//------------------------------// // Forensics Meets Geomancy // Story: My Little Investigations: The Gemstone Godfather // by Metool Bard //------------------------------// July 13, 8:34 AM Pie Rock Farm Farmhouse *** I should probably take this opportunity to explain what a rock farm is. See, when most ponies hear the term, they get very confused, and for good reason. After all, when you think of stuff that grows on a farm, rocks aren't the first thing that come to mind. Unless, of course, you have the patience to wait around for millions of years looking at sedimentary deposits or whatever. So, I'm gonna clear up all the ambiguity right here. A rock farm is a glorified quarry. And, that's it. That's all there is to it. It's just a place where ponies dig up rocks and process them for use in construction and the like. Why is it called a farm? I haven't the slightest clue. Some ponies are just weird. Speaking of weird ponies, that's actually a pretty apt way to describe the Pie family. I've already told you about Pinkie Pie and how weird she is, and well, the apple doesn't fall that far from the tree. Again, it's kinda hard to describe, but let me just say this. You know how they say if you talk to your plants, they'll grow better? Apparently, the Pie family thinks the same logic applies to rocks. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Now, like I said, Karat is actually a business partner of the Pies. For reasons that I don't fully understand, the Pie family has no use for gemstones. So, whenever they stumble upon a gem deposit, they sell 'em to Karat. I'm usually the one who has to pick them up, and as such, I've gotten to know the Pies pretty well. Despite their, eccentric tendencies, they're a very nice bunch. Which is why I'm pretty upset that they were somehow roped into my mess. I approached the farmhouse in the center of the field and gave the door a small tap. "Wh-what is the p-password~?" came a sad singsong voice from the other side of the door. I raised an eyebrow. I thought I was familiar with all of the Pie family's quirks. This was, certainly a new one on me. "Marble, it's me. Sparkler," I said. The door opened with a creak, and a dark grey pony about my age poked her head out. Indeed, it was Marble Pie; one of Pinkie's sisters. Her eyes met mine, and she tilted her head. "Well, you look like Sparkler. And you sound like Sparkler, too," she said, stroking her chin. "But there's just one thing." "And that is?" "Only Sparkler would know the password." I groaned. "Look, I'm a bit out of the loop here, Marble. What is the password?" "That's it." I blinked. "What's it?" "The password. You just said it twice." "I did?" "Yes." "Well, what was it?" "You just said it again." "What?" "That's four now." "So, what's the password." "What're you asking me for? You've already said it five times now." I rubbed the bridge of my nose with my hoof. "Um, can I just come in, please?" "Oh, sure. Just a minute," said Marble, turning her head for a moment. "Father, it's alright! It's just Sparkler!" "Did she say the password?!" "She sure did! Five times, in fact!" There was a pause, and the door opened wide. I was greeted by the top pony of the Pie Rock Farm: An old stallion named Igneous Rock Pie. He didn't look all that pleased to see me, but then again, Igneous isn't exactly a cheery pony. Sure, he's just as odd as the rest of the family, but he's always stone-faced and serious about it. I honestly don't remember the last time I saw him smile (although I'm sure he does, seeing as one of his daughters is Pinkie Pie). Of course, he didn't really have any reason to smile this time around. "This isn't the best time for you to visit, Amethyst," he grumbled. "We've fallen on some hard times." "I know. I heard about it from my mom," I said, brushing the back of my foreleg. "I thought maybe I could help you out." Igneous stroked his chin in thought. "Well, that's mighty kind of ya, Amethyst. But, how exactly would you help?" "However I can," I said with a shrug. Igneous nodded. "Hmm. Good answer. Alright, come on in." "Thank you," I said as I made my way inside the farmhouse, ignoring the creaks and squeaks from the floorboards as I walked. That's just one of the things you come to expect after being over to the Pie family's farmhouse a couple of times. I suppose it has sort of a rustic charm to it, but they seem more concerned with the upkeep of their fields than they are with maintaining their house. That's not to say it's terrible or anything, but it could use a