//------------------------------// // Of Livestock and Pets 3.6: A Ditch in Time (Edited) // Story: The Pony Dialogues // by Knowledge //------------------------------// Author: Knowledge Main Editor: waterpear Editor/Proof-reader: Rewrite Bonbon carried the philosopher into the Apple Family’s living room as Granny Smith and Big MacIntosh watched in awe. “Loud sound?” Bonbon inquired, spinning around quickly looking for anything eye-catching. All she found was an old mare and her son staring at the horsefly, who was taking the spinning very graciously despite it causing various objects to fall out of zir saddlebags. “Forget that, gal. We got a bug to smash!” the grandmother exclaimed. “Big Mac, get meh my fly swatter!” Big Mac ran into the kitchen and returned with a large novelty fly swatter. Taking the tool of death and carnage, Granny Smith slowly made her way to Bonbon, who was inspecting every corner of the house from her position in the entrance of the room. Upon reaching the curious learner, the grandmother started swatting Ei Rikr mercilessly, but the tool was ineffective. Bonbon’s constant shifting of Ei Rikr from side to side was doing more damage than the fly swatter. This was the point of no return. The last five minutes had caused Ei Rikr to fall so deep into despair from the lack of rationality in the world that nothing could bring zir back...except for: “Big Mac, we need to take extreme measures! Get meh my fly mallet!” Granny commanded, donning her soldier helmet. The large red stallion again vanished into the kitchen again and in an instant returned with a wooden potato mashing mallet. Granny Smith took the mallet in hoof and prepared to strike. The horsefly pulled and pushed at Bonbon’s hooves. Having failed to break Bonbon’s iron earth pony grip, Ei Rikr flailed manically “Stop, stop. Don’t kill me!” “Ah won’t be tricked by your tricks!” Granny Smith roared with the mallet coming down in all its death inducing terror. “Bonbon move!” the philosopher cried. There was only one other option open to zir if Bonbon didn’t react and that was to phase into flames. The problem was that this would cause Bonbon to receive terrible burns. “Huh?” Bonbon said, turning around to see what Ei Rikr wanted. This didn’t help Bonbon see who was talking to zir as she was carrying Ei Rikr on zir back, but it did switch who was in line to be smacked by the hammer. “Eee–Nooo!” Big Mac cried, adding to loudness and confusion of the already immensely chaotic situation. Granny Smith closed her eyes in strain as she pulled up on the mallet, trying to stop its deadly but surprisingly slow descent upon the unsuspecting newly genderless-identifying pony. “Huh?” Bonbon asked, turning to Big Mac and putting Ei Rikr back into the path of doom, crushy, smashy doom. Ei Rikr felt that ze now understood how Zecora must have felt when the hydra was descending upon her with the intent to gobble her up whole yesterday morning. “Bonbon, tell Sophia I am sorry!” Ei Rikr shouted, accepting zir doom. Ze felt the wooden spikes of the mallet as they made contact with zir chitin. Then there was nothing... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...nothing to worry about, because Big Mac had come to help Granny Smith and had successfully stopped the mallet before it crushed the poor, not entirely helpless horsefly. “Now, Bonbon, if yah would be so kind to drop that there bug so we could crush it without another heart-attack inducing incident?” the matriarch asked politely. Bonbon thought about this for a moment before grasping the horsefly tighter, since she didn’t want Ei Rikr to be crushed. Becoming more constricted, Ei Rikr struggled to speak. “I am...not here...to...HURT… I...was sent...TO...WORK!” “Oh, why didn’t yah say so?” Granny Smith asked, tossing the mallet haphazardly. Big Mac had to gallop to catch it. Upon doing so, he returned it to the kitchen. “Bon...bon...would...you...let…me!” Ei Rikr demanded, happy that ze didn’t need to breathe in order to live, only to mimic speech. Bonbon thought about this. She completed her thought by spinning around three times on her rearhooves, and placing the philosopher down on the ground like a danseur with his ballerina partner. The Apples clapped their hooves on the wooden floor in applause. “Why do you even have a death mallet?” the philosopher inquired, exasperated. “Have yah seen those flies and blood suckers we get in summer? They’re huge! If anything, Barnyard Bargain’s death mallets ain’t big enough!” the matriarch resolutely replied to the foalish question. Ei Rikr knew about the constant battle equines had with bugs. One of the major functions of their tails was to ward off the small annoying insects. That mallet, however, was just absurd, and the horsefly had to accept that things just didn’t work like they did in the Southern hemisphere. “Ahem, why