//------------------------------// // 9. *more cans.wav* // Story: True Capitalist Ponies: The Melting Pot of Magic // by Generaal //------------------------------// The revelation that Ghost just had witnessed made him cry beyond belief. The two doves didn’t notice it though and just went on with their daily business. But for Ghost it was now clear; he had to get himself and the Capitalist Army out of here as soon as possible – before they would all be indoctrinated and completely turned into fruity talking horses. Ghost quickly trotted back to where the apartment was. Just outside of it he saw Asho, Equestrian Citizen’s daughter and some other foals and fillies playing some fruity-ass game with a ball. But it wasn’t his intention to talk to them, he had to talk to some other people – real capitalists, who would aid him in his quest to first congregate and then make an end to their captivity in fruit bowl land. When he came inside he saw Equestrian Citizen, Suspicious Tumbleweed, the Engineer and a few other capitalists doing whatever they were doing. “Listen up, everypo... body!” Ghost said. That was a close one. I’m fruiting up already! “I have decided this is no place for capitalists like any of us! we have to get back home as soon as possible!” The other capitalists looked up, seeing the rambling stallion standing there in the doorway. “And why should we care, ma nigga? Why would we ever want to go back to Junkyard America?” Equestrian Citizen asked him. “Because… because I said so! Don’t you worry about that, brother-from-another-mother!” Ghost said. “We have to leave this place before every one of us becomes fruity! There is no other alternative!” “And… how why would you ever want to leave Equestria?” Suspicious Tumbleweed asked him. “Because it is sick! It is disgusting! I rather listen for three full hour’s non-stop to Alex Jones than spending one more day here!” Realizing what he just said, he quickly took his words back. “Forget I said anything!” The others chuckled. “So… you just want to leave Equestria?” Suspicious asked him. “Yes! I need to get out of here -and so do you- before any one of us gets fully fruity! For this place I have less respect than Sarah Palin’s glory hole as well as the nostrils of Cadence Cowgirl!” The outbreak of Ghost against Cowger wasn’t really expected but was approved of by the other capitalists. He was an idiot anyways, and the fact that even Ghostler could see that made them have more respect for him. “So, mah nigger, what is the big deal?” Equestrian Citizen asked him. “Just go to Princess Celestia and tell her everything, man! She’ll have ya out of here in no time!” “She is the one trying to get us all to fruit up, for ***** sake! I don’t trust her with anything!” Ghost yelled at him “We have to find somep… body else who is able to get us all back to Junkyard America before we all become so fruity that there is no way back!” Ghost panted for a little while, and then stared to each and every one of the capitalists. “So…” he finally said. “Who’s with me?” “Nja-ah-ah-aaagh!” the Engineer yelled at him. Ghost smiled. Perhaps there was some hope after all. Then he heard a few barks and a husky with sunglasses on joined him. 3 Capitalists are in…. me, the Engineer and Navyhusky. Ghost thought. He looked at Navyhusky. Don’t think just because you join me here that I will forgive you for those splices! Navyhusky was a bit confused by the looks that Ghost had given him, but he didn’t think too much of it. It was Ghost that stared at him after all. “I’m in!” he heard a joyful voice say in the door opening. When he turned around he saw that it was Asho. “Me too!” he heard another more feminine voice say. It was that daughter of Equestrian Citizen. What was her name again? Kecky of something? “Not so fast, Becky!” Equestrian Citizen intervened. “Ya can’t just go on a long journey like that!” “And neither do you, Asho!” Suspicious Tumbleweed told him, sternly. “Why do you do this? so you can escape school tomorrow?” [size=6pt]”Yes,” Asho mumbled. “Well,” Suspicious Tumbleweed said, “There will be nothing of that! You have your own responsibilities, young stallion, and…” “What about your responsibility?” Ghost asked her. “Huh?” both Suspicious and Equestrian Citizen responded, confused. “Look at them! Look at them!” Ghost yelled towards the two. “They are trying to be the masters of their own destiny, for ***** sake! they do better at capitalizing than either of you ever will! They at least understand what is at stake here, better than anyone of you!” The ears dropped of the two and they looked at the ground. Somewhere deep in their hearts they knew that Ghost was right. They thought they could have a simple life here in Equestria and that was somewhat true, but this… this is a whole different story. Ghost here asked them to take their own responsibility, something they seem to have lost when they became ponies. Perhaps they had become fruity after all? For both Suspicious as Equestrian Citizen this was very confusing, but they knew Ghost was right. It stayed silent for a moment. Ghost