//------------------------------// // Meet The Family // Story: The Prince and the Pauperess // by Bluecatcinema //------------------------------// One lovely spring evening, Blueblood was treating Dusty to one of his favorite beauty treatments. "Oh, you're going to look magnificent, my dear!" He beamed as the stylists did their work. "Simply stunning!" "So, you're saying I don't look stunning already?" Dusty raised an eyebrow. "Well, I, uh..." Blueblood stuttered. "Kidding." Dusty giggled. As Blueblood sighed in relief, an unexpected guest crashed through the balcony. "What is the meaning of this?" Blueblood demanded. "Mail call for Dust Speck!" The gray-coated, yellow-maned Pegasus mare held up a letter. "Thank you." Blueblood said tersely, snatching up the letter. "You're welcome!" The mare saluted, flying off the balcony. Blueblood handed the letter to Dusty, who opened it and began to read. "Uh-oh." She gasped. "What's the matter?" Blueblood asked. "Who's it from?" "My dad." Dusty cringed. "He heard about us dating, and he wants us to come to Bitaly so you can meet him." "Well, that doesn't sound so bad." Blueblood shrugged. "You don't know my dad." Dusty declared. The next morning, after a night of explaining things to Celestia and Shine, a carriage pulled by two of fedora-wearing Pegasi landed outside the castle (As was stipulated in the letter) Blueblood and Dusty got in, and began their trip to Bitaly. "So... what did you say that your father did again?" Blueblood asked. "I didn't really say anything." Dusty shrugged. "Well, could you at least give me an idea of what he does?" Blueblood urged. "I promise I won't condescend or something." "It's kinda complicated." Dusty shrugged. "All I can really say for now is that my dad is a prominent businesspony, not to mention a wealthy landowner." "Wait, your father is rich?" Blueblood gasped. "You never once struck me for a wealthy pony." "Well, it's something I don't like advertising." Dusty blushed. "The whole reason I came to Canterlot was to make my own way, and not have daddy buying everything for me." "Hey, it's fine." Blueblood smiled. "Though I must say, your father must be very wealthy to have his employees wearing those suits and fedoras. Are they made of silk?" "Oh yes... my dad likes fedoras and suits a lot." Dusty nodded. "According to him, they show that you mean business." Eventually, the carriage landed. One of the Pegasi opened the door on Dusty's side. "Excuse me, Miss Speck, we have arrived at your father's estate." He declared. Dusty and Blueblood slowly walked out of the carriage. They were in the courtyard of a very big mansion. What surprised Blueblood was all the ponies wearing fedoras and suits, with very strict faces planted on them. "Yikes. Are all these guards?" Blueblood gulped. "My father is also paranoid at times." Dusty told him. "In his profession, he'd rather have a guard with him at all times. I would try not to make eye contact with them." "How lovely." Blueblood dryly quipped as a nearby pony gave him a vicious glare. They soon arrived at the doors, where two Unicorns noticed Dusty. "Ah, Miss Speck, you finally arrived." One smiled. "Your father has been expecting ya." "Of course." Dusty smiled. "How is everypony?" "Going nuts over this guy dating you." The second Unicorn pointed to Blueblood. "Oh dear..." Dusty sighed. "Well, we might as well get this over with." "Hold up." The first Unicorn lit his horn and waved it over Blueblood. "Okay, he's clean. You two have fun now." The two Unicorns opened the doors. Blueblood was perplexed, and heard whispers as he entered. "What do you think?" The first Unicorn asked. "Oh, the boss is going to eat him alive." The second snorted. "Oh boy, some paranoia your father has." Blueblood told Dusty. Dusty sighed deeply. "I must confess, Blueblood... my father is not your usual kind of pony." She said solemnly. "How exactly?" Blueblood asked. "Well, he 'does things'..." Dusty said hesitantly. "Things that aren't really... legal." "Dusty, if I didn't know any better, I would say that your father works for the mafia or something..." Blueblood said warily. "Oh no, it's nothing like that..." Dusty shook her head. Blueblood let out a sigh of relief as they approached the main study. Two other ponies opened the door for them. As they did, Dusty confessed swiftly "More like the mafia works for my father." Blueblood froze in horror. Before he could say anything, a voice called out "Welcome to my home." In the study, a chair swiveled around, revealing an older ash-grey Unicorn with a gray mane and a long goatee. His Cutie Mark was a black leather-bound book with a skull on it. He had gold eyes, and a grim expression. Blueblood gulped in fear. "Um... hello." He waved awkwardly. "I'm Prince Blueblood." "Grimoire Napoleon." The stallion nodded curtly. "I understand you're... 