Chapter Eight
Everything is good….Now What?
I sat in my room, holding my Ruger 10/22. It was a nice gun to have, just to go and shoot on the weekends. Originally I had bought it for home protection, but it was really just for fun.
My dad walked into my room “Son now remember, don’t play with it! Guns aren’t toys!”
I laughed and brushed him off “Dude, I’m seventeen. I think I got the gun safety thing down”
“Yea yea, we got a big manly ‘seventeen’ year old over here! I know, you think it’s silly but, it is my job to constantly remind you of what you’re supposed to do; even if it’s only to give a few pointers here and there. “He said, chuckling.
I woke up, my father’s image still plastered into my mind. I missed him; he had always been there to make sure I was doing well. Make sure that I wasn’t sending my future in the wrong direction. He was always a few inches taller than me…or was he? No, he was shorter than me…I think.
Oh no….
I tried for all I could, I tried so hard my head started to hurt. But nothing ever came. My dad as I knew him was gone. I didn’t have any memory of him, all but one; his voice saying “Son, you have to learn to make decisions yourself….I won’t be here forever”. It was hard to believe that he had never even existed; just a figment of my own reality. I held my eyes tightly, not wanting the sorrow to escape my eyelids. I had to find a positive, had to find a way to combat this.
I just needed to meet up and spend some time with my father here! I opened my eyes expecting a sudden surge of hope to propel me forward out of the bed. But instead, a wave of sad realization slapped me in my face. The father that I had in this world was dead. I had never had a father.
This time the sorrow came forth freely from my eyes. It wasn’t a sobbing, loud sadness. This sadness was an empty sadness. I sat there in the dark, letting tears fall from my eyes. I felt empty and alone. Everyone needed a father, or at least a father figure. But I had none, no one to keep me in line, make sure I was polite and courteous, to make sure that I was doing the right thing. I had never been taught to ride a bike or to fish; none of those things.
I heard Twilight walking up the stairs and quickly turned away from her. I didn’t want her to see me like this. She obviously had noticed me move because she walked right up to me and poked me with her hoof “Hey it’s okay you slept up here, you don’t have to hide from me….” Her voice trailed off as she noticed the tear soaked pillows and the ones currently running down my face.
“Ethan, are you okay?” she asked in a comforting tone.
I sniffled, my voice breaking badly “Y-Yea I…I just was …nothing”
Twilight was not taking my answer as acceptable, “Sure, because ponies just cry like this all of the time. Come downstairs and we can talk about it.”
I didn’t want to. Celestia knows that’s the last thing that I wanted to talk about. I never liked admitting my weaknesses and I was counting this as one. What if she thought less of me? What if I just didn’t fit in now? But I knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I followed her down the stairs, hating every step. We sat on the couch together; her bringing up a cup of what looked like coffee.
“So tell me what the problem is Ethan, you can tell me anything. Well anything but nothing. I know that’s a lie.” She sipped her coffee.
I sighed, wiping at my eyes with a hoof. “I lost the memories I had of my father. All of them, I can’t even remember what he looked like or anything he ever said.”
“Well you have been in a coma, how could you remember him?”
She obviously didn’t fully understand my situation, but how could she? Did I even want her to understand my situation, it would be so confusing. Especially to her knowledgeable mind, since she would need an answer to everything.
She smiled, “We will just have to pay your dad a visit today! Not a problem, you can start building new memories right away!”
Wrong choice of words on her part; I immediately started to let tears fall again. “H…he’s dead…”
Twilight took me into a hug. “I didn’t know……sorry. I wish I would’ve known”
I sat there, not returning her hug; my tears falling onto her mane and back. I felt cold, and empty once again. I was cornered by life’s cruel decisions. I was the first to break the silence, I needed to walk again.
“Twilight, I need to go clear my mind. Just walk around a bit is all. I will be back before too much longer….”
She gave an understanding nod, “Just be careful please, and don’t do anything drastic.”
With that, I left. I just walked, like I usually had; thinking what to do next.
Despite how I felt, the sun had managed to rise and it was an absolutely beautiful day. I of course, found a way to make it bad, thinking it as hot and humid. I felt miserable on top of that; I was sad and I was angry. What in the hell was I supposed to do? My memories were leaving me stupid and I had no dad to replace them in this world. I must have walked for a long ways because it wasn’t long before I could just barely see Ponyville in the distance.
Before I decided to turn back I heard a crashing thud from somewhere over the nearby hill. I peered over to see Dash laying in an impact hole with three other pegasi hovering over her laughing.
“Ha, you’re stupid Rainbow Crash, everypony knows you SUCK but yourself!” at this the other two ponies by his side laughed along, one of them even adding a “Yea you suck!” at the end of their giggling.
