I Blame You

by Whitestrake


Poor Choice Of Words

The fuck just happened? The last thing I remember is firing the FTL gun, then nothing. I'm cold, wet, partially submerged in some sort of muck. Insects sounded off all around me, while the winter had been unusually warm, it did not warrant the emergence of summer's favorite nightmare fuel. I flexed my hands and feet, still there, I sniffed the air, swampy. My eyes opened, and my world turned upside down.

I was in a wooded area of some sort, a mixture of tropical and deciduous plant-life surrounded me. I sat up, and a wave dizziness swam through my head, standing made it that much worse. I felt around myself, searching my pockets for anything that may be useful. My wallet, while valuable, was out of the question, same with my keys. I patted my legs and found just what I needed, my most useful tool: a survival knife with a ten-inch fixed blade in a leg sheath. Double edged tip, a saw on the back, with a hollow handle for storing necessities: four anywhere matches, a compass in the pommel, fish hooks with line.

I looked around for a bit longer, seeing no other options, I headed east.

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Jay had no idea where he was. One minute, he's dicking around with his friend, the next, he's being chased though a forest by something. The teen ran around a tree, he kept turning in an effort to lose his pursuer. The band student was, by no means, athletic, it didn't help that he was in flip-flops and bargain bin shorts. The forest was chilly, but humid, and the young man found himself sweating and panting long before he normally would have.

Ducking behind a boulder, he waited for his stalker to pass him. A big cat of some sort, likely a cougar, ran by. Jay had never been around big predators before, and the experience was spine-chilling. Whatever it was, it seemed to have lost track of him, Jay breathed a sigh of relief. The young man crept out from behind the boulder, and tried to get his bearings.

Nothing out of the ordinary, the plants all resembled what he'd seen near his home. He assumed he was still in Walker County, that it was just cold for a March day. The explosion might have made him fly into the woods, but that didn't explain why Taylor wasn't around. Wouldn't he have landed nearby?

Jay was very aware that he had no idea about navigation. He also knew that the odds of being found in the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere were pretty low. The highschool band flute player set off in a random direction.

Besides, it's not like he could get lost any more than he already was.

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What the hell was my truck doing in a pool of quicksand? The dark green Chevy was almost completely hidden by the suctioning muck, its tailgate was the only thing that remained visible. She was probably totaled. Damn, I really liked the old girl, too. I shook my head, this was no time to get sentimental. I knew that something had gone horribly, horribly wrong with the FTL gun, and that accident had resulted in an explosion of some sort.

I stopped walking, there was movement nearby, something big, quadruped by the rhythm. I ducked behind some foliage and tried to be as invisible as possible. A... lion of some sort sauntered onto the rudimentary path that I had somehow found myself on. A small pair of mammalian wings rested on its back, and a scorpion tail swished through the air to its rear. What the blueberry fuck was going on here? I was looking at the manticore of legend, a monster that could swallow corpses in a matter of seconds! Jesus H. Christ, I needed to find that gun, and fast.

The beast sniffed the air, apparently it was looking for something. I hoped it wasn't hungry, Taylor stew doesn't sound too appetizing. I slid the knife from its sheath, just in case I needed it, and attempted to quietly escape. A twig had other plans, breaking under my foot with a snap. the beast and I locked eyes, and I took off like a bat out of hell.

My worn pair of Redwing boots wasn't that comfortable to run in, but it'd have to do. The manticore had the advantage of speed, but I had my wits and knife. The run back to my truck was short, made shorter by the half-ton monster trying to eat me. The tailgate and a fair portion of the bed were exposed. Oh, right, things in quicksand bob up and down, good.

With a renewed fervor, I leaped on the tailgate, slid down the sloping bed, and sat my ass down in the muck. My knife was ready to meet flesh, just as the beast jumped and smacked into the framework. It leaned its head over the side of the truck. “Big mistake, asshole.” I thrust the blade upward.

It sunk into the beast's jaw, the gap between the side, and wedged into its skull. With a harsh tug, I freed the blade, and feline ran away. I was aware of the forest's eyes on me, as though every living thing knew I didn't belong here, that I’d violated some taboo in the natural order of things.

With a raised middle finger, I resumed my trip east.

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Jay watched in awe as the lion-thing from earlier ran by him, it didn't even stop to attack. A small trail of blood marked its path, and the flute player was quick to avoid its origin. The young man's heart kicked into overdrive as he saw the border of the forest on the horizon. Running seemed like the best course of action, but that would alert other, possibly larger, predators nearby. What to do, what to do? Throwing caution to the wind, the teen started at an easy jog.

It was only during this moment of relative peace that he was able to truly observe his surroundings. The plants, both those he was familiar with and exotic, provided for a semi-relaxing atmosphere. Nature here felt... pure, untamed, like something to be respected. Jay was about halfway to the exit when he heard a familiar thumping behind him. He turned his head, and saw the same manticore from earlier chasing him, blood covering its chest. Jay kicked out of his flip-flops and high-tailed it towards freedom.

The brambles tore at his skin, but he wanted out and away from that thing. The open air was so refreshing, the sun was shining, and whatever the hell that monster lion was had stopped chasing him. Rows of trees filled his view, ordered, evenly distanced from each other. A sign of civilization! Jay tried to find the farmhouse or work shed, the ordered trees hinted at the existence of both. He needed a phone, a bath, and something to calm him down. A gasp made him turn.

Just in time to see two orange legs slam into his pelvic region.