//------------------------------// // Chapter 7 - Hello, Goodbye // Story: The Foals of Harmony: Equestrian Rhapsody // by Rainy Meadows //------------------------------// So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye? So you think you can love me and leave me to die? Oh, baby Can’t do this to me baby Just gotta get out Just gotta get right outta here... There it was. Ponyville. He had seen bits of it when he had been in Dash’s house, but now it was time to get a proper look. It was a quaint little place – the sort of place for ponies to come from, not to go to – and a far cry from the classical columns and spirals of Cloudsdale, or the looming marble towers and cobbled streets of Canterlot. Not that Soarin’ was very taken in by the scenery, because he was so exhausted he was almost falling out of the air. Why hadn’t he waited until the morning to leave? Maybe the combination of salt and cider had somehow lowered his IQ. He needed a place to sleep – somewhere sheltered where there wasn’t any chance of Rainbow Dash finding him. That was a big damn tree... Too tired to dive properly, Soarin’ simply closed his wings and let himself fall (a stupid idea; he almost hit the ground) and then caught himself, before flapping up onto a sheltered window ledge and curling up, mustering his willpower for falling asleep. “Twilight?” “Hmph?” “Twilight, wake up!” The purple unicorn groggily forced her two-tonne eyelids open and glared accusingly at her assistant. “What is it, Spike?” she asked. “Isn’t it a little early to be getting up?” “Well, I just got up,” Spike explained, “and there’s a guy on the window ledge outside.” “Come again?” “There’s a guy on the window ledge!” Twilight forced back her bedcovers and lifted herself off the mattress. She examined all the windows there were... ...and yes, there WAS a guy on the window ledge! The same window ledge where Spike had been sitting jealous when she had first shown Owlowicious to her friends. We’ll see about that. She opened the window and screamed “COMFY?” Talk about a rude awakening! The stallion leapt into the air in shock, wings and legs stiff as planks, and again almost hit the ground before he recovered, and hovered just outside the window. “What the hell?” he demanded. “What did you do that for?” “I think I should warn you that I am the personal student of Princess Celestia,” said the purple unicorn who had awakened him, “and I do not take kindly to perverts, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” “What? I’m not a pervert!” shouted the stranger. “I was just looking for a place to sleep and your window seemed like the best bet! I didn’t even know anypony lived here, okay?” “Get outta here!” Soarin’ completely lost his focus: he fell right off the ledge and crashed to the ground. Next thing he knew, another pony was leaning over him. This one, like the other, was a unicorn – a young one, not quite a stallion but older than a colt – with a terracotta coat, brown hair and quite possibly the greenest eyes the Wonderbolt had ever seen. Seriously man, they were just-just green. Greenness intensified. It was like they went right through green and out the other side into some sort of ultra-green. Even though the guy was wearing glasses, they were just so... GREEN. “Peepin’ Tom, eh?” he said in the strangest accent Soarin’ had ever heard. “I think I should warn you; that girl in there knows more magic than you could ever know, so if you perv at her again you’re gonna smegging regret it.” “I’m not a perv!” Soarin’ shouted. “I just needed a place to sleep for the night and I was exhausted!” “Then why not sleep on a cloud?” “It gets cold on clouds! They’re made of water, for crying out loud!” The unicorn looked considerate for a moment. “I guess that makes sense,” he said, and held out a hoof to help him up. “Name’s Hex, by the way, and that in there was Twilight Sparkle.” “What’s her problem?” asked Soarin’. “She can be very... insistent,” Hex explained. “Why were you so tired as to have to sleep on her windowsill? What were you, flying all night or something?” “Something like that,” said Soarin’. “I came to Ponyville to look for somepony.” “Who?” “You’re probably heard of her – a mare named Rainbow Dash? Though she probably won’t be very happy to see me; it’s been four months, after all.” Hex stared at him for a moment, apparently working something out. Then he punched the pegasus in the face and sent him flying to the ground for the second time in as many minutes, this time with a small trickle of blood leaking from the corner of his mouth. He wiped it away and said “What the hell, man? Why did you just punch me?” “You really want me to tell you?” Hex shouted. “She was crushed when you left – heartbroken! It was two whole months before she actually spoke to anypony again! And that’s not the half of it.” “You know her?” “The smeg I do!” He telekinetically grabbed Soarin’ and dragged him up to eye level. “Now listen you smegging dick,” he said. “You’re gonna find Rainbow Dash, and you’re gonna set things straight with