All the stories I could remember reading jumped out at me; ‘The Death of the Titans’, ‘The Days of Ash and Wind’, ‘The War of the Broken Skies’, ‘Last Shadow in the Day’. I actually giggled at how damn cheesy most of those names were.

“Gilda?” called Trixie from the other room. “Lunch is almost ready, can you help set the table?”

Calling back, “No problem!” I closed the book and set it on the nightstand before I headed out the door, and walked into the living room. Moving the plates and dishes to the table, along with some drinks and bread, it took me less than a minute to get it all ready before I stepped into the kitchen. “Have we got any wine for Mum?” I asked.

“We’ve got some red wine in the cupboard!” she yelled back as the roast venison was slipped out of the oven. “Why don’t I grab it while you carve this?”

“Geeze, Trix. I’m in the room, no need to shout.” I told her as I grabbed out some tongs and a knife, and started carving into the meat.

My stomach growled at the smell it made, and I tasted a bit. Perfect. Well, perfect for me anyway. I don’t know mum’s preferences, but I always liked a slightly gamey taste, and some bitter spiciness. Shit. In retrospect, mum would probably prefer it a bit sweeter, maybe with some fruits or honey glaze. Trixie had started cooking it before I could tell her a different recipe though, so there was no chance for me to change it.

I drained the fats and cooked bloods from the tray into a pot, before turning that into gravy with some other ingredients. Trixie was always a bit grossed out by that, but it’s the best way to make a good gravy, so I figured it should be fine just this once.

Soon we had all the food laid out, and we were sitting around ready to eat. It was kind of a big meal for lunch, even if it was a late lunch, but maybe we could just have something simple for dinner.

“Okay, this looks and smells delicious. Who cooked it?” asked mum. “I’m tempted to say Trixie simply because I don’t think Gilda would ever learn something like cooking willingly, but it is meat so...”

“Both me and Trixie cooked,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “I’ve been by myself since I was twelve, you know? I have actually learned to take care of myself.”

“Cook, yes. This? This isn’t cooking, this is like, gourmet level of cooking.” She reached out and took a bite of the venison, chewing it slowly with her eyes closed. “This is close to bliss. I’d prefer it a bit sweeter, but this is really, really good.”

I glanced over at Trixie, then back to Mum with a shrug. “Well, I lived with a butcher and his wife for a while. They were practically offended by my cooking, and I was taught a bit by them. But seriously? Gourmet? That sounds like crap to me.”

Trixie looked a tad green, but kept silent and mum was too busy eating away to care.

“No, seriously. This is good. Maybe gourmet was stretching it, but this is the best meal I’ve had in weeks.”

“Well... It’s cool that you like it.” It felt kinda awkward saying that to her, especially with the history between us. How many years did she spend trying to get me to take an interest in this crap? I opened my beak to speak, but shut it and put a few roast potatoes on my plate instead.

“It was all Gilda. She might hate cooking, but she’s really good at it. Trixie still can’t cook meat well, but I’m getting there. Slowly. With her help of course.” A loving look was tossed at me as Trixie grabbed some of her salad and pasta. “And she’s already almost as good as I am with vegetarian dishes.”

“Oh, is that so?” Mum gave me an amused look. “Maybe I should try some of my daughter’s pasta dishes sometime then.”

I shrugged. “If you want, maybe.” My plate was already mostly empty, and if I didn’t say so myself I thought it all tasted damn fine. “Just don’t expect me to cook too often. I still don’t like doing it.”

“Despite Trixie’s best efforts,” she huffed.

I rolled my eyes and kept eating. It wasn’t long until I was done, and I got myself a cut of meat and some more gravy.

“You know, cooking is a good way to score extra points,” said mum only for Trixie to immediately shush her. “What? It’s true isn’t it?”

“It’s a secret,” said Trixie. “Males aren’t supposed to know that.”

“Oh, so Gilda’s the stallion in the relationship?”

Trixie’s face was immediately redder than raw meat and I groaned and facepalmed. “I think I’ve lost my appetite.”

“What? What did I say? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not surprised since Gilda is so... masculine, but... well... you are a unicorn.”

If anything Trixie looked redder as she pulled the rim of her hat down to hide her face.

“Adelina!” I snapped and gave her a glare. “Seriously? I mean, fucking seriously?! Would you say that shit with guests in the house? Why would you think that’s okay? In what way is that dinner conversation?”

“As your mother, it’s my job to ask awkward and embarrassing questions, especially when it has to deal with sex. A healthy sex life is part of a healthy relationship. Is it my fault I care about my daughter and want her to be happy?”

How the fuck did she manage to sound so reasonable while saying all of that!?