were yah so late?” Granny asked Ei Rikr, immediately getting back to business. She went to her rocking chair while her son, standing behind her, poured her a glass of apple juice. “I accidently took a detour. I am sincerely sorry for that. I will make up any work I have missed,” Ei Rikr replied while taking zir time to pick up the objects that had fell out of zir saddlebags. Granny looked the horsefly right in the eyes. “Look me in the eyes when yah talk to me, young’in.” The grandmother felt Ei Rikr was being sincere and very polite, but she couldn’t stand the dishonest mannerism. Ei Rikr flapped zir wings slowly in a sigh. “I am sorry, Mrs. Smith, but I lack the ability to make eye contact.” “Why not?” the matriarch asked with a mixture of suspicion and curiosity. “Ze’s blind!” Bonbon answered for her friend. “What does she mean by that?” Granny Smith inquired, confused. “Not she, zzzzeeee!” Bonbon said. This confused everyone but Ei Rikr, who more surprised than confused. “Ahem, what Bonbon is trying to say and what I was alluding to is that I am blind, there cannot easily make eye contact. Also, Bonbon prefers the ‘ze’ pronoun instead of ‘she’ now, which is a long story,” Ei Rikr replied. Bonbon smiled and merely added a ‘Yes.’ Granny Smith squinted at the two young’ins before her. Big Mac stood behind her, trying best to add to the intimidation. Bonbon started to rethink her outbursts and moved closer to her only friend she had right now, wishing that the matriarch would stop looking so mean at her. Suddenly, the grandmother broke out in a smile. “Ain’t she the most adorable mare you ever darn seen? Don’t you think so, Big Mac?” “Eeee…,” Big Mac started to say before he was at a loss for the other half of his characteristic binary response. Bonbon tilted zir head to the right. “No?” she inquired of the big stallion. Big Mac had finally had enough and run out of the house to find some hard work to avoid thinking about awkward things. Granny Smith’s smile increased tenfold. “Woohee, look at that boy run. Strong and fast, what do you think, Bonbon?” Bonbon tilted zir heard to the left. “Yes?” ze half-asked and half-stated, unsure as to what was being asked of zir. This caused Granny Smith to laugh heartily. “Ah knew it when I first laid eyes upon yah that Big Mac and yah were meant for each other. Ah wonder what it would be like for you two to have a little talk.” Ei Rikr was actually curious how Bonbon would act when ze was talking to someone other than Ei Rikr, but the horsefly was not about to force zir new friend into any situation where ze would be uncomfortable. “So why are yah here, Bonbon? Our delicious apples, perhaps? Maybe a pie? Or how about a nice stallion husband?” the granny said while winking on the last suggestion. Ei Rikr was about to say something, but Bonbon answered the question. “We heard sound. Like ‘brtssh.’ Explain, please,” Bonbon replied. The grandmother blinked. “Oh, you mean that!” Granny Smith slowly eased out of her rocking chair and then lead them upstairs. There they entered a childs room. It had a twin bed with pink sheets and a pink canopy, a pile of newspapers in the corner for some reason, a blue cabinet, and a gothic-style window with blue curtains. The window was also broken, and the object that broke it lay in the middle of the floor. Bonbon rushed to the mysterious object and picked it up with her mouth. “Mha mis?” she asked, and it wasn’t hard to guess what she had asked. “Ah don’t know. Ah was hoping’ yah or the animal yah got there might know,” the matriarch said. “Let me inspect it, Bonbon,” Ei Rikr asked. Zir friend thought for a second before complying, which meant she spit the object directly at the poor horsefly. Ei Rikr did not get hurt, but ze reacted as it ze had been. “Wow Bonbon, if I am not careful, you will be the death of me.” “Stop complainin’. Yah didn’t git hurt, and yah know it. So what is it?” the grandmother asked. Ei Rikr lifted the object with zir magic, using it to sense out the shape and mass of it. “I didn’t know ponies played discus. My daughter will be, um, interested to play with you. She’s really good at the game.” “What object, Ever?” Bonbon asked still very confused. “Oh, pardon me. This here-” Ever whirled the object for emphasis. “-is a discus. This one is made out of magically hardened clay, and is lighter than normal to be used by children. You throw it as part of a sport.” “Ah never heard of the sport. Yah saying somepony threw this ‘diss-cuss’ into our house as some kind of sport?” Granny Smith asked. “You don’t play discus?” Ei Rikr took a second to put two and two together. “I think I know who made this discus then.” Before either the matriarch or the curious learner could ask a question, the horsefly pre-emptively answered. “I think it was my daughter playing her favorite sport. She must have