//------------------------------//
// Chapter 7 - Memories 
// Story: My Second Chance 
// by Devious Brony 
//------------------------------//

	We walked beside one another, heading for a nearby hill that overlooked the entire town. When we reached the top, we stood there. I turned to look at Desire. "So what did you want to talk about?" I asked, now feeling somewhat uneasy. He didn't answer. I could see that his smile slowly faded.

"I'm starting to get emotions other than the ones I was born from, Joel." He said, turning his head to look at me. "You've noticed it too, haven't you? Fury and Sorrow are doing things out of their normal behavior."

This made me terrified, I haven't thought of it until now. Sorrow was acting brave by rushing into combat with me and Fury back in the Twisted Treeline. Fury even told me that he was starting to calm down and enjoy his time fighting as a team. My empty feeling began to grow. I realized what was happening.

My emotions were starting to become their own being.

"You know that you can't run away desire... Tomorrow near sunset we're all going to use a potion to bring things back to normal." I said, hoping he wouldn't resist.

"I'm not an idiot Joel. I know that you can't go on without me or the others." Desire said, now sitting down on the grass and taking his jacket off. "Can you just sit with me and listen to what I have to say? No interruptions."

I nodded and sat down next to him.

"Listen... Joel. You have ignored me for such a long time. The only times I can recall that you listened to me was when you wanted to be isolated, to play games and do nothing but eat. You just sat there in your own filth, fattening and never really doing anything with your life. I wanted us to go out and make something of ourselves. To find a job for us both, to find a true calling, to make friends, to find love. I have tried and tried again, yet you always stopped me." Desire said, losing his greaser accent around half way through his speech.

"Joel... We died in that car crash." Desire said, turning to look at me. My heart sank, I didn't want to hear those words. I stood up and took a step away from him.

"No... No no, you're lying... Y-You're lying!! I can't be dead! I'm alive damn it, I'm going to wake up any day now! I-" I screamed at him. He stood up and socked me in the face, hard. I placed my hand on my cheek, feeling the pain shooting through it. I looked at desire, who now had his fists up and ready for me to retaliate. He knew me too well.

I screamed in anger, charging at him and punching him hard on his chin. He took the blow, returning his own by slamming his fist into my chest. I stumbled back, which gave him a chance to charge at me and tackle me to the ground. He began to hit me, over and over again. After about the fifth blow to my face I was able to shove him off of me.

I wasn't an honorable fighter, Desire should know this. I lifted my leg up and shot my foot right into Desire's balls, knocking him over onto the ground as he cried out in pain. I stood up and walked over to his side. He rolled over onto his back to look at me just in time for me to start kicking him hard in his sides. Every kick sent a bolt of pain through his body, every kick would make him grunt in pain.

I began to tear up as I kicked him. At this point I didn't see Desire as my own emotions incarnate. I saw him as myself. Desire didn't move, he wanted me to vent out like this on him. When I was finished with kicking him, I made sure he was lying on his back. I got on top of him, straddling over his stomach and raising my fist into the air.

THWACK

My fist came down to strike him in his jaw.

THWACK

Another fist, this time hitting him just on his temple.

THWACK

My attacks never eased up. At this point I was crying without making any noise, aside from my screams of anger with every punch. My life began to flash before my eyes, I could remember so many things.



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| Joel: Age 10 October of 2003 |

I hated my teacher so much. This fat bitch had it out for me and always treated me like I'm a retard. About two months ago she had announced to her class that she was pregnant. Yes, she was THAT kind of teacher. She had been emotional through those two months, at least I think that's how pregnant women work.

My mother had told me that women become more sensitive when they become pregnant, so I would need to understand why she would get more angry at me than usual. Today she had come in all mopey and depressed. This made me excited to hear why she was so sad since I had hated her so much.

About half way through the day one of the kids eventually asked her why she was so sad, which she responded with "It's... Because I had a miscarriage." She said. You would think that a teacher should keep that much of her personal life to herself, but she treated her class as if it were her family. She never held back much about her personal life unless it was far too inappropriate. To her, talking about her pregnancy doesn't fall under the lines of "inappropriate."