looked at them in the eyes, furious as always. Both Suspicious as Equestrian Citizen had their ears dropped and looked down. “All right, mah nigga” Equestrian Citizen finally said. “You’re right. I need to be a master of my own destiny. I will come along with you, for Becky’s sake.” “And I for Asho’s sake,” Suspicious said. she still wasn’t sure though if Asho wanted to go back to Earth because he wanted too or because he wanted to escape Ponyville because of school. “Pack up your stuff,” Ghost said. “We’re leaving at dawn.” He turned around and went outside. “And what are you going to do, mah nigger?” Equestrian Citizen asked him. “Safe as many as I can,” Ghost said. With ‘many’ he of course meant only Karasz Kun because that was the only capitalist important to him. The others he didn’t really care for, although he always tried to make them capitalists. The thanks he got for his hard work was always delivered in splices and transtesticle talk. Would Trisha be in this world? Ghost wondered, but he quickly realized that Suspicious had killed her, so she wouldn’t be a bother. Ghostler quickly trotted into Ponyville, trying to find his young padawan. It was a hard task to do since he could be virtually anywhere. Maybe he would even go to care-a-lot, the capital city of Brony land for all he knew. But before Ghost got anywhere, he heard something coming out of the radio that was lying on the street near a couple of fillies who were dancing. It was a piano piece he had heard before… but where? Then the music suddenly stopped and he heard a voice coming out of the radio. “And now a gigantic applause for our newest guitar player…. Xarahox!!” And that made Ghost almost want to puke, causing him to trot away in fear from whatever he heard back there. Xarahox is here in Brony land? And what is Xarahox doing, playing for a local radio station? He belongs to True Capitalist Radio! He is my piano player! Mine! He belongs to me! and look at these fruity bastards, they’re ruining it! I have to save Xarahox… from himself! Ghost thought, determined. Wherever he is, I will find and save him! After some trotting around, he found Karasz Kun. He of course was still with… that thing with the weird eyes. I will save you, Karasz Kun! Ghost thought. Have no fear! But before he could get to the two, something else intervened. “GHOSTIE!” he heard a voice say. The only thing that Ghost could come up with is how to get out of there as soon as possible… because ‘Pink’ was now chasing him. “Ghost, my good friend, I saw you there with a frown! You’re to my party because I know you’re really a clown!” NOW SHE’S SINGING, FOR ***** SAKE! NOW SHE’S SINGING LIKE IT IS A FREAKING X FACTOR! “And before you say, ‘no that’s too fruity’….” Pinkie Pie sang on, but then she was intervened. “Pinkie!” Ghost heard another pony say. When he turned around he saw that it was that Tara Strong thing. “Pinkie, you know we have to go to the Crystal Empire. Your party with this… fine gentlecolt will have to wait for a bit.” Purple took Pink away, making Ghost’s task to find Karasz Kun a bit easier. Wait, where is he? Of course, Ghost could not find Karasz Kun anymore since he and his… lover had taken of and went someplace else. It was most likely that they had not even seen him nor the pink circus clown that suddenly jumped in and started singing to him. So, for Ghost there was no other option than to just run around looking for him. Ghost knew that time was of the essence him if he were to save Karasz Kun from fruiting up. That… weird-eyed thing seemed like she was controlling him and indoctrinating him to be fruity and stick with him for all of eternity. No! Ghost thought, I will not let that happen! Never! This made him wonder how the other capitalists would be. The capitalists from whom he never would think they would end up in Brony land. How can he save them? “And so I said, ‘Hey baby, I thought you was in trouble, I thought you might need something’, and then he went all beer cans and was completely nuts for a minute, baby!” Alexander nodded. The fat draconequus didn’t really care for this guy, but he was a fine sport and he could help him with whatever he would need in the future. Maybe he could help him become governor, or even president, or maybe take control over this strange land he just had found himself in. “So we take all the petty people and we put them into labor camps. Hm-m.” Alexander mused. He found it to be an interesting concept this Ghetto Capitalist had told him about. Maybe he should starts propagating it. after he got home of course. There seemed to be no logical way to get out of this place. Or maybe he should just take this land and its inhabitants under his control. Than he would be the king of the land. Well, it is not the United States or even a human country, but one cannot be really picky on that one, right? “Alexander, baby,” Ghetto said, “What do you think of this plan?” Alexander tried to get his straight face on and pretended he didn’t really saw that much into Ghetto’s plan. He had to keep him under control after all and