her. And you’re gonna do that ASAP, you hear me?” He froze. Soarin’ froze. Both young stallions looked around. Even though it was early in the morning, there were still ponies in the street. And every single one of them had stopped what they were doing, and were staring at the unicorn and pegasus in alarm. “Um...” Hex said slowly. “This... isn’t what it looks like...” This didn’t do anything to deter the staring, so Soarin’ found himself dropped to the ground and had to pick himself up, and not long afterwards everypony stopped staring, much to the two colt’s relief. “Look,” said Hex. “All I’m saying is that it wasn’t a very good idea for you to abandon her like you did. You should make things right with her as soon as possible if not sooner. And...” he gave a small smile. “Let’s just say you’ll be in for a surprise.” “Huh? What kind of surprise?” “Ah ah!” The brown unicorn tapped his muzzle knowingly. “Spoilers, my friend. Spoilers! Even though the readers of this fic found everything out in the previous chapter.” “What?” “Never you mind.” Soarin’ walked through Ponyville deep in thought. He hadn’t expected a warm reception. How could he? The population of Equestria were all used to seeing Soarin’ the Wonderbolt, Soarin’ the alcoholic, Soarin’ the closeted salt addict. The only way anypony could recognise him was when he wore his flight suit – his skin-tight, uncomfortable flight suit which tore when he so much as lifted a hoof and chafed like nothing in the world. All he had was his flight goggles, although they were admittedly rather conspicuous. Pegasi rarely saw the need for eye protection, but that was probably because they never- “OOMPH!” ‘Dammit, why didn’t I look where I was going?’ Soarin’ thought. As he picked himself up, he got a good look at the pony he had crashed into. It was a mare, about the same age as him if not a little younger – a unicorn with a pure white coat and a painstakingly styled mane and tail. Her cutie mark was a trio of fancy looking diamonds, not unlike the glimmering jewels which were now scattered all over the ground and spilling out of her saddlebags. “Oh man, I’m so sorry!” he said, and started to gather them up. “I should’ve been looking where I was going – I’m such an idiot!” “Oh no, that’s quite alright!” said the mare in a fancy accent. “I was just gathering these gems for an ensemble I have to finish. And I would have had to if that silly sister of mine hadn’t created that ridiculous picture of hers, and- oh my goodness, what IS the matter with your mane?” Soarin’ forced his eyes upward, trying to get a look at his swept back hair. Try as he may, he couldn’t even see his fringe, let alone anything else. “It’s... messy?” he tried. “Not just messy, my dear!” The mare produced a mirror out of... somewhere. “Why, that has to be one of the worst kept styles I have ever laid my eyes upon. And trust me when I say that I have seen some simply despicable manes in my lifetime!” Soarin’ studied his own reflection for what could have been a lifetime, but failed to find a single fault in his hairstyle. All the Wonderbolts had their manes like this – it wasn’t supposed to be a rebellion against fashion, it just got blown that way because of all the flying! When you’re travelling at almost the speed of sound you don’t waste time worrying about what your hair’s gonna look like when you’re done – well, maybe the mares would, but that was totally beside the point! “Um, well, thanks for the tipoff, but I really have to get going-” “Darling, something must be done about your TERRIBLE coiffure,” said the unicorn, producing a hairbrush from... wherever, “and I refuse to take no for an answer!” She advanced on Soarin’ with the brush prepared and a smile creeping across her face. Five seconds later... “OW! Hey, watch where you’re- YAH! That hurts! Why- OW, why are you being so- GAH so rough?! You’re- OWWWWW! You’re pulling my- youch my mane off! Please- OUCH! Please stop it!” “Oh for goodness sakes, my dear, could you try not to be so melodramatic?” “But you- YOWW! I feel like- ah! Like you’re gonna rip- rip my skin off!” “Well, it wouldn’t be anywhere near as painful if you simply took a little more pride in your appearance.” Soarin’ quickly realised that there was no way he was getting out of this situation unbrushed, so he sat on his haunches and let this unicorn he didn’t even know brush his mane for him, keeping a frown firmly fixed on his face for the entire duration. Finally, after what could have been an eternity, she was finished, and held up the mirror for him to see. “Finished!” she sang. “What do you think?” He stared. And stared. And stared some more. And when he was done staring, he started staring. His mane, which had once been untidily piled up on top of his head, now hung limply across the side of his face and down the back of his neck. It was the same mane style as his future self had possessed, but if he wasn’t going to look like that for seventeen years then surely he had no reason to worry. But still... “Um,” he said, “it’s... new.” “I must say that it looks rather befitting,” the unicorn said proudly, “and dare I say that you do look wonderfully handsome. I just know your lady friend is going to love it!” “I don’t have a lady friend,” Soarin’ admitted, and quickly added, just in case; “But I hope to have one! P-pretty soon, actually, so I’ll be on my way! Er... thanks, I suppose?” He grinned in what he hoped was a grateful fashion and hurriedly turned around with the intention of winging it. “Just one moment.” ‘Aw horseapples,’ Soarin’ thought, ‘here it goes!’ “You do look extremely familiar,” said the mare. “Are you some kind of celebrity by any chance?” “Um... no,” said Soarin’. “You must, uh, have me confused with somepony else. Gotta fly!” And he zoomed into the air before she could say anything else. Dammit, he forgot to ask where Rainbow was! He flew up into the sky and sat down on a cloud. Right now, Soarin’ was only sure of these particular things: - He had been inexplicably visited by himself from the future: an extremely badass himself from the future (although he would have preferred to have seen both eyes, because only seeing one was rather disconcerting) - His future self had told him he had to go back to Rainbow Dash, because apparently she needed him more than he could imagine - And he still loved her. He lay down on the cloud and tried to think. Maybe it was just salt withdrawal, but he was really starting to get tired. What time had he gone to sleep last night? It had definitely been some time in the morning – maybe 1am if not 2am – and when the hay had he woken up? Aside from the random grooming from that mare – which had taken absolutely AGES now that he thought about it, so long that he had completely missed breakfast – he was a mess. Not just on the outside, but inside as well. His mind was a warzone; on one side, presumably his better side, was the part that was still crazy about Rainbow and wanted him to spend the rest of his life with her – the other side was the great big red arrow that pointed right back to Cloudsdale, and more specifically to his home, at the stash of salt and hard cider under his bed that he hadn’t touched for months. The cider would probably have gone flat by now, and maybe even have leaked into the salt. Soarin’ dreaded to think what both of them combined would do to him so he tried his best to forget- -wait a minute. What. Was. That. SMELL? He inhaled deeply, his nostrils flaring as the mind-numbingly spectacular scent seeped its way in and drew him off the cloud. It was coming from the apple farm down below. He followed his nose, and it led him to the farm house, where a familiar looking orange Earth pony was setting a pie on a window ledge to cool (even though seriously: who DOES that anymore?). Maybe... Maybe he could just snatch it and fly away. Surely nopony would miss just one pie, right? No! His future self told him he quit pie! Then again, that wouldn’t be him for at least seventeen years... “Likin’ the smell?” “EEEK!” He cowered on the ground with his hooves over his head, terrified that he had just been caught about to steal this mare’s pie. But she was... laughing? “Well, ain’t you just a big ol’ scaredy pony?” she said in a Southern accent. And it definitely wasn’t a mare – at least, not quite yet. “I’msosorry!” Soarin’ jabbered. “Iwasn’tgonnastealyourpie! IjustmissedbreakfastandIwasreallyhungryand-” “Simmer down, Sally!” said the mare. “Y’all are gettin’ yerself in a flap fer no good reason. Ah’d be happy ta let you have the pie!” It was this particular sentence that made Soarin’ perk up considerably. “Really?” he asked. “Yep!” said the mare. “It’ll be four bits.” Oh horseapples. “Um...” “What’s the problem? Ain’t got no money?” “Well, see...” “Not to worry! Y’all can just work it off!” Soarin’ liked the prospect of not having to pay for the pie – especially since it was now past lunchtime and he was absolutely starving – but didn’t like the idea of having to work. “Um,” he said, “define ‘work it off’.” Applebucking. So... much... applebucking. Soarin’ hadn’t even known the word existed up until now. And he didn’t see why a whole new word had to be invented just to describe it! All you did was buck a tree, for Celestia’s sake! That mare – she had said her name was Applejack or something, a name hauntingly similar to the cider which had landed him in Rainbow’s hooves in the first place – had yet to tell him to stop. She’d disappeared not long after, apparently setting up some race thingy for tomorrow. The sun was setting, for crying out loud! He’d been out here kicking trees for hours! Surely he’d done enough to pay for that pie by now... hadn’t he? Here she came. And she was laughing. “Y’all look like ya could drop dead any second!” she said. “Funny,” said Soarin’, voice quavering from exhaustion, “’coz that’s... exactly... how... I feel!” And she just laughed some more. This was downright humiliating. “It’s okay!” she said eventually. “You’ve done more than enough to pay fer that pie. Thank ya kindly, er... Ah’m sorry, Ah din’t catch yer name.” Now