gotten carried away and used her magic. You have no idea how many things she has thrown around with her magic. Well, I doubt she intended it to go through your window, but I am willing to fix it.” Granny Smith’s opinion of the horsefly rose after hearing that ze had a daughter and her immediate desire, upon learning that zir family member had wronged someone of another family, was to strive prevent potential conflict between families. “Oh, no need, youngin’. Yah said yer foal did it playing. Ah understand. My grandfoal can’t go a day without breakin’ somethin’. Anywho, yah got to git to work.” Ei Rikr gave Bonbon the discus because ze was still curious about it, and then as a group, they went downstairs and out the front door. Once outside, Granny Smith inspected the pink worker voucher. “Says here yer name is Ever Ruler, strange name, but yah are an animal. A boy? And here I thought yah were a ladybug. Also says yah are an horsefly and have no talents. What it forgot to mention was that yah were as ugly a mule.” That final statement caught Ei Rikr completely off-guard, when suddenly a mule appeared from just outside of zir peripheral vision. “Ahem, no offense, Meuler,” the grandmother immediately amended. “None taken. So Miss Smith is this the new worker?” the mule asked. Ei Rikr had the irrational suspicion that the only reason the grandmother had used a speciest slur was that it caused the mule to appear like magic. “Yep. He’s talentless, so put him in irrigation with the pigs for now.” Ei Rikr vibrated zir wings in steady but powerful flaps, trying to keep calm after being insulted so much. “Well, follow me. Ah will show yah to the animals yah will be workin’ with. If yah had come earlier, Ah would have shown yah the farm, but that will have to wait for another day. Ah am sure the other animals will have questions about yah. Not often they see a talentless,” Meuler said. Ei Rikr followed closely behind Meuler, lest ze get lost. Bonbon noticed they were moving and joined them, carrying the clay discus in zir mouth all the while. Meuler was surprised by the development. “Uh Miss, may Ah ask yer name?” Meuler inquired politely as they passed the barn where the cows and chickens lived. Bonbon attempted to talk through the discus again with equally incoherent results. Noticing this, ze prepared to spit it out by rearing back a bit. Bonbon stamped the ground with her forehooves and ejected the dirty disk in violent percision towards a poor horsefly migrant. This time ze was prepared. Ei Rikr tilted zir barrel towards the ground while pushing zir saddlebags open and deftly caught the sporting projectile. Bonbon clapped her hooves at the show before turning to the mule in order to answer his question. “My name is Bonbon. Your name is Meuler? Correct?” “Yes, Miss Bonbon, my name is Meuler.” The curious learner frowned. “Not ‘miss’, only Bonbon.” Meuler’s face became a bit taunt in response to what ze had said. “Ah can’t call yah just by yer name. It ain’t proper, Miss.” Bonbon snorted at this. They started walking by corn fields, where the sheep were harvesting. It was convenient for them, as their pen where they slept, ate, were sheared, and did their other business was adjacent to the yellow grain. “So Miss Bonbon, why are yah following us to the irrigation canals?” Meuler asked nervously. “I am curious. Explain irrigation ditches please,” Bonbon commanded. Meuler relaxed his expression considerably. “Yes, Miss Bonbon. Yah see those crops,” Meuler pointed to the corn fields. “Those crops need water. The ponies in the village normally water their gardens with watering cans and hoses, but we are a farm, obviously, so we can’t just water every plant individually. We also need a lot more water, so we use rivers. By digging ditches from the rivers and using dams, which we call irrigation canals, we can control where the water goes and lead it through our plots. By laying down perforated tubes of metal, water from the irrigation canals can be dispersed through the soil evenly.” Bonbon hummed as she listened. “I would like to see. You are digging now?” “Miss Bonbon, if by ‘you,’ yah mean the animals, then, yes, we are digging now, and it would be mah pleasure, Miss Bonbon, to show yah the crops that the animals work on,” Meuler replied, taking a deep bow each time he said zir name. Ei Rikr did zir best to ignore how ze was being ignored. Ze did not come to this country to get involved with political and social issues. Ze had enough of those things and just wanted timeless, universal kinds of philosophical thoughts. At this point, they had gotten past all the current crop fields and reached the new areas where pigs and local beavers were working on the irrigation. There were donkeys and mules overseeing groups of ten to twenty-five ‘animals’ each. They did this by standing by a cart of tools and