//------------------------------//
// Plan of action, or lack thereof 
// Story: Mercs on a Mission 
// by Gairenard 
//------------------------------//

Chapter 2 - Plan of action, or lack thereof

"I am the overseer of the equestrian postal service. My job in your quest is to intercept and relay mail to you and keep any confidential information about your whereabouts contained. There are others who follow me that will ensure that all circulating mail is clean of your activities. And we can do this because we are the only postal service available on Equestria, so mail from every corner of the land is filtered through the Ponyville headquarters before sent to an outpost near one or more cities. This system is effective when letters travel long distance, but suffers if you just want to send it to the next town over." After the initial reaction to her sudden appearance, Derpy convinced the mercenaries to listen. They all sat around the now lit fire pit after having Scout fetch wood, much to his protest, and the muffins were under consumption. Derpy was a gray pegasus mare with a luscious golden mane and eyes, and a bubble mark on her flank known by natives as a cutie mark.

"Why would you betray your own country, let alone your own race?" Soldier asked between bites of the confection; patriotism has always been his ideal and he respected those with the same thought process, so long as that individual glorified America.
"I’m doing this as payment for saving my daughter's life.” Derpy’s voice became quiet and remorseful. Clearly uncomfortable how the conversation quickly took a unwanted turn. Not wanting to disappoint however, she told her tale “My daughter had been diagnosed with an unknown virus and nopony knew what it was or how to find the cure, because it reacted negatively when magic was used.” A visage of sadness and anger became apparent in her tone. “Those ponies would have just,..let her die. There was nothing they could do.” She looked back and forth at the humans before her, with a more fascinated look, and a fiery aura of self-redemption. “You humans however, you understand how everything works without magic! Humans were able to find the cure after doing some "weird science*" on her and I was ever in their debt. Afterwards they told me that they could also fix my crossed eyes that got me my name in the first place. They did fix them." Her golden yellow eyes reflected the firelight as she spoke. Her blunt yellow mane flowed from a soft wind that fueled the flames. Reminiscent of the days past.

"I sent letters and information across the border detailing what was happening in Equestria for the human newspapers. I was recently told to stop. When I was asked to help you via mail..-I couldn't refuse, when I said in their debt that also meant a giant hospital bill. I still hadn't fully paid the bill for both me and my daughter, and it was starting to pull me down the financial drain." She seemed to struggle to speak and started to stare into space towards the end. Shaking her head softly, Derpy regained herself. "I didn't come here to drown you out with my life story. Onto important business!" She seemed to confidently recite rehearsed words, crisp and clear. "Mail is still allowed to travel in and out of the country, therefore your orders are sent in, and I pass them onto you. Two: We handle goods from all around the Land; from your average birthday card - to Royal furniture, so we can smuggle you into any outpost or town. Getting you back here is less-"

"Hold yourself mam! I got that part covered." Engineer spoke up to add his two cents.
"You sure?"
"Heck Yes!"
"O-K then. Lastly, your first mission." Many mercs had voluntarily drifted into subconscious space once they realized she was starting to produce more exposition than the cause of the war itself. Now that she started saying stuff that mattered to them, they tuned back in. 

Trotting up to the closest member, she presented herself to Demoman, who had snapped out of his drunk state, and held out a large envelope with a thumb printed wax seal.
Taking it he said, "Thanks lassie, but what if we need ta call ya?" 
Derpy didn't know how to feel about being called "lassie", a common name for dogs, but kept that to herself. "I'll visit every morning and evening to pass over morning news and orders." Derpy glanced back and fourth. Satisfied with the first short meeting of many to ensue, she made a mock salute and flew out without another word.

(*Weird science is what is commonly referred to when magic and technology are used together.)

Demo blinked. By the time he blinked again the envelope had been torn open by his hands. Inside was two maps and a small rectangular block with speaker holes on one side. Taking the block out of the envelope, he looked up. Everyone stood or sat at attention around the fire. Demo looked over the block for any buttons, switches, anything else to activate it. The backside appeared to have a fingerprint reader. Placing his thumb on it, a voice came from the block a moment later.

"Hello, this is a message to the TF-S." The voice sounded like a man of authority. Like the kind of person you respect after talking with him for 5 seconds. Having stated the recording Demo went straight back to the bottle. "Recorders are to be destroyed as soon as you no longer require their information. These must not fall into the enemy han-..eh.. hooves as it were, for even this basic device might aid in their cause to use our technology against us." a few seconds of silence. "Your first target is the west coast town of TallTale. It is an easy target that has little support due to surrounding mountains to the east. We need you to disrupt construction of any military buildings; destroy as much military buildings as possible; and do anything else that will render the town vulnerable. The beginning of the war will be fighting off equestrian settlements on our land before heading to the main continent. So this job is merely to slow them down." A moments pause. "Remember that you are not to reveal to the populous of who you are. You will strike and nobody will know what hit them. All this said, you will not be blamed for civilian deaths so long as you get the job done, and you can use any means of destruction as you deem fit." A few more seconds of silence before the sound of static noise filled the air.