bit more TLC. Seriously, I can't tell if the walls are actually that shade of grey, or if they just forgot to dust the place. Marble and Igneous led me into the parlor, where we all took a seat. "Can we get you anything, Sparkler?" asked Marble meekly. "No, thank you. I just had breakfast," I said. "Let's just cut to the chase. As I've mentioned before, I heard about what happened from my mom. However, I didn't get all the details." Igneous breathed a deep sigh and pressed his hooves together. "There aren't that many other details, Amethyst. That's the problem." "What do you mean?" I asked. Marble flattened her ears and sighed. "This morning, we were supposed to get up nice and early to rotate the rocks from the East Field to the South Field. But when I woke up, Limestone's bed was— *sniff* It was..." "Empty," said Igneous, completing Marble's thought. "At first, we figured she just got an early start. But then, we found this nailed to the front door." He reached under the tall black hat he wore and took out a small notice. I took it with my magic and read it over. Igneous Rock Pie, Cloudy Quartz, and Marble Inkamena Pie: You will notice that somepony is missing from your happy little group. One Limestone Blinkamena Pie, if I'm not mistaken. Well, I can't be mistaken. After all, I have her. Don't worry, she's safe. How long she stays that way, however, is up to you. Pay me a simple little gem tribute, and she'll return to you in one piece. Fail to meet the deadline, and I'll mail her back to you in pieces. I suppose you'll be getting her back either way, so it's your call. ~Anonymous As soon as I finished reading the letter, I couldn't help but feel a bit nauseous. I mean, wow. That, is pretty messed up. In fact, this note is actually a bit similar to the first one I got when the jewelry store was turned inside-out. It's certainly just as cryptic and menacing. Whoever this jerk is, he's pretty sick in the head. "Are you sure you're alright, Sparkler?" inquired Marble. "You look a bit green." "I-I'm alright," I said. "It's just that, I'm a bit at a loss for words." "I don't blame ya," said Igneous. "That was our reaction, too. I mean, it just doesn't add up. We've got no use for gems, anyway, so why did they have to ponynap poor Limestone?" I honestly think that's the least of his worries, but it's still a good point. Still, I had to know more. "So, this letter is your only clue to the kidnapping?" I asked. "Oh, ayuh," said Igneous. "That's another thing that has us stumped. There aren't even any signs that our house was broken into. It's like Limestone just up and vanished." So just like with the jewelry store and the hogtying of Opal, nopony was there to witness the crime because they didn't see it until it was too late. I'm still not sure how the culprit would pull that off, but it might have to do with those mystical gems that the Redvest pack mentioned. "And there are no other clues besides this one," I said. "Well, not yet," said Marble. "Mother and Pinkamena have been looking around the farm for clues." I raised an eyebrow. "Wait, Pinkie's here? How did she find out about this so early?" "Simple," said Marble. "She was woken up by her coat bristling, her hooves shuffling, and her scalp itching. That was her Pinkie Sense telling her that there was a family emergency." Oh, right. The Pinkie Sense. Silly me. Anypony who has lived in Ponyville long enough should know what that is. Basically, Pinkie Pie has these nervous ticks that help her predict the future. Don't, try to figure it out. I heard the last pony who did got herself into a world of hurt. "Do you mind if I go talk to them?" I asked. Igneous placed a hoof to his muzzle and furrowed his brow. "I dunno, Amethyst. I know you wanna help and all, but you know how my Cloudy-pie gets when she's talking to the rocks." "Wait, she's interrogating the rocks?" "Well, we sure didn't hear anything, so maybe they did." See what I mean about the Pie family being weird? To their way of thinking, talking to a bunch of rocks is a good solution to this problem. "Well, regardless, I still want to talk to them," I said. "See, I've been having some problems of my own with some thug trying to extort gems out of me. He's already attacked my mom and destroyed the jewelry store. In fact, he sent me this letter today, and I think he was talking about you." I took out the letter I got from Carrot Top this morning and gave it to Igneous. Igneous read it over and snorted. "And you think this here scalawag is the same one who made off