“Our sex life is just fine, so butt out, alright?” After a moment, I added, “Fuck. You’re the last sentient in the entire world I want to talk with about this.”

“So did you use the gifts I sent?”

My face slammed into the table, and I had to bite back the urge to scream. After a calming breath, I sat back and gave her a glare. “I’m pretty sure that thing’s illegal in Equestria.”

“It’s actually made in Equestria, if you can believe that. And here I thought ponies were a species of prudes.”

I clenched my fists and stared at the ceiling. “We’re not finishing this discussion.”

“Okay, okay.” She turned to Trixie with a bright smile on her face despite the fact that Trixie was more red than blue. “So! How about we go shopping tomorrow?”

“T-Tomorrow?”

“Yeah! It’ll be fun. We can look at dresses and the like. You know, things Gilda doesn’t like.” A glare directed at me. “And we can see if we can find some cooking stuff and I’ll make both of you a real meal.”

“Uh, Trixie was going to talk to someone about getting you a working visa tomorrow.” I glanced at Trixie, then back to Mum. “And we have work to go to tomorrow night as well.”

“Oh? Where do you work at?”

“I’m a bouncer at a club not far from here. Trixie works as a stage magician there too.”

“Really?” She leaned back in her seat. “Mind if I come along? I’ve never seen one of your shows before.”

“Well... er...” Trixie glanced over at me for help.

I just shrugged at her. “I... can’t think of a reason why not...?” Trixie, think of a reason. Think of a reason. Think of a good reason!

“Well, um, I suppose you’ll have to prepare yourself for the mind boggling greatness that is Trixie!” At least she wasn’t throwing out fireworks indoors anymore. “She will dazzle you, she will amaze you, she will turn your mind in on itself as The Great and Powerful performs feats beyond your wildest imaginations!”

I was caught between amusement and exasperation. She could have at least tried to think of an excuse. “Anyway, Trixie can’t go shopping with you tomorrow. There’s some stuff that kinda needs to be taken care of.”

“Fine,” said Mum with an eye roll. “Maybe some other day then.”

I was finished with my food. I probably could have gone for a third helping, but with Mum sitting there I knew she’d use it as an excuse to dig at me about eating less or something, before topping it off with some suggestion about how if I exercised more it’d help my endurance in bed. I was finished way before they were, so I was left sitting there while they kept slowly eating.

Shit, what was Mum gonna do tomorrow while Trixie was out? There was no way I was gonna be up to showing her around town without any sleep. Not to mention the whole ‘being nocturnal’ thing was something I still hadn’t talked with her about yet. I couldn’t put that off for long, could I? I’d have to talk with her about it eventually. Probably best if I get it out of the way now.

With a sigh, I asked, “Hey, Mum... Have you heard about the nightkin?”

“Yeah, just met one today actually. Really sweet girl, maybe a bit brash and swears a bit too much, and she may have anger issues, but I know her heart is in the right place. Plus, I’d say she looks kinda cute, though if she knew that she’d probably complain until my ears dropped off.”

“...Okay?” I blinked and gave a confused look at Trixie before turning back to Mum. “That’s kind of a lot to know about someone you met for the first time...  but whatever. Anyway,” I shook my head. “There’s sorta something you should know...”

Adelina just stared at me blankly before turning to Trixie. “Was she always this dense? I swear, she’s gotten denser since last time. Don’t tell me you had to stick your tongue down her throat for her to realise you had a crush on her.”

Trixied blushed yet again, but this time she managed to reply, “She’s always been this dense.”

I glanced between the two of them as realisation dawned on me. “Wait... you... were talking about...” I blinked and frowned. “Hey! I’m not cute!”

“Trixie disagrees.”

“Well there you go, if your marefriend disagrees then you’re wrong and that’s that.”

I rolled my eyes. “So you knew? When did you find out?”

“Well Princess Luna sent me a letter apologising for everything, as well as paying for Grace’s funeral and a bunch of other stuff.”

My stomach dropped and I gulped. “H-how much did she tell you?”

“Not much. Just that you became a nightkin unwillingly and that it was her fault. I tried to ask about Grace, but she said that was for you to tell me.” Mum slipped out of her seat and hugged me close. “But whatever happened, I don’t blame you. Alright? I know we weren’t always the closest, but you’re a good gryph.”

I couldn’t hug her back. There was no way I could hold the mother of the brother I’d murdered. It took me a moment, but I realised I was trembling. Partly from guilt, partly from sadness, and partly from pure fucking rage that Luna had dared contact my mother after what she did to me.

“I... I...” I couldn’t take it for a moment longer. Breaking away from the touch, I knocked over the chair as I staggered back from the table and away from Gra- Adelina. “No! Don’t touch me!”