"Maybe the baby was crushed under all that fat of yours." I said, getting gasps from the class and shocked looks. All eyes were on me this time, especially the teacher. Now I thought she would cry, maybe say something pathetic towards me. Instead she just stared at me for a long time, I mean it was long.

Everyone was looking between me and her, to see which one would talk first. All she did was clear her throat, sat at her desk, and continued on with her lesson.

| Five months later on March of 2004 |

I sat in my corner, not wanting to work anymore or deal with anyone. Only a month after insulting her miscarriage, which got me a scolding and a spanking from my parents of course, my teacher had convinced my parents to make me sit in the corner of the classroom. My part of the classroom consisted of a large desk that had walls on its side and back. It was designed to block noise out so I could focus on my work instead of the class.

It was nearing the end of 4th period and I had gotten done with a piece of homework that my teacher had forced me to work on. We had gotten into another fight, I couldn't remember what it was all about this time. I stormed out of the classroom, now being chased by the teacher. I sat outside in front of the school.

Everything in my mind was fuzzy, this flashback was something I had repressed quite a bit. All I can remember is that I shoved her, I knew it wasn't hard since I was only ten years old and she was a four hundred pound thirty plus year old woman. What I do remember clearly though was being taken to juvie, or "Juvenile Detention" is what it's called.

They had this balding police officer guy who had me strip down out near where the main entrance was. This area wasn't the larger juvie where they keep the kids locked up, it was just the smaller area where they first call the parents and check them for weapons and such.

I was scared shitless, the main entrance to the place was RIGHT THERE. I could see it if I turned my head, which he yelled at me when I did. I was crying, which didn't phase him. After patting me down with my clothes on, he had me strip in front of him down into my underwear.

I didn't want this, I wanted to go home. I wanted my mommy, I wanted my daddy, please come save me. He was touching me again, he was touching me someplace I didn't want him to. It didn't last too long but it was long enough to strike all sorts of fear into me. He had me dress back up and wait in a very small room where I sat and waited for my dad to get there.

When my dad got there I was able to walk out with him. I remained silent, I didn't want to remember anything about what happened today and I didn't want to talk to my dad about it. He forced it out of me of course, giving me a blank stare after I told him.

"Let's go get some Dairy Queen..." He said, making me nod.

| Two months later on May of 2004 |

I sat in the room that was just outside of the principle's office. I had another outburst this time, it was so bad that they had to remove furniture from the room and put the school cop in the room to watch me. I was yelling and taunting him, sitting there and glaring at him.

I didn't want to wear my shoes anymore, so I began to loosen them and kick them off. The first landed on the floor near the wall, but the second flew off and hit the metal heater that was lined up along the wall. The moment my shoe hit the heater it made a loud gunshot-like bang, which caused the officer to jump in fear and turn towards me.

He yelled something at me, something ticked in my mind. I was suddenly frightened of him, I was afraid he might hurt me or do something worse to me. I was afraid to go back to juvie because I made him angry, just like my teacher. I began to cry, pleading for mercy from him. I began to choke on my tears, not being able to breath normal anymore with the amount of fear in me.

I was able to convince him to let me talk to my dad over a phone so that I could stay calm. My dad talked to me over the phone, telling me everything would be fine and that he would be there to pick me up soon. Thirty minutes later, my dad came into the school. He was able to get me out of school so that I could go home. My father was very protective of me, and knew that I had developed a fear of police. He didn't want to punish me after what he heard from me over the phone. All he wanted to do was do his best to cheer me up by taking me to Dairy Queen.



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| Joel: Age 12 July of 2006 |

I finally was a part of something. I had joined the Sea Scouts just in time for a three day trip to a beach. They had two houses, one for the guys and one for the gals. It was night time on the first day, we were playing recon on the beach. The object of the game was to have two guys defend the flag while the other two crawled through the bushes to capture the enemy team flag.

I was a recon on our team, along with one of the older Sea Scouts. My partner was about 14 years old, so he seemed much taller to me. We had gotten to the part where there was a clearing, a small road that lead to the beach with more dried tall grass on the other side. My partner noticed a person, who I will remember as "King", and stood up. He had told me to stand up as well, which I did.

King, which I called because he ruled over all of the other Sea Scouts with an iron fist, and his two lackeys "Fatso" and "Shrimp" walked over to us. "Who's this?" King asked, looking at me after taking the cigarette out of his mouth.