here was a conundrum. On the one hoof he could lie, and give her a fake name – that nickname his teachers had given him when he was a kid would make a good substitute – but on the other hoof he could just tell her the truth and get it over with. “Soarin’,” he said, opting for the second choice. “It’s Soarin’.” The look on Applejack’s face was absolutely classic. “The Soarin’? Of the Wonderbolts?” “Yeah, but don’t tell anypony, okay?” “Ah swear Ah won’t, but oh mah goodness!” She was beyond shock and into full blown disbelief. “If mah friend Rainbow Dash were here she’d be over the moon by now!” “Wait a sec,” said Soarin’. “You know Rainbow?” “Uh, sure,” Applejack said sceptically. “Why do you ask?” ‘Oh horseapples, what do I say now?’ he thought desperately. ‘Do I just tell her I’m the colt who broke Rainbow’s heart, or do I tell her the whole story from scratch, or both?’ “I...” he said. “I’m the guy who-who broke her heart.” Applejack’s expression of confusion was quickly transmuted into one of comprehension, and then to one of anger. “You’d better explain yerself before Ah call mah brother out here,” she growled. So Soarin’ told her everything. He started with the evening of his ninth birthday and finished at the night he left. By the time he was finished the sun had completely set – the farmer’s expression, over the course of his story, had gone from anger to sympathy, and then from sympathy to shock and back to sympathy again, finally became the face of understanding. “Ah-Ah’m so sorry,” she said. “Ah guess... Ah guess if Ah were you and everythin’ you’d gone through happened to me, then Ah woulda done exactly what you did.” Soarin’ smiled. “You have no idea what that means to me,” he said gratefully. “But ya still broke Rainbow’s heart,” Applejack said firmly, “and Ah can’t bring mahself to forgive ya ‘til you set things right with her.” He nodded and said “That’s what I plan on doing. I’ll see you when I see you.” And with that, he flew up into the clouds, found one that looked particularly comfy and settled down on it. So how was he supposed to go about it? He definitely couldn’t just go over to her house and expect to be let in, and there was no way he could approach her on the street. Would she even be on the street? This was all too much, and he was just too tired to think about it properly. He rolled over, pulled part of the cloud over his head, and seconds later fell into a record-breakingly deep slumber. Pain. So much pain. He felt like every part of his body was on fire. Forcing his two-tonne eyelid off his eye, he examined his surroundings and found himself in a cold, dark cave, the only light coming from the tiny window in a thick metal door in front of him. He was lying on the floor, curled up a foetal position, most likely because of the pain in his abdomen, where it was the worst. It felt like he had been bucked in the stomach repeatedly for hours on end, and punched in the face at the same time. He had never felt more horrible in all his life. Right here, right now, Soarin’ wanted to die. The door opened and two frighteningly large ponies threw a third smaller one into the cave before slamming the door shut again. The light fell upon the tearstained features of Rainbow Dash, and Soarin’ was horrified to see her beautiful face covered in cuts and bruises with a black eye and a bloody tear in one of her ears. She dragged herself over to him and wrapped her forelegs around his body. He winced in pain, but returned the embrace, and felt her shoulders shaking as she sobbed into his chest. “I don’t know if I can do this much longer,” she wept. “How long have we been here?” “I... I don’t know,” Soarin’ responded. “A few days, maybe a couple of weeks?” “What if nopony comes for us?” asked Dash. “Nopony knows where we are. Do you think... Do you think they’ll kill us?” “No,” Soarin’ tried to sound reassuring, “no they won’t. Twilight, the others, they’ll find us long before then. We’re gonna be okay, I promise. We’re gonna be okay!” “Do you... Do you Pinkie promise?” She looked into his eye, fresh tears gathering in her own. “Cross my heart and hope to fly,” said Soarin’, “stick a cupcake in my eye.” He touched a hoof to the empty hole on the right side of his face. Then he hugged her tightly, feeling her sobs and tears running down his chest, and did nothing to hold back as he himself began to helplessly weep. When he woke up, it was dark. The moon was hanging overhead in a star studded sky. He couldn’t have asked for such a peaceful night as tonight. But that dream... It was just a dream, right? Right? It had felt so vivid, so... so real. He remembered the cave, feeling more pain than he could have thought possible, and a hole where he was pretty sure his right eye should have been. Was that why Future Soarin’ had worn his mane over his face like that? Was that a vision of the future? Was he going to one day find himself and Rainbow battered and bruised, held captive by an unknown enemy, and secretly longing for death? He shivered in horror. Wait a sec... There