//------------------------------// // Happy Endings Are Lame // Story: A Gilda'd Opportunity // by Ludicrous Lycan //------------------------------// Happy Endings Are Lame “Gyaaaaaaaaww.” The yawn leaving Gilda’s mouth stretched her cheeks farther than she thought was possible. She felt her jaw pop and her eyes were shut closed. When the yawn died down, she started stretching out her legs one at a time, receiving a satisfying pop from each of them… all except for one. Gilda kicked her leg at the air vigorously, extenuating each frustrated thrust with an irritated grunt. The action was met with a questioning look from her companion of that morning. “Is your leg still giving you trouble?” Rainbow Dash asked, giving the limb a sidelong look. Gilda groaned and stomped her hoof into the dirt. “Yeah… It doesn’t hurt anymore, it’s just…” She rolled her shoulder and scowled down at the joint. “Stiff, like the muscle is balled up.” Rainbow chuckled and flashed a knowing smile. “I wouldn’t worry about that too much… Not with where we're going.” Gilda rolled her eyes at Dash. “Again with the hints…” She shook her head and turned to the door they had been loitering in front of for the last ten minutes. “How much longer is Rarity going to take?” The two mares were sitting out in front of Ponyville’s Carousel Boutique, Rarity’s place of business. They had been there for a short while already, but when they had attempted to enter, they were stopped by the resident fashionista and asked to wait for her outside. Apparently, Rarity had been tasked with playing host to her sister and her two friends for the evening prior, and was working to clean up a mess. And a very big one if her disheveled mane and manic look had been any indication. Needless to say, neither Gilda or Dash was about to object to the stir crazy mare. Especially with the unsettling twitch in her eye and the long suffering smile she wore even as the sound of breaking glass echoed out of her home. Gilda harrumphed and trotted in front of the door. “I’m going in, I’m gonna go nuts if I just sit out here.” Dash wore a flat look, but didn’t make a move to stop her. “Rarity said she was taking care of Sweetie Belle and her friends. Knowing those fillies… That has ‘bad idea’ written all over it.” Gilda rolled her eyes while pushing against the door with her hoof. “Geez, Dash, they’re just-” “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS: GAZEBO BUILDERS!” No sooner had the door swung open than Gilda was assaulted with a shrieking wall of sound and three stampeding fillies. The noise alone was enough to set her off, and she took to the air, just barely avoiding the overhang of the Boutique and the rampaging trio. Gilda could hear Dash laughing her tail off from just below her and decided it was safe enough to return to the ground again. “What the heck was that!?” she yelled in bewilderment. “And what does it have to do with a gazebo?” Rainbow shrugged, an obnoxious smile still plastered to her muzzle. “That...” She pointed a hoof in the direction the fillies had gone. “Would be the ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’.” Gilda continued staring at Rainbow expectantly. “And they are…?” Dash chuckled and motioned her hoof theatrically. “Depends on who you talk to. The answers go from enthusiastic fillies, all the way to hazards on hooves.” Gilda nodded along, but then tilted her head it to the side. “And what was that about a gazebo?” “I believe I can answer that question,” Rarity chimed in as she stepped out of the door before locking it behind her. “Applejack’s brother is building a new gazebo for Sweet Apple Acres. The old one burned down you see… There was an unfortunate incident involving a catapult and a staggering amount of fireworks.” Gilda’s eyes widened, and she shot Dash a questioning look. “Don’t tell me… them?” The snickering she received was confirmation enough. “Shall we get going?” Rarity asked, already leading the way. “If we leave now, we can have breakfast and then meet Aloe and Lotus before noon.” Gilda nodded in agreement while she kept pace with Rarity. “Sounds good to me, I’m starving.” Her stomach echoed the sentiment. Rainbow laughed and Rarity offered Gilda an understanding smile. The three of them settled on eating at the same cafe they had met at the day before, happily enjoying the food that they ordered. It wasn’t long until a fourth member of the group appeared. Pinkie Pie came bounding around a corner, her usual wide smile beaming at the three of them. She zeroed in on the group and plopped down into a seated position between Gilda and Dash. “Hi Gilda! Hi Dash! Hi Rarity!” Pinkie exclaimed, giving them each a smile as she spoke their name. “How are you girls doing? Didja like the party last night?” A round of happy nods were the only responses until Gilda managed to swallow what was left of her sandwich. Gilda took a quick sip of her water before she spoke. “It was okay,” She said nonchalantly before breaking into a wide smirk. “For a pony party.” Pinkie scooted closer to Gilda and and narrowed her eyes scrutinizingly. “Are you suggesting you’ve had a better party than a Pinkie Pie party!?” Gilda chuckled and poked Pinkie’s side. “I’ll tell you what, when I’m back to normal, I’ll show you how a Griffin has a good time!” “Hmm...” Pinkie hummed thoughtfully, not breaking her stare. She broke it after a few tense moments, returning to her usual wide smile. “Sounds like fun! And next time, I can throw an even better party!” Gilda laughed and rolled her eyes. “We’ll see about that…” She paused for a moment, remembering why she was in Ponyville to