'involved' with my daughter." "Yes, I am." Blueblood nodded. "Well then, I'm sure you understand what a precious, delicate flower she is." Grimoire declared. "And you are aware of what would happen if you dare hurt her in any way imaginable…" "Daddy!" Dusty groaned. "Please don't threaten my coltfriend!" "Sorry, sweetie." Grimoire stroked her cheek. "I just want to make sure you're taken care of." "Everything's fine, daddy." Dusty sighed. "Blueblood's a perfect gentlecolt." "We'll see." Grimoire glared. "Well, you two run along and unpack. Dinner's in an hour." "Okay, daddy." Dusty nodded. "Come on, Blueblood." As Blueblood left, he saw Grimoire give him the 'I'm watching you' gesture, and shivered. As Blueblood and Dusty went to a room to unpack, Blueblood was silent. Only when they were behind closed doors did he speak. "Dusty... care to tell me why you didn't tell me that you are the daughter of the leader of the Bitalian mafia?" Blueblood asked. "My father told me to never tell just anypony." Dusty explained. "I was going to tell you… eventually." "Like when?" Blueblood demanded. "Possibly when we were old and gray and happily married?" Dusty said nervously. "Oh joy." Blueblood groaned. "That was what I was afraid of." Dusty sighed. "I was scared that if I told you, you'd dump me... you wouldn't believe how many colts I met that shied away the moment they recognized me as Grimoire Napoleon's daughter. That's part of the reason I came to Canterlot." "Look, Dusty, I'm not mad at you for not telling me." Blueblood declared. "It's the fact that I am going to be sharing the same household with a bunch of criminals for two days!" "We're not criminals." Dusty insisted. "The Bitalian Mafia is strictly an organization meant to benefit the less fortunate, at the cost of inconveniencing the rich." "Meaning?" Blueblood gaped. "They're like Robbin' Hoof." Dusty explained. "They steal from the rich, give to the poor. That's all. None of them have once killed, maimed, tortured, or brutalized anypony before... well, anypony that didn't deserve it at least." "Sorry if that doesn't comfort me the least bit." Blueblood cringed. "I'm more afraid of what your father will do to me..." "Don't be." Dusty smiled. "Daddy may be all dark and sinister like, but he's really a softie once you get to know him." "If you say so..." Blueblood cringed. "Good." Dusty beamed. "Now, we'd better hurry. Dad and the others are downstairs waiting for us in the dining room, we're having spaghetti!" Blueblood stiffened at the mention of 'dining room' and 'food'. "And no, the spaghetti won't be poisoned." Together, they headed to the dining room. As they entered, Blueblood saw several other Unicorns sitting alongside Grimoire. All but one of them had goatees of varying lengths. "Your uncles, I presume?" He asked Dusty. "Yes." Dusty nodded. "Everyone, this is my coltfriend, Blueblood." "Allow me to introduce you to my younger brothers, Blueblood." Grimoire smirked. "This is Murder." He pointed to the gray-coated stallion with brown eyes, a black-silver like mane/goatee, and a crossbow Cutie Mark. "…Arson." He indicated the brown-coated pony with gold eyes, faded black mane/goatee, and a lit match Cutie Mark. "…Assault." The green-eyed, white-coated, brown maned/goateed, brass hoof Cutie Marked pony nodded. "...Larceny." The gold-eyed, brown-coated, blonde-maned/goateed pony with a Cutie Mark consisting of five bits in a pentagram shape smiled. "…Vandal." A pony with gold eyes, light tan coat, black mane/goatee and shot glass Cutie Mark gave a sneer. "Manslaughter." A pony with brown eyes, a dark gray coat, blonde mane, the shortest goatee, and knife Cutie Mark chuffed, glaring at Blueblood. Blueblood cringed in fear. "And I'm Caboose." A dark brown-coated pony with light green eyes, a black mane, no goatee and Cutie Mark of a fedora with the Bitalian mafia crest interjected, cutting off Grim. Blueblood's fear was soon replaced with confusion. "Or, as I know them: Murray, Sonny, Salt, Lars, Vinny, Slot... and Caboose. My grandpa was a murder mystery novelist." Dusty declared. "Stop trying to scare my coltfriend, daddy." "Just