don’t let him get ant funny ideas. Then Alexander noticed another figure entering the scene. O, yes, the commander. Or captain. Or whatever. Since when are horses in charge again? he thought. And why does everything around here look so… bright? It’s sickening, really. “Attention!” he heard the captain say. His name was Shining… something, right? Why would anyone name himself after a piece of armor? O, yes, right, Shining Armor, that’s his name. “I said, attention!” Shining Armor repeated himself to the Ghetto Capitalist and Alexander, who both didn’t really seem to pay any attention. “Relax, baby,” Ghetto Capitalist reassured him. “We’ve got your attention, don’t you worry about that, baby!” Shining Armor ignored his statement and just started talking to the two of them. “I don’t care what you two are up too, but know this; you two and your battalion of… Bronies will be having a march starting tomorrow morning. The goal is to make a march through the countryside, to shape up your own bodies and hopefully your discipline. Hey, you might actually learn something…” Shining Armor was getting frustrated about what happened of the course of the past few days, but he knew himself that he had to move to the Crystal Empire as soon as possible. Something was brewing there, but he couldn’t just take his guard and march in . especially not these newbies. They would only cause collateral damage and make the whole situation even more fragile. Perhaps Cadence knows what to do. She is the Princess of Love after all. Shining thought. And I need to protect her in this without causing a war. Hopefully, Twilight and her friends will be at the scene to quickly resolve the situation. “So… we’re having a march, baby?” Ghetto asked Shining. “But I was just liking it here!” “I don’t care what you like or not! You need to listen to the orders your superiors give you! I’m now ordering you to inform your chalk about what needs to be done. If you don’t, I will see to it that you end up in the cell yourself. ” Shining warned him. “And you as well, draconequus!” He told Alexander. “Make sure he does his job, or you will join him in his cell!” “Yes, sir!” Alexander said, half amused and half irritated. He also saluted for a bit, but it wasn’t very genuine. “I will make sure that we will get it done!” Shining Armor. “Good. Report to lieutenant Feather Blitz for further instructions. Now, dismissed!” And with that he trotted off back to the castle, leaving the confused pony and draconequus behind. It took Ghost more than an hour before he could find Karasz Kun again. He was – of course – hanging around with his new-found girlfriend. Or marefriend. Or whatever. Now came the hard job for the old grumpy capitalist. He now had to find a way to get Karasz Kun to realize what he was doing and escape Brony land together with him and the other capitalist. He wasn’t going to lose Karasz Kun! He wouldn’t! it was the one and only friend he ever had despite having bunches of friends that happened to be black, Hispanic or kraut! I need beer, Ghost thought. But that is a later issue. Now, how do I get Karasz Kun away from her…? Ghost walked up to the two doves. Karasz Kun saw him coming and looked up. “O my,” Derpy responded. “Is that a friend of yours?” “Well…” Karasz Kun responded. “He is sort of my tutor. Kind of.” “That’s enough,” Ghost said towards Karasz Kun. “I need you. I’m taking the capitalist army back home and I need your help!” “What? What!” Karasz Kun responded. “I cannot do this without you, Karasz Kun! You’re my best friend and without you I cannot keep those fruit bowls under control back home!” “Why do you want to go back home?” Derpy asked Ghost, confused. “Because I’m a capitalist! And capitalists are needed on Earth!” Derpy thought for a second and then turned to Ghost. “So… this ‘ka-pi-va-lis-ne’ is really important and meaningful, huh?” Finally, some fruit out here with some intelligence, Ghost thought. Maybe there is some hope for this place after all. “Okie-dokey!” Derpy cheered. “A nice place with ‘vi-ta-pi-ki-sm’ where me being cross-eyed isn’t a big deal? Sign me up!” Stupid dumbasses… Ghost though. I needed to get Karasz Kun with me back home, not for him to take his fruity friends who cannot pronounce capitalism right with him! “Well…” Karasz Kun said “I’m not sure… I could go back home because of capitalism, but I found so many nice ponies down here…” “I want to see the land of papitaclism!” Derpy cheered. “And if it is a nice as I think it is, we could be so happy there together!” Well, except, Junkyard America and Obamacare… Ghost thought. And Ron Paul and Sarah Palin, of course. “Come on, let’s go! Let’s go right now!” Derpy said while jumping up and down, excited as she was. “What? What!” Karasz Kun reacted, startled. “You really want to go right now?” She nodded. “Come on, Mr. Grumpy!” Derpy cheered. “Bring me to the land of katikaklism!” “It’s capitalism -” Ghost wanted to react, but before he could react the two doves raced away from him. Then they suddenly came back, and Derpy opened her mouth. “Uh… where do we need to go?”