begin with. “I would really like to go back to normal soon.” “Oh yes,” Rarity chimed in. “While we’re on the subject, Gilda, how are things progressing with your… situation?” Gilda shrugged and sighed dishearteningly, still holding a wan smile. “I went to see Twilight again after I left the party last night, but she wasn’t able to find out a whole lot.” Her smile grew by just a hair. “She’s convinced she’s seen my problem somewhere before and just can’t remember what it is exactly. It was kind of funny seeing her bug out about it… for a while.” Shaking her head free of the image of the frantic unicorn, Gilda chuckled. “If you ask me, this whole situation is like one huge, bad joke…” Rarity cocked an eyebrow at Gilda. “Perhaps, but you do make a marvelous mare, Gilda.” She quickly turned away from Gilda’s glare and addressed Pinkie. “Pinkie, dear, would you like to accompany us today?” Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. “Sure, where are we going?” Rarity nodded her head towards Gilda in a warning manner before speaking. “We are going to see our friends Aloe and Lotus for a relaxing afternoon.” Pinkie looked between Rarity and Gilda before bursting into a torrent of giggles. “Ooooh, sure Rarity, that sounds like fun!” Gilda looked at Rarity and Pinkie, who were all smiles. And then at Dash, who appeared torn between laughing at some unseen joke, or running from some unknown threat. Gilda decided enough was enough. “Alright, ha ha. Very funny,” she fumed half-heartedly at Rarity. “Look, I lost the bet fair and square. I get that you have something planned, now why don’t you just tell me already?” Rarity didn’t respond right away. She instead took a hoof full of bits and placed them on the table alongside a small gemstone. Rising from her seat, she cantered around the table and pointed to a building in Gilda’s line of sight from where they sat. “I believe that should answer your question.” A thud resounded from the table where Gilda’s head whumped down onto it. “How did I not see that coming…” Just down the road stood a white building with a purple tent top roof. A sign on its front displayed a white coated mare with a flowing mane and tail. Without a doubt, it was Ponyville Spa. Rarity set off towards the spa with Pinkie and Rainbow in tow. Gilda slowly followed behind, a defeated look on her face that everypony ignored except Dash, who was wearing about the same look. “So, Pinkie,” Rarity spoke up to try and distract herself from the pity party taking up the rear of the group. “Perhaps you could get a trim.” Pinkie tilted her head and averted her eyes. “What do you mean?” Rarity tsked at Pinkie disappointedly. “Come now, Pinkie. You can’t put it off forever.” “Hmm…” Pinkie hummed to herself in a look of mock consideration. “Nope, no idea what you mean!” She pulled ahead of the group with a carefree smile and a bounce in her step. Rarity sighed, but decided against pressing the matter any further. Instead, she slowed her own pace to match Gilda’s. “Cheer up, it won’t be that bad. This is only meant to help you relax and refresh you.” She nudged Dash in an attempt to gain support. “I promise you’ll feel absolutely splendid after yesterday. Just ask Rainbow Dash!” Gilda looked to Dash for some semblance of assurance. To Rainbow’s credit, her hesitant smile looked genuine. “Yeah, it’s… I mean, the spa can be...” Rainbow trailed off, racking her brain for something to say that could convince Gilda. She eventually shrugged. “I got nothing.” “Thank you, Rainbow Dash,” Gilda and Rarity said in tandem. Gilda cocked an eyebrow at Rarity, who smiled innocently. “It’s fine, I was prepared for whatever you had in store when I lost the race.” “And that is quite noble of you, dear.” Rarity commended her as they came up to the front door of the spa. “But if you would just give it a chance, I’m sure you would like it. When I first started my runs, the massages there were like a blessing for sore muscles.” Gilda perked up at the mention of sore muscles. “You don’t say…” She was about to ask something when Dash hurried along the other side of her and began whispering in a hushed tone. “Don’t fall for it, that’s just about the same line she used to sucker me,” Dash hissed quietly. “Really, Rainbow Dash?” Rarity chided, obviously overhearing Dash’s joke. She pushed open the door and hurried everypony inside. “Honestly, all I wanted was to help Gilda relax! This isn’t even the bad part of what I have in store for today…” Gilda was too busy looking around the room to hear Rarity’s last comment. “What was that, Rarity?” Rarity hummed in feigned acknowledgement, but didn’t otherwise answer Gilda. “Lotus!” she called, and was pleased when a blue mare with pink hair poked her smiling face into the lobby. “Hello! We’re here for that last minute appointment I set up yesterday!” “Rarity, welcome,” Lotus Blossom greeted warmly. “And oh my goodness. These are your surprise guests? Is that Rainbow Dash again? We haven’t seen you in ages!” Dash offered a sheepish smile and bobbed her head agreeably. “Yeah, It’s been so long… hehe.” She shuffled her hooves nervously and avoided eye contact with the spa mare. Her eyes darted this way and that, almost as if she expected to find somepony watching her. Aloe stepped into the lobby then, a warm smile on the pink mare with the blue mane’s face as she inspected the spa’s latest visitors. “I thought I heard our best customer in here!” she beamed at Rarity and then everypony else in turn. “Treating a few friends again, I see. And we have a brand new face! ” “Yes, this is Gilda,” Rarity introduced Gilda to the two