"You know, I don't think you should be smoking." I said, getting a laugh from King and his lackeys.

"Listen kid, you do what we say. We run the scouts here, so don't tell me what I can and can't do. Got it?" He said. I can't remember much after that, only that he was about to beat me up before my partner told him that I was stupid and new. King had agreed not to beat me up this time and walked away.

I asked my partner why he was such an asshole, which he told me about how King is the leader because he is the strongest one around. Typical.

The second night, we all had crab for dinner. After eating we had headed up to our rooms. We talked, told stories, joked and laughed. It wasn't until one of the kids heard someone coming upstairs. "Pretend you're asleep!" He said, which caused all of us to get in our beds and pretend to sleep.

King and his lackeys walked into the room. I took a peek, now relaxing since I saw that it wasn't one of the adults. Everyone remained "asleep" though, as if king was just as much of a problem as the adults were. He walked around, putting hot Cheetos into different kid's mouths and pouring bottled water over their heads.

Nobody moved when they were picked on, only remaining still. I spoke up. "You know, you shouldn't be doing that." I said, catching King's eye. He walked over. Fatso was sitting on his own larger bed, while Shrimp stood next to mine.

"Oh yeah? What are you going to do about it." He said, giving me a toothy grin. I simply told him that the adults would punish him, which caused him and the other lackeys to laugh at me. Things went somewhat blurry here in my head, I don't quite remember what we had talked about, but it lead to your mom comments.

"I bet your mom is this big fat whore." Shrimp said, getting a laugh from King and Fatso.

"Oh yeah? I bet your mom is addicted to crack, having to suck dicks for money to pay for her drugs." I said, getting an angered look from Shrimp. Shrimp took a few steps back and charged at me. Everything went slow motion for me. He leaped into the air, both his feet aiming for my head. He hit my head with enough force to make it feel like someone was smacking the palm of their hand against my head just to annoy me, causing Shrimp to fall flat on his back.

"Well, that was pathetic" I said as Shrimp stood up, taking deep breaths. Little did I know at that time that his mom really was a drug addict. King sat up from the chair that was in front of my bed.

"Get up." He said, causing me to look at him. "I told you, get up." He said calmly. I obeyed  and stood up, opening my mouth to say something.  He swiftly punched me in the mouth, causing me to fall on my ass on the bed. It didn't hurt, it just shocked me is all. It was surprising really, someone who's supposedly "the strongest sea scout around" isn't strong enough to hurt someone when he punches them in the mouth.

It didn't help him when I went full retard mode and yelled in anger at him. I stood up from my bed, rushing past him and picking up the chair he was sitting in. Both him and Shrimp ran over to Fatso, jumping behind him and on the bed to use him like a meat shield.

I stood there, staring at him. I knew that when I went into full retard mode like this that I couldn't control myself. For once I was able to listen to a voice in my head and ignore every desire I had to kill him with this chair. The adults busted into the room, asking whats wrong.

Everything went fuzzy again, I didn't remember everything. I remember setting down the chair, having conflicting thoughts about hurting someone, crying and getting in my dad's truck to go home. I told him everything once I was able to calm down. Dad gave me a smile, telling me that he was very proud that I never hurt anyone and that I stood up for all those other kids.

Guess where he took me, just guess... You'll never believe me in a million fucking years. Spoilers: it's Dairy Queen.



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| Joel: Age 13 August of 2007 |

I hate school so much... Why am I even here? Oh yeah, because they want me to make a friend. Who's this "Harold" guy anyways? They said I could get along with him. I guess I could use the friend, since I'm still a freshman. I sat at a table in another classroom that I don't usually eat my lunch at. The door opened just as I got my lunch out. The boy who walked in sat at the table I was sitting at.

He had orange hair. He was tall, slender, kind of scrawny armed. Reminds me of a ginger version of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. I sat at the table with him, getting my lunch out from my backpack.

"Are you Joel?" He asked, getting a nod from me. "I'm Harold."

We sat there and ate our lunches in silence. After around 15 minutes of silence Harold looked over at me. "Do you play Yu-Gi-Oh?" He asked, getting a nod from me.

