“Geeyyuck!” Trixie spat.
Trixie immediately ran over to the small bathroom in her caravan, soaked her face with water, and scrubbed her face hard using a washcloth. Whatever that...that...THING was on the other side of her portal was crazy! She didn’t even have time to say a word before it screamed and reached for a stick with a rubber bowl on the end of it and smashed it into her face.
The whole ordeal was terrifying. The frequent pulsing motions that creature applied to their foul-smelling weapon kept breaking her concentration as she tried to use magic to fling it away. It had taken her a few minutes to free herself from the assault and get her head out of the portal she had conjured.
And now here she was, scrubbing her face as clean as she could manage to get this horrible fecal stench off her face and out of her mane...and that’s when she saw it in the bathroom mirror.
Rather, she saw a LACK of a certain something she had always enjoyed wearing.
“My hat!” she screamed.
Panicked, she dashed out back toward the mirror and desperately looked around it, hoping that the hat fell off on her side during the struggle. It didn’t...which meant it was on the other side of the portal...with THAT creature!
Her gaze fell on the mirror again. The portal was still working! Maybe there was a chance that the hat was still on the other side, just within reach! However, as she put a hoof toward the portal, it suddenly closed.
Trixie’s face was a mixture of shock and heartbreak. That hat was very special to her...and there was no way she wasn’t going to get it back!
She immediately tried casting the spell on the mirror again, but failed as a few sparks merely fizzled out from her horn.
She cursed herself for a minute or so before she sat down on her stool and waited. She would need a few hours at most to restore her magic reserves enough to cast the spell again...and wait she would, as long as it would take.
------------------
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
My hand lazily fell on the alarm clock, turning it off. The time was 7:00 AM.
“Ugh...I feel like garbage,” was the lone thought that started off my day.
I slowly rose out of bed and slipped on a t-shirt and the jeans I wore last night at my party. I wasn’t too picky about the clothes I was wearing, since my thoughts hung on that weird dream I had last night...at least, I think it was a dream.
I needed to check my journal to be sure. I picked it up off the nightstand next to the alarm clock. Flipping through the pages, I came to my last entry...and there it was, that creepy entry where I saw a blue face in my trash can. Ack...I really wanted that to be a grand hallucination of some kind.
Maybe it still was, though. Heck, it could be even be one of my other dream journal entries. Yeah, that’s it! I’m still not crazy!
...well, that was my thinking until I decided to check my bathroom again, to dispel any and every notion that whatever happened last night was a fantasy. There, sitting on the counter just above the haunted trash can, was the same magician’s hat from last night.
I reached for it tentatively, desperately wanting to believe that it was just a figment of my silly imagination. That notion shattered in front of me as I felt the silky purple fabric on my fingers. Agh, so last night really did happen after all.
I furrowed my brow attempting to process this. This hat HAD to have come from that blue creature from before. I don’t even know where that thing went...OR how it got here, but if this hat belongs to it, it will definitely come back for it. Don’t ask me why or how I know, it’s a gut feeling.
Wait...maybe if I just put the hat back in the trash bin, that thing might leave me alone! YES, a perfect, flawless plan! It’ll just take the hat and leave! It’s not like it would want to stick around after my first assault on it, anyway...right?
I grabbed the hat and threw it in the trash can...and then I heard the familiar sound of a garbage truck rolling down the street, collecting trash cans as it began its route.
I panicked. I completely forgot today was trash day! Without thinking, I scooped up the tissue paper and toilet paper rolls that spilled out from last night’s event, put it all in the trash can, and quickly brought it out to a larger trash can I had set up in my kitchen. I dumped the contents of the smaller can into the larger one, then hastily tied up the plastic garbage bag inside before bringing it out to the curb for pickup.
I dusted my hands off as I gave the bag to the trash collector, entered my home again...and then it hit me. The hat was in that trash bag.
As if to signal my impending doom, I heard a voice come from the small trash bin I left in the kitchen as soon as I shut the front door.
“Hello? Is somepony out there? Trixie promises she won’t hurt you.”
"God, if you’re there...give me a sign. Give me a sign that says there’s still some miniscule chance I’m dreaming all of this. Barring that, give me a sign that tells me that I won’t die after confronting that blue face after I just lost its hat."
Nothing responded back...as usual. Great...just perfect. I’m flying solo on this one.
I slowly crept up to the kitchen, noting that I could see nothing as I approached the can, just like last time. This feels like some cheap suspense build-up from a horror movie now that I’m aware my trash can is haunted.
I briefly considered getting another weapon as well. Maybe the plunger again, that seemed to work well last time. However, I thought better of it, instead opting to be diplomatic. They sounded nice and forgiving, anyway.
It then hit me that I just understood that creature. It spoke English. Maybe this would go much better than I thought it would! Thus, I decided to respond back.
“What are you?” I asked.
“Trixie could ask you the same thing.”