Sniper had taken the map of TallTale and placed it on the whiteboard with magnets while the man talked. Everyone moved to get a view of the map once the man finished. Sniper, having had the chance to examine it stood beside the board. The scene was not unlike a teacher preparing to address his desk-less students. "Right then, the town has three large districts evenly divi-d from a circle, which is assumed to be the city limits. The military district is to the east, busies to the north, and resis to the south, but there is an obvious problem."  

The evidenced problem with this map, was that it only was a street map, name labels of major constructions happened to be the solitary indicator for structures. The military district had many labels, but the largest was labeled "Canon fort D." Two others were present on the map. One was in the residential, another in the businesses, and the military one placed in the center of the town. 
"So when we arrive, we will be dropped off close to, perhaps into, ze military district?" Spy questioned, pointing at a spot labeled Postal Services. "That's right frenchie." Spy didn't respond to Snipers answer. 

"Oh! Is that za hospital?" Inquired Medic, pointing at a large piece of land labeled "hospital" that was placed in between the residential and the military districts. "I vould love to have a chance to get my hands on their medicine for zome... experimental research." At the last part of his reasoning Medic looked left and right quickly to ensure his team of good intentions, despite his maniacal smile. Rifleman chimed in, "I don't think that should be a priority-"
"It is not?" Heavy said with an unanimous expression. "What are men without medics?" Heavy made a valid point. If done thoroughly enough, the reconstruction of the building should put a few things on hold. Scout too, pointed out a good reason. "That and medic might kill Rifleman if he gets too bored." Rifle knew these guys were somewhat crazy, and didn't doubt what Scout said either. He and medic glanced at each other in a I-will-be-watching-you way.

Soldier took charge, "We will take a stab at it, but this map doesn't show what anything looks like, we need to see this town in first person before we decide on anything; and for the record newbie, you can't call any shots yet. You earn your place after some experience with us on the battlefield." 
"Murph-Murph-Murph, hudda-Murph. Murph-Mur-Murph."	
"Pyro is right. We'll inform our transportation tomorrow, and we'll just have to see what we're up against before any plans are made." Soldier proclaimed. A reasonable course of action as the map provided little help for a proper game plan. "Its about 7pm." Spy said, glancing at his watch. "We should sleep in an hour. It might be the last full sleep we get for a while."
“Alright men! Lights out in thirty! DISMISSED!”

Engie pulled Rifle over and aside as the meeting broke up. "Look partner, you don't want to be here and we aren't nearly excited about it either, but for the record, why did they bring you into this? Really?"

"My best guess is that they wanted to get rid of me. I hated the discipline, but I had a good performance record if I do say so myself. Also they probably had someone look at your videos from the Gravel Wars and said,” (Rifle took up a high pitched voice) “ 'These guys are a bunch of maniacs! I would feel much more comfortable if you sent one of our dear boys with them'-like the damned mother f’ers they did! What did they think this was, a school for fresh mercs? Teaching me useless stuff just so I can get pulled out and dragged to the front lines? I don't need to be told about the bullshit that I need to put up with! I don't need to be told about what's at stake! I D-" Rifle stopped himself before he shouted. "I don't need to be told how to put bullets into the flesh of goddam pink. princess. ponies. You got that Texas ranger?"

"Boy, you better put what ever you have in your head away, and start putting your bullets where your dam mouth is, or I'll put one there for ya myself! You get that?" 

-Morning-

"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THIS?!" Soldier stared in fear at a silver pouch the size of a frying pan. The other mercs appeared intimidated by it as well. 
"They're called MREs: Meals Ready to Eat." Rifleman was holding the offensive pouch, and found it hard to believe that they hadn't seen one before. "You just add boiling water and wait a minute for it to rehydrate/cook." The veterans suddenly became overcome with visible dread. "Please tell me, those aren't Mann.Co branded, please..." Pleaded Scout. His voice carried a rare honest tone of concern. "No," Replied Rifle somewhat confused still, "In fact I quite like this stuff." As he said this, boiling water from the fire was poured into the pouch and the sound of the hissing water slowly faded away. 

Taking the pouch, Soldier decided to give the product a taste test. "I will be the judge of flavor! Unlike some people here; I AM NOT A PICKY EATER! I WILL SWALLOW!" The grave warning spoken, he grabbed a fork stuck on the pouch like a straw for a juice box. Peaking inside, the food revealed itself to be some form of ravioli with alfredo dressing. Braving the first bite, the American carefully chewed. He looked ready to spit it out at any moment should his tongue recoil in the slightest. Despite his promise to swallow. "Yo, is it alright hard head?" Scout said, silently trying not to laugh at Soldier's expression. 

The man said nothing, for his mouth was full, then he swallowed, and he then spoke. "That ain't half bad! This is good food. YOU WILL ALL EAT IT! AND YOU WILL ALL LOVE IT!" Before Rifleman could say anything else, all the other mercs grabbed a pouch and began swarming the boiling water in the fire. 