joshing, my little cannoli." Grimoire smirked, "Why don't you have a seat?" And with that, dinner began. For a while, everypony ate in silence. A nudge from Dusty pushed Blueblood into conversation. "So, am I to understand that you're all in the same... line of work?" He said nervously. "Same line of..." Lars grimaced. "Dusty, you told him?!" "I had to." Dusty shrugged. "Please don't be angry!" "Yes, I promise not to tell anypony!" Blueblood pledged. "Just don't hurt me!" "Relax, pal." Sonny smirked. "Ain't like it's your fault. We won't hurtchya." Blueblood sighed in relief. "Unless you tell anypony." Slot glared. "Then we'll bust up that pretty face a' yours. I happen to be pretty efficient with knives, myself." "Slot!" Dusty gasped. "Just kiddin', sis." Slot guffawed. "So, Dusty. How is it that you managed to woo a prince?" Murray asked. "Yeah, I mean, you're pretty enough to knock somepony dead, but you seem like a pony pretty boy here would think you're beneath him." Sonny explained. "Well, you thought wrong. " Blueblood sniffed, offended. "Hey, hey, we meant no offense, Blue-is it alright if we call you Blue?" Vinny soothed. "To be honest, Blueblood asked me out a few days after I started as a servant for the castle." Dusty smiled. "Servant, eh? Pretty boy here isn't one of those guys who has a thing for..." Lars glanced at Blueblood suspiciously. "Oh heavens no!" Blueblood gasped. "You're sure? You seem like the philandering type. Makes us worry, you know?" Slot eyed warily. "Don't." Dusty stated firmly, "Blueblood here is a gentlecolt. He has been one ever since we met." "So...your name is Blueblood?" Caboose asked the prince. "Indeed." Blueblood nodded. Caboose paused for a moment, before glancing at him oddly. "...Why? Do you bleed blue blood?" Blueblood gave a 'are you serious' glance at Dusty, before sighing. "No. The name simply suggests I am a pony of noble birth, given to me by my father." "Interesting." Grimoire declared. "My father named me after the book he read to my mother when she was pregnant with me… Brothers Grimm, if I recall." "Huh." Blueblood said in bemusement, "So, why are the rest of your brothers named after criminal offenses and this guy," He pointed to Caboose, "Is called Caboose? The eight ponies shrugged. "Ya got us. Pops was 'out there' by the time Caboose came along. He was writing some weird book about two different colored groups of soldiers in a box canyon and named him after a character. It's very weird." Slot explained. "Very weird." Vinny shuddered. "That, and well...he's not the sharpest pencil in the bunch." Murray admits. "Look at me!" Caboose declared, as with a flip of his snout, he flipped a falafel ball from his spaghetti and into his mouth, gobbling it up in one go. "Ta-da!" Grimm and the others groaned, obviously embarrassed by Caboose's childish act. Changing the subject, Vinny faced Blueblood. "Tell me, Blueboy, have you ever gotten into a fight before?" Vinny asked. "Haven't we all?" Blueblood snorted. "Just the other day, I got into this argument with my tailor, who insisted that-" "Not that kind of fight." Salt interrupted. "We're talking hooficuffs, y'know? An ol' fashioned brawl?" "Salt, Blueblood is not a violent pony." Dusty declared. "Relax, Dust, I was just askin'." Vinnie sniggered. "Well, like Dusty said, I am not one for fights." Blueblood agreed. "However, I did fight some Diamond Dogs at one point." "Diamond Dogs?" Grimoire asked. "Oh yes." Blueblood nodded. "Little over a year ago, one of them took something from my uncle, prince Shine. It is a rather daring tale-" "You took them out with a rock." Vinnie interrupted. "What?!" Blueblood yelped. "How did yo-" "Please, just looking at you, it's obvious that you took the easy way out and chuck a decent-sized rock at them." Vinnie smirked. "But they were Diamond Dogs!" Blueblood protested. "Don't I get points for facing them?" "Anypony can take on Diamond Dogs." Grimoire said derisively. "Kick them like you would a puppy and they run away with tails between their legs." Blueblood groaned in defeat, while Dusty sought to change the subject. "Say daddy, are you and the others still heading on that hunting trip to the woods?" She asked. "Oh yes." Grimoire nodded. "A client of ours is asking for a very rare creature to be captured for studying, so we will probably be gone all day tomorrow." 