...maybe not. They sounded snarky and had a sharp wit to match their callous tone...and they kept using what I presumed to be their name, “Trixie.” The voice was also feminine...and a bit whiny. This would get annoying so quickly, I could tell. So much for a friendly start...though to be fair, I reminded myself that our first encounter ended with me plunging her like my toilet after Taco Bell night.
I approached the can and looked down in it, and saw what looked like an angry blue face staring back at me. As soon as they saw me, they tried to pull their head back, but I showed my hands to them.
“I don’t have a weapon. I won’t hurt you...whatever you are.”
At this, she sighed, and for a moment I thought things would go much smoother from this point.
“Now, if you don’t mind me asking, what are you, and how did you get in my trash can?”
Suddenly she became rather boastful. “I am the Great and Powerful Trixie, a traveling magician pony! As for how Trixie got here, I cast a powerful spell that let me create a portal to your world.”
I blinked at her, completely confused by what I just heard.
“They’re a pony?! No, no way that’s true. I’ve SEEN ponies. They are not blue, they do not have gigantic eyes, and they certainly don’t have rounded faces like this thing does!” My thoughts objected.
“...although I DID see a snout at the end of their face that looked equine in nature, plus they had a hair pattern resembling a mane...and I was at least familiar with unicorns as one of the many mythological creatures referenced in fairytale books...WHAT AM I DOING? Why am I trying to reason that this thing is a pony?!”
I shook my head, and focused on the other important detail. They also made a portal that led to Earth by casting some spell. My rational mind told me this was already physically impossible...so I tried to humor her instead.
“Okay...hypothetically speaking, let’s say I believe you. You’re a pony, I’m guessing your name is Trixie, and through some ‘spell’ of yours you somehow bridged your world with mine.”
“Trixie would like to clarify that she used magic to cast the spell,” she amended.
Oh great, magic too. Of course there’s magic involved. My suspension of disbelief had already been stretched so far as to think she’s a pony, and beyond that a unicorn. Why not add magic into the mix and shatter any semblance of reality existing as I know it? Heck, to anyone else right now I’d look like a crazy person talking to a trash can. I ought to make a tinfoil hat and wear a ratty-looking jacket while I’m at it.
I sighed. “Okay, let’s say I believe that too. Why should I trust anything that’s coming out of your mouth? For all I know, I think I’m still dreaming.”
Suddenly, my body felt lighter as I was lifted into the air, enveloped in a sparkling pink aura. The horn on the pony’s head was glowing as well. It wasn’t difficult to make the connection that Trixie was using magic on me. I almost panicked and wanted to thrash around, but my limbs wouldn’t move, like they were all held down in vice grips.
I looked down at Trixie, who had a smirk on their face. “Satisfied you’re not dreaming now?”
My answer was quick. “Y-yep, definitely not dreaming. Please put me down.”
I’m not going to lie, that was absolutely terrifying. She effortlessly picked me up, and could probably fling me around like a ragdoll if she wanted to. However, she set me down, and I breathed a large sigh of relief.
“Now then, it’s your turn. Tell Trixie what you are and your name.”
I considered lying, but thought better of it after my “uplifting” experience ten seconds ago. “My name is Ian, and I’m just an ordinary human.”
“A ‘human’? Trixie does not know what a ‘human’ is, Ian.”
I grit my teeth. This was going to take a while to get used to.
“Well, humans are-” I began to explain.
She huffed. “I don’t care what a ‘human’ is anyway, what I WANT to know is where my hat is!”
Crap. She got right to the point I desperately wanted to avoid.
“...your hat?”
“Yes, my magician’s hat! The one that fell on THIS side of my portal, Ian!” she snapped.
“Right...well, I did find it.”
For the first time, relief was shown in her face. “Oh, thank goodness! Where is it?”
Oh, this was gonna hurt.
“It’s not here,” I stated.
In the span of three seconds, I believed that what I saw on her face was a whole life’s story worth of emotions. Shock, sadness, misery, anger...HATE.
I could only take a single step back before I realized I couldn’t move as she held me in that paralyzing magic glow again, dragging my face all the way down so it was almost touching hers in the trash can.
I could see my rugged face reflected in her spiteful gigantic eyes. If looks could kill, I should be dead right now.
“WHERE IS IT?!” she screamed point blank, causing my ears to ring out in agony.
“I-It’s gone! I accidentally threw it out with my garbage this morning and-”
“YOU THREW IT AWAY?!” I could feel the magical grip on me tighten even further.
“YES! I’m sorry! Please let me go! It’s starting to get...hard to breathe here.”
“Not until you promise Trixie that you WILL find her hat!”
“AGH! Yes yes, I will! I promise, okay?!”
Finally, I took a deep breath as her grip relented. "Note to self: This pony is nightmarishly scary when angry. Do NOT piss off again."
“Well? How will you get Trixie’s hat back?”
I thought about it for a moment and realized I had a good shot at getting the hat back after all. Maybe when I did, this whole situation would resolve itself quickly and she would leave me alone.
“I need to make some calls, Trixie.”