mares. “We’ve recently become better acquainted, so I was hoping to treat her to the usual from when I first started my morning routines.” “Ah,” Lotus nodded in understanding. “So that would be a massage, hooficure, and herbal soak if I remember correctly,” she listed off while rubbing her chin in thought. “Yes, that’s the one,” Rarity confirmed. “It should just be the four of us, if you don’t mind.” “Not at all!” Aloe chirped. “I’ll see to it that everything's ready to go for after the massage.” She turned back and poked her head through a doorway into the spa proper. "Hans! Can you get a fresh spa bath going!" In answer came a deep, rumbling voice. "Vat?" Aloe clearly slumped and sighed in the door, then yelled again, louder this time. “The bath!” She took a step back into the room, and turned back to Rarity with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Miss Rarity. I’m going to have to handle this, Hans is new… and doesn’t speak Equestrian very well…” Aloe trotted off back into the spa, attempting to speak in a language nopony present quite understood. Except maybe her sister, Lotus, who winced at the mangled attempt at fluent Germane. “Well then,” Lotus spoke up to recapture everypony’s attention. “Anything else before we get started?” "Oh oh!" Pinkie’s hoof shot up before Lotus could finish her question, her eyes glued to a crystal bowl of sweets sitting on the front desk. Lotus stifled a chuckle, knowing full well what Pinkie was after. “Yes Pinkie, these candies are complimentary. You can help yourself.” She looked across the faces of everypony else for a moment. “If that’s it, then all I ask is a moment while I prepare a few things. This will only take a moment and then we'll be right with you.” Lotus trotted into the back where her sister had gone. Within moments, Pinkie descended on the unsuspecting bowl of candy on the counter, voicing her happiness as she gobbled down the morsels. Gilda and Dash watched her with varying levels of amusement while Rarity flinched back in shock. This continued on for less than a minute, Pinkie having devoured every last sweet and now reveling in her enjoyment with a satisfied look. She noticed the stares she was receiving from the others and shrugged defensively. “What? She said I could help myself.” Rarity let out a seemingly weighted breath. “Well, yes Pinkie, she did, but you’re not supposed to-” She was interrupted by an announcement. Lotus chose then to walk back into the room, four steaming towels balanced on her back. “Alright, each of you take a towel and go on back to…” She immediately took note of the now empty bowl on the counter, before proceeding to raise an eyebrow at the pink mare whose muzzle was now covered in candy-bits. Pinkie met Lotus’ gaze and fell silent for a moment. But only a moment. Her expression flattened and she wiped her face with a hoof. “You took too long…” she said coolly, backing up to the door as she spoke, “Now your candy's gone.” Pinkie bumped the door open, continuing to back away at a steady pace. “That’s what happened…” She whispered the last part, and continued out until the door closed on its own. When it was fully shut, Rarity, Gilda, Rainbow Dash, and Lotus could hear the sound of Pinkie’s galloping hooves race away from the spa. Everypony stared at the door of the spa quietly, unsure what to make of what just happened, or if Pinkie was going to come back. When nearly a minute had passed, Rarity broke the wordless silence. “I suppose we will only need three of those towels now,” Rarity commented starkly. Lotus nodded a fraction, then bumped one of the towels onto the counter before stepping forward for the three remaining mares to take one each. “I do believe you’re right.” She laughed and shook her head. “She didn’t have to leave, it’s not the first time she’s done this. I even keep extra candy under the counter just in case she comes by.” Rarity rolled her eyes and frowned at one corner of her mouth. “Oh I highly doubt that’s why she left. I think she’s been putting off getting a manecut for some time now, is all.” Lotus oohed in understanding, then snickered. “I see. Well then, if you’ll all just follow me!” Leading the way for her customers, Lotus entered the main area of the spa and over to a row of massage beds. She then instructed the three mares to climb on and assisted in laying their towels over their backs. Gilda and Dash wore begrudging looks, but did as they were told. Gilda, because she was a griffon of her word, and Dash, because she had in all honesty suffered through the spa for less than, say, helping out her old flight-school buddy. Aloe came along once everypony was in position. “Are we getting started?” she asked, getting into position beside Lotus, who seemed unsure of who to start on first. Lotus sighed. “I’m sorry, but it seems one of you will have to wait until the other two are finished.” Rarity made a surprised sound. “How silly of me to forget. You can take care of Rainbow Dash and Gilda first, I can wait,” she assured them. Gilda laid there apprehensively as Aloe came up beside her. The mare’s confident smile did little to ease her anxiety. Aloe picked up on her customer’s worry, and decided to try striking a conversation to ease the tension. “You’re new to Ponyville, aren’t you?” She began getting started on Gilda’s back. Gilda, immediately, felt a small pop. Where Aloe kneaded a bundle of muscles on her back came a wave of relief. Her eyes scrunched shut on reflex. “Oooh... I mean, yes!” she corrected herself quickly and attempted a tone of normalcy. “I mean, I’ve been in town a few times before, but this time is a