was talking going on down below him. He detangled himself from the cloud and looked carefully, so as not to be seen, over the edge at what was going on. He could make out two thuggish looking stallions, one standing back with a hoof over his muzzle and another pinning a mare to the cloud. It was Rainbow Dash. She was just as beautiful as ever, if not even more so than the last time he had seen her. Sure, it looked like she had gained a little weight, but that was beside the point. He had finally found her. And Future Soarin’ had been right: she did need his help. It was now or never. “HEY!!” That was then. This is now. Soarin’ was the first to awaken from a thankfully dreamless sleep. He lifted a hoof to his face, shielding his eyes from the bright sunlight, and it was then that he remembered where he was. He looked down, and saw her. She had yet to awaken. She was so adorable when she was asleep. Was it any wonder that he had fallen in love with her? His eyes travelled south, coming to a rest on the small bulge in her abdomen. “Hey,” he whispered. “Anypony in there?” Naturally, there was no answer. “It’s me,” he said, gently placing a hoof on Dash’s stomach. “It’s your dad.” Still nothing. He felt like a complete idiot, but then again, he also felt like this was something he should have done a while ago. “Listen, kid,” he said. “If I had known about you – if somepony had told me you were in there – I would never have left your mom. I would have stayed with her and never left her side if she needed me. But it’s okay. We’re back together now. The three of us; we’re... “We’re gonna be a family.” And he could have sworn, at the mention of the word “family” something pressed against his hoof. For the umpteenth time in as many hours his eyes started to water uncontrollably. “Soarin’, are you... are you crying?” Dammit, she had woken up! “I think the kid just brohoofed me,” said Soarin’, and he and Dash sniggered. “I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t the most adorable thing I’d ever seen in my whole life,” she said. “You’re right: we’re going to be a family.” There was a pause, during which the pegasi simply smiled at each other. “HI!” Poor Soarin’ almost leapt out of his skin in fright as something pink erupted through the surface of the cloud. But it was okay, it was gone... ...for less than five seconds. “Hello!” it cried, popping up once more, and then “Hi Dashie!” as it came up for a third time. Dash smiled. “Hey, Pinkie Pie,” she said. “What’re you doing out here?” “Oh, I’m just really happy!” said Pinkie. “Know why? ‘Coz the author let me have some dialogue! Isn’t that great, Dashie?” “What the hay is she talking about?” asked Soarin’. “I do not have a clue,” Dash admitted. “Who’s your friend?” Pinkie asked, again exploding through the cloud. “Oh my gosh! Is that Soarin’? From the Wonderbolts?” “Yes,” said Soarin’, confused as to where that bouncing noise was coming from, “yes I am.” “OHMYGOSH!” Pinkie shouted. “You know what this calls for...?” She disappeared below the surface of the cloud yet again; yet again there was a bouncing noise and she popped up, this time with a cry of: “A PARTY!!!” “No, Pinkie!” Dash said quickly. “You can’t tell anypony Soarin’s here, okay? Just bring the girls and Hex to the library and we’ll introduce him there.” “Sounds good to me!” cried Pinkie. “See you in the next chapter!” And with that she stopped appearing in the cloud. Soarin’ looked down and saw her dragging a trampoline away to Celestia knows where. “Who the hay was that?” he asked. “Just Pinkie,” said Dash. “She called you Dashie.” ‘Dashie’ blushed. “Oh, hey, I almost forgot,” she said. “Forgot what?” Soarin’ suddenly found his head pulled forward as the spectral haired speedster locked her lips with his. It was, by far, the most loving, passionate kiss that any two ponies could have share. Soarin’ wrapped his hooves around her body, holding her as close as he possibly could, and when they broke apart for sheer lack of breath Dash had a mischievous glint in her eye. “That,” she said, smiling. “That’s what.” She punched through the cloud and fell into the air, loop-de-looping around and hovering just above her lover. “Come on,” she said, “I’ll take you to the library and you can meet my friends.” And with that, the two pegasi flew together, out of the cold clutches of loneliness and despair, and into a new day which yielded togetherness, loyalty, and love. NEXT TIME: A Thousand Miles “Are you sure this is a good idea?” “Relax, it’s bound to work. It’s me, isn’t it?” “Okay, Mister Techno, where in Equestria are we?” “Twilight, something tells me we aren’t in Equestria anymore.” “How do you know?” “Look at your hands!” Author's Note: Hopefully I can write this without Pinkie adding her commentary this time. As usual, for her there is a revolving door in the fourth wall. Hex should know: he's the one who installed it! I'm really pleased with the reception this story has received, by the way. Your comments appease me- sorry, slipping into insane ruler mode there. ...