basically walking back and forth. If there was a problem, they would jump into the ditch and solve it. For instance if a pig found a particularly large rock, the mule or donkey would come in to help. The reached the edge of the developed property of the farm, and Bonbon could see only five pigs working there. “So Miss Bonbon, this is here is an irrigation canal. This one’s just getting started, but we plan to get it all the way to the other side before we connect it to where other animals are working in our direction. We don’t got many people in my team ‘cause Ah am the head mule around here. Ah tell the other equines where to have their teams dig so that all of their canals go through important points. It requires a special eye like mine to see where those points are ‘cause the land is more irregular here than in the apple orchard.” The curious learner surveyed the land before her, seeing some of these lines, but not the ‘important points’ Meuler was referring to. “Excuse me Miss Bonbon while I talk to this animal,” Meuler said before addressing Ei Rikr. “So listen to me. I am your boss, and you do whatever I say unless an Apple or any other pony tells you differently. You see that cart over there?” He pointed to a cart full of shovels, ropes, and water jugs. “You are to get one of those shovels and work with him.” Meuler pointed to a rather large pig with splotches of brown pigmentation along his back. Ei Rikr compiled without complaint. In the past, Ei Rikr would have started a dialogue about oppression, but at this point ze just didn’t want to introduce such a radical concept to a people who might take offense to it. Bonbon followed behind, and when Ei Rikr took a shovel and entered the ditch, ze did as well. Meuler’s face became stretched back with a forced expression again, but he wasn’t the only one upset by this. The animals who had been neglecting their work to watch this unusual exchange had become very territorial about having an earth pony join them. The philosophical foreigner could not but feel their angry gaze on zir yellow back. “Miss Bonbon, that isn’t the place for ponies like you. If you want to work on the farm, there is the apple orchard on the other side. I am sure Applejack will be happy to have you help.” The curious learner ignored him and started to help Ei Rikr find a place to dig. For some reason, this farming earth stuff made intuitive sense to zir. “Oh, why are you acting like an old mare who can barely remembered what happened to her yesterday?” Meuler waited for half a second before adding, “No offense.” Ei Rikr twitched as ze had a sinking feeling of what was going to happen next. “None taken,” came the voice that knew of the Road of Generations, a road which spanned Equestria and beyond. The horsefly flapped zir wings very slowly as ze decided to drop the load of dirt from zir shovel before shoveling it up again as a form of silent protest. Bonbon made a curious look at zir digging partner. “Its refreshing seeing a young pony getting in the dirt again,” Granny Smith began. “In my day, we earth ponies did all the irrigation. Ah had to carry them boulders around the farm for my dad, and not once did Ah complain that it was animal work because it wasn’t animal work, it was pony work back then. Yah youngin’s could learn a thing or two from an ol’ fashioned gal like Bonbon, so Ah don’t want to hear any of yah complainin’ about what she can and cannot do.” Meuler’s face became so stretched with stress that Bonbon though it would peel off. “Oh, and Bonbon, Ah insist yah join us for dinner. Meuler will be happy to show yah the way when yah are done out here.” “Yes, ma’am,” Meuler replied in complete obedience to his pony boss. With that, Granny Smith moseyed back to the house very slowly. Bonbon and Ei Rikr continued to work without interruption, but that didn’t keep the pigs from talking amongst themselves. The one right next to Ei Rikr with the brown splotch on his back, however, was quite different. He seemed to be smirking broadly. The philosopher shoveled rapidly, unsure what pace was appropriate. “Woah there, new guy. Yer gettin’ the dirt everywhere,” Meuler shouted. He was about to go into the ditch to help but Bonbon was already helping. Bonbon put zir shovel down so ze could guide Ei Rikr’s hooves. Together they lifted the dirt and put it into a medium pile behind the pig next to them. “Here,” the curious teacher said, making Ei Rikr pat the dirt with zir shovel. “Thank, Bonbon, I am glad to have you with me.” Everyone watching the couple were completely scandalized by the public display of closeness between a pony and an ‘animal.’ It was not normal for a farm animal to touch ponies, except during pony holidays like the Sisterhooves Social for the ceremonial petting zoo. The pig started laughing heartily. “What’s with you two? I have never have expect an undisguised horsefly to be here, and I haven’t seen a pony work directly with an ‘animal’ in years. By the way, the name’s Bacon, Franks Bacon.” ‘Horsefly’ got Ei Rikr’s attention. “And my name is Ever Ruler. You know what my species is called?” The pig laughed again. “Oh, Ever, you know what they say about knowledge?” “Uh, I don’t. What do they say about knowledge?” The pig just shook his large head as he shoveled a heavy mixture of stone and dirt over his shoulder into the pile behind him. “Just forget I asked.” Then Franks adopted a very soft tone. “Hey, what do yah think of ponies?” Ei Rikr tensed. Adopting an equally hushed tone, ze replied. “I am not comfortable talking about a people I only encountered yesterday as if I understand them.” Franks chewed on his inner cheek a bit before replying. “I understand.” Franks looked behind him to see if Meuler was watching them. “Marks and Angles-” He indicated the two pigs in their respective ditches with the butt of his shovel. “-and I are having our kind gather in the barn tonight. Why don’t you join us? I think you would find some of us with whom you would enjoy to share your opinions, openly, and we could really learn a lot from an ancient outsider like you.” Meuler then noticed they were talking more than working and shouted at them. Ei Rikr just went back to work, and contemplated how Franks had known so much of zir when no one else here did. Ze decided ze would go to this barn meeting to find out more and see if any of them might oblige zir in philosophy. Bonbon and Ei Rikr worked for the next two hours, and every once and awhile they would run into a large stone or Ei Rikr would not know what to do and Bonbon would help out. She had the strength to remove the stones, relieving Meuler of much of his job, and she was observant enough to spot what Ei Rikr was doing wrong and correct it. Meuler, in response, got the two their own water canteens. Ei Rikr just took zir water canteen and strapped it to zir saddlebags. Eventually it was time for a break, and the pigs made mud through their magical talent to pull groundwater from the soil and bring it to the surface. They used this mud to cool themselves off. Bonbon and Ei Rikr left the ditch to look at their progress. In the last three hours, the seven digging had gotten twelve meters of dirt removed for the canal. It helped that Ei Rikr had used zir body mass to fuel zir digging, because that allowed zir to dig at a constant, aggressive pace. This did mean that ze would have to recuperate that lost energy later in a feeding. The holes in zir legs were already the size of bits. Bonbon took this time to drink and ask questions. “Why does Ei Rikr not drink?” She pushed her already half-empty water canteen at the philosopher for emphasis. “I don’t need water. I am a being without the distractions of hunger, thirst, or lust.” “Why do you have water then?” the curious learner asked nudging the canteen Ei Rikr had tied to zir saddlebags. “Bonbon, why don’t you try telling some of our co-workers about things we have talked about. I find it useful to explain things to others in order to improve my understanding of them.” Ei Rikr indicated the pigs behind Bonbon so ze would have no problem understanding zir. Ze nodded enthusiastically and paired up with a mud covered pig who wasn’t Franks. She opened with “Gender is like hooves!” and just started repeating as verbatim as possible the talk they had the previous day. Another pig took this opportunity to ask Ei Rikr some questions. “My name’s Ovens. Pam Ovens,” she introduced herself. “I had a question, which is: why are you two together like that? Are you her pet or something?” “Pet? I am sorry. I am new here and don’t know this country’s customs. What is a pet?” Ei Rikr asked. Pam smiled before frowning. “What are pets? They are like us-” She pointed between the two of them as if there was some obvious commonality. “-but they don’t have to do any work. All they do is play. Pets get nice pony food which the ponies make for them. And they get this because they cannot speak Equestrian. It isn’t fair. I tell you.” Ei Rikr absorbed this. “Why do you think I am Bonbon’s pet then? Ze clearly isn’t working for me or feeding me. Well, ze hasn’t ever fed me yet.” Pam squinted at the philosopher. Ze shrugged. “What can I say, I am a species that has to be fed by another person because we are parasitic. If Bonbon decided she will feed me, then I will not deny her. I already have holes in my hooves that need to be filled.” “The reason why I think that pony is your owner is because you two are so chummy,” she explained. “You know I only met zir today, and after a long chat, I think we just kind of bonded.” “Bonbon bonded with you? That just how they make us pets. They go out and bond with our kind, and we have to give up our pride and joy.” Pam indicated