"Yeah, but I didn't bring my cards with me." I said, eating the last of my lunch.

"I've got 2 decks with me, wanna play?" He asked, now reaching into his backpack to grab the decks. I smiled and nodded. We dueled each other for the last bit of our lunch, coming back each day to play some more while we eat. I would bring my own cards sometimes and he would bring his.

After about only a week or two of visiting during lunch and sometimes after school, I had asked if he wanted to come over. He agreed to come over when his parents could pick him up. Coincidentally his mom drove right past my neighborhood when she was heading home from work, so Harold could visit every day.

For the first time, I finally had somebody that I could call a friend.



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| Joel: Age 17 June of 2011 |

This was it, I finally made it. Everyone had doubted that I could make it this far. But here I am, shaking hands with my principle as he handed me my high school diploma. After the ceremony I met up with my parents. They hugged me, congratulated me, told me how proud they were. At times I doubted that I could get this far.

I always struggled before in school, had to deal with trying to grow out of my disabilities. Four long years of trying to show everyone that my disability shouldn't hamper my success in life. Though my troubles have almost caused me to kill myself at one point, which got me expelled from school until I spoke with a therapist. I was only gone from school for a week after that. I knew that if I died, I would be leaving more troubles for others to deal with.

The only thing that's upsetting to me is that my friend, Harold, is going to go to some training school for landscaping. I wouldn't get anymore visits with him, at least until he finally gets out. Hopefully he keeps his promise to move in with me eventually.

| Joel: Age 20 May of 2014 |

Let's double check things. Harold has the spare key to our apartment, I have my phone in my car, I have my keys, wallet, GPS, gum and sticky note with a list of things to get from the store. I got into my car and drove off, heading for the grocery store. Along the way I thought to myself.

My birthday was coming up next month, I'll be turning twenty one. What am I going to do for my birthday? Where am I going to go for it? I know I'm going to get drunk as fuck since its my twenty first birthday. I wonder if Harold will get drunk with me, or even my sisters. What if- OH SHIT!

I swerved to the side to try and avoid a car that was crashing just in front of me. my car slammed against the side of it, causing my air bag to go off and stop me from getting hurt further. I heard the sound of a semi-truck's horn and turned to look at it. For just a second, I could see it heading straight for me. Crashing into my car... Crushing me to death.



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I stopped punching Desire two flashbacks ago. He sat there, staring at me. I shook my head softly and got off of him, sitting down on the grass once more. Desire sat up, grabbing his jacket that was nearby and putting it back on. He sat next to me as we both watched the sun set.

"You know that this isn't a dream, right?" Desire asked, looking towards me. I just sat there, staring out towards the town of Calmare.

"I refuse to believe it isn't... I just want to go back home. I miss my family, my friends... My world." I answered. "There's just some things I haven't gotten to do."

Desire placed a hand on my shoulder, looking back towards the town. "It's time to face the music Joel, everyone dies eventually." Desire said. He began to stand back up, reaching into his jacket and tossing a single rose on my lap. I picked up the flower before looking towards Desire. "You were just dealt a bad hand is all..." Desire finished, walking away from me.

I looked back at the flower, staring at it. "Why me..." I said to myself, tears streaming down my face and dripping onto the flower petals. "Why did I have to die... Why was I even brought here..." I began to grip the stem, letting the thorns puncture my skin and draw blood.

When I felt the sting of the thorns puncturing my skin, the tears streaming down my face and onto the ground, I knew I couldn't be dreaming. I could feel it all. No dream can be this real, not in a million years. I looked out towards Calmare, standing up and dropping the bloody rose.

I stood there, thinking about how I'll never get back my old life. How many people came to my funeral? How many people cried for me? What will Harold do without me there to help with rent? Why did I have to die? These questions filled my mind, along with hundreds of others. I couldn't think clearly, my body didn't move from that spot.

My mind finally cleared when one thought appeared in my head. What will you do with your new life? I cringed my teeth, took in a deep breath, and screamed as loud as I could out of anger. "I'm not going to waste my life like I did before!! I have a new life and I'm going to take full advantage of it!!"

I stood there until the sun completely set. When it was starting to get dark, I walked back towards town and headed straight for Sunny's place.