Rainbow Dash tried to crawl out of the mini crater she had created, but before she could crawl out one of the ponies pushed her back in laughing. “Stay in your hole you trash, it’s where you belong!”
I was infuriated; the combination of emotions I was feeling was not good. One of the only friends I had was being bullied in front of me and I had nothing to lose. People in school used to call me a white knight because I had a zero tolerance for bullies. I was a bully-bully, to say, and right now I was a rare mix of rage and desperation. Not good.
Rainbow Dash was on the verge of tears, “Guys I d-don’t care just let me go….please...”
The ponies laughed, “That would be too easy Rainbow Crash, you gotta pay us to get out!” one of the ponies even spat on her. I saw a tear escape Rainbow Dash’s eye as she began to cry.
That was it. My little fuse lit, burnt, and exploded all in a few seconds. I walked up to the scuffle casually enough, drawing the attention of the smaller Pegasus who landed right in front of me.
“Hey get lost punk before I beat your flank!” he glared at me.
“Oh, yea don’t want to interrupt anything….” I turned my tail towards him and before he could look back I reared my powerful hind legs and bucked him right in the mouth. He fell backwards covering his mouth with his hooves, screaming in pain. On the ground lay shards of teeth in random spats of blood.
“What the hell?” the leader of the group flew up to me, getting in my face “Get lost man! You don’t want to deal with me! I’ll make you wish you were dead!”
I didn’t give him time to react. Without missing a beat I reared my head back and head butted him twice, right on the bridge of his nose. I felt a crack on the first one but the second one is where I felt a break. He took several steps back, blood falling from his nose. I swiftly swung my hoof right into the side of his head, knocking him out. The third pony grabbed my neck from above, lifting me off the ground. I was being choked and had to get out quickly. I immediately threw all my weight backwards, swinging with enough force to cause the Pegasus to crash to the ground. I was on top of him when we crashed, keeping my position I turned over, facing him. I delivered four quick kicks, two in the side and two in the head.
When we had landed my wound had re opened and I was bleeding from my side quite badly. I was walking back to Rainbow Dash who was staring, mouth agape at me, when I saw the ponies whose teeth I had knocked out. He was slowly standing up, wobbly and obviously in shock. I grabbed him by his head and turned his face towards Rainbow Dash’s “Apologize.”
He made no sound.
“APOLOGIZE!” I screamed at him, hoofing him in the mouth, making him yell.
“I-I …aim sowwrthy…” he mouthed painfully.
I dropped him on the ground and walked over to Rainbow Dash, “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?”
“N-no, thanks to you I’m fine… Usually they just tease me but they weren’t going to just do that this time…were they?” she sounded scared.
I hugged her, “No Dash, they weren’t just going to tease you….But they won’t mess with you again. Because if they do I swear they won’t have the chance to do it again”
I looked to the group of ponies I had just decimated, “Did I go overboard” I looked at Rainbow Dash,
“Nah, they will be fine I think. It was actually kinda cool! They way you just beat them up, it was crazy! Thanks again for saving me!” she hoofed me lightly on my back, obviosly trying to hide her shaken state.
“Hey wanna walk back to town with me?” I looked at her eagerly
“Hmmmmmm….walking isn’t my thing but what the hay, let’s do it. I probably need to rest a few days anyway.” She smiled at me. It was different though, it was a warm, day-fixing smile that made me feel okay.
We walked back to town together, joking about the day’s events and comparing how fast or strong we were. I wanted to get to know Rainbow Dash a lot better. She was a really cool pony and like me in many ways; I could relate to her.
At Twilights library she stopped at the door, “Hey well thanks again! Maybe next time I can save you from some trouble!”
Before she could go I grabbed her attention “Hey wait, if you let me run inside really quick and grab something I’ll buy us dinner!”
She laughed, “Ha sure, I’m game for a free dinner anytime!”
I ran inside to grab my saddlebags, quickly slipping them on and tightening them snuggly in place. I found Dash flipping the door to the mailbox up and down, “Took ya long enough, lets go!”
“Uh, where too? I don’t know the good places to eat around here!” I asked walking up to her.
“Oh I know this really fancy place right off of Stirrup Street that has some of the best food, but it’s kind of expensive so I don’t know if…”
I cut her off “Let’s go, lead the way Captain!”
She giggled at the nickname and started off towards the restaurant.
She was right when she had said fancy. It had the whole velvet carpet thing going on, full with butlers and candlelit tables. I thought that this was going to be awkward, it was starting to look more and more like a date; I didn’t want that at all. I silently prayed that Rainbow Dash wouldn’t take this the wrong way. To my great relief, when we were seated she let out a disgusted sounding grumble,
“Man, I could never get in to this fancy crap, why does the good food have to be at such stuck up joints?” she flicked through the menu, looking a little overwhelmed and unimpressed with the options.