with Limestone?" he asked. "I'm sure of it," I said with a nod. Igneous tapped his chin for a moment, and then shrugged. "Eh, why not? I suppose Cloudy-pie will understand once she knows we're in the same boat." "Thank you very much," I said with a bow. "So, where can I find them?" "I believe they should be in the East Field by now," said Marble. "Come, I'll show you." We then got up and headed for the door. But before I left, Igneous cleared his throat. "Just one last thing before you head out, Marble," he said. "We still need to rotate those rocks to the South Field after Cloudy-pie is done talking to 'em. Just let her know that, y'hear?" "I will, Father," said Marble. "Come along, Sparkler." Part of me questioned how the Pie family could go through their normal routine knowing that one of their own has been kidnapped, but then again, the world doesn't stop just because tragedy strikes. Besides, if there's one thing I know about Igneous Rock Pie, it's that he's always dedicated to his work (perhaps a bit too dedicated, but I won't get into that). With a shrug, I followed Marble over to the East Field. *** July 13, 9:14 AM Pie Rock Farm East Field *** "Now, I'm not accusing you of anything, good sir. Just tell me what you saw." "Why would the rock think you're accusing it, Mom? We've got no reason to suspect it." "Shh! Quiet, Pinkamena! You're scaring him!" It's very rare to see Pinkie Pie being the rational pony in any given scenario, and this just so happened to be one of those occasions. Just as Igneous said, Cloudy Quartz was talking to a rock while Pinkie Pie looked on. It seemed like she took the time to snag herself a detective kit, too, because she was wearing the same brown hat, holding a magnifying glass, and blowing bubbles out of a bubble pipe. Marble cleared her throat. "Um, I'm sorry to interrupt, Mother," she said. "But there's somepony here to help us." Cloudy Quartz didn't even look up. "Not now, Marble. Can't you see I'm busy?" she said curtly. "Aw, don't be like that, Mom," said Pinkie. "The more the merrier, I say!" "Pinkamena, stop scaring the rocks!" Cloudy Quartz hissed. "They won't talk if you keep gabbing like that!" "Oops. Sorry, Mom," said Pinkie sheepishly. "I'll just investigate over here with Sparkler." Cloudy Quartz looked up and adjusted her spectacles. "Sparkler? What are you doing here?" "Like Marble said, I'm here to help," I said. "I heard about what happened to Limestone, and I just so happen to be in the middle of an investigation myself. Someone is trying to fleece me for gems, too, and I think this is the same guy." Cloudy Quartz pursed her lips and stroked her chin for a moment. "Well, alright. But don't you go scaring any of these here rocks, y'hear? They're vital witnesses to Limestone's kidnapping." "Sure, fine. I won't," I said, although I'm not sure how one could actually scare a rock. "Oh, before you investigate with me, you're gonna need this," said Pinkie. She took out a bowler hat from nowhere and placed it on my head. "There! Now you're my Faithful Assistant!" "Um, thanks," I said. "So, what have you found so far, Pinkie?" "Up bup bup! That's Detective Pinkie to you, Faithful Assistant Sparkler," said Pinkie, blowing some bubbles out of her bubble pipe. "Uh, right. Sorry," I said, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "So, what have you found so far, Detective Pinkie?" "I'm glad you asked, Faithful Assistant Sparkler," said Pinkie. "So far, we've found Jack, Diddly, and Squat." "So, nothing so far?" "No, those are the names of the three rocks we've talked to," said Pinkie. "None of them seem to know all that much, but Squat thinks that Jack is hiding something. At least, that's what Mom says; I don't speak Rock." I think we need to get off the subject of talking to rocks before I start slamming my head against the wall. "Did you happen to find any other clues?" I asked. "Well, I've been looking for footprints, but I haven't found any yet," said Pinkie, looking at the ground through her magnifying glass. "That right there leads to a big clue." "What's that?" "Consider this, Faithful Assistant Sparkler. There are no footprints, and the culprit managed to kidnap Key Lime without anypony noticing. What does that tell you?" I hope she's not going where I think she's going. "I don't know, what?" "Well, it should tell you that the culprit might be using magic to make himself semi-intangible." Okay, credit where credit is due. That actually makes some sense. For a minute there, I thought she was gonna say