the canal. “Well, I don’t think of myself as a pet,” Ei Rikr responded. “Doesn’t matter. It’s their choice, not yours. If you want to stop it, you better make some connections and fast. I hear there is a group in Neighara Falls who’s secretly helping out our kind.” Pam then seem to realize something. “Wait a minute. You are one of them, aren’t you. No wonder you just come here all of a sudden and don’t care if a pony has claimed you or not. Can you let me join? I got family in Trottingham I want to meet again.” Her eyes became so full of hope. Ei Rikr was just plain uncomfortable at this point, so ze found the nearest object and tried to turn it into a philosophical distraction. Finding nothing particularly interesting around zir, ze remembered the stuff in zir saddlebags. After opening it, ze had to push around many things like gold doubloons, Spike’s portrait of Rarity, and Soap N. Hower’s book of clean but absolutely pessimistic essays. Ze finally found the discus which had somehow found its way to the bottom. “See this,” Ei Rikr introduced the discus. Pam’s eyes just exploded with wonder. “Imagine that this is not a discus but a tiny particle called an atom. Now imagine yourself made out of these particles. That your shovel is made out of these particles. They are just so small you cannot see them. There are about ten times ten to the twenty-seventh power, that is followed by twenty-seven zeros atoms in your entire body to give you perspective.” Pam blinked but tried to figure out what secret was hidden in the philosopher’s words. She didn’t know math, for that was not taught to non-equines, so she had no idea what Ei Rikr meant. “Now there are even smaller particles called electrons which just orbit around this-” Ei Rikr indicated the discus while creating little green flames with zir horn. “-not too unlike our sun and moon.” The green flames started to rapidly move around discus in elliptical orbits, leaving little trails of afterglow. “Now imagine I place this discus in the middle of an island which is ten kilometers wide. The range between the discus and the coastline is, if I remember correctly, the same relative distance between an atom its electrons.” The little flames started to move further and further away from the discus and faded into nothingness to exaggerate the distance they traveled away without having to maintain the spell. At this point, Pam’s eyes had started to glaze over. “If you think about it, that is all empty space between the center of the atom and its electrons and that means we are actually mostly empty space. It should really surprise us that when I try to pick up this discus that my hoof doesn’t just phase right through it because the chances is that I am only going to have a tiny fraction of the particles actually hit each other. Isn’t that neat?” Pam frowned deeply. “Well, if you are not going to tell me anything about your secret organization, then fine. You don’t have to spout gibberish at me to let me know you want to be left alone.” Ei Rikr dropped the discus onto the ground. It landed on a stone and cracked into two halves. Ei Rikr saw that the pig was speaking very slowly and patronizingly to Bonbon, who had just attempted to repeat what the philosopher had talked to her about earlier that day. “I don’t know what happened to your head, but just look between your legs if you forget what gender you are,” the pig advised the pony. With that, the pig went back to mud bathing, ignoring the hurt look of Bonbon. The stone then crumbled into the tiniest pieces; just the right atom of the discus had landed on just the right atom of the stone to completely compromise the structural integrity of the latter. “Back to work!” Meuler shouted and all the animals stopped laying in the mud or whatever they were doing and took up their shovels again. “Bonbon, I am going to go back to work. If you want, you can join me again, but you don’t have to,” Ei Rikr said to the sad pony, trying to comfort zir. She looked at Ei Rikr sternly. “I want to learn more. I want to explain more.” The horsefly offered zir dirty hoof to Bonbon. Ze tentatively took it. Ei Rikr then pulled her into an embrace. “Peace, sibling. You have not made a mistake. Learn with me and we shall overcome this difficult time in our lives.” Ze held the pony there for a few seconds before receiving an embrace back which was strong enough to prevent the horsefly from talking back. “Come on you pet, get back to work,” the mule commanded them in a moderate tone. Aside from the pony doing ditch digging, Meuler didn’t really mind what the two did, being more concerned with keeping his stern image up. Weirder things happened on this farm on a weekly basis, after all. The other workers, on the other hoof, did mind. It was going to be a long evening of shoveling dirt with all the gossip going on around the two.