“What should I get?” I was looking through the menu as well, nothing sounding too good at all really.
“Dunno. Honestly I’m just going to point to something when the waiter gets here.” She closed her eyes and turned a few pages before stopping. “It will be from this page!” she didn’t bother looking at the selections.
As if on cue, a stuffy looking waiter showed up, looking hot and uncomfortable in his tuxedo uniform. “May I take your orders?” Rainbow Dash instantly showed the waiter the menu and pointed to a random spot.
“Ma’am that is a list of our dressings….”
Rainbow blushed slightly and slid her hoof up the page a few inches, “Uh that one then!”
The waiter wrote something on his order pad and turned to me, “What will you be eating sir?”
I thought for a second, easily making my decision. “The same!” I handed my menu to the waiter who repeated our order.
“Okay then…Two Middle Eastern Carrot Salads” without even taking our menu booklets he turned and walked away acting very annoyed.
I sat the booklets down near the edge of the table, looking towards Rainbow Dash; we had so much in common, it was really the first pony that I had connected with. We had the same mindset, “Be the best and win!” I didn’t know her work ethic, but if it was anything like mine she was always up to something and trying new things.
She was busy sticking her hoof in the lit candle at our table, trying not to get burnt. Should I talk to her about how I feel, with my lack of father? Probably not, she had a happy family I bet. She would just try and console me, feeling sorry for me deep down inside; I didn’t want to burden her with that at all. Just because we liked to do the same style of things didn’t mean we shared problems and emotions that were anything alike.
She looked up from her now singed hoof, “I’ve seen that look before kid, what’s on your mind?”
I nearly swallowed my tongue “N-nothing! I was just sitting here bored” I gave a halfhearted laugh, trying to conceal my inner thoughts.
But they felt like stains that everypony could see; a screen that my eyes were projecting for others to openly read. I had a problem with being completely transparent with my emotions. Most everypony knew what I was thinking.
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes, “I don’t like being lied to and you’re bad at it. Tell me what is wrong with you or else!”
I weighed my options, what would else even mean? But before I could mentally prepare another lie, the chains that were holding my thoughts back burst. All of my thoughts formed words and then sentences before I even knew what was going on.
“I never had a dad. The dad that I thought I had turned out to be an imagination that I dreamt, and I soon learned that the dad I had here died long before I ever got a chance to meet him. I was fine with this, I still had my imaginary dad in my mind but when I woke up….he was gone. I couldn’t even remember his name or what he looked like.” I put my head on the table, embarrassed that I had just popped my emotions like that. “Sorry….”
I felt a light hoof lay on the top of my head, “After we eat let’s take a walk and talk about this. I think we both need too.”
What did she mean by we both needed too? Did she have a giant secret that she hadn’t told anypony? Maybe she was just embarrassed by the fact that I was a bastard pony. Whatever the case was, I was eager to find out.
Our dinner came and to say the least it was disgusting. Rainbow Dash ended up cooking hers a little extra on the candle flame; while I decided that my plate was sad and needed a smiley face on it. I looked to her plate and saw all of the burnt carrot nubs haphazardly thrown in a pile and laughed, probably a little louder than I should have actually as it drew the attention of the entire restaurant. Rainbow Dash looked at me then at my plate and started laughing just as loud. This only made me laugh louder and so on. No more than one minute later we were approached by our waiter who asked us to leave.
“Thank Celestia!” Rainbow Dash flicked a carrot stub at me and started to walk out.
I paid for our ‘dinner’ and walked out after Rainbow Dash, who was a good ten steps ahead of me. I caught up to her and hoofed her side. She just kept walking with her head hung lower than usual. Then I noticed that she was crying.
“Uh, Dash are you okay?” I looked her over, making sure she wasn’t hurt. “If you’re that hungry still I guess we can go somewhere else…..”
“Thank you…” her voice faded as she slowly turned to face me.
“What for?” I was extremely confused at this point.
“I…Well I…..I thought I was the only pony in Equestria that…” she inched closer to me.
She was the only pony in Equestria that what? Dash had to be pulling a joke. She was going to get really close then say boo and scare me or something! In response I tensed my muscles in anticipation.
She got closer....
I held my breath.
Even closer.....
Braced my back hooves.
She draped her head on my neck, almost hugging me.....
Okay here it goes! The big shock! But I was going to be ready this time; I was going to scare her instead!
She wrapped me in a hug.....
I tensed my muscles and got ready to pounce.
Here it goes!
“I don’t have a dad either…..”