bit… complicated?” She frowned at the floor. “Go on,” Aloe encouraged her as she busied herself with the job of loosening stiff muscles. Her brow furrowed in concentration when she came upon a particularly knotted cluster. Gilda tensed up at first, the pressure on the balled up nerves causing a flare of pain that she hadn’t been prepared for. Her leg felt as bad as when it first started acting up… at first. After some kneading, the masseuse changed gears, which quickly eased Gilda’s joint. She hadn’t been ready for it. “Whoa!” Gilda exclaimed. The realization of what Aloe had just done struck her as she straightened, her leg feeling better than it had in what felt like years. “Wow,” Gilda turned her leg over in the air. “How did you- Huh, not bad. This feels great.” Aloe smirked and tapped the bed with a hoof. “I would hope so, it’s been a while since I’ve seen somepony with knots like those. And I’m just getting started.” She snickered. “I’m guessing you have a lot in common with Miss Dash, hm?” Getting back to work, Aloe noted Gilda’s anxiety had already melted away. “If you mean that we both enjoy a physical challenge and tend to steer clear of places like this, you’re right on the bits.” Gilda trailed off and let the mare do her work. She felt total bliss as years of abuse to her body seemed to evaporate under the professional’s magic hooves. “I see, you two must be close friends then,” Aloe suddenly spoke up and reminded Gilda that she was in the presence of others. “So what about your visit is so complicated?” she asked, enticing Gilda to continue talking. Gilda snorted, then sighed contently. “Well... I doubt you would believe me if I told you.” “That doesn’t mean I won’t listen,” Aloe assured her. Gilda considered this for a moment, humming thoughtfully with her eyes closed. “Nah,” she muttered after a moment. “No offense, but I think I’d rather just lay here and relax. Talking about it isn’t really all that great, you know?” Aloe smirked. “Fair enough,” she consented, and continued on quietly. Minutes flew by as Aloe worked. She finished on Gilda soon enough, and paused only long enough to inform her she was getting started on Rarity. Gilda barely acknowledged Aloe’s comment as she slipped in and out of her calm daze. She managed to drift off completely only to be nudged back awake by Rarity in what seemed like no time at all. “Dear, it’s time for the hooficures,” Rarity urged Gilda from her nap. “Huh…?” Gilda responded blearily at first. “Oh, you’re done already?” Dash popped up beside Rarity, an amused grin on her face. “Yeah, Gilda, we are. You sure enjoyed yourself for somepony that would ‘never be caught dead’ in a place like this.” Gilda grumbled before sliding off the bed. “Not now, Dash. I’m feeling way too good for you to kill this mood.” “Excellent!” Rarity chirped. “Now let’s get our hooves done.” Gilda gave Rarity a wary look. “Do I have to remind you that I’m not walking around on these things by choice?” She picked up one of the appendages and gave it a mean look. “I’d like to skip any pampering that has to do with them, thanks.” “Oh no you don’t,” Rarity said sternly, her brow furrowed in a commanding look. “I already went to the trouble of getting a smaller package than normal in consideration of your discomfort for such events.” She put on a warm smile and a more jovial tone. “Besides, if I let you out of it, then Rainbow will think she can just leave, too.” Dash seemed offended at first, but eventually shrugged, despite the comment. “She’s probably right, there.” “Alright,” Gilda sighed. “But it doesn’t mean I have to enjoy it…” She proceeded to move to the next area, where Aloe and Lotus were waiting patiently to take care of their customer’s needs. Gilda was able to sit through the brunt of the hooficure with little squirming and no real complaints. She struggled once or twice when Lotus had to bore out a rock or two that had been wedged into her hoof, but other then that she did little to complain. Most of that had a good deal to do with the newly found respect she had for Aloe, Lotus and their job. When everything was said and done, Gilda was shocked at the difference it made in something as simple as standing up. “To think, you ponies deal with these things your whole lives…” Dash was stretching out and giving her hooves a few satisfied taps against the ground. “They’re not so bad when you’ve had them your whole life,” she replied nonchalantly. “I guess…” Gilda muttered. “You two could go on to the spa bath if you would like,” Aloe suggested, gesturing a hoof towards a steaming pool. “It is now warmed and ready for you.” “Oh yes, you girls go on without me, I’ll be along once my hooves are finished,” Rarity added in, admiring the shine of one of her newly polished hooves. Gilda looked in the direction of the large tub in question. “A bath?”  