It was a warm Monday morning and the TF-S were having breakfast on their sleeping bags. Engie leaned over to Soldier, “I talked to him last night Solly, after the meetin.” Solly, Soldier's nickname, responded with a mouth full of food. “mmm, mm-mm” 
“He's just angry and confused, I can hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. I doubt he knows the truth, he probably knows as much as we do.” Having swallowed Solly answered Engineer with words. “You think he will live through it?” 

“You know he will. I jus don't understand though.” 
“What?” 
“Jus as a matter of why they did it in the first place. We are a team, a working machine that, time and again gets upgraded if whacked enough times with a wrench.” Soldier didn't fully understand the metaphor, but went along with it. “Well… maybe hes the metal needed for our next upgrade?”
“Perhaps, but that would be a pretty big upgrade, and one we migh not need.”

“Well, we can cross that bridge when we get there.” Solly took another bite.  Engie grinned. “I'm surprised you're eating something not made in america for once. Ravioli is, uh..Italian I think?” He broke out into a small chuckle. “MMM! (GULP) THAT IS WHERE YOU ARE WRONG!” Turning the package so that Engie could see the bottom, labeled in fine print was “made in USA” “THIS IS MADE IN THE US MAGGOT! IT IS FILLED WITH CHEAP MEAT AND FAKE CHEESE!” 

"Ah, our mail haz arrived!" Announced Medic. Indeed Derpy had delivered on her promise to arrive with the newspaper in hoof. "Morning guys! Its the big ol' Monday Equestria Daily news." Derpy called back as she held up the single newspaper in hoof. 
Demoman called out from a mouth of Scrumpy infused re-hydrated eggs. "Paper boy!-" "Oh shut the hell up Demo! I'm moving!" Scout made his way to the rolled paper in Derpy’s hoof and began distributing parts of it to his team. "Heavy, here's the food section. Engie, the main page. Pyro, adds. Sniper and Spy, Politics/ Opinions. Demo, travel section. Sports, for me. Comics for Medic. Soldier, they have a section completely dedicated to the war effort. (OH! Give it here twinkle toes!) Yeah, yeah, here. And Rifle, you get wants left. (Weather section, eh)"  

Scout sat down with his quadruped sport paper and, itching for some redemption, called for the coffee. "Yo Coffee Scott! How's the brew coming along!-" "ACH! Ye bloody, weasel. The brew should be done bi now, I’ll have ye know." The solar powered coffee maker was a gift from Engie's mother. The coffee beans from Brazil was a small gift from the United Nations for gratitude of carrying out the dark deeds that they were paying them to do. Demo was in charge of preparation and brewing of the coffee. "Ah! A fresh cup of Joe." Ten muggs had been provided as well. "Mmmm... and a firm medium roast." Soldier said as he drank in its warm aroma, for he was a man who loved his coffee. Rifleman overheard Soldier shouting about American made ravioli, and was curious. “So you don't eat non-american products, but drink brazilian coffee?”
“This is different. Apart from Demoman, I too know my way around coffee beans, coffee is sweet like the death of Tom Jones! And no one is out of deaths sweet touch!”

Derpy, who had gotten up early to ensure that she should arrive on time, had missed her morning cup, and was instinctively drawn to the brew. Before taking a single mug without asking, she noticed a lack of sweetener. “Wheres the creamer?” 	
“They don't give out such a luxury like that on the battlefield.” Sniper spoke, his head hidden by a thin wall of headlines. “You guys drink this straight?!” As she exclaimed this, other members of the party served themselves a mug, only for them to return to the paper and their food. “We are no puny men. We no need sugar.” Heavy responded, holding his mug with the utmost care, and sipping the coffee like tea, before eating a re-hydrated crumpet with butter.

“MURPH! Murr, Murr.” Pyro's mug and MRE bag were already empty. Even how it eats remains a mystery. “Pyro has ze point, we need you to take us to Tall Tale.” Spy translated. Thinking for a moment, Derpy replied, "That's a 4hr flight. I can have your transport arrive in an half hour. But you still haven't explained how you're getting back?" Derpy was aching for a good answer. What could they possibly have that can deliver them back in reasonable time? And across long distances? 
"And it will stay that way." Engie adjusted his goggles as he spoke with blunt force.
"Do you guys have a plan then?" 
“Of attack? Nooooo Mam!”
“Any particular target?”
“None of your bloody business.” Sniper curly responded.
“Do you want muffins on your trip?” Derpy wanted a positive response from them for once.
”YES!” was the unison answer.

“Fine then." Derpy said calmly. "Your transport will be here in thirty minutes and your muffins shall be blueberry.” The response she got was unison again but this time as movement as they actively readied themselves for the journey. Because the majority was still eating breakfast, nearly ten humans before her made a great effort to wolf-down their food and drink as if it were a eating contest.This was followed by a few burps for effect. 
“Ugh, men.” Derpy left disgusted, but secretly amused, to call the transport forward.