“Gilda?” He-she made to reach out to me, but Trixie pushed her out of the way and forced me to look at her.

“Gilda, focus. I’m here. Come on, it’s fine, it’s okay. Everything will be fine.” Trixie slowly reached out for me. “Calm down, deep breaths.”

“No!” I panicked and took another step back, but bumped into the wall. Fear overcame me and the shadows flooded to my command. Before I knew what I was doing, I’d disappeared through them, and stepped out into the hallway outside our apartment.

Thick waves of black smoke rolled off my breath as I charged down the stairs towards the street. I tripped on the way down, and was sent sprawling onto the lobby floor. Slowly, I shook my head and stood up, heavy waves of dense black crap crawling out of my lungs. Standing above and in front of me was a gryphon. A feminine, pretty, male gryphon with a sad and betrayed look on his face.

“How could you have done that to me? How could you have murdered your brother?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“How could you make me do it?!” I screamed back. “Why did you have to try and kill Trixie!?” Tears were streaming down my face, and I curled into a ball, hugging myself. “Why did I go through with it? How could I have done that...?”

So it’s his fault then!? The voice in the back of my head snarled. You were the one that put a knife in his heart when he was just trying to hold you off. How could that ever have been his fault?!

“Shut up! I didn’t have a choice!” I staggered back up and shouted at the empty room. “He was going to kill everyone!”

No one answered me.

Panting, I collapsed to the floor again, coughing out flecks of black gunk. Then I lay there shivering. I don’t know how long it was for, but this cold feeling started to spread from my insides out as the smoke coming out with every breath thickened, and more and more black ooze started leaking from my open mouth and nose. I might have been dying, but I didn’t really care.

“Gilda?” Trixie’s voice was faint. “Come on, this isn’t funny! Where are you?”

I closed my eyes, and concentrated on her voice. Trixie was worried about me. If I didn’t let her know where I was she’d just get more worried. I didn’t want that. There was no way I was letting Trixie get hurt like that.

With shaky claws, I pushed myself up and croaked out her name. Or I tried to. There was too much of that black ooze in my beak and throat for me to say anything coherent, and all that came out was a loud gurgle. Swallowing all of it that I could, I tried again.

“Down here.” It was barely louder than my normal speaking voice, and as raspy as fuck besides.

The effort was too much, and I collapsed to my knees as I vomited out all the gunk I’d just swallowed along with the food I’d helped cook. The sound of hoofbeats echoed through room and a second later, Trixie came bursting through the door only to stop dead as she stared at me in horror.

“Adelina! Get a guard, quick! We need to get Gilda to the hospital,” she yelled as she rushed to my side. “Also get Luna, I think something’s wrong.”

“It’s cold...” I gurgled into her shoulder as I leaned into her touch, shivering and holding her warmth as close to me as I could.

I felt her cape wrap around me as she began warming me with her magic. “It’ll be alright. Come on, stay with me Gilda, stay with me. Adelina! Where’s that fucking guard!? It’ll be fine, just focus on me. Come on Gilda, you can do it, just focus on my voice. You better not die you hear that? If you fucking dare do that to me I will fucking drag your sorry ass back from Tartarus. You hear me!?”

A chuckle escaped my beak. Or a gurgle. I hugged her as close to me as I could, and looking over her shoulder I noticed all the shadows in the room, heck, probably all the shadows in the building flying into me. It was like the plug had been taken out of the sink, and all the water was rushing down the drain. My claw trembled against Trixie’s back, and I think I might have cut her as I clenched my talons.

I started to push against them. With every last scrap of willpower I had, I pushed against the shadows crawling into me and stopped drawing them in. The black fog on my breath lightened a bit, but there was still way too much and before I knew what I was doing, I’d vomited black gunk all over Trixie’s back.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! We’ve got no time for this.” Trixie’s horn lit up and I felt something pushing down at me from all side. It swirled around us, and I realised dimly Trixie was using all her magic to... to... cast a spell. I thought of the crack in her horn, and how casting that spell to try and stop Nightmare nearly killed herself doing it.

“Stop!” I shouted, or tried to, and tried to stand up again. “Your horn!” My foreleg gave out from under me, and I smashed into the ground again. I looked up and saw Trixie, standing there with tears in her eyes, in deep concentration as fucking terrifying amounts of magic swirled around us. The pressure on my skull grew, and my vision started to waver. I tried to shout at her, but couldn’t even muster up the energy to speak. Every muscle in my body refused to listen to me. Everything went blurry and out of focus, my eyelids slowly closing despite every effort to try stay conscious.

“Don’t worry, I’m the Great and Powerful Trixie.” I could hear the smirk in her voice. “And nothing can kill me.”

Then my eyes closed and all I saw was black.