She could see the steam and from the water and felt a shiver go down her spine. “I think I’ll pass, thanks.” Rarity quirked an eyebrow at Gilda. “But it’s a special herbal bath! You’ll love it, and besides, we already agreed-” Dash interjected quickly, realization on her face. “I can’t believe I forgot that you hate water.” Gilda groaned and shook her head distastefully at the tub. “Really, Dash? You're just now remembering half of who I was?” Rarity seemed to come to the same understanding at that moment. “Oh, right. Griffons are half lion aren’t they? I suppose you might have a similar distaste for bathes the same as my dear wittle kitty cat, Opal-” she cut off in the middle of her cutesy description of her pet, as Gilda’s expression had slowly deepened into a frown. “Ahem…” Rarity cleared her throat and regained her usual composure. “As much as it might irritate you to remember, you aren’t quite your old self, Gilda.” She put on a knowing smile despite Gilda’s deepening glare. “And I’m not just talking about your body. From what I’ve heard, you’ve changed quite a bit from your last visit. Why don’t you give the bath a try? You might be surprised to find it feels different than you remember.” “Well, it’s not like I have a choice-” Gilda’s narrow gaze continued until Dash caught her off-guard by jabbing her in the side with one hoof. “Come on, Gilda,” Dash urged her. “Rarity’s right. Besides, the baths here feel great! Trust-” Gilda and Rarity were staring at Dash dubiously. The two of them surprised to hear such praise about something from the spa coming from the mare almost as adamant on avoiding it as Gilda was. “Uhh…” Rainbow mumbled, shrinking back from the stares and realizing what she had just done. “I mean…” “Rainbow Dash,” Rarity began with a mirthful expression and a questioning tone. “Am I to presume you’ve been coming here without me? All on your own?” Gilda still just stared, her mouth slightly agape. “Dash…?” “See ya in the tub!” Dash spat out before zipping off to the tub and and immediately jumping in. Gilda looked over to Aloe, hoping to gain some insight as to how much of the implications could be taken seriously. But much to the the mares credit, she feigned ignorance of any knowledge on the subject, only offering an innocent shrug. Looking back to Rarity, Gilda found her sharing in her confusion. The moment passed and they both devolved into a fit of giggles. “Alright,” Gilda conceded with a chuckle. “I’ll give it a shot, I guess…” “That’s the spirit!” Rarity cheered approvingly. “Now go on, I’ll be along when I’m finished.” Gilda rolled her eyes at Rarity before heading to the tub. Once there, she found Dash in the water with her back to her. Instead of following Dash’s example and jumping in, Gilda stared at the water reluctantly, hesitant to get her fur wet. “Why is the water green?” Gilda asked timidly, as if the water were toxic. “It’s just the herbal mix,” Dash responded a bit too quickly. Gilda’s stare caused her to stutter. “Uhh, n-not that I would know or anything… hehe." Walking up the stairs onto the platform that stood level with the pools edge, Gilda continued her staring contest with the water's surface. She poked it with a hoof timidly and visibly shuddered. “I really don’t think-” “Oh for the love of Celestia,” Dash groaned in frustration. A mischievous smile flashed across her muzzle before she inhaled deeply and dove under the water. “Dash?” Gilda called in confusion, searching for Dash’s form beneath the surface but to no avail. “What are you- GAH!” Rainbow suddenly burst from the water and grappled Gilda’s outstretched hoof, pulling her in before she could react. Gilda sat underneath the water for a few seconds, processing what had just happened. Wet wet wet wet! The thoughts echoed in her head repeatedly at first, but were soon replaced which a much more powerful thought. Dash is about to wish she hadn’t done that! After orienting herself, Gilda’s back legs kicked down against the bottom of the deep tub, forcing her upper half to emerge from the water with all the ferocity she could muster. The water splashed away from her as she unfurled her wings in anger, her face a look of complete anger, and her talon pointed at Dash in a show of intimidation. “Daaaaaash!” Gilda screamed. “When I get my claws on y-” Her eyes drifted down to the claw she was pointing at her friend. her wings slouched as her thoughts failed to comprehend what she was looking at. “C-Claws?” Gilda looked up to see Dash wearing an equally perplexed look. Her mouth was hanging open limply. She looked back down at her talon, and then to her other arm which adorned another one. They flexed and stretched experimentally under her scrutiny. As a final test that she wasn’t just seeing things, she brought one of them up to her face to feel for a muzzle. Instead, she found a familiar beak. “Dash…” Gilda began shakily, hopeful that the water on her face was enough to hide the tears welling up in her eyes. “Please… just please tell me I’m not hallucinating.” She looked to her friend who began shaking her head slowly. “N-No… I see it too.” Dash stammered as her expression slowly grew into a smile. “Gilda you’re…” She trailed off, as she noticed what the water failed to hide. “Crying?” “What?” Gilda asked, rubbing her eyes quickly. “No I was just-” Back over by Rarity and Aloe, the two mares had jumped when they heard Gilda’s outcry. They could see Gilda standing in the tub, but only her back. Between that and her wet matted fur, they couldn’t tell anything was out of the ordinary beyond the probability that Dash had pulled some kind of prank. Rarity huffed and rolled her eyes. “I swear, I can’t take those two anywhere…” Just then, a loud bang echoed into the spa accompanied by the sound of hooves galloping across tile. Lotus could be heard from the front desk, voicing her surprise. Everypony in the room turned to find Twilight panting in the entryway of the spa. Her mane was a disaster and she was wearing a proud smile on her face. “I’ve figured it out!” Twilight cried out triumphantly. “Where’s Gilda? I need to ask her if she went anywhere near the Everfree Forest before she left! If I’m right, then she’s dealing with a case of poison-” She stopped in her announcement when she found Gilda standing tall in the tub, and not a pony. “Joke?” Rainbow offered with a smirk from where she was wading in the tub. Twilight