'Oh thank goodness.' Blueblood thought. "Well, you see, Blueblood here happens to be an excellent navigator." Dusty smiled. "He is?" Grimoire asked. "I am?" Blueblood said, confused. "Oh yes." Dusty nodded. "His Cutie Mark is a compass, and as far as I can tell, he never gets lost." "…Your point?" Grimoire asked, eyes shifting to his brothers. "Well, I was thinking maybe Blueblood could join you guys on your trip." Dusty suggested. "What?!" Blueblood gasped. "What?" Grimoire gaped. "What?!" The others yelped. "By golly, that's a good idea!" Caboose smiled. "Shut up, Caboose!" Slot elbowed his brother. "Now hold on a moment, Slot." Grimoire held up a hoof. "Dusty and Caboose are right... we could always use a pony to run the map while we search for the beast. "I don't know, bro." Murray shrugged. "Can this pony handle the great outdoors?" Blueblood frowned in offense. "Oh, I'm sure he can." Grimoire declared. "Nopony can be that incompetent. Present company aside of course." His six brothers glanced at Caboose. "I think he means you." Caboose whispered to Slot, who only rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm flattered you want me to join you... but Dusty and I have this thing..." Blueblood mumbled. "What thing?" Dusty asked. "You know..." Blueblood looked at Dusty with pleading eyes. "The thing..." "Oh..." Dusty realized, then shook her head. "No, we cancelled that." Blueblood gaped in horror. He was about to rebutt, but Grimoire stopped him. "Then it's settled." He smirked. "You are coming with us to the forest." "Dusty, a word please?" Blueblood asked. "Sure. Daddy?" She glanced at her father. "Don't be long, my little blossom." Grimoire smiled. Blueblood and Dusty quickly left the room. Once the doors to the dining room shut, the prince glared at Dusty. "What are you doing?!" Blueblood growled. "Look, I'm sorry." Dusty defended, "I panicked. My uncles and father are very judgmental when it comes to deciding a pony's worth." "So your answer was to send me out into the unforgiving wilderness with eight ponies that could easily dispose of a dead body and leave no trace of it?!" Blueblood hissed. "I figured it would give you a chance to bond with them. Once you get on their good sides, they are alright. I promise." Dusty sworn. "Dusty, please, I want to live!" Blueblood begged. "Now you're just being childish." Dusty snorted. "Oh come on!" Blueblood yelled. Meanwhile, as the pair argued, back in the dining room, as soon as Dusty and Blueblood left, the seven brothers glanced at their eldest. "Grim, what are you thinking?!" Murray shouted. "I couldn't say no!" Grim defended, "She's my daughter! She's simply trying to play up this coltfriend of hers." "He'll only slow us down!" Salt growled, "I know his type. He will be like 'This equipment too heavy' and 'eww, I got mud on my hoof'." "I know, why couldn't our niece date that one guy from Manehatten?" Vinny complained. "Church? Don't ya remember? Caboose shot him with a cannon!" Slot explained, glaring at Caboose. "Hey, it's not my fault that cannon didn't have a target unlock button!" Caboose defended. "Let's not get off topic here!" Grimm growled, "All we know is that we're going to be hunting with him, so we'll just have to get used to it." "Tomorrow is going to be Tartarus…" Slot groaned. "I don't know, guys, I kinda like him." Caboose smiled. "Shut up, Caboose! No one likes you!" Vinny snarled coldly. "That's not true!" Caboose pouted, as he grumbled, "I like me." Soon, the eight ponies got into a heated argument, speaking in very fluent and possibly harsh Bitalian, making several gestures with their hooves. However, Lars noticed the doors to the dining room opening. "Uh-oh, they're coming!" Lars yelled. "Positions!" Vinny cried in panic. Immediately, the eight ponies recomposed themselves and sat straight in their seats. Soon, Blueblood and Dusty came in, the prince looking very dejected. "So, I said, Funny? Funny how?" Vinny joked, hiding with a fake smirk. His brothers all laughed. "So, is everything in order, sweetheart?" Grimm asked his daughter. "Oh yes. Blueblood looks forward to this trip, right, Blue?" Dusty glanced at her coltfriend. "Just peachy." Blueblood falsely smiled. "Excellent. We leave at dawn." Grimm mused. "If you excuse us, we have to pack." With that, he and his brothers left the room. However, when Murray passed him, he leaned in towards Blueblood. "You're gonna love it. Where we're going, it'll be so deep in the woods that nopony will hear you scream." Murray sniggered, as he left the now horrified Blueblood. "Somepony please wake me up from this nightmare..." He pleaded.