something silly, like the culprit is a phantom or something. I guess she turned down her goofiness for the sake of the investigation. "What do you mean by semi-intangible, Detective Pinkie?" I inquired. "Well, if he was completely intangible, he wouldn't have been able to kidnap Key Lime," said Pinkie. "His arms would've just gone right through her." "I see," said I. "But, if he did grab her, wouldn't she have screamed?" "Hmm. That's a very good point, Faithful Assistant Sparkler," mused Pinkie. "Please stop calling me that," I said with an exasperated sigh. "Okay. Sorry," said Pinkie. "Anywhoodle, there are still some holes in this case, and any help would be..." Suddenly, her eyes widened. "Eureka!" "Pinkamena Diane Pie! What did I just get through telling you about scaring the rocks?!" Cloudy Quartz scolded. "Sorry, Mom. But look at this!" she said, pointing with her hoof. "I found a clue!" I looked at where she was pointing, and well, I'm not sure how anypony missed that. It was a big, honking pawprint embedded in the earth. I'd say it was a Diamond Dog, but I've yet to see one grow to be that big. Seriously, my hoof could easily fit into one of its toes. "I-it sure is large," said Marble. "Wh-what do you think it is, Pinkamena?" "Dunno," said Pinkie with a shrug. "I'd have to get Flutters in on this and ask her. You know how good she is with animals." "Wait!" said Cloudy Quartz, shuffling over to the print. "I'm getting some vibes from this trail in the earth. It might be a vision. Scoot over, Pinkamena." Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention. Cloudy Quartz is a geomancer. She can apparently predict the future from reading the textures in the ground. She usually uses this skill to find out what rocks need to go where, and if the rocks need special things such as an aerobics class or a bedtime story. I'm not questioning it; why should you? "Hmm. Oh, I see," said Cloudy Quartz, looking over the pawprint with a critical eye. "This is indeed interesting." "What? What does it say?" asked Pinkie. Cloudy Quartz's face darkened. "This trail tells of a powerful creature as sturdy as steel," she said. "He is close by, searching for something." "And, that's what made this print?" I asked. "Either that or a close facsimile," said Cloudy Quartz. "The trail doesn't go into any details. All it knows is that this creature will be upon us." "Wh-when?" whimpered Marble. "Right about, now." As soon as she said that, a large white tiger bounded in from seemingly nowhere. Marble shrieked and hid behind me. Pinkie, however, narrowed her eyes. "Hmm," she said, looking at the tiger's paw and then at the pawprint. She went back and forth between the two a few times while we all just stood there in stunned silence. She then started rubbing the side of her head. "Um, excuse me, Mr. Tiger, but would you mind submitting to a pawprint test?" asked Pinkie. "Yes, I would mind," said the tiger indignantly. "The Great Kohryu didn't send me out here to be accused by the likes of you." Pinkie's eyes nearly popped out of her skull. "Whoa! You can talk?! That's funny!" By this time, I figured that this was the last of Kohryu's acolytes: Byakko the White Tiger. However, what was he doing out here? "I fail to see how the act of speaking is humorous, equine," Byakko growled. "Because tigers aren't supposed to talk, silly," said Pinkie. "Well, except to Fluttershy, but she speaks Tiger. I think. Actually, I don't know if she's ever seen a tiger before. Come to think of it, do tigers live in the Everfree Forest? I've never seen one. I mean, I've seen manticores and cragodiles and parasprites and..." Byakko pinched the bridge of his nose. "I haven't the time for this. I'll have to continue my search elsewhere. Good day." With that, he bounded off in the opposite direction. "Wait! We didn't even do the pawprint test!" Pinkie called out. I frowned. Something screwy's going on around here. Why would Kohryu send one of his acolytes out to the Pie Rock Farm? And furthermore, was Byakko the one who kidnapped Limestone Pie? I suppose there's only one way to find out. It might not seem that smart, but I've got no other options at this point. "Excuse me for a minute, Detective Pinkie. I think I need to apprehend this suspect," I said. Before anypony could say anything, I took off after Byakko. I know Derpy's note told me not to do anything reckless, but I couldn't just let this important lead slip through my hooves. Besides, Byakko is one of Kohryu's acolytes. He's not gonna hurt me. ... I hope.