groaned and sank to the ground. “I go all night without sleep over this and you’re already cured…” She sighed and planted her muzzle against the ground so her words were muffled. “I should have listened to Spike and just gotten some sleep…” Gilda, grateful for the distraction, reeled in her emotions and jumped out of the tub. “Don’t sweat it, Twilight. I’m still glad you put so much time into helping me out.” Aloe finished detailing Rarity’s last hoof and looked over to Gilda’s soaked new form. She blinked a few times while she considered what she was seeing. Instead of a mare, stood what was obviously a griffon. “Am I to assume this is what you meant about your visit?” Looking over at Aloe and her surprising calm, Gilda shrugged and put on a wan smile. “Yeah, still think you would have believed me?” Aloe stared back blankly, humming to herself in thought for a moment over the question. “Nope,” she said simply, then backed slowly out of the room. Twilight got back onto her hooves with a tired smile. “I guess it doesn’t matter then. As long as you’re okay that’s good enough.” She turned to leave, but stopped when Gilda placed a talon on her shoulder. Meanwhile, Rarity was looking out into the hall, calling after Aloe if she was alright. “Look,” Gilda started when Twilight turned to face her. “It does mean a lot to me. So if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, just let me know.” She thought about something else to say, trying to avoid coming off as a big softy. “I think that I got a lot more out of my visit this time than just a cure for… What was that stuff again?” “Poison joke,” Twilight offered with a stronger smile than before. “It’s a blue flower that grows around the Everfree Forest.” She chuckled as she seemed to recall something. “Anypony that messes with it has a mean joke pulled on them, and I’m speaking from experience.” Gilda’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates when she recognized the flowers she was describing. “You mean this all happened because I…” She shook her head quickly, deciding no-one could ever know. “What was that, Gilda?” Dash asked from just beside her, wrapped up in a towel. “Nothing, I can’t say I remember anything about some blue flowers...” Gilda lied and averted her eyes. Suddenly reminded of her own soaked fur, she looked back at the trail of water she had made from the tub. “Whoops…” “That’s quite alright,” Lotus chimed as she stepped in from the other room. “We’ll take care of it...” She trailed off once she got a good look at Gilda. Staring blankly for the briefest of moments, she quickly turned to Twilight with her usual warm smile. “Twilight, is there something wrong with the bath?” “Nope,” Twilight assured her casually. “Gilda has always been a Griffin. I think she just had an accidental run in with a patch of poison joke.” “Oh, is that all?” Getting back to work as if nothing were amiss, Lotus hoofed Gilda a large towel in passing before she used another to soak up the trail of water. “You seem to have had a difficult experience lately, so just enjoy your day,” she told Gilda cheerfully. “You ponies are too nice for your own good. You know that?” Gilda commented with a frown on her beak. “Maybe, but a little kindness isn’t a bad thing, is it?” Twilight shot back, a smirk on her face. “No, I guess not,” Gilda conceded. “Anyway, can you think of anything I can do to make up for the trouble I’ve caused?” “Hmm…” Twilight pondered for a moment. “There might be something actually. Would you be willing to help me write a letter?” Gilda looked at Twilight a little confused. “A letter, really? That's it?” A short laugh slipped out from her, but she nodded in ascension. “Sure, Twilight. That sounds easy enough.” “Wonderful!” Twilight clopped her hooves together gleefully. “I’ll come looking for you later tonight then.” She turned to Rarity before asking her a question. “Are you still taking her to the boutique?” “But of course!” Rarity confirmed. “These recent events have given me a marvelous idea.” “Wait, the boutique?” Gilda asked dubiously. “But I’m not a pony anymore. You're not still planning on making me try on pony clothes… are you?” “No, I suppose I can’t do that.” Rarity sighed. Gilda let out a relieved breath. “Great, because-” “I have a much better idea in mind!” Rarity beamed brightly, and took a moment to appraise Gilda. “I think you’ll make a wonderful model for my new line of griffin designs!” Her hooves were already spread wide as she sized up her victim's dimensions. Gilda's jaw dropped open. “...What?” Gilda was standing stock still while Rarity continued to stitch away at the outfit she was wearing. This outfit made number ten on the list of outfits Rarity had converted to better fit a griffin’s form; with Gilda’s assistance, of course. Things had begun simply enough. After the spa, Gilda and Rarity had said their goodbyes to Twilight and Rainbow Dash. Dash had to leave so she could get to work on setting up rain clouds for the evening, and Twilight wanted to get back and straighten up the library after the disaster area it had become from her all-nighter research session. Once alone, they headed straight for Rarity’s home to get down to business. All of Gilda’s questions and doubts on what it was they would be doing were put to rest when Rarity pulled out the first dress. The first, horrible, cloth-made torture dress. Gilda’s measurements were recorded quickly before hours ticked by from one dress fitting to another. She had gotten through three whole outfits before she started fidgeting and groaning. It had gotten so bad around dress five, that Rarity was forced to warn Gilda of the danger of moving too much while she was handling a sewing needle. At outfit number six, Gilda found out that the danger was, in fact, something to be wary of. Outfit eight and nine were handled with much greater care by both parties. But when outfit nine was finished, Gilda let her mouth get away from her. “I can’t believe I’m wearing this…” Gilda muttered indignantly, just loud enough to be overheard. "I'm so tired of this, I'm literally ready to scream." Rarity chuckled while she plucked away a few stitches that were too restrictive against Gilda’s body. “It’s your own fault,” she informed her. “It was that kind of comment that got you into this position.” “Hey! That’s only half true…” Gilda said with a frown. Rarity raised an eyebrow at her, pausing in her work. “Oh?” “Yeah,” Gilda nodded confidently. “There were about a half dozen cupcakes that didn’t want me to win that race.” Rarity met Gilda’s straight face for a moment before they both began laughing. Rarity was forced to put her tools down because she couldn’t keep her magic focused for much longer. “Now, to be fair, that was just as much your fault as anything else.” Rarity informed her between giggles. Gilda choked back her own laughter before she answered. “Yeah, maybe,” she admitted. “But did you have to put me in a maid’s outfit?” Gilda frowned at the black and white maid’s uniform against the wall that she had been fitted for. She regretted her earlier wise crack about how ridiculous Rarity’s outfits looked. “Oh, you don’t like this one either?” Rarity asked with mock disappointment. “Well, I am sometimes called upon to make the nurse uniforms for-” “I think I’m fine, thanks,” Gilda assured her quickly. The front door of the shop alerted them both to Twilight’s arrival by the sound of its bell. She came trotting in with a pair of saddlebags and a happy smile. “Good evening, girls!” Twilight greeted them as she approached. “Hello, Twi-” Rarity began before Gilda’s greeting drowned her out. “Oh, thank sun butt. I thought you’d never get here!” Gilda cheered. She began giving Rarity a pleading look. Rarity held a narrow glare for a few seconds before sighing in defeat. “Fine, I suppose a break is in order…” she relented. But before Gilda could start cheering she added, “But you can’t take the outfit off. I’ll need to put in a few pins to hold it together where I’ve removed the stitching.” “Fine,” Gilda groaned, while Rarity pinned the outfit together with her magic. Twilight moved over to Rarity’s work desk and put down her bag. “Rarity,” she called to get her attention. “Would you mind if I used this table?” “Not at all,” Rarity replied, placing the last pin. “Just be careful moving my sketches aside.” In no time at all, Twilight cleared away just enough space for her quill and parchment. She dabbed the quill a few times in the ink and scratched out the words: Dear Princess Celestia. Gilda walked up beside her and gave the paper a glance. “Whoa, is this who we’re writing too?” She received a happy nod in reply. “Why? And why would you need my help?” Twilight’s smile widened. “It’s simple. Princess Celestia has tasked me with learning all there is to know about the magic of friendship. So, whenever I, or one of my friends, learn something new about it, I write her a letter detailing my findings.” Gilda gave her an askance look. “Are you serious?” “Of course!” Twilight responded, grinning. “That’s just…” Gilda was about to inform Twilight of how lame it sounded to her, but something about the look on her face gave her pause. A smile worked its way onto her own face once her thoughts settled on something she couldn’t argue with. That just isn’t how you treat your friends.  “You know what, it doesn’t matter. So you think I know something about friendship that’s worth sharing, huh?” “Well, that’s what I was hoping.” Twilight confirmed. Her head tilted to the side in thought. “With the last year you spent at home, and everything that’s happened in the last couple of days, I thought you might have learned something about friendship. You have been making a few friends since you got back, after all.” Gilda plopped down next to Twilight and started rubbing the bottom of her beak with her talon. “Maybe,” Gilda mused. “But I don’t know if you’ll want to hear it.” Twilight gave Gilda a serious look. “Now don’t say that. Of course I want to hear it.” “You’re sure?” Gilda teased her. “Yes!” Twilight exclaimed a bit too hastily. “You got it,” Gilda said with a smirk. “Twilight, you’re an egghead.” Twilight stared at Gilda for a few seconds. She blinked, trying to think of how that had anything to do with friendship. When she came up empty her eyes narrowed and she was about to retort, but Gilda saw this and held up a talon for her to remain quiet. “You’re an egghead,” Gilda repeated but this time continued. “You seem really smart, but you spend way too much time with your nose in a book.” She turned until she was making eye contact with Rarity, who was wearing her confusion plainly on her face. “Rarity, you’re a drama queen. You’re great at what you do, that much I know after the last couple of hours, but you overreact to just about everything.” Gilda let the words hang in the air as she considered what else to add. “And Pinkie is a spaz.” Twilight’s gaze wasn’t as irritated as before, or as confused. But it did show signs of both. “Thanks for the honesty… I think. But what does this have to-” “Getting to that,” Gilda cut her off. “My point is that, a year ago, I wouldn’t have given any of you the time a day. And the honest reason for why is, well, I’m a jerk.” She punctuated the last statement with a shrug. “But when I came back to Ponyville in the condition I was in, all of you were so quick to give me a second chance and help me out, even after I treated you all based on those things.” Rarity let out an uncomfortable cough. “Yes well, what are friends for?” “Exactly!” Gilda shouted, causing Twilight and Rarity to both jump. “We weren't even friends yet, and I would have never been friends with any of you, yet here I am now.” She pulled at the Maids outfit she was wearing and let out a dry laugh. “If someone had told you a year ago, that I would be back in Ponyville, making friends, would you have taken them seriously?” “I think I’m starting to get it,” Twilight muttered with her brow scrunched in thought.  “But it would be easier if you would explain.” “Let me spell it out for you then,” Gilda sighed. “And you had better not laugh.” She took in a deep breath and ordered her thoughts. “I think that friends can come from where you least expect them. Just because you meet someone you don’t get along with right away, doesn’t mean you automatically know everything that matters about them. And, if you’re willing to look past their faults, you might find they're someone you can not only get along with, but that they can be a friend you can depend on.” Gilda hadn’t noticed Rarity come up behind her until after she was done speaking. She and Twilight were smiling at her with mushy looks. Gilda’s eye twitched as they continued to look at her admirably. “Stop that,” she demanded. “You're creeping me out.” Rarity and Twilight looked at each other and began giggling. “Alright,” Twilight said after a while. “I think that’s a great lesson to write to Princess Celestia about.” She dipped her quill once again before she began scribbling across the parchment. “Cool,” Gilda said and turned to Rarity. “Can I have a glass of- I said stop looking at me like that!” Another bout of giggles escaped Rarity when the front door chimed again. “Hi Gilda!” Pinkie chirped. “I heard from Rainbow Dash that you were all better now, so I came by to…” She trailed off after her eyes landed on Gilda. Her mouth curled up into up into a huge, mirthful grin as tears began welling up in her eyes. Gilda looked over to see a happy pink pony bouncing into the shop. “How you doing, fuzz-wad?” she greeted. “I was just talking about you.” Gilda tilted her head at Pinkie in confusion, that is, until she remembered what she was wearing. The thought crossed her mind that Twilight hadn’t once made any comments or jokes about the outfit and she was impressed. But she doubted Pinkie would be as restrained. “Pinkie,” Gilda began warningly, her eyes narrowed. “Don’t even think about-” She snorted once and then Pinkie began to laugh… hard. She seemed to struggle to stay on her hooves as she alternated between giggle-snorts and raucous laughter, all the while tears streamed down her cheeks. Gilda’s eye twitched as Pinkie continued to bust a gut at her expense. “Stop that!” Gilda bellowed while stomping over to her. Pinkie noticed Gilda’s advance and backpedaled at an even pace, still laughing in the most out of control ways. “If you don’t stop,” Gilda started through her gritted beak. “I’m gonna make you eat that tail of-” “Pffffffbbbbtttt!” Pinkie let out a long raspberry, stopping Gilda’s threat cold. Gilda’s eye twitched again and her face began burning red. “That’s it!” she shouted before lunging for Pinkie. Rarity shrieked. “Not the dress!” She was ignored. Pinkie must have seen the attack coming, because she dodged her easily. She took off at a gallop out the front door, Gilda hot on her hooves. The two of them began a chase around Ponyville nopony would soon forget. And that only had half to do with the fact that there was a rampaging griffin chasing Pinkie around while wearing a fancy outfit. Rarity watched from the window of her shop and winced at the abuse that Gilda was putting her poor dress through. “Oh dear…” Even from there, she could see the seams pop from where they were held together by mere pins. Even after the two of them ran out of sight, Rarity couldn’t help but picture the state that the outfit would be in by the time it was over. She let out a sigh, mumbling, “I suppose this means that we’re done for the day,” and shook her head in disappointment. “I had so hoped to finish a few more…” Interrupting, Pinkie suddenly came sprinting back into the shop, and went straight for the stand that Gilda had stood on while Rarity worked. Gilda came barging in only a moment later, snarling. Her eyes locked on the mare she chased, then began a slow advance, sure that she had Pinkie cornered. “Pinkie… you're dead!” Twilight groaned. “Girls, please stop! Friends don’t fight like this! Right?” When Gilda came within arm's reach of Pinkie, ready to grab her and teach her a lesson, she got a surprise. Pinkie whipped around and fastened something to Gilda’s head. Gilda blinked a few times, stunned by the pony’s speed. Pinkie’s giggles had finally stopped, but she had a smugly content look on her face that wasn’t much of an improvement. “There, that’s much better!” Pinkie chimed spiritedly, giving Gilda an appraising look. “You looked plain silly without the whole ensemble!” Now grinning stupidly again, she pointed a hoof at a mirror standing off to the side. Gilda looked on reflex at her reflection, and saw a frilly bonnet now on her head. Something inside her snapped. A river of rage started to fill up Gilda’s chest as she sputtered for something to say, something to yell, something to do. And then it happened. For the first time in a year, Gilda roared.